Read Only You :: Ray of Sunshine

Kris was so much friendlier and sweeter than he had thought! Fox didn't understand what Safira had been so worried about. He wasn't being an asshole at all, he was really nice and sweet and cool. His hand was a lot bigger than Fox's. Instead of pulling away, he'd laced their fingers and Fox felt so happy he was about to sing and dance. He peered to the side, to the glitter in his hair and on his beanie. Warmth filled his belly as he thought back to how Kris had warned him about the crystal grains, how he had gently wiped his hands, leaving behind even finer glitter dust.

He was perfect, absolutely perfect.

And he was holding his hand. Fox still couldn't believe it.

Kris turned his head to the side as well. Fox could swear he was sprouting wings and rising off the ground when their eyes met—and then he slammed his right shoulder into a tree.

"Ouch!" The shock and embarrassment were more significant than the pain.

Kris chuckled softly. "Am I that dazzling?"

Fox felt his cheeks glow. "Yes," he said softly.

Kris' thumb stroked along his.

Suddenly Fox wanted to hug him, but he didn't dare. Breathless, he looked at the older boy, who was now standing very close to him. Kris' gaze wandered from his eyes to his lips.

Would the boy kiss him again?

His legs already felt weak at that prospect. With every second that passed, he got warmer. Should he do something? Say something?

"You-you're sweet," Fox stammered. Shyly, he bit his lip.

Kris raised his hand and raked his fingers through his curls. Gently, his lips touched his temple. "Don't tell anyone," the boy whispered, his voice hoarser than it had been before.

Fox nodded astonished as he looked up into those light eyes, enjoying the fingers slipping through his hair. No one had ever stroked his hair like that, but the way Kris did it felt almost familiar.

Eventually, Kris lowered his hand, shoving it into his pocket. Something about his posture changed and he seemed to avoid eye contact. Immediately, Fox felt uncertain. Had he done something wrong? He considered just asking, but Kris asked a question first. "What did you want to show me?"

He sounded friendly—not bored, as Fox had feared.

"Oh yes!" Fox had already forgotten where he had been heading. "We're almost there!"

He started to walk again, paying a little more attention to where he was going. Secretly, he missed Kris' hand in his, for he found it a bit scary in the woods and Kris made him feel safer. Fortunately, it was only a short walk; soon they arrived at the clearing he had been heading for. The moon gave the icy landscape a blue glow. Fox looked up at Kris. "This is what Safira and I made," he explained. "Well, Safira made it, but she got the ideas from me. Beautiful, isn't it?" He carefully moved across the ice. "This one we made yesterday." He put his hand on a wooden board that was attached to an ice structure with a thick rope. He hoisted himself up onto the swing and moved his legs until he was gaining considerable momentum. As soon as he reached the highest point, he let go.

"Fox!" Kris sounded startled.

For a moment, Fox flew through the air; then he transformed into a bird, circled through the air and landed on Kris' shoulder. He let out an excited twitter.

When he jumped off Kris' shoulder and changed back, Kris let out a series of curses. "You scared the shit out of me, man."

The boy looked at him with a fierce expression and Fox flinched. "I didn't mean to scare you," Fox muttered. "I turned into a bird for the first time yesterday. I — I was just excited."

Kris looked past him. Fox wasn't sure whether the boy was still angry with him and a little uncertain, he wobbled on his toes.

"Do you want to go back?" asked Fox quietly. "Maybe it was stupid and you don't like seeing all this."

Kris sat down on the swing. Before Fox knew what was happening, Kris' arm slipped around his waist and pulled him onto his lap. "There's no need for that insecurity, Foxie. I think it's a fantastic evening and you can show me all your works of art in a moment."

Kris pushed away from the ground so that the swing began to move. Still a little stunned, Fox snuggled up against Kris' chest. He didn't care about the artworks right now—he rather stayed on Kris' lap for the rest of the night.

☆☆☆

It was damn hard not to kiss the Lion. There were times Fox looked at him in a way that made his heart beat twice as fast. He wanted it too.

Still, he couldn't get Safira's words out of his head.

That Fox was madly in love with him. That he was already planning their wedding.

That he was vulnerable, that Kris shouldn't give him hope.

That Kris should only kiss him if it meant something to him.

And as frustrating as those words had been, he did realize she was right. He didn't want to hurt Fox—that would feel like kicking a puppy.

