Jack

Today I'm going to reenter the house that last time I went to my parents were alive.

It's been almost 8 years since I've been to my family home. I only know that it's been cleaned and locked away for me to return one day.

It's one of the several properties that I inherited from my dad. One that I almost wish that I didn't. Where my parents died brutally alongside my only sister.

I said almost.

It's also the place where I lived my entire childhood, where my mom got pregnant with Lilly, where she brought Lilly when she returned from the hospital. And where my dad told me that one day I would become the next Alpha of the Stonehold pack. Even though I didn't know what that meant exactly at the time.

Technically, I still don't. That's the point of the internship with Mr. Burke. And probably why I don't ascend until several months from now. But I'm not in any hurry. I'm secured as Alpha and that's all I ever wanted. For now anyway.

When I get downstairs on Saturday morning, my family already knows what I'm going to do and where I'm going. I had told them earlier this week and they're all giving me this 'looks' during breakfast.

Like somehow I'm gonna break down or unravel or fall ill. I raise my eyebrow in question.

"You can all stop looking at me like I'm gonna fall apart. It's just a house and I'm not going there alone." - I said staring at them in annoyance.

Tony put his hand over my free one and stared at me.

"If you need anything, I'm here for you. Even if it's to trash your mate or whatever." - He told me with an empathetic tone.

"Why would I trash my own mate? He's been nothing but nice to me this whole time." - I pulled his hand away and I glared at him.

"What Tony meant was we're all here for you. And if you need, just call us and we'll be there." - Gus said, looking deep into my eyes.

"Thanks guys. I won't, but in any case, you're my first call should I need it." - I reassured them with a knowing glance and smile.

I get why they're worried about me. It's a big deal to return to that house after nearly 8 years. I'm not going there blindly, but either I face my fears or I sell the house. And I'm not under any circumstances selling that house.

Not a chance.

I climbed into my car parked outside the house, waved the Gutierrez family off and drove towards the compound. I passed the gate and stopped at the front of the pack house. I get off the car and rang the bell, but Tyler is already at the living room ready for me. He greets me and walks out of the house.

A few minutes later, I'm in front of my parents' house. It looks exactly the same as I remember from outside. But that I had already seen it before. The though part is to enter it. I take out the key my granddad gave me [he was the custodian of the property until now] and open the door.

I look inside the house while frozen in place at its doorsteps.

I remained frozen for a minute or two, until Tyler takes my hand in his and pulls me gently in.

"It's okay, Jack. You got this." - He smiled at me. Honestly, that smile warmed my heart. I couldn't help it, not that I wish to. I stepped inside, slowly taking everything in. Tyler was glued by my side, though not enough to suffocate me.

We walked inside the living room, it's exactly as I remembered. Then, we go to the kitchen. Everything seems frozen in time as if they still lived here. Cleaned spotless as if my mom was still cleaning it every other day, though after Lilly was born she deep cleanse on weekends when my dad was around to help. He offered to get a maid but mom wouldn't have it.

I take a big breath as if expecting to inhale my parents' scent. It's just cleaning products. Tyler is quietly observing me as if waiting for my permission to offer a comment. I smiled at him weakly in silence as I slide my hand over the kitchen counter, remembering when my mom and I used to cook together.

*flashback*

"Cariño, así se hace un delicioso tamale." I was 8, mom and I were cooking on a Thursday afternoon. It was summer and I was still in my pajamas. Lilly was being cared for by dad in the living room, but I can hear him playing with her from where I stood. Her laughter is loud and my dad is being a goofball, which got her the most laughs.

Mom is teaching me how to make tamale, from cooking the ingredients to wrapping properly. She would bring them over to her brother for dinner later. Lilly rushes inside the kitchen away from my dad. She's 4 at this point.

"I want mommy." - She reaches my mom's legs and try to get her to pick her up. Dad intervenes and collect her instead, but she starts crying she wants her mother. Mom turned around from the counter with me and smiled at her at my dad's arms. She opened her arms to mom and it's enough for her to surrender. I pout at Lilly for hogging all the attention away from her but steal a tamale instead and burn my tongue with the hot temperature. I almost cry but when mom and dad laugh at me, I laugh with them.

