TW: Displays of homophobia and a panic attack

If it was at all possible, I felt even worse the day after our date. Waking up to my blaring alarm clock in my cold bed the next morning with a stomach full of dread for the day in front of me was not how I thought I'd be waking up on Wednesday. 

Shoving my red comforter off of my body, I began getting ready for this wretched day. 

Maybe I'm being over dramatic. Maybe it won't be so bad. 

A boy can only hope.

Turns out, trying to avoid Dominic Fuller—the jock of the school—and Malcom Shoney—my best friend—was not as easy as I had hoped. 

I was avoiding Dominic for obvious reasons, but Malcom? I didn't want to face him, I was too scared I'd break down and tell him everything. 

I really don't need to hear an 'I told you so' right now. 

I somehow managed, though, to avoid them both—mainly by walking in the opposite direction whenever I caught sight of either of them, but it worked.

I didn't think Dominic would approach me, but that didn't mean I wanted to see him. I didn't want to admit to anyone just how much seeing his true colors hurt. I really liked him and I genuinely thought the date was going to go well, but I was sorely mistaken. 

The end of school couldn't have come any slower, yet soon enough I was behind The Arcade's counter, serving a bunch of snotty kids their pizzas and game tokens. 

"You good, Man? You seem out of it today." Jean broke me out of my stupor, asking the question I'd already heard enough of that day.

"Yep." Was exactly how I replied to it every time. Thankfully, Jean dropped it and we carried on with our jobs.

By the end of my shift, I had decided I couldn't hold in my internal anguish any longer and sent my last resort a DM over Instagram. 

ME: Hey, are you available for a call right now?

Nat: U good? Give me a minute, I'll call u.

She stayed true to her word and only a minute later I received an incoming call from none other than Natalie Vasquez.

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Luca. Is everything alright?" Natalie's nasally voice reached me through the phone.

"Actually, no. . .can I talk to you?" I bit my bottom lip.

"Sure, what's up?"

And so, I told her everything. 

This time, I woke up feeling lighter. Like I could finally breathe again after getting everything off my chest. 

At first, I was nervous Natalie would be envious of me after hearing about my date with Dominic, but she was quick to reassure me. She said she was glad to know the type of guy Dominic was before making any sort of move on him. 

After I got myself ready, I made my way down the stairs.

Relief flooded my system when I noticed that Lena had already made her way downstairs. 

"Hey, Little Monster. How'd you sleep?" I asked, patting her messy blonde hair down and taking a seat next to her at the kitchen island. 

"Great! Can we go to the arcade later?!" She squeaked, taking a big bite of pancakes. Oh, Mom already made her breakfast this morning?

"Not today, maybe next weekend, okay?"

"Okay!" She happily replied, finishing off her pancakes and rushing upstairs to get ready for school. 

"Sweetheart, have some pancakes, will you? I also made some bacon and sausage here, too, if that sounds good." Mom's voice rang through the kitchen, causing me to look over and I spotted her in the pantry. She seemed to be reorganizing it.

Is she happy today? Mom is an oddball, unlike other people who organize or clean when they're stressed, my mom does that when she's in a good mood. 

"Sure, that sounds great." I wasted no time in digging in to the handmade breakfast, relishing in it as I wasn't sure if it would become a normal thing in our house. I wish. 

"Honey, where are you!?" Choking, I almost fell out of my chair at how my dad addressed Mom. Honey? I haven't heard him call her that in ages. 

Dad walked into the kitchen, patting my head along the way, to where Mom was and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She got all flustered and started giggling. What the fuck is happening?

Raising a brow, I questioned them, "Um, what is going on?"

"What do you mean? Now, you better hurry up and get ready for school. You're taking Lisa today, as well. Your father and I want some time to ourselves." I decided not to question them further, seeing both of their unusually bright smiles was enough for me. 

Today is going to be a good day. 

I had expected today to go roughly the same as it did yesterday. Avoiding Dominic, turning in homework, completing tests that I probably forgot to study for. The usual. 

The only thing I knew that was going to be different was Malcom. I couldn't keep avoiding him. Did I want to tell him about my shitty date with Dominic? No. But, I wanted my best friend back and he never did anything wrong, so I was going to apologize to him today.

The heavy blue doors of my school slammed shut behind me as I entered the blue and white painted interior. I had my earbuds in, listening to a Billie Eilish playlist as I made my way to my locker. 

I was too busy looking at my feet as I walked to notice the heads turning in my direction. 

I wasn't even at my locker yet when I noticed it. Noticed the spray paint that covered my once pristine white locker. 

'Faggot'

'Homo"

'Fairy'

All of my rational thinking went out the window at that moment and the only thing I could think of was, Where is Malcom?

I didn't bother looking at my peers, but I couldn't help but notice the pictures hanging all throughout the halls. Pictures of Dominic and I on our date. 

I wanted to cry, so instead I started ripping the papers off the walls and tossed them into the trash. Who could do something like this?!

I couldn't look at this public humiliation any longer, and I just started running. 

I spotted Malcom not too far down from where I was, tearing down even more pictures of Dominic and I. He looked furious. 

The worst part about all of this was, those pictures didn't even mean anything. We just looked like two guys eating dinner together, almost like friends. No one would even be able to tell we were on a date without someone else informing them. I tried not to think about that, though. 

"Malcom!" I could already feel the sting behind my eyes as I held back the waterfall. I don't need any more humiliation today. 

Malcom looked at me and his expression immediately softened into one of full blown concern, running to me and engulfing me in a hug. 

"How is this"—hic—"happening?" Oh, I'm crying?

"I don't know, Lu. I'm so sorry."

Sniffle.

Why are you apologizing? It. . .it's not your fault. I should have listened to you!" I shoved my face into the crook of Malcom's neck and cried. At some point, Malcom hoisted me up and started walking. Probably to the bathroom, to keep curious onlookers out of our business. 

"No, Lu. Don't say that. There was no way to know this would happen. Just let it out, okay?" Malcom's voice was soft against my ear and I held onto him tighter, hoping all of this was just some nightmare that I would wake up from if I just held on to Malcom. 

If I just don't let go.