The boy leaned comfortably against him as the swing still moved gently back and forth. He'd pulled the boy on his lap before giving it a good thought, and secretly he had to admit that there was something immensely calming about holding him like this. It confused him. With Onyx, this had never happened. With Nish, he couldn't imagine it either. Those were the only two guys he'd pictured himself in relationship with and he realized that a relationship with Fox would look very different. He wasn't the tough masculine guy he thought he felt attracted to.

Fox was much softer, much more childlike. Not in a negative way; he was just more naive, more innocent; happier it seemed, like he didn't truly understand what kind of place they were in. He was someone who tried to see the positive in everything.

They were so different—and that was the main reason he didn't dare to cross that line and kiss him. Would they even get along? They were opposites.

Fox didn't hurt a fly; he'd try to lure a mosquito out of his room instead of swatting it. And Kris himself? He had killed someone.

Fox looked over his shoulder as if he sensed how dark memories were clouding his mind. "What are you thinking about?

Things he would never tell the boy. He let his gaze travel across Fox's handsome face. "That I don't know anyone like you."

"Oh." A red tinge spread across his cheeks. "Because I'm—because I'm weird?"

Kris chuckled. "I haven't come across any normal person here."

Something warm spread through his chest as he looked into Fox's eyes. He didn't want the boy to feel insecure; his words showed that he felt like an outcast; maybe he was even bullied. With his cheerfulness, he created the impression that he didn't care what others thought of him but Kris didn't buy it. Once again he slipped his fingers through his soft curls, sliding his fingertip across his auricle. Pretty, sweet Fox. "You're not weird. Maybe just a little different. Like a ray of sunshine among gray clouds."

The boy bit his lip as his cheeks flushed. He turned on his lap and raised his hand. His fingers left warm trails along his jaw. Kris had no idea what happened to him as his heart almost jumped out of his chest.

"I'm in love with you," Fox said softly. With honest, sincere eyes he looked up at him. "Very much in love."

Kris swallowed. He was so honest... He loved how he just blurted out his feelings. Again, he was tempted to kiss him.

But are you sure you want this? Do you want something serious?

He could already feel how Fox's heart would break if it didn't work out for them.

"I know," Kris replied instead of giving in to his desires. "But we don't know each other that well. Let's become friends first, hmm? We can go into the woods more often?" He lifted the corner of his mouth. "To see if I'm really as nice as you think?"

"I'm sure you are," Fox said without lowering his gaze. "I like you more every minute."

I like you too.

He didn't say it—taking things slow sounded like a wise decision.

"You think so," Kris teased instead. "Just wait until we've made a crystal sculpture that makes Safira's look like garbage. Then you'll only hear shit about me for the rest of the week."

Fox chuckled. "She can say whatever she wants, I'm not listening anyway." He slipped off his lap. "But I'm curious about your artistic talents."

Kris grinned. He got up and almost slipped because he'd forgotten they were standing on ice, but he managed to regain his balance. "Trust me, Michelangelo is nothing compared to me."

It had never been his intention to stay this late in the forest, but the sun was already rising when they left the fence behind. Fortunately, they had no classes today. Fox was as energetic as ever and even tripped over his feet now and then. They had strolled through the forest for a while, he had made an imitation of an Egyptian sphinx while Fox told him a story taken from Egyptian mythology and then they had climbed a huge tree where after they'd leaned against each other to watch a swarm of fireflies. This had really given the evening a bit of magic. When he'd found the roses earlier today, he'd never expected it to lead to such a fun evening, and he was bummed when it was over and he was standing in front of the Lions' campus.

Fox had intertwined his fingers— something he often did when he was nervous, Kris had noticed—and looked up to him. "I um—I'm glad you came tonight. I really enjoyed it. And I — I was hoping I could give you a hug."

"Well, if you insist..." he said with a crooked smile. "And because you ask it so sweetly."

The boy stepped closer, slipping his arms around him and holding him tight. Very tight. It wasn't a quick goodbye, but an intimate hug that made him aware of every body part touching Fox's. And there were a lot of them. He wrapped his arms around Fox, feeling his body melt against him.

It was nice. New—but nice, and letting go of him was damn hard.

Eventually, it was Fox who pulled back. He stretched his neck and kissed his cheek. "Good night, Kris."

Kris didn't want to let him go at all, his body felt cold now that Fox had stepped back. The only place that still felt warm, was his cheek. "Sleep tight, Fox. See you soon."

Before he was tempted to kiss him anyway, he stepped back and turned around.

The swarm of fireflies they had admired in the forest just a while ago, now seemed to have found a way into his stomach. With a smile, he walked back to his campus, slowly realizing that Fox was not the only one who was in love.