This had to be the place. The neon sign outside only showed the venue’s name, but there wasn’t a single board announcing the night’s performer. ‘Good,’ Peter thought, ‘that means they’re regulars.’

‘Excuse me,’ Peter called to a shirtless twink wearing a black harness who was standing right past the door, collecting entrance fees, ‘is Anitta Rydit performing tonight?’

Of course, the twink had to examine Peter from head to toe before answering in a peppy tone, ‘The show’s about to start, daddy, go get your seat. Do you need any help?’

‘I’m fine, thanks.’ Peter left the disappointed twink behind and furtherly entered the bar, where the lights were indeed starting to dim and the stage on the other end attracted more attention.

As the drag queen performed, Peter’s vision was blurred by memories from many years past, when he was a teenager and spent his afternoons away at a barn remotely close to his home. There was no work to be done and no one bothered him there, it was the perfect spot to hide and make-out with his secret boyfriend in peace.

‘One day I’ll be a famous dancer,’ Matt had told him after showing him a dance routine he had invented the previous night.

‘You’re uniquely exquisite, you deserve all the fame,’ young Peter had replied. He was sitting on the floor against the wall and Matt came to sit on his lap, facing him. They shared a kiss before Matt said, ‘And you’ll get to tell everyone you were my first ever audience.’

And they kissed again, even more passionately.

‘I just don’t think I want to perform as a man,’ Matt said and Peter could tell he had mustered all of his courage to say these words aloud. Peter kissed his cheek, lightly bit his earlobe and whispered on his boyfriend’s ear, ‘I know. I’ll still be your biggest fan.’

Their hot make-out session was then interrupted by the barn doors being busted open and the figures of both of their angry fathers standing against the sun.

The music from the stage changed to a classic pop tune and Peter shook his memories away just in time to see Anitta Rydit make some pleasantly familiar moves to it. Peter wasn’t sure yet whether he wanted to be spotted from the audience before the show was over and, opting to blend in, he kept his enthusiasm to a matching level of those around him.

Over an hour later, Peter was sneaking his way backstage and knocked on the performer’s door. Anitta Rydit’s loud voice came from inside at an increasing rate, suggesting she was coming to answer the knock.

‘You’d better have the rest of my coins, Frank, or I swear I’ll never come back— You’re not Frank.’

‘I am not,’ Peter said, a bit stung by the lack of recognition, but after all, nearly twenty-five years had passed and he had to admit he didn’t at all resemble his fourteen-year-old self.

‘An admirer, then?’ Anitta Rydit asked in a sweeter tone, sounding happier as she turned her back on Peter, going back to her chair, where she started wiping away her make-up once her long acrylic nails had been removed. Peter only watched as Matt’s face, hardened by the sad years he also had to face once their fathers had found out about them, started to appear on the reflection. Once the wig was gone and only Anitta Rydit’s clothes remained on Matt Cole’s body, he finally got fed-up with the long silence.

‘What?’ He asked, now in a more masculine tone. ‘You didn’t really think I looked like that, right?’ Matt continued in a mocking tone.

‘No,’ Peter was quick to answer. ‘Not at all. It’s just that I waited a long time to see your face again and I have to say that it, actually, both of your faces, are uniquely exquisite.’

Shock spread across Matt’s face, but he seemed unsure if it were safe to approach Peter.

‘How did you find me?’ He asked. ‘My fa— that man— He … he went as far as changing my name so you’d never find me again.’

‘Ah, there’s a third name, then?’ Peter asked, trying to lighten up the mood a little. He had always hated to see Matt looking so forlorn and trying to cheer him up used to be almost second nature to him during the months they had dated in secret.

It seemed to have worked, but only a little bit. Matt at least gave out a small chuckle.

‘A third … a tenth,’ Matt sighed. ‘I was sent to a conversion camp that same day. I’ve spent the last decade building the person I was actually meant to be. What … what was done to you?’

‘Military boarding school on the other side of the ocean,’ Peter said, accepting the chair Matt had offered him. ‘When I turned twenty-one, I was blindly forced into an arranged marriage. They tried to sneak the certificate with some release papers, hoping I would sign everything without looking at it. I never even saw the girl. I fled that day. Got disowned. Had to build everything I am and own myself. Haven’t heard from any of them ever again.’

‘You found me,’ Matt answered. ‘If you’re so good at finding people, how come you never found them? Your family isn’t that hard to find, you know?’

‘Because you’re the one I wanted to find, not them,’ Peter answered. ‘I don’t know if I have any chance of anything, Matt, but at the very least I need you to know that your face has been on my mind for nine thousand days. It has never left. It never will.’

‘It’s the first time I’ve been called “Matt” since that day.’

‘Does it make you feel bad?’

‘It makes me feel like I forgot who I really was. I cannot say I dreamed of your face every day, Peter, but you meant the world to me back then. I never blamed you for anything, but I did have to learn to rely on no one else but me.’

‘You were always more independent, anyway. I don’t know if you already belong to someone else—’

‘Who would want to claim ownership of a heart like mine, Peter?’

‘Me.’

‘You don’t know me anymore, Peter.’

‘I know all there is to know. I know the shining person you’ve always been. I saw it plenty when we were young and I saw it again on that stage tonight. I know how pain can dim that light. And this time I can promise you that the only person with the power to set us apart is you.’

‘I can’t live without Anitta—’

‘I never asked you to. Remember, Matt. I know. And I remain your biggest fan.’ Peter checked his watch. ‘It’s almost five. Come have breakfast with me somewhere. We used to dream of a future together, please don’t tell me they were empty words from a young boy.’

‘They … they were not, Peter. I … I don’t like being a lot of people. I like being two people … I love being Anitta and … and I forgot I used to love being Matt … Especially when …’

And then Matt closed the distance between the two men and they shared a kiss that had been kept hold for far too long. The two hearts, so close to one another, started to race in their old mix of excitement and fear. They kissed for what felt like hours and, when their lips finally parted, Matt asked, ‘So, breakfast, you said? Should I change into something else first?’

‘Come as you may,’ Peter answered. ‘I’ve always loved the two of you anyway.’