Lucille was enjoying her Saturday quite a bit actually, despite Maria canceling her weekly visit. They hadn’t missed one in quite a while, but she said it was alright. Soon after she hung up, she got out a DVD and put it in. She had like three home exercise videos that she watched every morning for the past five years, with some light equipment to go with it. The thing was a part of her daily ritual at this point. While she did the exercise though, she ate a granola bar with one hand while she lifted a weight with the other and ran in place. It was a trick that Ella had her think of so she could work out and still eat to feel good.

“You’re going great!” Lucille could hear Ella cheer in her head. “Go, go, go! Work it!”

Recently she had been going on some runs outside the house too. Her husband had told her that he was worried that she was holding herself up in the house too much, and that she should go out and enjoy herself. So Ella helped her plan out run routes and times she would take. Was it a lot of effort? Yes. Did it make her feel starving and like hell afterwards? Yes. Did she sometimes get sick on the sidewalk? Yeah. But she felt it was worth it, or at least Ella made her feel like it was. She was getting out and active like people wanted.

When she came home from that day’s run, she was feeling famished like she always did afterwards. She hadn’t eaten anything while she ran, just to keep focused on not losing her breakfast.

“I’m starving,” she cheerily said to herself. “Should probably find something.”

“After a great run like that, you deserve a reward,” agreed Ella.

“Let’s see what we’ve got…”

Lucille opened the fridge and looked around. After getting so hot from exercise, she figured that something cold would be good to start with. She began with eating a few fistfuls of shredded cheese and some still-cold leftover meatballs. After closing the fridge, she made her way to the pantry and ate a mix of chips and cookies and other foods that she didn’t quite remember. Finally she took a few pudding cups out to eat and sat down at the kitchen table. 

In less than two minutes, she had eaten the six pudding cups that she had taken out, and wanted some more. She stockpiled those things like crazy because of how addictive they were to her. As she took out another five cups and put them on the table, she heard a knock at the door. Quickly, she ran to the door, nearly tripping over the coffee table. When she answered, Diane and Robin stood there, to her surprise.

“D-Diane! Robin! What’re you doing here?”

“We're here to check on you,” Diane said slowly. “Maria said you’ve been… lonely.”

“Just get rid of them so you can go back,” Ella growled.

“I’m not lonely,” Lucille said with a forced smile. “My Mar-Bar just worries about me too much, like I worry about her!”

“Maria also said you haven’t called or texted her in months.” Robin leered. “And you haven’t bugged us in months either.”

Lucille started getting nervous, and her palms were sweaty. She didn’t really want to explain herself, and she was getting a bit stressed.

“Tell them you’re busy so they go away. It’s not like they really want to be around you after what you did.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been busy,” she apologized. “And I’m in the middle of something right now.”

“Oh yeah," snorted Robin. "What?”

“I’m ah, doing something with my friend Ella,” she said, panicking. “Maybe later we could talk later, or-”

“Do you have like a dozen pudding cups on your kitchen table?” Diane asked, craning her neck around the door.

“T-that’s just-”

“You have a bloody children’s party here or something?” Robin asked, also spying them. Lucille felt frozen, not knowing what to say.

“Lucille, your daughter has told us some things,” said Diane sympathetically, taking a deep breath. “Have you been… binge eating?”

“And been doing it for months?” finished Robin, who was staring at Lucille’s slightly more filled out body.

“You don’t binge, you just like food.”

“I don’t binge,” Lucille said with a nervous laugh. “I just like food. It's really been nothing more of a small bit of stress eating at most.”

Though both Diane and Robin had noticed a few years ago that Lucille did have a pretty good like for food and snacks, but it wasn’t like this. Back then, she would’ve invited them in as soon as they showed up, and probably put a granola bar or pudding cup into their hands without asking first. Now it was like she was trying to keep them out of the house and hide something.

“Can we come in?” Diane asked.

