~~Year 2086, Heaven~~
Muttering to herself, an old woman climbed towards the golden gates of Heaven, wobbling up the glass stairs at an excruciatingly slow pace. Huffing and puffing, she gathered the last of her strength and lifted her stiff body up on the landing. Proud of her accomplishment, she shuffled over to the two angels who stood guard at the gates. She expectedly gazed up at them, waiting to be let inside.
“...”
“...”
The two angels glanced down at her for a split second before ignoring her. Frowning, the old lady impatiently tapped her cane on the glass floor, trying to get their attention again. However, she was again ignored. Unable to quell her short temper, she began to throw a tantrum, whining to be let in.
“HEY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH FOR 49 DAYS?! HUH!? OPEN UP!”
“... Ahem. You’re at the wrong gate. You have to go up one more floor–”
“THAT’S WHAT THE OTHER GUY SAID 100 FLOORS DOWN! DO YOU NOT SEE HOW WEAK AND FRAIL I AM?! OPEN UP!”
“... She’s weak and frail? But she’s kicking up a storm–”
“GRRR–!”
“What’s going on? Why’s it so loud over here?”
“G-God!” the two angels gasped, straightening their posture upon seeing their boss.
His platinum blond hair gleamed like a diamond, shimmering with each step he took. With his deep amethyst eyes, the divine creator stared down at the seething old granny, who resembled a yipping chihuahua. Hiding his amused smirk, he held out his hand to the cautious elder. Raising an eyebrow, the old woman gazed up at God with great suspicion.
“...Hmph. Open up those gates, will you? I’m tired from all that walking! But, seriously, it’s 2086; don’t you guys have any rockets or something?”
“Pfft. Come on, little one, let’s go meet your parents. They’ve been waiting to see you for a long time.”
“...?”
God smiled, tilting his head to the side. Confused, the old woman peeked behind him and froze. Her parents stood on the other side of the gate, smiling at their only daughter. Scooping up the exhausted woman, God carried her inside through the gleaming gates of heaven, chuckling at her changed appearance. How cute.
Annoyed that she was being carried without permission, Heeyoon (the elderly lady) wriggled around and managed to break free. Stepping onto the fluffy and cloud-shaped floor, she gasped when she saw how tiny and baby-like her feet were. What the…?
“Heeyoon, I missed you–”
“... THE HELL?! What is this? Why am I so small– Oww!” Heeyoon whimpered in pain as she stared at her mother with tearful puppy eyes.
“I didn’t raise you to have such a potty mouth! Apologize before I scrub your lips with soap!” her mother reprimanded, shaking her head in disapproval.
“Hmph. Sorry. Anyways… WHY DO I LOOK LIKE A FOUR-YEAR-OLD?!”
“Oh, well, that’s because this is how your parents view you. I guess you won’t need this anymore~” Plucking the wooden cane from Heeyoon’s hands, he tossed it to the side before smiling at the dismayed child.
“... Good to know…” she mumbled, narrowing her eyes at her parents before diving into her parents’ arms. She missed them so much.
“Since you’ve said your hellos, let’s take you to orientation. You should say ‘bye-bye’ to your mommy and daddy now.”
“What do you mean, ‘say bye to my mommy and daddy?!’ I’M A 90–”
“Okay, let’s go now, little one. I’ll bring your baby back soon!” God teasingly grabbed Heeyoon’s hand and pulled her along, ignoring her attempts to escape.
“E-Eommaaa!!!”
“Have fun~ See you soon!”
~~~
With a large pout, the young, toddler-like 90-year-old plodded behind the happy-go-lucky creator of the universe. Glancing up at the divine being, she sighed. She had expected him to be strict and charismatic… How disappointing.
“Hmm.”
“What is it, child?”
“... I thought Heaven was supposed to be fun. Didn’t you say it was a ‘paradise’? There’s nothing here except for a bunch of people loafing around.” she muttered, frowning at a boy waggling his eyebrows at her. Yuck.
“Pfft. You’ll find out–”
“AHHH! SONG YOO~!!!”
Her ears perked up in surprise as Heeyoon glanced around. Song Yoo? As in, the actor Song Yoo from the hit Korean drama Tea Prince?! Her mouth gaping wide open, she ogled at the handsome actor who was surrounded by a huge mob. Ditching God’s hand, the toddler zipped through the crowds, fighting to get closer to the man. There was no way she would miss a chance to see her favorite actor of all time!!!
