Cooper showered, blow dried and rubbed some product through his hair, and dressed in some black jeans and a red, long sleeved button up shirt. That was about as formal as his wardrobe got these days.

Nobody had come to get them to leave for dinner yet, so Cooper and Mason sat down on the sofa together and Mason showed Cooper the latest build of his fitness app. Cooper didn’t know anything about coding or, particularly, fitness, but Mason always seemed interested to hear his feedback. He did use the app to track his jogging, so he supposed he could offer a user’s perspective.

It was Logan who eventually came to get them. “Time to go. Do you want to go with mum and dad in dad’s car or come with me and Bianca?”

Mason raised his eyebrows. “How is that even a question?”

“I’ve been reading parenting books. They say that when you want a kid to do something they don’t want to do, it can help to offer them some kind of choice.”

“Well, thanks for the artificial feeling of empowerment, I guess.” Mason hauled himself off the sofa. “Let’s get this over with.”

Upstairs, their mum and dad were standing with a woman who Cooper could only assume was Bianca. He hadn’t really known how pregnant a woman looked at four months along, but the answer seemed to be about pregnant enough that he might have missed it if he hadn’t been looking but could definitely tell since he was.

Cooper’s mum was saying something to her, and Cooper could tell from the fixed smile on Bianca’s face that she was not having a good time. Her eyes darted to Logan, begging for help.

He went to her right away, his hand finding hers and his eyes locking on her face. Cooper had wondered whether Logan really wanted to marry her or if he was just doing it because it was what their parents expected, but then Logan’s face softened, and he smiled, and there was no question. He’d never seen his brother look at anyone like that before.

“Oh, Bianca,” Logan said as Cooper and Mason walked over to join the group. “This is my little brother, Cooper.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Cooper said, and then very deliberately shut his mouth there because his brain wouldn’t stop throwing inappropriate things at him like I hear that you’re pregnant. 

The smile Bianca gave him was far more genuine than the one she’d plastered on her face for Cooper’s mum. “It’s nice to meet you, too! Logan’s told me a lot about you.”

“Is that… a good thing? I can’t imagine there are many good things he’d have to say about me.”

Cooper hadn’t really meant that as a call out or anything. Just, like, they hadn’t seen much of one another since Logan had moved out. Cooper had been a struggling teenager at the time, and Logan had never acted like he saw him as anything but lazy and annoying. If he’d tried to guess at what Logan might tell someone about him, he would have thought something about him being directionless and doing nothing with his life. Certainly nothing good.

But the look that passed between Logan and Bianca made him wonder if maybe it hadn’t been like that. He didn’t quite know how to interpret it, but it was like there was a tender point there that she had known to look out for.

The moment passed without comment, though. Whatever it was, they all knew better than to open up and share their feelings in front of mum and dad.

They headed out to the cars and got into Logan’s. Bianca sat up front with Logan and Mason and Cooper sat in the back.

“So, have you guys got any baby name ideas yet?” Mason asked as Logan started the car.

“We’re not set on anything particular just yet, but we have a strategy worked out,” Bianca said. “See, we don’t want anything too common because we don’t want her to have to share her name with too many other kids, but we also don’t want something that might be seen as weird or people might not know how to spell or pronounce. So we have a list of the top one hundred baby names for girls in Australia and we’re looking at all the names between fifty and one hundred.”

“You have to make sure you specify that you want the Australian list,” Logan added.
“If you don’t, when you search it up you’ll get the American list, and they can be a bit different.”

“Wow. I never knew it was so complicated,” Cooper commented.

“Naming things is hard,” Mason said. “I should know. I’ve named multiple apps which, if anything, is harder, because you have to worry about branding and copyright and all that bullshit.”

“True, but I hope our child will have a longer lifetime than your apps,” Bianca countered. “Technology tends to be fleeting.”

“It is a constant battle for relevancy,” Mason agreed.

“But yeah, we don’t really have the whole name thing figured out yet,” Logan said. “We’re just hoping she’s not born prematurely while we figure it out. I mean, for many reasons, and especially at this point because I don’t think babies are viable at four months. We have a few middle name ideas, but nothing’s decided just yet.”