“Right now is, uh, a bad time,” Lucille said, starting to shake. She was also beginning to feel sick standing there being under pressure.

“Lucille, we-”

“Get rid of them NOW!”

“I said it’s a bad time!” she snapped, closing the door in their faces.

Immediately, Lucille ran to the bathroom just in time to make it to the toilet. And immediately, her body involuntarily rejected all the food she had shoved in it in record time. After a couple minutes, she cleaned up and came back out. She covered her mouth to see Diane poking around her binge wrappers, and Robin looking straight at her with arms crossed.

“You forgot to lock your door after slamming it in our faces,” she growled. “Sit down. We’ve got some stuff to talk about.”

*   *   *   *   *

“Ok, so… these,” Diane started, holding up a trash bag full of the wrappers and containers of the stuff Lucille binged on before they walked in. Diane was only used to having these kinds of interventions as a parent, so for a few minutes she’d have to treat Lucille like a teenager. “You know what this is, right?”

“Some real activities with your friend Ella, right?” Robin asked, rolling her eyes.

“Robin,” Diane said sternly. “Lucille, what were you doing before we came?”

“Just having a snack,” she said. “Nothing bad about that.”

“You know this isn’t a snack though, right?”

“What does she know anyway?” Ella said. “She’s the one here who won’t eat any food thanks to you. What would she know about eating too much?”

“Diane, I think you’re blowing this up,” Lucille laughed nervously. “I just came back from a long run and I was just hungry.”

“And so you planned to eat two bags of chips, half a box of cookies, and a dozen pudding cups?” Robin asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well… that’s right. It’s really not as much as it sounds.”

“Right… I don’t think your stomach or toilet agree with that.”

“Yeah, did you do that on purpose?” Diane asked, now fully leaning into grilling this woman alive with as many questions as possible.

“No, God, no, I would never do that on purpose,” Lucille said, profusely shaking her head. “That’s a waste of food anyway.”

“But it is making you sick,” Diane said, locking eyes. “And you know it’s making you sick, and you do it anyway. And you’re pushing people away because of it.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” she said, a bit less sure of herself now. “It’s… it’s still like before, just without me kidding myself thinking I’ve got friends.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at me, Diane!” Lucille said in an outburst, tearing up. “I was the worst person when I was younger, and that’s all everyone’s going to remember me for until I die! What I did to everyone, especially you, is just unforgivable!” Her outburst died down and she looked to the floor, dejected. “Whatever’s happening to me, I deserve it. I’m finally getting my punishment everyone says I should get. I think Robin of all people should know that.”

“That’s what this is about?” Diane asked, almost not believing it. “You’re eating and eating and getting yourself sick because you feel bad about what you did to me?!”

“I deserve what’s coming. I know it, you know it, she knows it.” The two of them assumed she was referring to Robin.

“Listen,” Robin said, leaning forward, surprising and intimidating them all. “I think you’re a bitch, and I want you to know that. But if you want to be a little less of a bitch, you can start by listening to Diane for once instead of ignoring her. It’s the least you could do.” With that, Robin leaned back again and crossed her arms. Neither Diane nor Lucille quite knew what that was supposed to be, but the message came across pretty clear.

“I… alright…” Lucille said in submission, looking defeated.

“Lucille, stop feeling bad,” said Diane. “You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened to me. We were teenagers, stupid, did things we shouldn’t have done and said things we shouldn’t have said. We both regret what happened. No, I don’t want you to be my best friend, and I never will, but…” Diane closed her eyes and swallowed hard for a second, as if really reconsidering what she was about to say. “But if you need a friend, Robin and I are here to give you a chance.”

“You would both do that?” Lucille asked in disbelief.

“Not willingly,” mumbled Robin. Diane elbowed her. “Yeah, you could be like… a close acquaintance. That’s as far as I’m willing to let this go.”

“Listen, at least I’ll be your friend,” offered Diane sincerely. 

