Ciaran's POV:
I have decided to renew my trust in Rowan, and it has been clear to him over the past few days.
He is a good man, who made a stupid mistake by taking out his fear on me, but I can tell that he deeply regrets it and was afraid of what I could do.
Since he professed his desire to make me his, I have been able to tell that he is wholly infatuated with me and is still sorry for what he did. He has not stopped touching my hands, wrapping his arms around me, showing me through affection that he is still feeling guilt for his reaction.
Yes, it was unfair for him to shut out my pleas for him to listen, but I should have told him much sooner that I was considered a prince, though I never got a real chance to play the part.
However, if things go how I hope they will with Rowan... maybe I will be able to be a prince again, or even a king? Not that it is my goal to be seen as royalty, but I would love the chance to take back Vayl from Vladimir and Daliah, to show my people there that I would fight for them, and to apologize for falling and never protecting them.
A fallen prince, I am, but I wish to amend that horrid title and take back the responsibility of protecting my people.
"Ciaran," Rowan says, making me look up at him as opposed to the storybook he let me borrow, as I haven't really read anything in years, but I do love books.
"Yes?" I ask.
Rowan smiles. "Nothing, I just like saying your name," he says, sitting down in front of the fire with me, opening my blanket up and dragging me into his side.
It is still snowing outside, and I love it. Later I will go out in it, but it is still early morning and I am terribly cold, so I am sitting in front of the fire, reading.
Rowan was asleep until now, but he must have woken up since it is late morning and we fell asleep early last night.
"Do you enjoy that book?" Rowan asks, and I nod with a soft smile on my face. "Good, because I have many novels and I have read them all, so it is nice to have someone to share my likes with."
I smile as he says that, closing the book. "I cannot wait until I get to read more," I say, resting my head on his shoulder and relaxing into his body as he wraps his arm around my waist.
Rowan rubs the skin under my shirt and pulls me tighter to him.
I used to be so afraid when it came to being touched by other people, but as I have lived with Rowan, I have been growing to enjoy the caresses and touches that he offers. They make me feel safe and wanted, which is a new but welcomed feeling.
"It has been snowing for a quite a while now," Rowan says, looking out the huge window that I opened when I woke up because the snowfall is gorgeous.
I hum in agreement. "It is beautiful," I say, warmth filling me. "May we go out there a bit later?"
Rowan nods. "During the first snowfall, Tyla, myself and often Jameson and Patrick, goes around the town and offers hot cider and milk to the people in town as a symbol of winter being here. It also is a nice way to help the parents warm themselves up when they have to deal with their children who run inside and demand to be held because they are cold," he says with a fond laugh. "I told Tyla we may not go this year, but if you would like to, we can go."
I love this idea, so I stand up and take Rowan's hand. "We cannot sit around here all day!" I exclaim, trying to pull him up, but Rowan is much bulkier than I, as he has actually stayed healthy and fed well his entire life.
Rowan chuckles at my eagerness and gets up, picking out clothes for both himself and I, since I have been give new clothes that are smaller than Rowan's, since I am only a bit shorter but I am much leaner.
We are both bundled up in a few minutes and we begin to head to the kitchen where Tyla is mixing a huge pot of cider and another of hot, steaming milk. They grin when we enter the kitchen, lifting one of the heavy pots onto a cart and covering the top with a lid.
"I knew you two would show up!" Tyla exclaims, handing us some small, metal cups to carry in leather bags. "Are you ready?!"
I find a large smile coming to my face, taking the metal cups and bag eagerly. "I'm so excited!" I shriek, before realizing how childish I should and shutting my mouth, and I am sure my face is bright red. "I mean... thank you for inviting me to join you... it is a true honor."
Rowan chuckles, the deep sound making me feel more embarrassed before he lays a comforting hand on the back of my neck. "Your excitement is beautiful to witness, Ciaran," he says, taking my hand. "Will Patrick and Jameson be joining us?"
"Maybe." Tyla shrugs, pushing the cart toward the back door that leads to the outside. "I know they were with a group that shoveled out our path today."
Rowan frowns. "They didn't ask me for help."
Tyla pats his head. "Aw, it's because you're fragile," they coo, patting Rowan's head before they look over at me. "You aren't, Ciaran, don't worry. We both know you are the one in charge in your relationship."
