Jasper was sneaking peeks at his phone all throughout Basic Incantations class. This class was just for his specialization, so the only people in it were him, Josephine, Bashira, Jorge, Bryan and Claire.

—————

Jasper: I have the cake in class. Is the target locked on?

Josephine: Jasper can you speak like a non-nerd/normal person or is that impossible?

Maria: I’m picking up the food now. And yes, Jasper. I told Cody to bring Aren to our lunch spot at 12:45.

Jasper: Josephine, when do YOU speak like a normal person? And WHY is Cody coming???

Maria: He and Aren get along well in class. Plus Cody stares at you all the time so I’m trying to see if something will happen there.

Josephine: (⦿_◉)     👀 💕 

Jasper: No.

Jasper: And my left eye is not THAT much bigger.

Josephine: This is the first I’ve heard of this Cody thing. Why.

Jasper: There’s nothing to hear about, he’s straight.

Maria: So was I until I moved out of Miami.

Josephine: Is Miami homophobic?

Maria: No, but my parents are.

Maria: Actually there are a lot of biphobic people in Miami, strangely. Which is essentially the same thing. They weren’t outwardly rude but they would refuse to date bisexual people.

Jasper: Ok, class is about to get out. Let’s hope Cody isn’t early because the mountain of decorations overflowing from Josephine’s poor choking bag will take a minute to set up.

Josephine: Heh. Choking on that—

Josephine: …

Josephine: …

Josephine: …

Josephine: Oh, come on guys!

Josephine: Dick!

Jasper: I thought Maria was the bisexual one.

Maria: Technically bisexual, but advertised lesbian as I refuse to see men until the gender pay gap is abolished and equal rights are restored.

Jasper: Amen

Josephine: Amen (No Christo)

Josephine: (Like no homo but for religion)

—————

The second Josephine and Jasper got out of class, they booked it to their usual spot. The building next-door had a corner with a mini cafeteria-like area. It was a side building without much traffic, and this spot had six tables, two vending machines and a microwave.

It was nice, quiet and out of the way, just how Aren liked things.

Josephine was maniacally throwing table cloths and streamers everywhere, with Jasper scrambling in her wake trying to set everything nicely.

“BLOW SOME BALLOONS.” she shouted, throwing a bag right into Jasper’s face. “YOU SHOULD BE GOOD AT THAT.”

“Actually, my gag reflex is awful and—”

“Jasper, just get the cake out.” Maria said as she set up little trays of chicken, beans, veggies and rice from an off-campus latin café. It was good shit, and Jasper’s mouth salivated at the smell.

They managed to throw everything up in six minutes, and began blowing balloons. As Jasper landed on balloon number four, his lungs began to tire, and he could see it on the others too.

“They’ll be here any second.” Maria said, huffing in annoyance as she tied bright pink air rubber.

“Why didn’t we do dinner? We could’ve set up a room at the Arboretum in advance, and celebrated after Magic Control?” Josephine asked, diet-wheezing as she held a half-blown green balloon.

“Because then everyone would come.” Jasper said, desperately trying to catch his breath that the blue air rubber was stealing from him. “Aren doesn’t like too much attention.”

“Right.” Josephine panted, trying to pop the balloon she was in the process of blowing with her eyes. “Why is this so hard?”

“I think we’re just being dramatic.” Jasper managed to get out through heavy breathing.

They all stopped huffing and stared at each other.

“Jesuchristo!” Maria said. “You lot have me subconsciously participating in your bits now!”

Jasper rolled his eyes. “Josephine may be the bit queen, but you’ve always—”

Just then, Aren and Cody appeared from around the corner.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” the three of them yelled and threw their arms up. Josephine nearly hit the both of them.

Jasper threw a helium-less cyan balloon into the air. It fell to the ground. They gave Aren a moment to look at everything, which was about one whole second. Cody looked more surprised.

“Ok.” Cody said. “I could’ve yelled happy birthday too if I knew… this…”

Jasper looked at Maria. “You didn’t tell him why he had to bring Aren?”

Maria shrugged. “Must’ve slipped my mind. There’s enough food for you too, Cody! Come and dine with the queers!”

Jasper narrowed his eyes. Things don’t slip Maria’s mind. And dine with the queers? “Oh my god.” Jasper muttered. “She’s trying to induct someone!”

Josephine nudged him and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll conduct an extensive interview.”

“Don’t you dare—” Jasper cut himself off and smiled at an approaching Aren. 

The silent hugs of appreciation commenced.

As everyone filled their plates, Jasper took his beanie and jacket off. He wasn’t the only one to de-clothe a bit— the indoor heater was working wonders in this building.

“Ah, your hair’s sticking up.” Cody said as Jasper felt the man’s hand brushing down on his head.

He… fixed Jasper’s hair… and Maria and Josephine stared at the entire interaction. Aren, the purest of everyone, was eating their food, minding their business, content in the moment.

How Jasper longed to know what contentment was like. He read about it once, long ago, in a literature he could no longer remember…

“So Cody.” Josephine started.

No, he would never know contentment.

“Are you and Marilyn dating, or is she a lesbian too?”

“Uhh, no to both?” Cody said.

“I coulda told you that.” Maria said to Josephine, who shot her back a look. Maria made flashed her eyes back. How were they communicating right now? If Jasper didn’t make some leaps to change the conversation…

“Tension.” Aren scrunched their eyes, looking at everyone at the table as they now looked back at Aren. Aren was not pleased. There was an eggshell waiting to be cracked, and Aren could feel it.

