What to do

I was so preoccupied with Brother getting drafted again that I completely forgot that I was trying to not die. That’s definitely Lilith’s side of me acting up way too much. There’s no way Rain would have allowed a lapse in concentration that huge.

That’s virtuous, yes, but both Rain and Lilith took a vow to keep me alive, no matter what, so I need both of them operating at peak capacity. I’m not mad at Lilith since Rain would have acted the same if Bliss was involved, but I need to focus.

So, it’s clear that I’m not getting out of this. No matter what, I’m going to get sent to the Uxak Elite Academy. So instead of thinking about ways that I can just run away, I need to figure out just how I’m meant to survive.

That means assessing the whole situation, yes, but it also means replicating that technique with my Gift that I used in the latest vision. If done right, it should render me effectively immortal. Now, that will require a lot of prep work, so I think it will be better to leave that for when I actually get to school.

That’s because I won’t be able to transport all that I need, but it’s also because it will probably be easy to gather everything that I need there, and easier to do my work there at a school literally dedicated to developing my skills. So as soon as I get my bearings there, I’ll start working on my method of immortality. Of course, it would be infinitely better if I could keep this body, but this is for if my body gets damaged beyond all saving.

Alright, now to assess the situation. I’m capable of inducing visions to myself of some sort of strange reality, and I think it’s likely that they’re actually of the future. Through these visions, I’ve received two possibilities of my death. One of which I believe is a direct result of my actions making the other avoidable.

As for the deaths themselves, they seem to be caused by the same person: that Gifted blonde woman. In the first she ordered my execution, and I was cut down by guards. In the second that man and I defeated her, but she suicide bombed us, which destroyed my body beyond all repair.

So why does this woman want me dead so badly? Is it because of my name, or some other reason? Let’s see, according to one vision, I manipulated the daughter of the Head Mistress into stealing keys of a private library? Is that it? No, that wouldn’t warrant all that hate in her eyes, and it certainly wouldn’t warrant that suicide attack.

Is it because of my name? Would my name generate that much hatred towards me? I don’t think so. My name is a prejudice, yes but I’d need to do something first to warrant such hatred. I wouldn’t have to do much because of that prejudice, but I at least want to think no one’s going to take on look at my name and think to themselves “This woman has to die, at all costs.”

I can’t completely discount that possibility though. What if there’s a group of extremists who want literally any trace of demons gone from this world, and that woman is just acting under their orders? Damn it, that’s actually terrifying. I need to know why she wants me dead. I can’t gather that information unless I induce more visions or I actually meet her. Damn it, I don’t have enough information to make any decisions…

Should my main priority after getting to that school be information, or should it be getting that immortality method up and running? I don’t know. How am I supposed to even figure that out? Well, I have had a lot of visions about life in that school before my death. I definitely have enough time to make connections, so maybe I should prioritize information?

Yeah, the most basic information, and then immortality. The method of immortality is only the absolute backup, something I’ll only use if all other attempts at life fail, but I still want to have it up and running, just in case.

I sit at the dining table, eating my lunch. Mother and Father are having a conversation with Brother, but I’m too focused on other things to really be paying attention. Let’s see, I have to bring my Gift, and I don’t think it’ll be possible to bring a fake, not that there will be any reason to.

So what else should I bring? I have to bring my halberd of course, weapons are allowed, but what else? Those poisons? No, security is probably going to be too tight to keep sampling them, and I don’t have any connections ready to secure more.

What else though? I definitely want to keep some earth spikes ready. I also want to have earth golems ready to deploy at all times, but which ones should I take? Should I just take all of them? I don’t think that my Gift has a storage limit. Yeah, I’ll just take all of them and make more if I feel I need them.

I’ll need changes of clothes, obviously, but is that worth worrying about in this situation? If possible, I’d like some clothes that appear noble like, but are also easy to maneuver in. I also want dress shoes instead of high heels. Having to fight in high heels sounds like a nightmare, I’ll have to avoid that situation.

I walk through the hallway of the mansion, thinking to myself. By pure coincidence, I walk into Sister. Just who I needed to speak with. I walk up to her, and hold my hand out over my ear, signifying I need to tell her something quietly.

She leans down to my level, and I whisper in her ear.

“Get rid of all the poison. I’m not bringing any of it with me.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Oh, and I’d like one more favor before I go. Just one more.”

“What is it?”

“A private room, Sister. It’s too complicated to get across like this.”

“Alright.”

Just this one thing to take care of with Sister, and the rest of my preparations will all be done by myself. Let’s just hope that Sister understands my instructions.

I find myself wandering around the field that Wolstan and I have pretty much torn apart over the years. I unearth yet another huge cube of bedrock, that’s probably about twice my height in each dimension. I actually have to get on all fours, and push my strength and skill up to the absolute limits in order to finally pull it all the way up to the surface.

