Dylan
We can’t find him. First, we went to his condo and after waiting for him to answer the door for a while, I used my key to get in. It didn’t seem like he’d been there. Then we checked my place and few of his favorite hangouts, but to be honest, he doesn’t have many that are open this late. I was nearly beside myself and Oly and Gale did everything they could to keep me calm, but I can’t help but to fear something happening to him. He did drive off angry, after all.
After about two hours of driving around, Oly insists on dropping a sleeping Gale off at his house. When we pull up, one of our fellow actor friends, Tanan, is standing in the doorway in his pajamas, looking as if he’d just woken up.
“This will just take a second.”
Oly whispers this to me as he unbuckles his seatbelt. He gets out of the car, and instead of waking Gale, gathers the smaller man into his arms and carries him bridle style towards the house. Tanan meets him halfway and Oly carefully places Gale into his arms, gently brushing his bangs out of his face. He then ruffles Tanan’s hair and Tanan gives him a warm smile, before carrying Gale into the house. I watch Oly lock the door behind him with a key he’s pulled from his pocket. The large man flattens his palm against the closed door with his head bowed for a moment, and then he returns to the car.
“Get in the front seat, please.”
Oly settles into the driver’s seat while I comply with his request. We drive around twenty more minutes before Oly decides to loop back over to Dylan’s condo. I am excited and relieved to see his car in his parking space. Oly barely rolls to a stop before I am out of my seatbelt and opening the passenger side door.
“Call me if he’s there.”
Oly shouts at me as I race towards the elevator. I wave at him to let him know I heard him, but I don’t turn around until I step inside. The floors move by too slowly for my liking. Why does he have to live so far up? Of course, I know that the higher up you go, the more privacy, but at this moment, all I can think about is quickly clearing things up with the man I love.
When the doors to the elevator open, I feel like a racehorse at the starting line and I rush down the long hall with only three doors. His is the last one. I knock frantically, calling out to Bryce, praying he’ll open the door so that I can calm my anxious mind. Bryce always made me feel calm. What exactly do I do for him?
Pushing those feelings away, I realize that only Bryce can tell me what I need to know. Dwelling on these thoughts by myself will only worry me more.
The door opens and I almost fall into the apartment. Bryce stands there with a scowl on his handsome face. He looks at me for a moment as if he won’t let me in and then he turns and walks away. I tentatively follow him, not sure how to navigate his mood for the first time since I’ve met him.
Bryce crosses his dark living room to the small bar set up near the patio window. Standing close to the door, I'm afraid to intrude on his space. There seems to be a heavy, thick, solid wall between us, and I hate it. I want to tear it down, brick by brick, with my bare hands.
Bryce downs a glass of whiskey like it is water and then goes to pour another glass. The whole time he doesn’t face me, and I can see the tension in his back. Whatever he’d been doing since he left the restaurant has not comforted his nerves in the slightest.
My phone rings and startles me.
“Hello. Oh. Yes, Oly, he’s here and he’s safe.”
Oly asks me if he’s calmed down. I shake my head and then realize that Oly can’t see me.
“No need. We’ll see each other first thing anyway.”
Oly hangs up before I could ask what he means. I look up and see Bryce leaning against the bar, drink in hand. He watches me like the lions at the zoo sometimes watch visitors. As if they are only tamed by the barrier between them and you. I gulp, but I hold his gaze. I’ve never been this uncomfortable in his presence, but I don’t think he would hurt me. Not physically anyway. With the grip he has on my heart, he wouldn’t need to do much more to break it.
“I’m sorry.”
I whisper my apology and Bryce shifts his weight like a cat about to pounce on a mouse. His bright eyes send icy chills down my rigid spine.
“What are you apologizing for?”
I don’t like the volume and the hard tone in his voice. He isn’t even yelling, but he’s always spoken to me in the sweetest, softest way. I’m not used to this. I register my heart picking up speed and my breath quickening, but I start to slowly count backwards from 10 in my head as I breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. This is no time to panic, Dylan.
“For kissing you.”
I feel my voice and body begin to tremble at my words. Hot tears prick my eyes and I take a sharp breath in. Focus, Dylan. I am in no way sorry for kissing him. What am I really sorry for?
“For touching you…without your permission…in public. I didn’t mean to…”
At this point, my words are mixed with tears, and I am a sniveling mess. It is the first time I’ve ever cried in front of Bryce without him immediately embracing me in his strong, safe arms. Why won’t he hold me?
Bryce looks at me for a moment and then he lets out a big sigh. His shoulders relax, but he doesn’t approach me. I hug myself and focus on the floor. Looking at him hurts.
“That’s the problem, Dylan. You never mean it.”
My wide eyes snap to his but I do not ask him to explain, even though I don’t know what he means. I wait for him to speak again.
“You never want to kiss me consciously. I know that when you ask me to hold you, it’s really Cody asking for Dane, and I accepted that a long time ago. Tonight, when you kissed me, I knew intellectually it was just the alcohol...But my heart doesn’t understand, Dylan. My heart wants you to want me for who I really am and it’s killing me that you never mean it.”
Bryce crosses the room to me and puts my hand on his chest so I can feel his erratic heartbeat at arms’ length.
“Even now, my heart is doing its best to leave me for you. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be near you. It’s too painful.”
He tries to pull away, but I clutch his hand in mine. I gently pull him forward until I can softly wrap my other hand around his nape. I feel his pulse under my fingertips as I guide him to touch his forehead to mine. We are close enough to share the air between our lips and I watch him close his eyes. He takes in a shuddering breath, readying himself for whatever he thinks will happen next. I close my eyes and speak to him in our usual hushed tone.
“I want you, Bryce. I want every part of you. Your stubbornness, your drive, your generous heart, your arms around me. I want it all.”
I lift my head to look him in his tearful eyes, still holding our close position. Smiling at him, I wipe his tears and then cup his cheeks. Those amber eyes question me hopefully. He doesn’t quite believe me yet.
“I wasn’t drunk when I kissed you tonight, Bryce. When I called you after the photoshoot, I wasn’t Cody. I was just coming to terms with something I should have realized a long time ago.”
Taking a step back, I keep one his warm hand in mine, enjoying the feeling. I bring it to my lips and press a tender kiss to his palm. He watches my actions with rapt attention. Despite his blank expression, I marvel at the way he seems to be glowing right now.
“There is something I should have told you, but I really didn’t know it myself. I know now that I was too afraid to lose you if you didn’t feel the same.”
I take a deep breath. Here we go.
“I, Dylan Price, am so very, incurably, and undeniably in love with you, Bryce Winchester. Forgive me for making you wait. If your heart leaves you for me, I’ll just give you mine.”
I am so nervous that I am sure that my confession would just keep burbling from my lips like water from a stream, but Bryce’s lips on mine ends my babble.
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