“Is everyone okay?” Cody asked in a confused tone.

“You know what, no.” Jasper said. “I’ll bring up the elephant in the room. Josephine cheated on Maria.”

“You WHAT?” Maria shouted, whipping her head around.

“You don’t hold me like you used to!” Josephine shouted back with a soap opera flare to her voice.

The two women started blaring off at each other, and Jasper smiled at what he accomplished.

In the midst of their argument, Aren was watching with intent eyes and Cody leaned into Jasper, whispering, “Should we… leave?”

“Oh, no.” Jasper said to him, refusing to take his eyes off the women. “They’re poly. They’re just committing to the bit I started.”

Cody creased his eyebrows in disbelief, then looked back to the live action drama playing out.

“You didn’t even share your popsicle with me yesterday, and it was a double stick!” Josephine shouted.

“My father warned me you were poison!” Maria shouted.

“Your father disowned you!”

“Yeah, and I hope he gets eaten by la chupacabra. Or maybe, like, mothman!”

“My aching heart burns of a wish, that you may no longer live in his shadow!” Josephine pleaded, in every dramatic way one could imagine. She latched onto Maria’s shoulders and shook slightly. “I only slept with that woman to curb her favor, for she is an esteemed assassin!”

“Jadear! You were going to…” Maria swiped her own neck and stuck her tongue out, to mock being dead, “my father? For me?”

“Yes, my love!” Josephine tenderly moved one hand to Maria’s cheek, and they both stood up from their seats. Betwixt sparkling eyes looking longingly upon each other’s depth, they gravitated inward for one monumental, passionate lip-pressed kiss.

Aren started clapping as a piece of rice fell from their mouth. They were in a near trance watching the lesbian drama.

Cody leaned back into Jasper’s ear. “Do… you ever do this sort of thing with them?”

Jasper shrugged. “Sometimes. They’re better at it, though.”

Josephine and Maria sat back down, tongues finally tired from one another. At least for a few seconds.

“Nonsense, nerd!” Josephine said. “You’re the blueprint! The starter! The instigator, the propagator of our scenes!”

Aren aggressively nodded in agreement.

Was… was this their way of trying to make Jasper look good in front of Cody? By calling him a propagator? How involved were they in this scheme?!

No, Jasper loved his friends. The scandals were what kept him alive. When Josephine accidentally stole a tooth from a campus statue. When Aren was caught hooking up with someone in the dorms. When Maria made a fake account on a conservative app and made everyone think the cure for a common cold was a controversial brand of dog food.

If these fun people wanted to be his wing-queers and make a thing out of it… he would have to pretend to not know what was going on for his sanity.

“You know, Cody.” Maria started. “Jasper has a really big—”

Jasper started choking on a piece of chicken.

“Brain. You’re lucky you snagged him for the final project.” she finished, smiling ear to ear.

Too. Stress. Inducing. Still… choking. Aren… behind… punching in stomach— AGHCK! Heimlich performed. Thank…

Jasper coughed out the piece of chicken due to Aren’s swift fist, and the morsel ricocheted off of Josephine’s forehead. In slow-mo he watched her squint and throw her head back in an astonished disgust.

“You were actually choking?!” Cody asked, near petrified.

“Aren sees all.” Aren said, sitting back down in their seat. Three words in a row. Aren was really proud of themself for that one.

“Getting done in by something dumb and not an entity is the way to go.” Jasper said in a low tone, sipping at his water and staring at the table, coming to terms with the fact he was just assaulted by circumstance. He glanced up at Maria and Josephine with a cold stare.

You lesbians almost killed me!

And you gay chicken spitter soiled me! Josephine’s eyes said back as she wiped her head profusely with a napkin.

Jasper looked down at the chicken on his plate. “Yeah, I need a few hours to trust this food item again.”

“Beans and rice will never hurt you.” Maria said.

“Amen.” Josephine and Jasper said simultaneously, and Cody nearly spit out the first bite of rice he took since Jasper’s near death experience half a second ago. Cody put his hand in front of his mouth and stopped for a second before swallowing.

“Was that a laugh snort or a taken-aback snort?” Jasper asked him.

Cody’s eyes looked over at him. “I think a piece of rice is stuck in my nasal cavity.” he said flatly.

When he said this, Josephine looked up and missed her mouth, stabbing her cheek with her fork and dropping beans on her collar.

“Aww, fuckleton.” she said, reaching for another napkin.

“There’s rice in your nose?” Maria asked.

“What’s supposed to happen now?” Jasper asked.

“I’m not sure.” Cody said, now a mouth-breather. “If I breathe in will it drop straight into my lungs?”

“Be safe.” Josephine said. “Only use the front door.”

Jasper rolled his eyes at her as Cody said, “It’s pretty far back. It might get stuck on the way out.” Which was a statement that entirely did not help the look on Josephine’s face.

“Let’s go to the bathroom.” Jasper said to him. “I have a mostly safe idea to get it out.”

“Mostly?” Cody asked. His mouth breathing was unwavering, probably not wanting to move the rice even a millimeter. Dramatic-ass man. Jasper would 100% do the same.

Jasper was already getting Cody to stand up, though. “Bring your water bottle if you don’t want want murky-ass sink water three credits shy of a degree in waste to enter your mouth. Not waste management, just waste.”

Cody obliged and followed him, and Jasper ignored the meddling lesbian eyes following them down the hall.

“Interlopers.” Jasper heard Aren say to the women.

Note to self. Give Aren a hug later.