“After saving my hide from that expired hyde? I’d be HONORED to give you a friendly howdy-doo!” Luther puffs his chest and takes her by the hand, but it phases right through. The sensation makes him tingle.

“Oh, sorry~🎵 I need to concentrate~🎵” Luther’s new ghostly lady companion, Lyra, wiggles her wrist, and it flickers like a light bulb.

This annoys her, but Lyra tries again. “Mmm~🎵 Come On~🎵 Come On~🎵” She’s having difficulties getting it going.

Luther gets up. “It’s alright. I can help myself up, ma’am.” He puts a hand on her shoulder, only for that to phase through as well. The tingle is extra sensational because his hand nearly slipped through Lyra like touching a cloud. Luther wiggles the funny feeling out of his fingers, then notices that Lyra’s face is distraught and is so fixated on…

“Come on…Come on…” Lyra winds her wrist harder. It almost looks like she’s about to cry, but…

*BING* “Finally~🎵” She moans with relief now that her hand is glowing a near-solid blue. Lyra puts on a big smile and holds out her hand again to Luther.

Luther seems puzzled.

“Go on~🎵” Lyra bops her head.

Luther takes Lyra’s hand and shakes it. Her handshake has a lot of power, energy, and enthusiasm. He’s trying to let go, but Lyra won’t stop.

She asks, “Can you feel it, hun~? My handshake, can you honestly truly feel it~?” Her eyes sparkle.

Luther chuckles. “I sure can, Miss, I sure as can as can do!”

“Really, really, really?” Lyra’s eyes start to water as she shakes Luther’s hand more erratically.

“Yes, yes, yes! I felt the shake the first few dozen times.” Luther struggles to keep a grip.

“I’ll take your word for it~🎵 What’s your name, hun~?”

“I’m Luther!”

“Ok~🎵 Luther?” Lyra tilts her head with a grin.

“Luther?” Luther tilts his head with a grin.

“You’re Luther~?” Lyra nods with a grin.

“Luther!” Luther nods with a grin.

“Yup~🎵 Soooooooo, Luther~?” Lyra shakes Luther’s arm. It limps like a wet noodle.

Luther has ceased contributing to Lyra’s excitable hand-shaking, and even though it’s one-sided now, she continues.

There is an existential dread all over Luther’s face. Something is wrong…horribly…horribly…wrong. Subconsciously he SQUEEZES Lyra’s hand TIGHT in a vice grip.

“OW~!” Lyra pouts.

Luther is thinking, ‘Luther? Luther? LUTHER? Why can’t I tell her my last name…I know my own damn last name…I should…but I can’t say it!’

“I said OW~!” Lyra yanks her hand out like stretching a balloon, and she smacks against the wall like a pancake.

‘Luther…(Knotts)…Luther…(Knott)…Luther…(Knot)….Luther (Kno)…Luther…’ Luther goes blank as each letter slips away.

*A-CHOO* He sneezes and feels tingles across his nose.

Lyra has her cheeks puffed up and is gracefully slapping Luther with her other open hand, which is phasing right through him and causing the tingles. “Don’t make me slap ya for real~! Mr. Luther~!”

Luther wells up another sneeze as Lyra’s astral slaps grace his face. “Sorry, Miss…”

Lyra deflates her cheeks and folds her arms. “That’s better! Wait! You were able to feel even THAT?” Lyra lights up.

She gives him a suggestive glean and leans in close…Luther is fearful…

“Hey~🎵 Behind ya~!” Lyra suddenly points over Luther’s shoulder.

“WHAT? WHO? WHERE? WHY?” Luther flips around and karate-chops the air with both hands!

❤️*SMOOCH*❤️ Lyra gives Luther a quick phantom’s peck on the cheek.

*ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP* An intense electrical burst explodes inside Luther. “KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!”

When the shock runs its course and the tingling stops in his face, Luther scowls at Lyra. “EXCUSE ME! I DID NOT CONSENT TO THAT OR THAT! Shame on you, saving my life doesn’t grant you permission to lay lips on my chiseled cheeks…”

“Heh~🎵 Heh~🎵 Sorry~!” Lyra flutters her hand. “I didn’t think you’d feel that one THAT MUCH~🎵”

Luther brushes himself off, then a realization hits him!  “Wait! Just now! What did I say?”

“KNOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSS~!” Lyra fauxes electrocution.

“That’s it! That’s my last name! I wanted to tell you before, but I couldn’t!” Luther puts his hands on his side.  “What a relief! Before, it was like…” He frowns as he feels his last name escape again.

This really stumps him. Luther closes his eyes and scratches his head. “I guess your smooch made me remember!”

He opens his eyes and is taken aback by the sight of Lyra’s HUGE TEARFUL EYES.

She is flicking the tears away with a handkerchief. “OH~🎵 MY~🎵 GHOSTLY GOD~🎵 THAT IS SO ROMANTIC~!”

