Tyler

It is what it is. I have lost. Life goes on.

I mean, it has to. Am I right?

I've cried about it. I've been sad, suffered over it. I've beaten myself up about it plenty. But enough is enough.

I lost the battle, not the war.

I still can be Beta. That's what my dad is hanging on to. And so am I. There's always hope until Jack announces otherwise.

To be honest, deep down, I knew my chances were always slim against Jack. I mean, he is a Stonehold and this is the Stonehold pack, to put it plainly as my sister did.

So yeah, it was always a long shot truthfully. But it's fine. He's the legacy. It would be far worse for him to lose on Alpha that it is for me, I gotta admit it.

No one really expected ME to become Alpha aside from my dad. And even then, his expectations were always somewhat unrealistic - just like Sarah said (my sister is really wise). It's not like we didn't know Jack was alive and wouldn't return. Of course, he would. It's his goddamn legacy. His birth right, as much as it pains me to admit it.

"Are you okay, Ty?" - Mom asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts. We're eating dinner at the pack house on a Tuesday night. I have been training as a Beta candidate for a week now. And every day I go with Jack to the center after he finishes up with my dad.

It's a drag that I have to wait around for him. I could just go earlier and train alone, but it turns out the Delta of the pack has other things to do than train us and his only available time is spent with the actual future Alpha. Go figure...🤭

I mean, the guy does lead a small army of more than 100 warriors. So, you know, it is what it is.

"Yeah, mom. I'm fine. I just wish I could train alone and not have to wait for Jack every single day." - I blurted with a low growl of discontentment.

"You should be counting yourself lucky to be able to train with Delta Jones at all! And the only reason he still does it's because you're the son of the Alpha. He's under no obligation to train you. You should be training with Beta Davis, if ever." - Dad jabbed at me. Ouch. I felt that in my bones. He doesn't make it easy for me, does he?

"I know, dad. I do count my blessings. And I should train with the Beta soon. I just don't want to get my hopes up, only for Jack to announce another person for the position." - I replied with a sadness that is palpable.

Sarah gives me a poignant look but doesn't say anything. She doesn't wanna put herself in the middle of this with her dating Jack. And I'd never ask her to. Or would want that in any way.

The next day at school, things are normal again. It's been a week, so people forgot about me. Now, they have their precious Alpha.

For once, I'm glad to be rid of the glares. Who knew I'd ever be okay with being just another common student. A nobody in the sea of teen werewolves. OK, I'm not exactly a nobody. I'm still the son of the Alpha. But it's sure better than having everyone hate you.

My friend group has stopped giving me pity stares that they did ever since we got that fateful e-mail from the Elder Council. It's been a tough week, no doubt. But I'm glad to put it behind me. For good.

I'm only 17 years old. My life is fully ahead of me. Bring it on.

"Ty, are you okay training with Jack now that you're no longer..." - Jason trailed off asking me during lunch later the day.

"Yes, I'm fine. I have to train regardless of that if I wanna become Beta." - I replied, trying to refrain from letting my mood drop.

"Are you gonna be Beta? Did he tell you that?" - He asked curiously, sounding excited.

"No, he didn't. But he didn't say that I won't either. So..." - I replied almost in a whisper.

"Why don't you have Sarah--"

"Dude, forget about it, okay? I'm not degrading my sister by involving her in this. Keep her out of it, please!" - I snapped at him, pissed off. Sarah gave me a look but her expression was unreadable. One thing for sure I could tell, there's worry tucked away in a corner of her eyes.

Later that day, we're driving to the training center. I mean, Jack is. It's his car.

"Thanks for giving me a ride. I know you didn't have to. And you're probably puzzled as to why I have to go with you in the first place." - I broke the silence, even though we both continued looking ahead on the street.

"I'm not puzzled, I know why you go. To train for the Beta position. Your dad told me last week." - He replied in a matter of fact tone.

I gasped. Of course he did. Dad would have to offer him some sort of explanation as to why I'm training still. He is the Alpha, but it's not like he's gonna command a teenager to give me a ride. Especially a Stonehold.

"Right. So thanks for not saying it's gonna be Tony. I know he's your first choice." - I said after a minute with an uncomfortable expression on my face, though he isn't looking at me.

"He's my only choice. But I haven't made up my mind yet." - He said in a raised voice, almost angrily.

"I know. I'm not pressuring you. Take your time." - I back away from the topic, as I can sense it's touching a nerve after I mentioned Tony's name.

Listen, I get it. He would only choose me out of respect for my dad. I'm not stupid. Or delusional as to think he'd choose me for me. Why would he? It's not like I gave him any reason to.