“I just don’t know what to say… I-”

“Yeah, hold it right there,” Robin interrupted. “I want you to know we’re going to still be talking for another hour and a half because Diane has more questions.”

“Oh,” Lucille said, flashing a weary forced-on grin. “How wonderful my new friends are…”

*   *   *   *   *

The Next Day

The next day, Maria and Sophie drove to Lucille’s house and parked out front. Since they couldn’t come yesterday, Maria wanted to surprise her mom after her talk with Diane and Robin before. The two got out of the car, and Maria carefully revealed a house key from her pocket.

“Are you sure you won’t give your mom like, a heart attack or something?” Sophie asked.

“Mama’s got a strong heart, Phi,” Maria reassured. “She said it’s how she gave birth to someone as cute as me!”

“Can’t argue with that,” Sophie giggled as she gave Maria a hug from behind. 

When Maria flung open the door, she was preparing to shout surprise, but instead her face fell as she saw Lucille eating a pudding cup next to a trash bag with a lot of junk food wrappers in it.

“MAMA!” screamed Maria. Sophie stepped back, not used to ever seeing her girlfriend so upset. It was like her teeth grew sharper and her hair redder as her anger rose. “WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!”

“Mar-Bar!” Lucille gasped, dropping her food. “It’s- It’s not what-”

“Mama, sit, now!” Maria barked with her high pitched voice. Lucille complied. As Maria sat down, Sophie took her place silently next to her.

“You said you’d stop,” she pouted.

“Baby, I tried, but-”

“We’re getting you a doctor then.”

“Baby, I don’t-”

“You’re getting one, end of story,” Maria said finally. Lucille bowed her head.

“Honey, it’s just…”

“Just what?” Maria asked, so furious she was tearing up. “I thought we got you people to talk to yesterday! I thought this was your chance to turn around! But you’re back to where you were when we turn our backs!”

“Mar,” Sophie whispered. “Maybe go cool off outside for a sec?”

“Phi, I-”

“You’re scaring her.”

They both looked at Lucille, who now looked on the very verge of tears. Maria’s face softened a bit and she took a deep breath.

“I’ll be right back, Mama,” she said, walking outside. Sophie took this chance to walk over and sit on the arm of the chair Lucille was sitting in.

“Hey, um…”

“You can just call me Mama, dear,”

“Mrs. Hawthorne,” Sophie started. “Listen, I’m no stranger to family members with eating disorders. Heck, I’m no stranger to mothers with eating disorders.” At that comment, Lucille winced just a bit, remembering Diane. “But when you do this, you’re hurting more than yourself.”

“I… am?” Lucille asked.

“Yeah,” the young woman nodded. “You’re probably the only one who rivals me in Maria’s list of love. And every time you hurt yourself, you’re hurting her because she loves you so much.”

“I… I never thought about it like that…”

“Yeah, people usually don’t. But I’m serious, I watched my mom and brother struggle, and I really don’t want Maria to go through that pain of watching someone she loves hurt herself, and I don’t think you do either.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Lucille sniffled. “Are you going to be a therapist?”

“Well… I am going to follow in my Aunt Bella’s footsteps.”

“You’ll make her proud,” she laughed.

“Mama,” Maria said, having listened to the whole conversation. “Can you… see someone to get help now…?”

Lucille looked trapped and like she really didn’t want to. She heard Ella ringing through her head.

“You don’t need any of that shit,” Ella hissed. “Your own daughter’s trying to starve you. You don’t have to listen to her. Just tell her to get out!”

“Baby, you…” She started shaking, then took a really deep breath. “Alright baby girl… For you.”

“I just don’t want you hurting, Mama,” Maria said, her face tearing up as she pulled her mother into an embrace. “So let us help you now.” Lucille cried a bit and returned the hug, even if a tiny bit of her wanted to push her daughter away. The Ella part of her. But she was glad Maria was here though; nobody else could’ve said that like she could.