“I see, I see,” Mason said. “Do you ever think about how there’s this creature growing inside of you, feeding from you like a parasite, and get freaked out?”

“Oh hey look at that, we’re at the restaurant,” Logan said as he pulled into a parking lot. “We’d better stop all conversation immediately so that we can get out of the car.”

Bianca laughed. “The idea of pregnancy always seemed a little strange to me, but it’s different when it’s your baby. Or at least a baby that you want. I imagine it would be different if you weren’t given a choice. Logan was very clear from the start that he would support whatever I decided.”

Mason got out of the car and watched as Logan opened the door for Bianca and helped her out. He shook his head. “Man, Logan, you’ve changed. Which is a good thing, because you used to be a massive douchebag.”

Logan shrugged. “We’ve all changed, though, right? You used to be really depressed.”

“And now I’m only moderately depressed! And Cooper used to be studying at university and in a long term relationship, and look at him now. Actually kind of happy and fulfilled.”

“I always thought things would only get worse for me, though I don’t really know why,” Cooper said. “Things were so shitty that it wasn’t hard for them to become better.”

“Well, I mean, mum and dad basically told you that things would only get worse by convincing you that the plans they had for you were your only option,” Mason pointed out. “I assumed Logan was still drinking the Kool Aid, but maybe he just really fucking loves accounting or whatever the fuck his job is.”

“Accounting is the general field I work in and what I got my degree in, not my job title, but sure,” Logan said. “It’s fine and I make good money. At the end of the day, it’s a job. It doesn’t have to be fun.”

“Fucking weird,” Mason said. “I can’t imagine living like that. Spending my life doing something I’m not that interested in just for money. Sounds like a nightmare.”

They’d reached the front of the restaurant and their parents weren’t there yet, so Cooper leant against a wall while they waited. “Agreed.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the normal one here, like usual,” Logan said.

“Hmm… I don’t know, babe,” Bianca said. “I like my job. Seems like you’re the odd one out here.”

“What’s your job?” Cooper asked.

“I’m a veterinarian.”

Cooper took a slow, deep breath in, his eyes going wide. “I like animals.”

Bianca smiled. “I know. Logan told me.”

Cooper was actually a little surprised that Logan knew that about him. He wasn’t exactly subtle about his love of animals, sure, but Logan had never given the impression he much cared what Cooper was interested in.

“Do you know any animal facts?”

Logan groaned, though it didn’t sound genuine. He remembered the animal facts, then, even though he’d moved out before Cooper had gotten into them and Cooper had never really shared them with him. He must have listened in on Cooper telling them to Mason at some point. Or maybe Cooper’s ex-girlfriend. She’d come to family events when they were dating. She’d gotten on fairly well with Cooper’s mum, which in retrospect should have been a red flag.

“I do. I spent a long time thinking up one I thought you might not know. Puppies are deaf for about the first three weeks of their life.”

“So if I cooed at them and told them how much I loved them in a high pitched voice they wouldn’t even be able to hear me?”

“Not when they’re newborns, no. They’re just blind, deaf little nuggets. But they can feel the cuddles and they can certainly smell you.”

“Aww. I actually don’t mind living in the world’s tiniest apartment with two other people for the most part, but it sucks that we can’t have pets. Both, like, because of apartment rules and because of ethics. I think I would be a fantastic dog father.”

“Ugh,” Mason said, glaring as he watched their dad’s car turn into the parking lot. “Time for more bullshit.”

“We’ll just get through this dinner, and then mum implied that she wants us to go shopping tomorrow without her,” Logan said. “Maybe we can make a day of it and actually have some fun.”

“I mean fuck it, sure, I’ll do my best, but I think what really messes with me is that I could just walk down the street to a McDonald’s right now and I’d have a much less fucking stressful mealtime and I’m pretty sure the only reason I don’t is that I’ve been conditioned to at least sort of obey and pretend to respect my parents,” Mason said. “They have literally no fucking power over any of us, yet I’m not going to have chicken nuggets for dinner. How fucked up is that?”

“I don’t think that’s why you’re doing it at all,” Logan said. “I think you’re doing it for me, and I appreciate that.”