Luther fumbles through his coat jacket and realizes Lyra swiped his handkerchief! He snappily swipes it back as photos of scantily clad bikini babes fall out and litter the floor. Luther brashly sweeps them up while whistling.

“I can give ya one more~! But I charge interest~!” Lyra playfully puckers her lips.

Luther recalling the electrical end result, does not entertain her offer and huffs.

“I have trouble remembering stuff too, ya know~! I don’t know my own last name either, hun~🎵” Lyra floats through and in front of him.

Luther feels a light tingle as she passes through him. “HEY! HEY! CONSENT! Ask next time!”

“Apologies, hun~🎵” Lyra puts her hands together. “Oh, and before I forget, thanks for rescuing me, Mr. Luther KNOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSS!”

“Don’t mention it. Huh? Rescue?”

“Yeah! From my glass lamp thingy prison. I kept desperately knocking away, begging for my dramatic rescue.” Lyra puts a hand over her head and daintily falls to the ground.

Lyra floats back up. “I was really banging away in there, but I guess you didn’t hear lil’ ol’ me~🎵”

Luther scratches his head. “Well, I didn’t hear, let alone even see lil’ ol’ you inside there.”

“...Hmm~🎵 Suspiciously spooky~🎵” Lyra lies on her back, airborne, with her finger and thumb under her chin.

“But anyway. It’s fine…it’s fine. Thanks for the apology, and you’re welcome for the rescue. So…how do I leave this dump?” Luther looks at the front door that apparently leads nowhere but back inside.

Lyra takes in a deeeeeeeeeeep breath and gets ready to answer with-

-but Luther fires off. “AND THAT NASTY ZOMBIE? AND THE CLOCKS? THAT INSULTINGLY LOUD SONG? WHY DOES THE LIVING ROOM SMELL LIKE CAT PISS? DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THAT SMELL!  AND THE PORTRAIT-”

“Umm, hun…”

Noting Lyra’s annoyance, Luther slowly stops himself.

“One at a time, hun~🎵 And I can only answer what I know~🎵” First, those cards~!”

Luther looks down at the cards, still poking out from the gaping wound in his left hand.

“Can you pull ‘em all out and get a count for me~?”

Luther hesitates…

“I know it’ll hurt…but it’s reeeeeaaaaaallllllllly important~” Lyra clasps her hands together.

Luther sucks in his breath, puffs his cheeks, and quickly yanks them out in one go.

*aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh* It still stings.

‘Huh…’ Luther didn’t have a chance to take in the complete design of the card sleeves before, but now he can…

‘Huh…huh…looks like a family crest, but WAY TOO weird and creepy for any family I’d wanna be a part of…what’s with that Wolf?’ Luther tries to brush the blood stain off the illegible name, but it won’t come off. A perfectly annoying (and convenient) permanent stain…

Lyra peeks over his shoulder while he gets a count. “Strange~🎵 Fifty-two cards…but it’s loaded with low numbers…”

“Couldn’t wait for me to finish? And what’s strange about that?” Luther looks over.

“You see~🎵 When I watched other DOAs come through here, many started with way less than that…”

“Others? DOAs?”

“Yeah. Dead on Arrivals, hun~🎵” Lyra chuckles.

Luther chuckles too. Dead on Arrivals-

“CUZ I HAD A FRONT-ROW SEAT TO WATCH THEM ALL GET EVISCERATED, EATEN, AND EXCRETED RIGHT OUTTA THE BOWELS OF BLOODTHIRSTY BEASTS~!” Lyra yanks her jaw way down so that it stretches to the floor.

Luther is shocked at her sudden and harsh tonal shift and falls backward. Dust rises as he crashes down below.

“Sorry~🎵” Lyra looks down at him. “But you might survive (I’m already dead)~🎵 I got a 0.00000000001% good feeling about our partnership~🎵”

Luther rises. “...partnership?”

“Those cards are the keys to our attacks~!”

“Our attacks?”

“Yes~🎵 Our~🎵” Lyra leans into him again, pulls out a pair of old lady glasses from between her tits, and wears them. “Each card is an attack by itself. All those 2s, 3s, and so on would unleash your melee prowess, buuuuuuuuuuut since you don’t look like a physical guy, I wouldn’t recommend that~🎵 To make matters worse for your lack of physicality, your deck is packed with lots of low numbers….except for me~🎵 Your Queen~🎵”

“If you combine three cards together like we did before~🎵 Then you will have more options~🎵” Lyra clacks the cards between her hands like an accordion.

Luther puffs his chest. “I have two options right here!” He karate chops the air again. “I’m the most revered and respected Karate practitioner…by mail…in this county alone…notwithstanding the other (mail order) martial artists…”

Lyra is amused. “Hey~🎵 Luther~🎵 Let’s say you freed a genie from the lamp~🎵 What are your three wishes~?” She holds up three fingers.

