Amy

I wave cheerfully at Dylan and drive away. It is not until I stop at the first stoplight that the first fat teardrops slide down my cheeks. Dabbing my cheeks with my hands, I check my make up in the dashboard mirror and give myself a big smile. It’s genuine. Breaking up with Dylan is the definition of bittersweet.

 I was telling the truth when I said that Dylan was my best friend. He and I truly care about each other, and I never doubted that, but I knew that how he felt about Bryce would not disappear. Whether Dylan wanted to act on his feelings or not was his choice and I promised myself that I would not stop him if he wanted to pursue Bryce. You’d understand if you knew them. They have the kind of connection that people write love songs about. Who would want to stand in the way of that?

You might be thinking that I didn’t really love Dylan if I was willing to let him go. That’s not true. Dylan is exactly the type of guy I’ve always dreamed of. Some girls may wish for a more domineering guy, but I like men who speak to me softly and aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. Men who know how to tell the truth without being harsh and who make others feel at ease in their presence. 

Dylan has such an open, affectionate spirit. Even the way he makes love is gentle, but that’s not to say he isn’t passionate. He just has a quiet strength about him. I fell in love with him, and I challenge anyone he allows the chance not to do the same. That is why I couldn’t ignore his distress last night.

When we left the photoshoot, Dylan was in a snippy mood, which was uncharacteristic for him, especially with me. As we were leaving, I tried to grab his arm to get his attention. I could tell he was angry, and I wanted to make sure he was okay.  Dylan pushed me away from him with enough force to make me lose my balance and I fell on my bottom. I was obviously stunned and I could not stop the tears that filled my eyes. Dylan has never been rough with me, or anyone else to my knowledge.

He was immediately apologetic, and he helped me to my feet. After he was absolutely convinced that I was okay and I was not upset with him, we went to his car. When he went to start the car, I put my hand on his to stop him.

“Dylan, we need to talk.”

“I’m really sorry that I pushed you. I’m not sure what was going through my head. I promise I will never do anything like that again.”

“Good. But that isn’t what we need to talk about.”

Dylan paused and looked at me searchingly with his dark eyes. His face showed that he is worried about what I said. I looked at my boyfriend whom I loved and then I decided that it was time to tell him what was on my mind.

“Dylan, why were you angry?”

Dylan shifted in the driver's seat and stared forward.

“It’s nothing. Just something I have to get over.”

“Do you have to get over it, or is it something you need to face?”

Dylan didn’t answer so I went on.

“You seemed to get angry around the time Bryce hugged me.”

Dylan’s eyes widened and snapped to my face.

“Dylan, how did you feel when Bryce and I hugged?”

Dylan blinked a few times while looking down.

“I was…annoyed.”

I nodded.

“Why?”

“He…I mean…he kept smiling at you and touching you.”

“You’re not usually a jealous person. What was different this time? Do you think Bryce likes me?”

Dylan shook his head.

“Do you think I like Bryce?”

“No. Even if you did, I trust you. I know you would not purposely do anything to hurt me.”

I nod my head again. Here I go.  

“Do you think you like Bryce?”

“What do you mean? Do I like him? Why would you say that? Do you think I like him?"

Dylan’s questions came out in a rush. He was starting to breath heavily and his hands gripped the steering wheel too hard. I rubbed his arm and cooed at him until he settled down a bit.

“Dylan, I am going to tell you something I shouldn’t. I believe Bryce is in love with you.”

“What? No! It’s just fanservice. You know that.”

“I know Bryce. I’ve known him longer than you have, and he is different with you. Sure, flirting is part of our job, but his words and actions towards you go beyond that. Beyond friendship even.”

 “We’re close, yes, but just as friends. I doubt he is thinking anything else.”

“If you’re sure, you’re sure. But I really think you should take another look. The next time you two are together, really look at the way he treats you and listen to the way he speaks. I think you’ll find out what everyone around you already knows.”

Dylan searched my face once more.