*end of flashback*

"Jack, Jack, are you okay? You look distant." - Tyler shook me awake from my day dream.

I unravel in never ending tears that flow from my eyes. Tyler holds me close and apologize. I cry for a while and he gets me a glass of water, tap water since the fridge isn't on. Not that I mind. It's funny seeing Ty opening all the kitchen cabinets looking for a glass.

After a good time to recompose myself, we continue walking the house. I use the restroom to wash my face and we get upstairs. The first bedroom I see is my parents to the right. We open the door and enter to find it just as I remembered. Nothing is changed, not at all.

I sat on my parents' bed, it's a large suite with a giant wardrobe and bathroom complete with a hot tub. I slept here so many nights as a kid. Specially until Lilly was born. Then, it was her reign.

*flashback*

Mom is 9 months pregnant. I'm waking them up on a Sunday to make me breakfast. I was 4. I barged into their room and dad reprimanded me for waking mom up, who slept late last night not by her choice. He gets up from the bed and leave my mom resting with her huge pregnant belly. He goes downstairs with me and warms my milk on the microwave, while starting the coffee maker.

He pours me a bowl full of cereal and hot milk, just the way I like it. While I eat, he gets a tray ready for mom to have breakfast in bed. It's not easy for her to keep climbing up and down the stairs every time, so dad helps the way he can. He finally got her to agree with a maid to help out for the last 3 months, but she's off today as it's Sunday.

Dad got juice, coffee, fruits and bread on a tray and carried it to mom. I was only 4 but was made to understand that a pregnant woman is in a delicate condition and needed to be pampered as much as possible, specially in the last trimester. Not that I got that at the time. All I knew is mom was growing my sister inside her.

Dad got back and had his breakfast.

"Son, one day you will understand that nothing is more important in life than your mate. Specially a pregnant one. You mom's state is delicate now and she needs all our support until the time your little sister is born. Do you understand?" - Dad told me, looking affectionately at me.

"Yes, daddy." - I replied grinning. Even if I didn't understand fully, I love my parents so anything they needed, I'm there.

"One day you will meet your own mate. And then when you get a puppy in her, you'll know what true happiness is. Like the day when you're born. That was the happiest day of my life." - Dad said tearing up with overcoming emotion.

*end of flashback*

My tears are flowing. I can't breathe. I try to inhale some air but can't. I feel as if a river is descending from my eyes as I lay in my parent's bed. I thought I would die from the heartache until Tyler embraced me. He climbed onto the bed and held me close until I stopped crying.

Though he's a bit smaller than me, his arms hugged effectively and I basked in my mate's warmth. I stopped crying.

"I'm sorry for being a mess today. I remember the time my mom was pregnant with Lilly and my dad told me one day I would find my mate and how it was the most important thing in the world. Then he said that his happiest day was when I was born." - My voice was breaking throughout this statement. Tears fell down my face to the pillow as my mate looked at me with a mixture of affection and pity.

"You have nothing to apologize for. It's fine. You are allowed to process your parents absence." - He reassured me with an empathetic tone.

Some time later, I went into the restroom and remembered when my mom gave me baths in here as a toddler.

We stepped out of my parents' bedroom and walked towards mine. Aside from my missing clothes and toys - who were taken with me to my aunt and uncle's house - the room was intact. The criminals never entered here since it was empty. I marveled at my old room, remembering all the times I played with Tony inside, all the sleepovers and the time with my parents.

*flashback*

It's a school day. I'm 9. I'm woken up bright early by my mom, but am having trouble getting up. It's Monday and I slept late last night. Mom catches me sleeping a second time and yells at me. I tell her I don't wanna go to school. 'Can't I call in sick?' I asked her. Then, she called out my dad.

"Jack, an Alpha can't call in sick. He has to be available to his pack always." - Dad argued by my bedside.

"What it's so special about being an Alpha anyway? What if I don't want to be one?" - I rebuked in an annoyed tone. He sighed.

