Currently, I am suffering. 

I just had my legs blown off from a plasma core explosion and was shot in the stomach with a bolter round. Yet nothing could compare to the pain I was experiencing right now. Matter of fact, this might be the worst pain I have ever felt. No, this is definitely my first time experiencing any kind of severe pain in my entire life. 

A life that should be over…

My back is aching like an old man, and I feel like somebody crushed me into a tight ball and forced me out of a small hole. I can’t see anything through my blurred vision, and my ears are ringing violently as noises bombard me like the cracking of railguns. I can’t make sense of anything. All my senses are under assault right now. I wasn’t a believer, but I sure was now. This was hell, and I was damned to suffer here.

Suddenly, a warmth spread through my chest and then to my outer extremities, going all the way to the tips of my fingers. It felt like somebody had injected morphine straight into my solar plexus, and it was a blissful experience. Almost instantly, my body stopped hurting. 

More importantly, I could finally see again. My vision corrected, finally allowing me to see an ancient-looking older man with thick slabs for glasses staring intently at me. He took them off, and his bright emerald green eyes were almost shimmering. No… the irises of his eyes were actually swirling. He smiled at me, and without a word, he picked me up. 

Wait, how is that possible?!

I am seven feet tall and weigh well over three hundred pounds without my suit. But this old geezer just lifted me with ease as if I weighed nothing. Confused and feeling… angry? I tried to push him away from me only to realize I couldn’t control my…tiny little brown arms. 

I was suddenly flipped like a pancake and was face down staring at the wooden floorboards when I got a swift smack to my rear. I attempted to scream out profanities at the older man, but my voice came out as a high-pitched cry. 

This is awful. Hell is far worse than people made it out to be. 

My eyes began to water as the old man turned me back over. He smiled and said something in a language I’d never heard before. What the hell is going on? He is clearly Human, and I know nearly all of Earth’s primary languages. What kind of dialect is that? He walked over a few steps and bent down while handing me over to somebody else. I tried to scream at him, but I was still just letting out a shrill cry.

The new person hugged me tightly to her soft chest and smiled down at me. Her white alabaster skin was gleaming with sweat. She had long blonde hair that went past her shoulders, and her facial features were so sharp you might be able to cut yourself on them. 

Her eyes should have been hazel, but instead, they were almost like pools of gold. And just like the old man, her irises swirled around. My eyes drifted upwards. Poking out of her matted-down hair were…long dagger-like ears, just like an Elunari. 

I am so screwed.

She was an Albino; she had to be. I didn’t know they could have blond hair and gold eyes, but I guess anything is possible at this point. Even though I should be feeling an insurmountable amount of dread as the most dangerous Xeno known to Humanity held me to her chest, I felt unnaturally calm about all of this. 

She was attempting to speak to me. Her voice was so soft and warm. But I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. She picked me up and gave me a warm smile as she handed me over to a man. 

He had long black hair, dark brown skin, and softer facial features. His eyes swam just like the others, but his were like pure purple amethysts. And coming out from the side of his head were droopy pointed ears. He, too, was smiling at me. 

Ah, man….

—

It’s been about two months since I first opened my eyes again. I have come to a startling conclusion about my current situation. I have somehow survived my battle with Elysium Squad and have been put into a Naval Intelligence artificial reality simulation. 

It’s the only thing that possibly makes sense. I had heard the Navy was working on something, but to think they could go this far was astounding.

Although I have never felt this kind of pain before or even half the emotions that currently swell inside of my head, they have perfectly managed to replicate what I imagine they should be like. I was unsure what exactly their goal was by making me go through all of this, rather than just ending my life, but I suppose I should play along for the time being.

Perhaps this was a test? A test of my loyalty?  

Besides, the Navy had even managed to fully recreate what being an infant was like. Currently, I am nothing more than a baby. I had gotten a good look at my tiny body when I was being cradled. And to be expected, I was as useless as an infant. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even control my arms and legs, let alone my bowels or speech. 