"We aren't in-"
Tyla cuts me off. "You haven't asked him to be your partner so you can develop a relationship?!" they shriek, and I am almost afraid that Tyla is about to splash hot milk on Rowan. "Your majesty, with all due respect, do you have a working brain in that empty skull?"
"Yes, I do," Rowan huffs. "Why must we put a label on our dedication to each other."
"Because Ciaran is adorable and I know someone will snatch him up if you aren't careful." Tyla winks at me. "There are some rather attractive men down in the kingdom."
Rowan glares at them. "Do not tell him that! I cannot let him know that or he will desert me for someone who is better than me!" he exclaims, genuine fear in his voice as he covers my ears.
I roll my eyes and take his hands off my ears. "I do not feel attraction to any of those other men, no matter how Tyla talks them up," I promise Rowan, lacing our hands together. "May we go now? I am excited to go deliver drinks to your people."
Tyla grins, their smile glowing and making their strange, golden eyes seem even brighter. "Then you can help me find someone for myself," they say, pulling me away from Rowan as they begin to chatter away about how long they've been trying to find the perfect person for themself.
I blush and scamper back to Rowan when Tyla begins to tell me all about their sexual endeavors with sometimes more that one person. Of course I am not judging them, but I am still rather uncomfortable when anyone speaks about sex, as I am not as open minded as the people who live here.
"Ah, Tyla, you are scaring Ciaran," Rowan scolds in an amused tone, ruffling my hair as he wraps his arm around me. "Do not fret, they will shut up eventually."
Tyla shoots us both a glare, but I find it humorous. They are just adorable, with the fluffy golden brown hair on their head and dazzling eyes, so I cannot find Tyla very intimidating. Though, their words are kind of scary, especially when they indulge in the memories of their past relationships.
"Tyla, you do not intimidate me with your looks," I tell them as we walk through the bitter air toward the town. "You are very beautiful and I cannot find you scary."
Rowan huffs. "I thought you did not find others attractive."
"I can appreciate beauty without wishing to be with someone the same way I would like to be with you," I tell Rowan, looking up at him with a smile, a look that he seems to adore.
As I assumed, he relaxes and tugs me back to his side, pressing his nose to the top of my hair and breathing in deeply. He seems to enjoy smelling my hair, which is strange, but every kingdom and individual in it has their own strange way to admire others.
I never expected it to be smelling, but here we are.
The brisk air feels so good, and it feels even better with my hand in Rowan's. He claims we must keep our hands together the entire time, or we risk slipping.
I know for a fact that is not true, but I will play along with his white lie if he wishes to hold my hand that much. We make our way to the homes in the village, and I can tell that this is tradition because many children are already on their doorsteps, holding cups and eagerly awaiting us to arrive.
My heart starts to race. I am nervous to have to interact with children, if I am being honest. I have never had to interact with a child before, because I was not allowed outside the palace and there were never any in the palace.
They are only tiny humans, but they are so different than me and they scare me a bit. I know children can be impulsive, and what if one tries to bite me?! I do not think Rowan would appreciate if I hurt a child because they bit me.
I keep at a distance while Rowan and Tyla serve their drinks to the children and parents. Unfortunately for me, Rowan notices this and decides to ask me about it.
"What if a child tries to bite me?" I whisper, but Tyla still hears it.
"Bite them back," Tyla says with a shrug as they work to serve all of the people beginning to surround their cart. "They do not get special privileges to bite because they are young."
Rowan nods in agreement. "Tyla is right, though I am sure none of the children here want to bite you, Ciaran," he says, guiding me to the cart and handing one of the ladles for the milk drink to me.
A young girl runs up to me and holds her cup up expectantly.
"Go on," Rowan encourages, taking the cup from the girl and handing it to me.
I pour some of the drink in it and slowly hand it back to the child, wincing as she takes it, but once she does, she thanks me in a chirpy voice and skips away.
"You have gone through hell and have been hurt so much, yet your biggest fear at the moment is children?" Rowan asks me, and I give him a nasty look. "Do not be offended, it is a mere question."
"Children are impulsive and I fear they will make a quick decision to bite me."
Rowan laughs, the sound never failing to make me smile. "Come along, we have many more to serve. I do not think any of these children will bite you, but if it eases you, I can serve them."
I thank him and hand Rowan the ladle, but I do not leave the security and safety I feel by being by his side.
Comments (0)
See all