If the fish was truly Fish, he doesn't answer, which isn't surprising given our history with holding a conversation. 

But I couldn't risk losing him or having him become someone's sushi with a side of wasabi, so I do what I do best, and I end up running down the block carrying this enormous goldfish in a plastic container like a crazy person. 

"Oh my God, oh my God!" I blubber as I sprint away from Goldfish Man's stand, on the verge of panicking at this point. "Hold on, Fish! I got you, buddy! " 

I run all the way up the hill towards my house among a long line of brightly colored homes that looked like something straight out of the Goonies, most of them poking out of the bluffs like brightly colored chiclets. They were typical white-picket fence houses that had been around for as long as I could remember, watching me ride my bike down towards town in rain or snow.

I haul Fish up the gravel driveway to my house, where Emilio is waiting for me on the porch, sipping iced tea and munching on chocolate chip cookies made by my older brother, who enjoyed home decorating and baking with the local bake club, which included half the town's geriatric population. 

"Carter!" Emilio calls to me, "Your brother made some bomb ass cookies again! Are you sure he's not single and ready to mingle?"

"Forget him!" I shout back, "We have bigger fish to fry, Emilio! Fish turned into a goldfish!"

"What?" He hollers, "What are you talking about?" 

"He's a goddamn flounder, Emilio!" I stomp up the steps, water sloshing out of the plastic tank in my hands. At this point, Fish was being jostled all over the place and was frantically gulping for fresh water, air, or something. "I ran after him after Anderson freaked him out, followed him to the market, and ran into Goldfish Guy, who handed this giant-ass fish over to me."  

I really wasn't an expert on goldfish, or guys who turned into giant carps, so I was at a loss here.

"Wait. Slow down!" Emilio follows me into the house when I pass by, "Go back to the part where your boyfriend turned into a tuna again. I wasn't sure if I heard that right. "

I throw open the front door and head inside, passing our cluttered living room where my brother, Crow, sits partially obscured by the sofa, the top of his black-dyed hair poking out from the top, head bobbing as he listens to some kind of depressing emo band from the 2000s. 

"Hey, mermaid-boy!" He calls to me, "Mom wants us to order pizza tonight since she's working late again. What do you want? "

"I don't know!" I shout back, and I run past him, "I'm kind of busy right now!"

"Everyone always is," Crow replies morbidly, and I stomp upstairs and make a beeline right for my bedroom, Emilio on my heels, chattering away the entire time. 

"This is crazy! You do realize this is crazy, right? "

"It's a fish, Carter! "What, are you going to deep fry him and squeeze a little lemon juice over him?"

I open the door to my bathroom and head for the giant clawfoot tub, ignoring Emilio the entire time I'm adjusting the water to what I hope is the right temperature for a goldfish.

"You know, I knew there was going to be trouble when dear old dad decided to move us to this crazy ass town three years ago," Emilio continues, examining his reflection in the mirror for zits. "I mean, this is where they filmed the Goonies and Free Willy. I'm surprised I haven't caught you riding a fucking killer whale into the bay like a maniac. "

I dump the goldfish into the water and it makes this massive splash when it slaps its tail violently, successfully sloshing me and Emilio in seconds.

"Oh, fuck!" Emilio shrieks, "This is my favorite shirt! Your dumb fish just ruined my outfit! "

"Dude," I reply, "I'm literally trying to save our classmate from drying up like a dehydrated piece of jerky right now. Who cares about your stupid shirt? "

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Crow suddenly demands from the doorway. "It feels like I'm watching a bunch of five-year-olds right now."

Emilio and I both turn around to face the older boy, who's dressed from head to toe in his best emo clothes, including a Black Veiled Brides T-shirt and ripped up skinny jeans that are way too tight for his ass.

"Carter thinks the new kid at school turned into a fish!" Emilio blurts.

"Shut the hell up!" I slap his arm as hard as I can, and he yelps, then shoots me an annoyed look.

"Huh?" Crow looks skeptical, "Are you talking about the guy who showed up ten minutes ago before you guys burst in like there was a fire upstairs?" 

"Wait," I say, completely taken aback, "What guy?"

"Um... I think he said his name was Creed-Something. " Crow replies, and then he shrugs, "But, I don't really give a fuck about your kiddie problems, so... whatever. I'm ordering a pineapple and ham pizza with jalapenos. Kiss my ass if you don't like it. "

"Oh my God!" Emilio squeals once Crow vanishes back downstairs, "Creed's actually here in your house!"

Oh.

Shit.