A few days later, Gabe was sitting around in the living room after dinner with the girls, looking for something to watch.
“Firefly?” Gabe suggested as Bee scrolled through their options.
“Firefly!” Sophie echoed. “Yes!”
“We were waiting to watch it with Trist because he hasn’t seen it yet, but…” Bee looked towards the hallway. “I don’t know if we’re going to be able to convince him to come out and watch it with us. I’ve hardly seen him in days.”
“At least he’s not going out all the time anymore and he’s talking to me now, but yeah, he hasn’t exactly been leaving our room a whole lot,” Gabe said.
“Yeah, since he came out,” Sophie said. “But I don’t get why. It’s not like he doesn’t one hundred percent know we’re not homophobic. What’s he afraid of?”
“I don’t think it’s anything specific or personal,” Gabe said. “Just his own anxieties around the whole thing. Like being scared of a puppy because a big dog once bit you.”
Sophie sighed deeply. “But I want our boy back.”
Gabe got up. “I’ll go see if I can lure him out with Firefly.”
When Gabe entered the bedroom, Trist was lying on his bed reading a book. He glanced up at Gabe and then returned to reading.
“Trist…”
Trist didn’t bother looking up again. “Mm?”
“Do you want to come watch Firefly with us?”
“Nah.”
“I want to watch it and the girls said you were waiting to watch it together because you haven’t seen it yet.”
“It’s fine. You can watch it without me.”
Gabe sighed. He didn’t want to watch it without Trist, but things were finally okay between them and he didn’t want to push, so he just left the room and returned to the girls.
Gabe flopped back down on the couch and stretched out dramatically. “He said to watch it without him, but I don’t want to.”
“Okay,” Bee said as she stood. “This has gone on long enough. I’m going to go and talk to him.”
Gabe rolled his head to look at her. “Good luck.”
Sophie watched her leave the room and then turned to Gabe. “This might take a while. Want to watch some Adventure Time while we wait?”
“Yes. Yes I do.”
Three episodes of Adventure Time later, Bee reappeared through the doorway with Trist reluctantly trailing behind her.
Trist sat down on the end of the couch Gabe was sitting on without acknowledging any of them. Gabe leant slightly towards Trist, watching for any sign he was welcome. The second Trist lifted his arm, Gabe tucked himself underneath it. Sophie was watching them as Gabe settled in against Trist’s chest, but she didn’t comment.
“Okay, boys, it’s Firefly time,” Sophie said as she pressed play on the first episode.
Two and a half episodes later, Bee was yawning uncontrollably and seemed to be struggling to keep her eyes open.
Finally, Sophie stood up, wrapped her arms under Bee’s, and hauled her to her feet. “Come on. Bed time.”
“But Firefly,” Bee murmured.
“You’ve seen it before and you’re not even really watching it now.”
“Mm,” Bee conceded, and allowed herself to be led away.
As soon as they’d disappeared down the hall, and without taking his eyes off the screen, Trist’s hand moved to Gabe’s hip. Gabe’s entire body was suddenly on high alert, his breathing slightly faster. He leant his head back so that he could see Trist’s face, and Trist took the opportunity to plant a kiss on the bit of Gabe’s forehead he could reach.
Gabe rolled over, half on top of Trist, and pressed a tentative kiss against Trist’s lips. They hadn’t really fooled around again since that first night. Gabe was shy about initiating things and Trist seemed reluctant after Gabe had called a stop to what they were doing last time.
But there was no reluctance now, from either of them. Trist pressed rapid, firm kisses against Gabe’s lips and then slipped his tongue into his mouth, one hand fisting in Gabe’s shirt and the other stroking down Gabe’s back.
Gabe pulled away before things got too heated. “Let’s go back to our room?”
Trist nodded. He looked beautiful with his pupils blown and his hair even more tousled than usual.
As soon as they were back in their room with the door shut, Gabe backed up until he was pressed against a wall with Trist’s body flush against his. Gabe wanted to grind against Trist, but the height difference made the angle difficult. Trist pushed a knee between his legs to help him out.
“This okay?” Trist asked as his mouth explored Gabe’s throat.
Gabe nodded. “Mm.”
Trist’s hand slipped down to find the button on Gabe’s jeans. “This?”
“Yeah,” Gabe breathed, and Trist popped the button open.
“Mm?” Trist inquired as he slowly pulled the zipper on Gabe’s jeans down.
“Mmhm,” Gabe confirmed.
Gabe let out a shaky breath as Trist’s hand slipped inside his jeans and squeezed him through his boxer briefs. God, those hands knew what they were doing. All he could do was cling to Trist and breathe against his shoulder.
Trist pulled Gabe back a step away from the wall, and Gabe was so distracted by what the hand in his pants was doing that he didn’t notice Trist’s other hand tugging his shirt up until it was halfway off.
Trist froze the second he felt Gabe lean away from the contact. He sought out Gabe’s eyes with his own, but Gabe couldn’t meet his gaze. Trist’s hand slid out of Gabe’s pants and he let his shirt drop back down.
“It’s your shirt, isn’t it?” Trist asked after a long moment of silence. “It was last time, too. Not about other things going too far. I had my hand down your pants and you were more than fine with it, but the second I started pulling your shirt up...”
Gabe nodded. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at Trist. “I just… prefer to keep it on.”
“Okay. I mean… okay. But… why?”
“I think you know why.”
Trist was silent for a moment. His fingers brushed against Gabe’s wrist and then pulled away again. “Is this about the drawing?”
Surprise drew Gabe’s eyes back up to meet Trist’s. He’d never looked so vulnerable. He’d never let Gabe see him this vulnerable before. And God, Gabe could relate. He felt so raw, so exposed.
“No. It’s not— it wasn’t the drawing, Trist. It’s just, you know.” Gabe gestured vaguely towards his back. “The whole thing.”
“Does it still hurt? I was trying to be gentle, but—”
“No. No, you didn’t—it’s not—you didn’t do anything. It’s just gross and ugly and not sexy. So.”
“You don’t want me to see it again?”
Gabe nodded and stared down at his feet. His throat felt tight.
“Are you sure this isn’t because of the drawing? I wasn’t trying to be weird, I just… it helps sometimes, to put the things in my head down on paper.”
“No, Trist. That was fine. If anything it made me feel a little better, because it didn’t look disgusting in your picture.”
“That’s just how it looked to me. I don’t think it looks gross or anything.”
“Mm.”
“I mean it. If you’re not comfortable taking your shirt off, that’s fine. After what you went through, and having your body changed like that, I guess I get having a pretty negative relationship with it. But your feelings about it are yours, not mine. Okay? I love your body, and this is the only version of it I’ve ever known.”
“Mm,” Gabe said again, grabbing a fistful of the bottom of Trist’s shirt and twisting it in his hand. Trist deserved a proper response, but Gabe’s throat felt tight and he didn’t think he could speak just then.
“Come on, let’s go lay down.”
Gabe had assumed he’d meant for them to continue things on the bed, but once they’d climbed on, Trist gently guided Gabe’s head so that it was resting on his collarbone and wrapped an arm around him. Oh.
A few seconds ago, he’d thought he’d wanted Trist to shove his hand back down his pants, but now that they were doing this instead he found himself oddly relieved. He yawned and stretched. Trist coiled Gabe’s light auburn hair that was as straight as he wasn’t into curls around his fingers, but it sprung back into its original state the second he let it go.
The sleep fog that had slowly enveloped Gabe’s brain left him confused by the scratching sound coming from the bedroom door. He made a sound of protest and reached out when Trist gently extracted himself and got up. Trist opened the door to let Sadie in.
A full body yawn that left his eyes watering overtook Gabe as he watched Trist shed his shirt. Nice, his sleepy brain provided. He kicked his jeans the rest of the way off as Trist shed his own pants.
Trist deposited Sadie onto the end of the bed, then he went and switched the light off.
And then he was back, mostly naked, and arranging their bodies into a comfortable position through touch alone.
Gabe was pretty sure these bunk beds were intended for children. Single beds, small for even one person. Fitting two and a dog was like a warm, fleshy game of Tetris.
But Gabe didn’t care if it was cramped or way too hot. If he’d slept through the pain of his shredded back, he could sleep through this.
He let the gentle rise and fall of Trist’s chest relax him into sleep.
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