That night, Scott checked Lucille’s temperature and found she wasn’t sick. She insisted that it was probably some kind of food poisoning. He believed her, and went to work just the same the next day. For a couple months after that night though, at least twice a week, Lucille’s feelings would get to her too much for her to handle, and she would binge eat. After a while, it became a habit when she was all alone. 

It was an odd new experience for her to do, and it didn’t always end with her getting sick in the bathroom. After being a few months in, she used it as a way to calm down whenever anything happened, or she was nervous about something. Eventually, she didn't even feel the need to constantly be messaging Maria, or to constantly bug Diane or Robin to tail along with them. It was almost therapeutic to her.

Lucille used the food to wash away the feelings of emptiness that had been building in her since Maria left. Each bite made her feel a bit better about all the guilt crushing her from ruining Diane’s life forever. It all made her hate herself just a bit less, and she could feel something inside cheering her forward. It knew she felt better when she binged, and it was harmless to her anyway. In adulthood, she hadn’t been the most conscientious of her body, so she didn’t think that would be a problem if anything changed there.

One day she felt lonely, even while binging, so she made her own imaginary friend. It felt childish to her only for a bit, but it grew on her the more she normalized herself with her. And so from that day forward, her friend Ella would tell her exactly how to cheer her up when she was down. And that way would always involve going to the kitchen, and keeping it a secret from everyone else. They would probably think she’s disgusting if they knew, so Lucille kept it between herself and Ella…

*   *   *   *   *

“Hello?” Scott said, answering his phone during his lunch break. Normally he’d talk with Lucille over lunch, but she wasn’t answering right now.

“Dad?” Maria said, sounding nervous.

“Oh, hi honey. How’s school?”

“Oh, it’s going well. Classes are still fine.”

“What about Sophie?”

“She’s um, she’s also doing fine.”

“Honey, are you alright?” Scott asked with a furrowed brow. “You sound-”

“Dad, is Mama ok?” Maria interrupted, sounding distressed. Scott took a bite of his sandwich for a pause, and swallowed.

“I think so. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know… she’s just been acting… not right. She doesn’t call or text me during the day like she used to, and when I see her on weekends she’s weird. She either is on the constant look for food or won’t touch it when we go out, and acts sad or frustrated, and sometimes ignores me altogether when I point it out.”

“Honey, I really don’t know what to tell you,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I think she’s just… changed. Maybe she finally learned how to get over you going to college.”

He said it, but even Scott knew that even after ten years, his Lucille wouldn’t get over Maria being away from her. Truth is, he noticed that she was different too, but didn’t want to admit it. She seemed colder, more distant, and, like Maria pointed out, looking for food and displeased when she was barred from it. The only other time he could remember her like that was when she was pregnant, and there’s no way she had another baby in her. Sometimes she just dodged eating with him altogether, which he couldn’t figure out either. He explained this all to Maria, and they both fell silent, not knowing what to do about it.

“Has Mama been… sick recently?” she asked.

“Well… I’ve seen her throw up here and there. Too frequently to be a coincidence and too sporadically to be with some purpose that I can see. Her stomach is also in pain every time I see her, and she insists it’s fine. Honey, I honestly don’t know what to do about her.”

“Have you taken her to the doctor’s?”

“She won’t leave the house anymore really unless it’s with you, or to go get food. I-” Scott rubbed his eyes. “I’m scared for your mother, Maria. I don’t know what she’s gotten herself into, but she won’t tell me.”

“Dad.”

“Yeah, honey?”

“Don’t worry about Mama. Take care of your job.”

“Maria, I-”

“I’ll get her help,” Maria insisted. “I’ll get some people to see her during the day so she’s not alone. How does that sound?”

“It sounds like what she needs… but-”

“Scott, get over here,” called a coworker. “Your lunch ended like a couple minutes ago!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey,” Scott sighed, checking the time. “I have to-”

“It’s alright, Dad,” she said. “I’ll take care of her.”