If I were in his shoes, I'd also choose a Beta I could trust. That's one of the reasons it's an Alpha's prerogative to choose his own Beta. I get it. The same way it's the Beta's prerogative to choose his Delta.

And there isn't a single person he trusts more than his cousin who he grew up with. Maybe if things were different and we had grown up together, we'd be best friends like our dads were. Maybe. If only...

2 hours later, we're exhausted from training. Even though we don't fight each other anymore, we do fight other warriors. And it's not the same as wrestling teenagers at practice, that's for sure.

We take our towels, shampoos and soaps and go wash up. There's an unspoken code in the male locker room.

You tend to keep it to yourself, do your thing and don't look down at any of the anatomy that is on display. Of course, it's not written in stone.

People steal a glance once or twice. If anything, out of curiosity. I mean, we're only teenagers after all. It's normal to be curious. Even adults get curious too, not that we shower with any of them. No one uses the warriors' locker room at the same time that we do, not that I'd have a problem with it if they did. It's their space, not mine. Not yet, at least.

But since that incident last week, I noticed that Jack tends to shower looking away from me in a way that he didn't before. It shouldn't be a bother to me. It was weird for him to see that part of myself, but like most things lately, I didn't do it on purpose.

It's a running theme with me and him.

"Jack, I probably shouldn't mention this, but I want you to know I didn't do that on purpose either." - I blurted, even though I should have just kept my mouth shut. It's weird to even talk about it, which is why he hasn't mentioned it in the first place.

Jack turned around to face me, looking puzzled.

"Do what?" - He asked, not knowing what I was referring to.

"You know, the thing that happened last Monday in this very shower." - I replied, blushing hard.

Jack laughs out loud at this.

"Relax. I didn't think so." - He spoke grinning and I sighed in relief.

"Like I said, I shouldn't be mentioning this but last thing I need is for you to look at me weirdly on top of it all." - I admitted, though very much embarrassed.

"I'm not. I'm just not looking at you right now to not turn you on." - He snickered with a mischievous grin.

"Fuck you!" - I glared at him. Then we laughed out loud together.

"You're not even the first boy I've seen caught in this situation." - He spoke as to tranquilize me. I giggled at this.

"Really? I have showered with dozens of boys and never seen it before. You really must be special." - I snickered. I lied, of course I've seen it before. This isn't even the first time that it happened to me in a group shower situation. But I just had to rattle his cage a bit.

"Fuck you!" - He barked at me. Then we laughed again.

Not much longer after this, we're inside his car driving back to my house.

"I really wanted to hate you, but you make it so damn impossible for me to do so. I hate to admit it, but you're born to be Alpha indeed." - I told him and watched as he opened the biggest smile I've seen on him so far.

"Thanks. That means a lot coming from you." - He spoke in a soft tone.

"You're welcome. Seriously, when you hugged me people thought I gave you a concussion." - I snickered, laughing mildly.

He laughed at this.

"Tony thought so too." - He replied grinning.

"I will only say this and then I won't speak about it ever again: I think Tony would make a great Beta. I know why you're so conflicted about it. I would be too if I were you. I get that he is more than a cousin to you, I really do. And if you decide to make him your Beta, I won't be offended. Not that I'd have any right to be in the first place." - I blurted in a single breath.

He parked the car near my house and stared at me in silence. Then, he unfasten his seat belt and hugged me. Yes, he hugged me again. Except this time no one saw us.

"Thank you for saying that. I know what it means for you to be Beta. So, I really appreciate the gesture." - He spoke while hugging me.

Moments later, I left his car and hurried to the dining hall for dinner. I'm fucking starving.

"How was training, son?" - Dad asked me while I devoured my steak and mashed potatoes, accompanying rice, beans and a salad.

"It was fine, dad. But I have to say, though it pains me, Jack is a great kid. He is the nicest, most gracious guy I know. He really is gonna make a great Alpha. It's just sad that it took all this to happen for me to realize it." - I admitted, shocking everyone. Especially Sarah, who gasped at my words. But mom and dad were seriously gobsmacked at me.

Like I said, it is what it is. I may not want to face it, but that doesn't make it any less truthful. There's something special about that boy, I can't deny it. But I sure as hell wish that I could.

A|N: Things are heating up between the two of them, but that was an awkward conversation.

It's so important to atone and recognize when we're wrong, if possible. That's growth.

If I were you, I wouldn't miss the next chapter for anything! It's about to go down!

The big *reveal* is coming!

Love,

Léo.