The point of this is an idea that’s been floating around in my head for a while now. Bliss watched a lot of anime, and she wouldn’t shut up about it, so Rain’s actually quite familiar with the concept of “mecha.” The Lilith part of my brain thought that “hey, I’m actually pretty small. Is there anything stopping me from actually doing something like that?”

This is why having an inner child is important. Sometimes it comes up with absolutely insane ideas you never would have thought of otherwise. Sometimes those ideas are even good.

That’s what I’m doing now. I’m basically creating a giant earth golem that I’ll summon around me using my Gift. Now, I’ll come up with some modifications to it later, but for now it’s just going to be the chest piece that I reside in, and the arms and legs.

This is just a prototype, I’d like the final one to be made of metal, but I haven’t quite gotten metal manipulation down yet, so this is acting as more of a proof of concept than anything. Just to check if I can handle the actual movements of the thing.

Now, as for how I’m going to see… I’d like to have a spell I could use with my Gift to make “cameras'' on the outside, but I’m not that advanced yet, so I’m just going to make an absurdly long slit in the bedrock to look through, even if that doesn’t give me any range of motion at all.

“Hey, Lilith!”

I turn around, and find Brother walking up to me. What is he doing here? Oh no, what is he going to think about me getting out all these blocks of bedrock? How do I explain that in a way that won’t worry him. I’ll disguise it in childlike curiosity, that’s how. That’s how this entire idea started, anyway.

“Lilith, just what are you up to?” He asks me.

“Um… well, it’s a bit embarrassing…” I say, feigning embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about it, you can tell me.”

“Well, I was thinking to myself. I can make earth golems, right? And I can make them really big, right? So I thought, how about I put myself inside of one, and start smashing a bunch of stuff with it?”

Brother’s face seems to be a bit more relieved. “You know, you act so mature for your age now, that I almost forget that you’re really supposed to be a child.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!” I joke, as I play punch him in the leg. This is what siblings are supposed to do, right? 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just that… during lunch you seemed to be really nervous. Is anything on your mind?”

Oh no! Damn it, why was I thinking about the situation during lunch?! Of course I’m going to look worried if I’m thinking about that, and of course Brother’s going to pick up on that! Damn it, I should have been thinking to myself in private! How am I still so stupid?!

“Well now I clearly know something’s wrong. What’s on your mind, Lilith?”

He slowly grabs me and sits me down on his lap, as he sits next to one of my giant bedrock cubes. Damn it, I was letting my expression show? That needs work, absolutely. Man… comparing myself to Brother… I’m still so small. Rain isn’t used to being in such a small body, she was pretty tall for a woman. Am I still not quite used to it?

“Come on Lilith, you can tell me anything.” He says, slowly caressing my hair.

What am I meant to tell him? I mean, I can’t just pretend it’s nothing. Do I tell him I know about Diabolus from Wolstan? No, I don’t want to remind him of that. I’m sure he’s putting on a brave face, and I don’t want to make that harder than it already is?

About how I’m worried about traveling all the way down to Nymet to attend school? I obviously can’t tell him I’m worrying about my life, but maybe I can say that it’s worried about traveling away from family? Yes, given Lilith’s upbringing, me being worried about that is entirely believable.

“Well, I um, got an invitation…”

“Yes?”

“To… Uxak Elite Academy, down in Nymet, and… not showing up isn’t really an option. I’m just scared about having to be so far away from all of you…”

Brother leans down and starts hugging me. It feels really nice. Ah… sibling love. I know for a fact now that Rain never had any siblings, because I definitely would have remembered this emotion.

“And what about that scares you?”

“Well… you know… my name, mostly…”

“I see. I understand why you’d be worried about that. Lilith, I don’t want to lie to you and say that everything will be alright as long as you act nice, because that will give you a false view of reality. I know it will be difficult for you to get along with other children, but I promise you you can find some that you can agree with.

No matter what kind of saint you are, there will always be someone who finds some reason to despise you. That just means the opposite is true. No matter what kind of depraved acts you commit, there’ll always be someone willing to stick by you, it’s just a matter of finding them. Not that I believe you’d do anything bad, of course!”

That’s… he’s actually all right. All of that is correct. That’s actually all unironically helpful. Yes, no matter what I want to do, as long as I look hard enough, and say the right things I’ll always be able to gather allies.

The same is also true. I always have to worry about enemies lying in the dark no matter what actions I take. I’ll always be able to find allies, but I also always have to keep my guard up. Yes, of course, that’s so simple!

“Thank you, Brother! You’re a lifesaver!” I say.

“Uh huh… Lilith, why did I get another bad feeling about how you took my advice?”

“I don’t know. Are you sure you’re not just imagining it?”

“I really doubt that, you can be very devious when you want to be.”

“Well, I’m in a good mood now!” I say, getting up from Brother’s lap.

“Alright, I’m going to get back to building that super huge earth golem. You can go back to whatever it is you were doing. I have a lot on my mind, this is just my way of calming myself down.”