I don't know why but I just noticed that there's a lot of my school mate in the arcade. It's kinda strange really. It's past 9pm already and I notice just know that there's some people I know that I there. Wait a goddamn minute..is that Joshua? Why's he here? Oh wait he's with a girl, wait two girls? Nah that's not him, he wouldn't shrew with two girls, especially not Alexis. Who's that girl tho? Since when does Josh like tomboyish girls? Hm it's not like I would know I don't really hang out with him that much, actually I decided to distance myself from him. Tonight I'm on some sort of..date.. I don't know how but..Camilla asked me out. She beat to it.. I was actually planning to ask her out but I didn't know how. During the last 2 months we really started to hit it off. I was actually really happy when she decided to hang out with me minus my reputation. At first I thought she was nice and cute... back then I was still struggling with my sexuality. I actually thought back then that I didn't like anyone at all. That day, Kilan really opened my eyes quite a bit on the topic of asexuality. I was barely friends with her back then so I didn't really have anything for her. After a few weeks I came to a conclusion I was asexual then I started having those kinds of small things. I don't know why but every time she smiled I felt like smiling, I always felt different whenever I'm around her, it's like I care about her ten times more then I ever did for anyone before. I like being around her. She really has a kind heart, sure she didn't real any other friends but that's because she chose to stick with me. Everyone is a bit skeptical about me so yeah that's why she's always with me. At first I thought I had a crush on her as I had all those kinds of things someone has when they like someone but then I continued paying close eye to her. During the last weeks, I kept zoning out because I was busy staring at her, admiring her features. I noticed tons of things I never saw before. Sure I know she's trans but that doesn't stop from thinking she's pretty. I just can't stop looking at her lately. I keep paying a close eye to all of a little interactions. I figured out that we might be way closer then I originally thought we were. I kept checking signs she might be into me. I think I might be blind because I didn't really noticed anything so when she asked me out the other day I was really surprised. Normally I'm the one that's bolder and she's more shy but I guess it's not to much the case now. Obviously I found out strange that I only thought about her in a non sexual way but I think I prefer it that way. She's innocent in my eyes ok?! I must protect her at all cost. It's not that I don't want to do it with her because yeah we both there's something down there. No it's just I truly don't think about her that way. I always think about the sweet parts, you know how I want to be the one to make her smile and whatnot. So Kilan was in some part right about me being asexual. I've never really put into thought about doing anything more than kissing. Sometimes it feels like it's the society that's telling to kiss her but if I didn't have to kiss and just be happy with her than I would je gladly happy. It's more her side of things I didn't know about. I know she's straight but she's probably not asexual like me you know? Is she willing to put up with an almost nor existent romance if we were to have a relationship? I don't know we haven't talked about that yet. Sure she told me stuff about being trans and I carefully listened to her but I don't know what she wants. All I know now is that she definitely feels something for me. It's crazy how I went to a forcing myself to think in a sexual manner and trying so badly to get myself laid to a guy ready to have an almost platonic relationship. Just knowing my sexuality really made me think a lot. We didn't really talked that much about her liking me. She told me a few days ago that she wants to go on a date with me. It's like she told me to give dating a go. I think she was to embarrassed or too shy to admit what kind of feelings she has for me trough. So far our date has been going well, we decided to go to an arcade. I didn't think I would see some of my classmates here. "Hey isn't that guy Joshua?" Camilla brings me back to earth. "Yeah that's Joshua why you asking?" "It's just I never seen him before why is he here? He's not here to hang out with us right?" "No, no he's not..I didn't know he was coming." "Oh ok.." "What's wrong? Is the fact that he's here bothering you?" "No.." "Camilla stop lying I know he's bothering you." "Fine..it's just I wanted this hang out to be only us two. I didn't want to see our other classmates." "Oh..I didn't know you wanted that..we could've went somewhere else you know? If that's what you want. This place is quite popular and it's the beginning of summer of course there's gonna be lots of people in here." "Yeah..you're right..but I wanted to see what the arcade looked like." "Mm ok." I think Joshua noticed me and Camilla but he doesn't walk over here. I'm glad he doesn't trough. I don't really want to talk to him especially not when I'm on a date. Now that I think about it why haven'y went and say hi to all of them? Wait I have to think about Camilla..She might not like that. She told me the only person apart from Kilan and Charlie she talked too is Olivia. I don't see her trough. Eh I'm on a date I shouldn't be thinking about the other people that are here too. "Hey let's go play that game over there." I point the machine in question. "Ok" We walk over there and it's like the others finally realizes that we are here as well. Alexis and the other girl and Joshua approaches us. "Hey I didn't realized you guys were here. You guys on a date?" Of course it would be Alexis asking those types of questions. "Um" "Yes we are actually." Camilla looks back at me flustered. Cute. It's was about damn time I manage to tell someone the truth. "Cool" "What are you guys doing here for?" "Hm turns out I bumped into Grace and Joshua over here. Huh Joshua?" She makes sure he catches her attention. "Yeah what?" "I still don't know why you were with Grace over here. Since when do you hang out with her. As far as I'm concerned you didn't know about her a few days ago." "Sure I do she used to date that dude over there." He points towards Mason in the far back of the arcade. "Oh yeah.." "Anyways I offered to tag along because why not. I always like to keep company." "Do you guys know why some of our classmates are all over there?" "I don't, like I said I was here to spend some great times with Camilla over here." She looks back at me. Seriously she really does look adorable with her shying gesture. She doesn't know what to think of out open discussion. "Yeah, yeah you finally