"Being an Alpha is the highest privilege a werewolf can have. You're called to serve as the leader of the pack and has to bare the burden of your decisions, one of which is whether or not you want to be Alpha. If you don't want to follow in my footsteps I won't force you, but I will be disappointed. It's the calling of a Stonehold. And you're my eldest son. It's on you to carry our two hundred years old tradition. That's why is so special. Because this is our pack and if we don't take care of it, who will?" - Dad replied in a serene tone.

I gasped. This is a lot for a nine years old. But I get up from the bed nevertheless.

Six months later. The house is full. It's my 10th year birthday party. Kids are running, playing, moms are flocking to the kitchen and dads are at the yard grilling and talking. The house is fully decorated and Lilly is playing princess with some of the younger children in her room.

I'm playing hide and seek. When a 9 years old Tyler finds my hiding and I have to be the one who seeks, I throw a hissyfit. I am screaming at him like somehow I am above all this.

"I can't seek anyone. I'm the future Alpha. You're all my subjects and have to do what I say!" - I demanded. My dad came near the living room and heard that.

"John Gutierrez Stonehold!" - He screamed at me from another room. All the children were frozen in place in fear. I froze as well. By now, everyone stopped talking inside the house.

"Is that what you think an Alpha is? Superior to others? Who do you think you are? You are not superior to anyone! No one is. We are servants. We SERVE the pack, not the other way around. You work for HIM." - He reprimanded me, livid, in front of all the kids.

"Now apologize to Tyler." - He demanded me, tears are on the brink of falling down my face.

"But dad..." - I pleaded.

"Now! If you don't want me to donate your presents to charity." - He threatened. And if you know my dad, you'd guess that Alphas don't make empty threats. And I had gotten some great gifts.

"I'm sorry, Tyler." - I apologized, sobbing in shame.

"I accept your apology." - He replied, embarrassed for my sake.

Dad came up to me, knelt and dried my tears with his sleeve.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper. But you have to always remember: we are privileged enough to serve the pack. We work for the common good and our orders must reflect it always. We can't go around ordering people like we're Kings. We're not. We're servants. And it's our duty to be better for everyone who needs us." - He told me, much calmer.

"I'm sorry for yelling, kids. Please continue playing. It's my son's turn to seek." - Dad addressed the children. Then, he left us to the kitchen and the adults got back to talking again.

*end of flashback*

"Remember on my 10th birthday and my dad yelled at me for making you subject to me?" - I asked him a tad embarrassed. He scoffs.

"I remember well, you little prick." - He snickered.

"I never felt so embarrassed in my life. I hated my dad for doing that but I would give anything for him to yell at me one more time." - I said with a deeply emotional tone.

"Yeah, your dad was not one to mince words. And he didn't care who witnessed." - Ty agreed, reminiscing.

I didn't have the courage to enter Lilly's room. Tyler said it was fine and he would be there for me whenever I needed and we could return here at any time I wanted.

Still, we stayed for quite some time. I cried a lot of times still as I remembered my family: my dad, mom and sister. Tyler was there by my side like the dutiful mate. He never wavered. He never flinched, nor complained.

We stayed almost past lunch hour and returned to the pack house just in time.

I was wrecked. But it was good to face my ghosts, even if it almost killed me. But I loved revisiting my old house. It seems weird now but I'll find a way to get back here if I can.

I spent all day with Tyler and his commitment to support me never failed. I'm so thankful for waiting to find my mate and coming here with him. For better or worse, he's all I have. And I'm very pleased right now.

My dad was right. Your mate is the most important thing in the world. I don't know how am I going to broach the subject of kids, but that's not something I should be worried right now.

No, now I need to enjoy my mate's company and the delicious meal prepared here at the pack house. Long live the Alpha and Luna!

A|N: I said previously there were only 2 songs I wanted to include in this book from the get go. All other songs I figured out after I've written the chapters, except for those two.

The first was fall in line. And this is the second. I fell in love with it watching Elite (Netflix).

About the chapter: I'm not crying. You're crying.

This was difficult to write. Ironically, I've written several chapters forward into the story but was stuck on this one. I'm glad to get it done because there's so many exciting stuff to come.

The next one is a doozy. You don't wanna miss that!

Love,

Léo.