“You’re serious? Are you saying you want me to see if he is in love with me? That’s odd advice coming from my girlfriend.”

I took a deep breath. I was about to break my own heart. At least Bryce would be there to soothe Dylan.

“I think that we need to take some time apart for now.”

“You’re breaking up with me?

Dylan instantly began crying. Tears stung my eyes, but I had to be strong.

“Listen, Dylan, if we stay together with the way things are, eventually it will come between us. I love you so much, and I see you in my future, even if we aren’t a couple. I don’t want to lose you completely.”

Dylan whimpered and then pulled me into his arms, burying his face in my shoulder. I cried with him for a while, and, when there were no more tears, I kissed his forehead and stepped out of the car. Before I closed the passenger side door, I got his attention.

“Text me when you get home…And you’d better still meet me for breakfast tomorrow. We are friends first, okay.”

Dylan mustered up a sad smile. Once I was on sidewalk, he drove away.

The next morning, I got a text for Dylan asking if I was ok. I said I was. After some cheerful banter, Dylan texted that he hates when I am right. I immediately texted back.

“Right about what?”

“Amy, please don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“Oh ho! I’m calling you. We can’t discuss this over text!”

I sent the last text with a lot of scandalous emojis. Dylan sent a sticker of a cartoon cat giving side eye.

“Why does it seem like you are enjoying this? And don’t call, you’ll wake up Bryce. I’ll meet you at our usual breakfast place around 9?”

“Because I am enjoying this. Wait. Wake up Bryce?”

“I was upset so he came over and spent the night.”

“Whhhaaaatttt???? Dang, you guys are fast.”

“It’s not like that.”

“What is it like then?”

“He thought I was having a panic attack last night and I didn’t correct him. He usually holds me until I fall asleep or calm down when I am like that. I’ve never woken up first. Now he’s holding me hostage.”

I will admit, there was a slight pang in my heart, but I reminded myself not to be selfish. What is mine will always be mine. If it isn’t mine, I won’t try to hold onto it because that drives people crazy.

“Pics or it didn’t happen.”

After about a minute, I got a ping on my phone. Dylan had managed to snap a photo of himself with a sleeping Bryce’s arm draped over him. That definitely made things more real for me. Not that I was in denial at all. I sent him a quick reply.

“Wowza! Can’t wait to see you so I can tell you I told you so! See you a 9.”

The talk we had at breakfast made me hopeful for our friendship. I’m sad now, but I know eventually I will move on and Dylan and I will still be friends. In the meantime, I need be busy to keep my mind from obsessing.

As if on cue, I get a text from Brian, my agent, asking if I have time to talk. I decide to call him instead of texting back.

“Brian! Good morning!”

“Good morning, Amy. You sound chipper today.”

Brian’s deep, familiar voice is soothing to my nerves. I am glad that he can’t see my face right now, or he would see right through my cheeriness. Thank goodness for my voice acting skills."

“I just had breakfast with Dylan. You asked if I am busy?”

“Yes. I wanted to meet with you about your projects for the next six months. There are some new opportunities and changes in your existing schedule.”

Brian could just tell me what to do, but he and I have developed a collaborative partnership. He started as the assistant to my original agent, Marta McCain, when I first started acting. He became my main agent a few years ago when Marta abruptly retired to move to Malta and write screenplays. Brian took over her entire roster almost seamlessly since he already had a working relationship with the talent under her wing.  Now I appreciate his input as much as he values mine.

“Ok. When is the best time to meet you?”

“Do you have time now or any time before 2pm?”

“Sure. Be there in 15 minutes.”

“Great. Before you get off the phone, Candy wanted to know if you want to send flowers to Dylan for your anniversary and if you would approve the number of cupcakes for Dylan’s birthday party.”

Candy is my assistant. I look at my phone and realize I have missed a few texts from her.

“Thank you. I will text her back.”

“Awesome! See you soon.”

I let out a long breath. I’m just now realizing that Dylan and I had chosen an interesting time to break up.