found yourself a girl, wait I mean a guy." I can't believe Joshua had the guts to open his damn mouth. Now I'm hurt over what he said and mad. I can tell that Camilla didn't like that. "Oh come one Joshua be a little more nice? Oh and can't you see she's girl clearly not need to correct yourself. If you let me tag along for you to only be an a** I will gladly leave." "Then leave" "Hey not so fast, you don't want to go there do you." The three of us are all confused about what Alexis is talking about. It seems he knows tho what this is about. "Hm fine..you're such a b*tch sometimes Alexis." "Yeah, yeah and we both know you're lucky I'm tolerating that kind of behavior coming from you. Will there ever be a time where you'll be a respectful person?" "Nah why should I be when I'm only speaking the truth." "Ugh get out of my sight. Grace you stay here. Don't go back with me, trust me he's not worth it." "You're right I'll stay here. I think I was drunk earlier that's why I was with him." "You we're drunk? I thought you were a innocent young mam." "Can you stop saying mam please? I don't like it." "Oh so you're a f**king trans too?!" "Hey calm down." While they continue arguing, I take Camilla's hand and slip off to an other machine in the arcade. Oof it felt like that was never gonna hand. "Why is Joshua so aggressive and mean all the time?" "I don't know he' always like that. He's not afraid to speak his mind and like you know this town isn't all supportive and all so he's one of those homophobic and transphobic guys." "Oh..that sucks..I can't believe you used to be friends with him." "Look, I was never friends with him to begin with. We only talked sometimes that's it." "Mm I still don't believe you but let's change subject." "Ok then." "Um..I'd like to hang out with you again..this weekend is that okay..?" "Um my father is trowing a party for my older brother, Jackson for his birthday and I have to be there. You know how I'm rich and all and I have to attend to all those boring parties. You can come at my brothers party even if I don't think it's a good idea." "Oh..I was kinda hoping..that it could be the 2 of us..?" "Oh..ok I can ditch that party and hang out with you instead?" I shrug "Yes that would be fine I suppose." "Ok..Um where tho?" "I don't know we can't go to your house, we can't really go to my house either.." "Why not?" "It's nothing, it's just never mind. "How about we hang out in the parc near your house?" "That could work." "Ok it's settle then."

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We spend the next 2 hours playing more arcade games. We didn't talk to the rest of our classmates nor Alexis, Joshua and Grace again. I think we had a fun night, minus Joshua ruining our date. It felt like we were happy, she played her favorite play machines, we sometimes did it together. I introduced her to some more of my favorite arcade games. It's already past 11pm and it'a getting late. I'm surprised her parents let her stay somewhere else that late. I'm free to do what I'm want because my dad doesn't give two f**ks about me. The perks of being a child to a wealthy man. Honestly I don't even want to talk about what kind of business he does. My mom acts the same way. She lests me do whatever the f**k I want. If they knew what kind of people I hang around with they surely wouldn't let me do what I want freely.  "I think we should go know. The arcade closes soon and they're all leaving." "Yeah we should." We take our things and walk to the front door to leave. She is right they all left, except Joshua and company. Not surprising he's forcing them to be there. We leave for real. And for what feels like a minutes we stand there awkwardly not knowing what to do. She looks at me and look back at her. She truly is pretty. I don't care that she's trans, I think she's perfect this way.  She has dark chocolate eyes and a side mini braid that's also chocolate brown. I didn't know I had a type of girl. Most people may think she's Latino or something but I don't think so. She never told me anything about that trough. Her name may suggest that she is indeed Latino but again that's not her real name.. I don't why but it seems like all of the sudden we're acting all shy. We are in front of the arcade door waiting as if we're waiting for something to happen any second. I don't know what it is about that. I never had this kind of awkwardness with a girl before but then again I like her. I'm starting to get lost in her eyes. Slowly without knowing we somehow manage to have our lips at a mere 1 cm from each other, then it happens. Our lips touch and we both lean in. We end up full kissing. Thank god no one is watching us. We both close our eyes to enjoy the moment. It feels amazing. I like how tender the kiss is, it's not anything too intense, too sexual or anything it's just gentle. I like that. I feel at ease right now but it's when that she tries to kiss with more hunger that I snap and stop the kiss. "What' wrong? You didn't like it.." "No,no, no it's just..I don't want to do more then kissing." "Normally guys like it like that. Seriously say that didn't you didn't like the kiss." "No..stop saying that." I grab her arms and put it close to me. "I like you..not as a friend as more then that it's just...I don't want anything sexual? I don't like that way." "So you don't want to do more than kissing.." She's flustered even if she's kinda upsets about what I just told her. "Yeah..it doesn't mean I don't like you..it's just I don't want to do that.." "I get it..you want to take it slow?" "No..no it's like I don't think of you in a sexual way." "So your telling me that you don't like the fact that I have a penis..?" "No,no,no! Stop misunderstanding! It's not about you, it's about me, I've been figuring out the last few months but I think I'm asexual." "So you don't want to have sex like at all?" "I don't know, ugh can we talk about that a another day?" "Yeah.." Just to make sure that she feels reassured I stop holding her arms and kiss her cheek. "I just I prefer small gestures like this.. I think.." "Oh..it's fine.. I really thought that you didn't want to farther with me because I have a penis." She broke down into tears. I gesture to her to cry in my shoulder. I let her let it all out. "When I first met you I didn't think you were gonna be that nice because others told me you weren't that nice but you're really sweet guy you know?" "Thanks" She backs up from me and seeing the remmenants of her tears makes me want to confort her more. "Oh come here." She comes crashing in my arms and we hug for what feels like a good old minute. We end up leaving both of ways holding hands. I'm really happy that I finally had the chance to express my feelings maybe not in full but for now I fell like the happiest guy in the world.