It was late afternoon by the time they finally started seeing signs of civilisation again, starting with a herd of cows grazing lazily before shifting into endless fields of crops.
“Mandarins!” Hamish announced as the road led them through endless rows of short, bushy trees, and a moment later he was off his horse and climbing a low fence.
“We might as well take a break,” Simon said as he watched Hamish raid the orchard. He climbed off the horse before helping Danya down as well.
Danya’s legs felt stiff and most of his body stung or ached, but standing next to Simon along the side of the road he felt strangely at peace. Things had been difficult over the last few days, and once they reached the camp they would probably become hectic again, but in this small moment they were okay.
“I wanted to apologise to you for how I treated you,” Simon said. His eyes were on Hamish, who had made a pouch out of his shirt that he was bundling mandarins into. “I was angry and I didn’t know what to do, and I handled the situation poorly.”
Danya didn’t know what to say. He didn’t quite understand the role Simon now expected him to take. “It’s okay.”
“It’s really not. I know I scared you with that knife.”
“Ah.” Danya nudged a rock on the dirt road with the toe of his shoe. “I understood why you did it. I needed to be reminded not to be such a nuisance.”
Simon shook his head and looked away. “No, it wasn’t like that. I just…” He sighed. “They’d collared you like an animal. I couldn’t stop thinking about what they’d intended for you, and then you were saying—” Simon scratched his fingers through his hair. “Anyway, I just wanted to get it off.”
“It had a clasp,” Danya pointed out. He hoped it didn’t sound too much like an admonishment.
Simon winced. “Yeah, that occurred to me when I was like half way towards you with a knife in my hand, but I thought if I backed down you might realise what was really going on with me. It was stupid. I know that. Hamish is better at dealing with people.”
“He does seem to have a diplomatic way about him.”
Simon made a sound of agreement. “Listen, when we get back to camp, we can arrange for you to stay with him instead. Everyone knows I’m not very social so it wouldn’t look suspicious.”
“Okay,” Danya said carefully. He did his best to keep his expression and tone neutral, but his heart was hammering hard in his chest and he felt sick and so tired. Just as he was starting to feel like the two of them might have something between them, Simon was pushing him away.
“What’s up? You don’t sound thrilled with the idea.”
“I am happy to go wherever is most convenient for you.” Which was a damned lie. He belonged to Simon and he wanted to be as close to Simon as he was permitted, but he knew better than to say so.
Simon sighed. “Danya, please just be straightforward and honest with me.”
Danya grimaced and looked away. He doubted Simon would like the truth, but he had insisted upon it. “I’m yours, not Hamish’s. I will go wherever you ask, but I would prefer to stay with my master.”
Simon groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. “Danya…”
Danya clenched his hands in his robe and looked down at the ground. He had known this wouldn’t be well received, but what was he supposed to say? He couldn’t force his feelings on the matter to change.
Simon made a sound of frustration, paced a couple of steps away, and then walked back to Danya. “I don’t like that you think of it in those terms, but that’s not your fault. I just don’t understand how you could not want to get as far away from all that as possible.”
Danya shrugged and kept his eyes down. He was too afraid of rejection to try to explain how right Simon’s energy made him feel or how deeply he wanted a master who treasured him after a lifetime of being told he was inferior.
Simon jumped as a mandarin bounced off of his chest.
“What are you messing up now?” Hamish asked as he came back to join them with his shirt bundled full of mandarins.
“What? Nothing.” Simon glanced at Danya’s face. “Okay, probably everything, which is why I offered to let him stay with you instead. He doesn’t want to, though, so whatever.”
“A wise choice.” Hamish handed Danya several mandarins. “Simon has a better tent than me.”
“Yeah, but I’m an asshole,” Simon pointed out.
Hamish threw another mandarin at Simon, and this time he caught it. “Try not being an asshole.”
“Genius. Why didn’t I ever think of that?”
“I know, right?” Hamish gave Danya a smile. “The secret of dealing with Simon is not putting up with any of his bullshit.”
“I am his property,” Danya pointed out.
When Simon made a sound of annoyance, Hamish smacked him in the face without looking away from Danya. “True. That doesn’t matter to him, but it puts you in a difficult position. Still, I just want you to remember that if you tell him to stop doing something because it’s hurting you, he will.”
“Wow, what exactly do you expect me to do to the poor boy?” Simon asked.
“I expect you to not want to listen to what he’s telling you because the reality of his experiences makes you uncomfortable, and then get frustrated because he stops telling you shit.”
“See, this is why you’re a good friend. Who else would be willing to brutally murder me with this kind of honesty?”
“Honesty is the best policy, I’ve found, except when it comes to telling men who are insecure about their sexualities that you want to suck their dicks.”
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