“...context?” Luther inquires. That sort of thing is important.

“When you freed me from that glass lamp thingy, it felt like I was a genie in a bottle~🎵”

“...mhmm…”

“Come on, you’re no fun, hun. Just play along~🎵” Lyra elbows Luther.

“...whatever…” Luther nods. “My first wish is to go home!”

“Hehe~🎵 Ooooooh-kay~🎵 Two left!” Lyra lowers a finger.

Luther nods. “And be…” An image of Alma in his mind becomes fuzzy and vanishes…

“And be~?” Lyra hesitates to lower her second finger.

Luther can see the fuzzy image of Alma near Lyra. “…brave…for…” He looks deep into the eyes of Alma’s visage. The image disappears for good, and he lightly weeps without noticing.

“Not for me, I hope~🎵 We just met~🎵” Lyra giggles and lowers her second finger. “We’ll come back to that one later. Ok, and your final wish?”

“And for you to help me remember…” Luther’s tears roll down his face.

Lyra floats closer, makes her thumb a solid blue, and starts wiping his tears. “Ok, hun~🎵 Ok~🎵 I will and free of charge. That one’s on the house, and that’s a promise~🎵”

“...look at me crying, and I can’t even remember what I’m crying about…” Luther rubs his sleeve across his face. “Alright, then lead the way…”

Lyra takes him by the hand. “The only way out is up!”

“Ok!” Luther, with gusto, allows Lyra to lead their stroll. He pulls out the compass from his pocket and fiddles with it. Luther can’t seem to remember why he brought this along…

“Yeah, that’s it~🎵 I see aaaaaaaaaaalllllll sorts of crusty creepy creatures crawl up there~!” Lyra shakes with glee at their destination…

…a misty marble staircase that feels like it goes on for eternity and certainly damnation…

Luther wants to scream and run, but his legs are frozen stiff. He can’t even believe he missed this place upon entry. It’s FUCKIN HUGE with pillars on the side. It feels like a church or mausoleum. It’s FUCKING FRIGHTENING will the pool of mist that flushes down the stairs. How in the hell did he miss this shit? Luther can’t seem to scream but can bubble up a *GULP* *GULP* *DOUBLE GULP* as he stands motionless, sweating his ass off.

“Permission to phase, hun?” Lyra asks.

“P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-eeeerrrrrrrrrmmmm-miss-miss-miss…sure…” Luther rattles in place.

Lyra whistles and slaps her arm through him, and takes the compass. “I was curious about this thingy~🎵” She flicks the compass and watches the needle spin. “Oh?”

“O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh what?”

“Who’s C?” Lyra squints as she inspects the inside of the compass lid.

“See who?” Luther’s gaze is still entranced by the stairs.

“C this, hun~🎵” Lyra flourishes the compass in Luther’s face.

“C? I see…” Luther squints as he postulates out loud. C? C? Does he know anybody named C?

“Dunno, I’d have to ask Kelsey…” Luther smiles! Hey, he remembers Kelsey, but then Luther frowns because just as soon as he visualizes the Senior Janitor, it fades away.

“Kelsey? Boo’s that?” Lyra jokes but Luther furrows. “I think it’s a good joke, I can’t work with Kelsey, but I can always rely on Boo~🎵” She flutters her eyelashes.

As Luther furrows, he watches the somehow still spinning needle. ‘Damn thing must be broken-’ The red tip of the needle abruptly stops and points straight at the stairs.

“Times a-wastin'. Even your cooky compass agrees~🎵” Lyra claps Luther’s shoulders.

Luther shoots his gaze left and right. “W-W-W-W-W-Wait! Not up there! Surely there must be another way out!”

“Not sure about that, hun~🎵” Lyra puts her hands on Luther’s face to force him to stop.

Luther’s eyes bulge and become bloodshot. ‘B-B-But…how…’ Now that his gaze has been forcefully stopped, he’s illuminated to the unfortunate and unbelievable reality that this room is somehow the only room in existence.

Beyond the pillars are shadows and beyond the shadows is an endless unfathomable void. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that something VERY strange is happening around here…

“Ready for liftoff~🎵 Your cooky compass commands us forward~🎵” Lyra claps Luther’s shoulders again with a grin of devilish determination.

Luther gulps once more.

Lyra booms up the stairs. Luther’s pupils contract as he watches her ghostly body disappear deep into the mist as her still-clutching arms continue to stretch for several feet.

Luther begs, “W-W-Wait, I’m feeling a cooooooooooooky tooooooooooooooooo-” Before the force of Lyra’s lingering arms haul and catapult him up the stairs and even deeper into the mist.

…

…

Light footsteps exit from behind a pillar…

…a strange little girl with a strange little tentacle for a tail sizes up the new arrivals as more mist ensnares her, and she vanishes into nothingness…

-CHAPTER END-

Better get your ghostly game on…

-Nightmare’s overture-