I have slept more in these last two months than I have in the previous fifteen years. I cannot keep myself awake, especially after I am fed. All I could do was eat, sleep, defecate on myself, and drown in my own thoughts.

I might actually be going mad.

I stuck to counting when I wasn’t thinking about my situation or crying out when I was hungry. Hunger… that was a new thing for me, I had never been hungry before, but now I feel like I could eat forty trays of nutrient paste in one sitting.

I was currently lying down in a bed of sorts looking up at the ceiling, thinking about all of these things. Then, the female Xeno walked over to me and began to wrap me up tightly in this INFERNAL CONTRAPTION. 

Whatever this teal cloth was made out of, it gave me a slight tingling sensation on my skin, and the heat it gave off was always perfect. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the strength to kick myself out of its warm embrace while I drifted off to sleep once again.

—

Another six months sped by in the blink of an eye. 

After months of boredom and monotony, I have finally strengthened my arms to where I can army crawl around. I had been doing everything in my power to gain this ability. Now with this new power, I can regain some of my freedom.

I crawled around at blinding speeds, dragging my chubby body across the wooden floor. This is my second attempt at investigating my new confinement. This home, as it appeared to be, was rather large but it was only a single-story building. Everything was made of wood and was in shades of deep brown and green. It was almost like a tribal hut, but this was very much a house. 

Somehow, they managed to blend together modern aspects with nature. There were also no squares or right angles present. Everything was circular. The chairs, the couches, everything. Even the walls lacked right angles. That is what makes this feel more like a hut than a house, I think.

I had also noticed a distinct lack of technology as it appears the simulation has me in some early time period. For example, there are no lights. Instead, the only light that reaches the windows is from outside. The windows don't appear to be glass but some kind of transparent wood-like material.

I attempted to get a better look, but I had yet to master the ability to stand, so it seemed strengthening my legs would take some time. From what I could see, the outside was covered by large green trees. It appeared to be less like a forest and more like a jungle, but it was too difficult to tell without being able to look out the window properly.

I was speeding down the hallway when I noticed a door was left ajar that led to a room I had not yet been in. I forced my fat little body in between the door and the frame and slid myself in. The space was relatively small and had a single-window illuminating the undisturbed room. Inside was a giant, dusty metal studded chest.

This entire room was a dust hazard. 

I crawled over to the chest and attempted to get the lid open, but I couldn’t even manage to get my fat little body up. Damn this body, why couldn’t they just make me a bit older?

Instead, I turned my attention to a dust-covered gray cloth that was draped over something. I moved over to it and reached with all my might. I stretched my tiny little arms to the brink, and it felt like I was going to pass out from the exertion. But I was rewarded for my efforts as I pulled down the cloth that was barely in my reach. The cloth and what felt like pounds of grime threatened to smother my life away. I began coughing and thrashing around as I attempted to get the damn thing off me.

I finally managed to roll out of the cloth, and I looked up with awe. On a wooden stand was a set of pitch-black armor. It was elegant and beautiful. The armor was more like a warrior’s armor than a knight’s. Its design was intricate yet practical. The dark purple gems accenting the metal were eye-catching. I didn’t know much about medieval armor, but I knew this was high quality, and fit for nobility. I also knew the wearer probably favored mobility over defense. The armor tickled my mind a little, and it almost reminded me of my armor. 

Leaning against the armor stand was a long spear made of some black metal, probably the same metal with which the armor was crafted. It was also adorned with purple gems and matched the armor perfectly. The spear itself seemed to suck the light in from the room; it was such a deep black.

I got lost in the armor’s craftsmanship as a voice called out to me. “Kaladin, what are you doing in here, you little rascal? I swear I take my eyes off of you for just a second, and you speed away.” 

Crap, I’ve been discovered. 

These eight months, I have not only been strengthening my arms to crawl. I have also tasked myself with learning the spoken language. It took some time, but I finally managed to grasp it. I have also learned what my name is, I am now being called Kaladin. The system has dictated that this Xeno witch is to be my mother. 