“Hey! Move it! I wanna see– Ouch…!”
Getting knocked over by the clamoring crowd of fans, Heeyoon toppled onto the ground, landing on her bum. A sharp pain pierced her buttocks as Heeyoon tried to quell her cries. What the heck?! Why did she still feel pain when she was dead?! Unable to quell the persisting throb on her bum, the toddler began to embarrassingly wail, catching the attention of the famed actor.
“Are you okay?!”
Sniffling, Heeyoon looked up to see her idol squat beside her. Her eyes wide, she stared up at the man in awe. Woah. She already knew he was handsome, but wow… He was even more charismatic in person! Picking up the sniffling toddler, Song Yoo smiled at her, consoling her in his arms. Not wanting to let go of this chance, Heeyoon wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, smirking triumphantly at the clamoring women below her. She was the clear victor in this chaotic battle for Song Yoo’s attention.
Peeling away from the crazed crowd, Song Yoo carefully sat her on a nearby bench. “Stay away from big crowds, or you’ll get hurt again, okay?”
He heartily chuckled at her timid nod and petted her small head. The actor struggled to bite back another fit of laughter as the little girl’s eyes twinkled with adoration. Then, confirming that she didn’t sustain any injuries, the famed actor got up from his crouch and began to stroll toward his swooning fans.
With a dreamy look on her face, Heeyoon watched Song Yoo walk into an elevator while his fans tearfully waved goodbye. Eh…? They had an elevator this entire time?!
“There you are; I was wondering where you ran off to.” God sighed, looking down at the confused toddler with disdain.
“Why the heck did you make me climb up nearly 1,000 stairs to get here?! You had an elevator–”
“Oh. That’s the elevator for reincarnation.”
“...What?”
“Hmm?”
“D-Did you just say reincarnation?! Where is he going?! I finally saw him in real life, and he’s leaving?! NOOOOO!” Horrified, she watched the doors clang shut as the lift rapidly descended and disappeared into the clouds.
“What’s wrong– Hey!”
Grabbing God by his white tunic, she gnawed on his leg, refusing to let go of her prey. Grimacing at his slobbered tunic, he picked her up by her overalls and shook his head in disapproval.
“Bad. Don’t do that.”
“BRING HIM BACK! HE CAN’T LEAVE NOW!”
Carrying her in his arms, he glided towards the auditorium in the distance. “I can’t; he’s long gone. You, missy, need to start your orientation.”
“Pssht. Orientation?! We’re already dead! Just bring back Song– Wait. I’ve got it!” she yelled into his ear, her dark brown eyes sparkling with mischief.
“... I don’t think I want to know–”
“I WANT TO BE REINCARNATED TOO!”
“...”
God stared down at her, unamused. What in the world was she going on about? She had barely arrived in Heaven; how could she want to return to earth so soon? He shook his head. Humans really were the most curious beings he had ever made.
Setting down the young child, he squatted before her, “You’re willing to throw away your peaceful afterlife for him?”
“...? You said this was paradise– shouldn’t my Song Yoo be here as well?!”
“Er–”
“Besides, you never gave me a boyfriend or a husband! I waited and waited–”
“You’re the one who said no to every man I sent your way because they weren’t Song Yoo!”
“Ahem... A-ANYWAYS, IT AIN’T A PARADISE IF HE ISN’T HERE!”
God groaned in frustration. He couldn’t exactly deny it, considering that Heeyoon had been a long-time fan of the popular Korean actor. The deity could still remember her bawling her eyes out for a month straight when she learned of his death. Sighing, he tapped his finger on his chin, deep in thought. Heeyoon, slightly amused, mirrored God’s behavior, giggling to herself. Smirking, God picked her up again and began to walk towards the elevators.
“Fine, I’ll let you go down there, but there’s a catch.”
“...? What is it?”
“This time, you’ll be born as a male. If you can make Song Yoo fall for you despite your appearance, I’ll allow you to be with him in Heaven. How does that sound?”
“Hmm... ? Is he gonna be reborn as a female then?” she asked, stepping into the elevator. God grinned a playful smile as he pressed the button for reincarnation.
“...Nope. Try your best to win his heart. I’m sure all the BL novels and webcomics you read will help you… maybe. Good luck!” The doors abruptly closed as the lift descended into a blinding light.
…Wait, what…?!!
**NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.**
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