“Huh.” Mason stopped and thought for a moment. “You know, I think you’re right. I feel much better. Let’s get through this fucking dinner.”

The dinner ended up being just as painful as Cooper had been expecting. They’d ordered two bottles of wine for the table, but then they’d realised Cooper’s dad had already had some whiskey earlier so he shouldn’t drink more because he wanted to drive, and Bianca obviously shouldn’t drink because of the baby, and then Logan didn’t want to drink either because Bianca couldn’t and because he was driving. Which left a lot of wine for the rest of them, and really mostly just Cooper and Mason because their mum only wanted one glass.

So Mason and Cooper had sat together and, in a whispered conversation, come up with the rules for a drinking game. Cooper was kind with his rule suggestion, that they must drink every time their dad spoke at all. That hadn’t caused them too much trouble, besides initiating more than one debate over whether or not some sound of acknowledgement he’d made counted as speaking.

It was Mason’s rule that really got them smashed: whenever their mum criticised someone, they both had to drink. Sometimes she’d do it so rapid fire that they’d still be in the middle of drinking when she did it again. There had been other rules, but those were the only ones Cooper remembered by the time they left the restaurant and headed back to the lake house.

Mason was a sleepy drunk, so he fell asleep on the drive home. Cooper was a social drunk, so he already had his phone out and a text message open to Sasha. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say. He just deeply missed him.

So, that was what he ended up sending.

I miss you.

Sasha didn’t reply straight away. He never did, but it felt especially weighty this time. Maybe he was weirded out or maybe he’d gone to bed early or maybe he was just thinking what to say. Or maybe these conversations they had weren’t nearly as important to him as they were to Cooper and he’d heard his phone chime and simply couldn’t be bothered to reply right away.

They arrived back at the lake house and everyone else went to bed, but Cooper wasn’t tired. He felt a little like crying, though he wasn’t quite sure why. Was he lonely? Overwhelmed? Drunk? Probably mostly that last one, actually.

He was just about to get into bed with the intention of trying to get some sleep when his phone rang.

He had expected it to be Ellie or Abra, checking in on him. They’d exchanged a few texts back and forth, but it wouldn’t have been unusual for them to give him a call as well. The last thing he’d expected was to see Sasha’s name on the screen.

Was it an accidental call? Cooper waited a few seconds to see if Sasha would hang up, but his phone kept ringing.

Cooper answered the call. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Sasha said back. “Um, how are you?”

“Oh, uh,” Cooper lay down on the bed and grabbed the second pillow to hug against his chest. “Well, you know. Kinda drunk, actually.”

“Oh,” Sasha said. “I’ve never been drunk before.”

“Have you ever had alcohol?”

“A little bit that my parents gave me to try. I think they were smart about it, though, and gave me bad tasting alcohol because they knew it would make me not want to drink it. Or maybe all alcohol just tastes bad. I don’t know.”

“Nah. Some pretty much doesn’t even taste like alcohol.”

“Oh. Well, I’ve never gone to any parties anyway, so it’s not like I’d have any opportunities to drink.”

“Do you want to try it?”

“I’m a little curious what it’s like, but I don’t really go anywhere that I could buy it.”

“I could get some and bring it over for date night if you want. Something that doesn’t taste bad.”

“Okay.”

“Sounds good.” Cooper groaned and rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms tighter around the pillow. “Won’t be for another week, though, because I missed this week. Fuck.”

“As soon as I get home?”

“Well, I mean, if you want to. But you probably wouldn’t want to come over right after you just got back.”

“I do,” Cooper swallowed around a lump in his throat. “I miss you.”

Sasha was silent for a moment before he whispered back, “I miss you, too.”

Fuck, that struck somewhere deep in Cooper’s gut. He felt like crying, which was ridiculous and over dramatic. He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, making sure his voice wouldn’t shake before speaking again. “I’ll text you Sunday morning whenever we head out and let you know when abouts I’ll be back, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

A tear escaped Cooper’s eye and trickled down his cheek, but he was smiling. “Okay, I’ll let you go now. You have a good night, okay?”

“Yeah, you too. Goodnight, Cooper.”

“Goodnight.”

Cooper hung up, curled into a ball on the bed, and let himself cry. Fuck, he was a mess.