She scooped me up into her arms and began wiping the dust off my face. “How did you manage to get in here, huh? Daddy must have left the door open,” she said with a hint of annoyance. But her smile quickly returned as she giggled, “But look at you, you are just so cute with all that dust on you!” she said while wiping the dust off my face.

She finished cleaning my face as I gave her a deadpan stare. I couldn’t speak back to her. Any attempt at speech just came out as me gargling my own saliva and moaning like an idiot. This is how low I have fallen. She took me back to the kitchen and set me on the counter in a basket.

“Would you stop glaring at me? You are so cute when you smile, see,” she stretched my cheeks into a smile and began playing with my face. 

I’ll make you pay for this humiliation…one day.

Just then my father walked into the house. He often disappeared and didn’t come back for a few days at a time. I figured he worked some kind of shift-based job that kept him out for days.

“Welcome home, dear.”

“Mmm. Good to be back, how is Kal doing?”

“I caught him crawling around in the storage room, he pulled down the cover on your armor. He could have been hurt, you know!” my mother chided.

“Sorry… I thought I closed it all the way before I left,” he said dejectedly.

I stared into my father’s eyes and attempted to create a telepathic link with him. “You should keep doors open more often for me,” I repeated in my head.

“I see he still likes staring into your soul just like you used to do,” he said while smiling and walking over to me.

“Hey… I never did that,” my mother pouted.

“I do wonder what he is thinking about. Do you think he can understand us yet?” asked my father as he stared down at me and began to tickle me under the armpits.

Damn it. Why do I always giggle? I can’t control this sensation. THIS HURTS YOU KNOW?

“No way, he isn’t even a year old yet… but sometimes I do think he does somewhat understand us,” my mother mused. 

Haha… only if you knew, witch. Simulation or not, I am still a dangerous weapon. I’m just in stasis, awaiting my time to strike. You two will rue the day when I can walk again!

“Well, I have to make dinner. Can you play with Kal for a little while?” asked my mother.

“Why don’t I help you, and he can sit and watch. Babies like watching their parents do stuff, right?”

“Sure… maybe one day I can teach him to be a master chef, fit for a king!” exclaimed my mother. 

My father turned around and gave my mother an empty stare with dead eyes. “I doubt that,” my father said with a sad look on his face. 

Mother looked like she was about to cry. I had only tasted a little bit of her cooking on the rare occasion. It was some kind of rice porridge I believe. I thought it tasted good, it reminded me of nutrient paste. But it looks like my father disagreed.

My father consoled her and they began preparing dinner together. I didn’t really pay attention to what they were doing but I actively tried to listen to the names of items when they called out for them. It wasn’t until my mother went to start what I could only assume to be the stove, did my interest finally got piqued. She loaded the stove with wood and without a match, lighter, or any flame source for that matter, set the wood ablaze.

I didn’t see how she started the stove, but I knew it couldn’t have been gas or electricity. So what the hell did this witch just do? I did the only thing I could do and attempted to alert this monster to my confusion by crying out. 

She stopped and came over to me with a look of concern. “I think he wants to see how you set the stove up, hon,” my father said. 

Yes, you are so bright for an alien scum. That is exactly what I wanted. You get me so well.

“Really? Do you think Kal responded to my magic? Maybe he is a fire mage!” she exclaimed, practically jumping around with joy. 

Wait, what? Fire Magic? Freakin’ Mages? Is the Navy really going this route? Why on Earth would they be going this far?

The witch came over to me and summoned a small orange ball of fire out of thin air. The ball just sat in her hand as she tossed it around. She summoned two slightly different colored balls of fire and began to juggle them. I could feel the heat from the flaming balls as they warmed my cheeks. This witch just casually juggled them around like a circus clown. I was amazed. This looked so real. The Navy had gone so far as to include magic in their simulation. 

Humanity really can do anything.