Chapter 5 Continued

"I'm sure he'll be okay. He's strong. This is what's better for both of us." I muttered, wincing as the pain in my chest began to flare painfully and the fog of the painkillers began to lift. My foot tapped rapidly as I strained to deal with the pain, the need to take another pill becoming almost overwhelming. Osias's gaze shifted to my rapidly moving foot for a moment before looking back up at me. I could tell he didn't believe me in the slightest as he gave me a challengingly inquisitive look, but after a moment of searching he simply sighed. 

"Listen, I know there's more to this but I can feel Berlin's exhaustion so I need to take over watching the pups. We'll talk later, okay?" I nodded and let out a breath, both of us going to stand. I immediately moved to rush from the room in search of my beloved pills, but to my surprise I suddenly felt Osias's strong arms wrap around me. I pushed back the sudden, unexpected urge to cry at the act of genuine concern from the only real friend I'd ever had, biting the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw blood as torturous words flashed across my mind once again. 

If you are vulnerable, you are nothing.

"Whatever dude, I said I'm fine." I growled instinctually, pulling away from his embrace. I could quite literally feel my soul at war - my longing to not be lonely versus with the morals that'd been ingrained into me from the day I was born. 

"I'm sure you are." