Chapter Twenty

The Thebes 

The army of Thebes were finally brought to Camelot, their generals immediately met for a meeting with Arthur and his generals. 

“What are we expected to do in this war?” One asked as they all stood in the war room. 

Arthur was pacing but stopped. “We are all expected to work together and end this war. Preferably with all of us still alive.” 

The man scoffed. “You are very young your highness, do you really expect these two neighboring armies to be capable of working together that well?” 

Arthur smiled. “I don’t only expect it, general. I require it. Our armies will merge together as one, my generals and yours will become the heads of the greatest army this world has ever seen.”

“That is expecting quite a lot from people who have been fighting each other for the past seven years.” One man said. 

“It is. But if we do not do this we will all die. So in the end, what choice do we have?” Arthur said. “If we can do this, if this works, we will be able to finally have peace and prosperity. This has never been your war, this has been about overtaking Camelot from jump. Now we can all be one unified Camelot.” 

“You’re suggesting that we merge kingdoms?” the general said. “And how do you suspect that will go. The heir to the country of Thebe is a child now, but soon he will grow, do you really think he will give up his birth right to stand with you?”

Arthur smiled and nodded. “I think he will. I have destiny on my side after all.” 

The Thebes general looked at Arthur before finally laughing. “You are very determined, your highness. That will serve you well.” He sighed and stood. “The Thebes will stand with you for this war, the rest will be up to you.” 

“I thank you.” Arthur reached for the man’s outstretched arm and nodded. “Baldrick, my servant will show you all to your chambers. You’ll stay here in the castle.”

“And my men?” 

“We’ve outfitted one of our stables to be a temporary space for your men until we can increase our land hold.” Arthur said. 

“You really have thought of everything.” The man said before glancing towards Merlin. “If I may be so bold. Do you really think it wise to use magic to win a war that was started with magic?” 

Arthur glanced towards Merlin as well. “My sorcerer’s magic is good, and far more powerful than any I’ve ever witnessed. He is also a pivotal piece of my own destiny. He will prove to be incredibly useful, I promise.” 

The man nodded before leaving the room. 

Arthur’s own general stood and took a breath. “Arthur, I know what you are trying to do here, but do be careful. The Thebes have many reasons to hate us that go back farther than your birth. It may prove harder to unite the kingdoms than you think.”

“We shall see.” Arthur said. He turned and left quickly after that. 

The general sighed and looked to Merlin. “If he’s planning a unity he will have to marry into the Thebes. I should begin looking at potential options. That will be the only true way to unite our Kingdoms.” 

Merlin said nothing, but his stomach plummeted to the ground. 

The general chuckled and pressed a rough hand to Merlin’s shoulder. “You are still very young, Merlin. It will not always hurt this badly.”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he said quickly.

“I am a very observant person you realize. And the way you watch him is not subtle.” He went to the door. “I do not think on it. He is my King, what he chooses to do in his off time is of no concern to me. However, this is my kingdom, where he chooses to end up is. If he is hellbent on unity with the Thebes he will have to form his own union. We must all sacrifice for the sake of Camelot.” 

“And his sacrifice…” Merlin said. 

“His sacrifice is you. He is realizing that slowly. He’s spent his entire life expecting you to be next to him. He spent an entire decade waiting for you to come back. Now you are here, and perhaps he hoped he could continue being reckless, but I believe he is starting to realize that being the King has its own responsibilities.” 

“He knows that.” Merlin said quietly. “He already expressed this to me.” 

“It is not easy. Loving someone like Arthur is quite painful, but you know his destiny better than most. You know what he must do.”

“The prophecy never said anything about him marrying a Thebe girl.” Merlin chuckled. 

“You are a funny one Merlin.” The general squeezed his shoulder once more before leaving. 

Merlin took a slow breath in before also leaving himself. He would force himself to be alright with this. He had to force himself to be alright with this. He glanced out towards the practice arena to see Thebe knights and Knights of Camelot standing at attention as Arthur spoke to them, Fentry and Gawain on either side of him. He walked towards his chambers. They were a welcome solitude after the multiple war meetings and planning sessions with Arthur and the generals. 

He flopped onto his bed and found himself falling into a rest. 

“Merlin,” he heard as someone shook him.

He blinked a couple of times to see Joan down at him. 

“Ah, Joan… apologies for my state. Had I known you were intending to visit.” He stood up and stepped away from his bed. 

“There is no need for such formality with me, Merlin. I wanted to speak with you privately, but I haven’t found time now with everything happening.” 

“How may I help you?” Merlin asked. 

“It’s about Arthur.” she admitted. “He hasn’t called on me in ages. I know the war is picking up, but… is he alright. I worry for him.” 

“There is a lot of pressure on his shoulders now, Joan. He has to grow up.” Merlin said turning his back to her with the excuse of starting tea. 

“I see. So it’s not because he’s falling madly in love with you again?” 

Merlin scoffed. “Again? Arthur has never…” he turned quickly. “How did you know anything about…”

Joan was smiling. “Merlin, I’ve known Arthur for a while now. Even when you were gone the way he’d talk about you was different. You matter more than anyone else. And then seeing you two together was enough to make anyone a bit uncomfortable. The sexual tension between you two is palpable.” 

“We’re not… we don’t…”

Joan’s laugh bubbled out of her in a truly lovely way that caused Merlin to smile as well. “Merlin, I do not care about such things. Arthur lights up when you’re in a room in a way I have never seen from him before.” she looked down. “I always knew that I would not be the one he ended up falling in love with. He has always belonged to someone else.” 

“You’re wrong… about him belonging to me at least. Arthur belongs to no one, he’s made that clear.” Merlin said. 

“No of course, he’s such a stubborn man, can’t imagine he’ll ever belong to anyone but himself. But…” Joan stood and walked closer. “The reason I’m here… the reason I bring it up at all. He is sad, I can see it, I know you can too. He needs you, Merlin.” 

“He doesn’t need me. He needs to win this war, he needs to survive.” Merlin said. 

“But he needs his friends around him to do that. And he needs you with him to do that.” Joan said. 

Merlin sighed. “Joan, I am a man. I bear no abilities to give him heirs, and I have no political gain. He will marry a Thebe girl to unify the Kingdoms. The plans are already being aligned for him. He does not need me anymore, not for this at least. He will always have me as a friend and as a partner, but that is where I must end things. It is far too painful otherwise. To love someone so fiercely knowing that they will never truly be yours to love.” 

“But doesn’t it hurt now to try so hard not to love him?” Joan asked.

“Does it hurt for you?” Merlin asked. 

Joan chuckled and looked down. “I never loved Arthur, Merlin. Not really at least. I loved the idea of sleeping with a king. I loved the life it allowed me. But Arthur and I were never meant to be anything special.” 

Merlin sighed and reached for his hand. “Neither are we, unfortunately, not like that at least. I’m not meant to love him either.” 

There was a knock at the door before it burst open. “Merlin, sorry to bother you. I need to go over this battle plan with y—“ Arthur paused and looked over at Joan leaning against Merlin’s table. “Oh, Joan. How are you my dear?” He stepped over and reached for her hand. “I apologize, I did not realize you were with company.” 

“It’s perfectly fine, Arthur.” Joan said taking the tea Merlin offered her. “I am far from important company. You two go over your plans. I will take my leave. Merlin, thank you for the tea, and the conversation.” 

Joan left smiling at both of them. Arthur waited until the door was shut before turning to Merlin. “I didn’t realize you were friendly with Joan.” 

“We are on good terms. She is kind and lovely company.” Merlin said. “Besides, the ex lovers of Camelot’s king must stick together.” 

Arthur chuckled, but it was pained. 

“You wanted to show me something?” Merlin asked pouring two more cups of tea. 

“Yes, I wanted to ask your opinion on this formation. I’m worried it’s a bit clunky round the middle.” Arthur laid out a large parchment in front of Merlin. “I intend to have the Thebes in the middle and back because I feel that is where our army is lacking.” 

Merlin forced his eyes to stay on the parchment in front of him. “I am not very skilled with battle formation on paper, but perhaps if you thinned out the back to bulk the middle more it would give a good buffer?” 

“Do you think?” Arthur said reaching for a quill and moving dots here and there. 

Merlin watched him before his mouth found a mind of its own. “Are you planning to marry a Thebe girl?” 

Arthur paused and put the quill down before finally meeting Merlin’s eyes. “I am not sure. It would be the most logical and sure fire way to unify our kingdoms.” 

Merlin nodded turning away quickly. He could not be distraught in front of Arthur. Their destinies were exactly as they had to be. Two hands wrapped around Merlin and Arthur’s head rested on his shoulder. 

“I do not want to though,” Arthur whispered. 

“Arthur.” Merlin warned. “Please don’t.” His fingers twitched to keep from wrapping around Arthur’s own fingers. 

The hands stayed for another moment before slowly moving away. “I am sorry. I just… I’m not ready to be done with this.” Merlin turned and looked at Arthur. “We’ve only just gotten each other back. Can we not be together for at least a while?” 

“And what about when you end things to be married to unify your kingdom, what happens to me then?” Merlin asked. 

Arthur sighed and looked down. “Can’t we just cross that bridge when we come to it?” 

“It is not fair to me, Arthur.” Merlin whispered, but his resolve was slipping. 

“I love you,” Arthur said all in one go. “I cannot let you go. Not yet at least. Please… please don’t ask me to again. It is killing me.” 

Merlin’s head was swimming. “You love me?” He whispered. 

Arthur swallowed before nodding. “I do.”