With that, the two of them hung up. Scott scarfed down the rest of his lunch, and rushed over to the coworker who needed him. Maria sighed as she put her phone back in her pocket. She was going to ask Sophie if they could go see someone together.

*   *   *   *   *

Diane and Robin were sitting across from Sophie and Maria while the four of them sat at a table under an umbrella at a small cafe. Sophie had convinced them that it was good to have a girl’s day out on a Saturday. It almost stung to Maria that Lucille didn’t even attempt to protest or ask to come along when she told her about canceling her weekly visit. Though, Maria asked Sophie to arrange this, and needed to ask Diane something.

“Um, Mrs. Coutiere?” Maria asked.

“Yeah?” Diane answered, poking her tongue through the hole in her bagel to make Robin laugh. Sophie groaned and tried to not look affiliated to the passing people.

“Have you heard from Mama in a while?”

“Lucille?” Diane said, taking a bite from the bagel. “I… don’t know.” She turned to Robin. “How long has it been since she asked to spend a weekend with us?”

“I dunno,” shrugged Robin, eating a crescent roll. “And I don’t really care, honestly. A bit nice not having her piggyback on everything we do.” She turned to Maria. “No offense.”

“No, no I know the feeling,” she said, nodding her head. “I think whenever Sophie and I went on a date, she followed us.”

“She came to my house to ‘hang out’ one time,” smirked Robin. “I wouldn’t let her in and she tried crawling through the doggy door but wouldn’t fit. It was bloody hilarious.”

“When was that?” Diane asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A little over a year ago.”

“Did you get a picture?”

“I got a whole video.”

“Ahem,” Maria cleared her throat, grabbing their attention again.

“Oh yeah, sorry,” Diane apologized before leaning over to Robin and whispering. “Send me that later.”

“I’ll put it on a bloody TV for you.”

“So neither of you have heard from Mama in a while?” Maria asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” the two women said together.

“Is there something wrong?” Diane asked, sensing something wasn’t right with Maria. She was fidgety the whole time and had drank like three coffees with her one blueberry muffin and Diane was afraid she wasn’t going to sleep for days if she kept this rate.

“Mama hasn’t been acting right,” she explained. “For a few months.”

Maria explained to them Lucille’s recent behavior. How off it seemed to her, and how it scared her and her dad. When she explained her mom’s eating habits, and her getting sick and having constant stomach pain, Diane froze for a second before finishing her food.

“Can you take her to a doctor?” she asked.

“Mom, she said her mom wouldn’t go to the doctor,” Sophie said. “She wants you to go over and check on her because you’re her only friends.”

“Is that right?” Diane asked. Maria nodded.

“Ok, listen,” Robin said, getting serious. “Maria, you’re basically a niece to me now, and you’re a sweet kid. Your mother is not a sweet woman though. I don’t think she needs our help.”

“Robin…” Diane pushed, giving her a look.

“What? We don’t owe her anything! She ruined your-”

“She didn’t ruin my life,” Diane interrupted. “I made my own choices.”

“Well she sure didn’t bloody help,” Robin scorned, folding her arms. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Please,” Maria begged. “You don’t have to stay for long. Just make sure she’s being safe while she’s alone.”

“Get a nanny cam then,” Robin suggested.

“Aunt Robin,” Sophie said, looking a bit annoyed at how she was acting towards her girlfriend. “Play nice, please.”

“Fine, we can drop by. Only because I want to rub that video of her in her face again. And I want to see how much she’s put on by now and be smug about that too.”

"Jesus Robin," Diane said, raising an eyebrow. "When did you get like this?"

“Might’ve gotten a bit cynical.”

“I think you came out that way.”

“Thank you,” Maria said, getting up and walking over to give Robin a hug. Robin couldn’t resist and returned it. It took a lot of willpower to refuse Maria’s hugs.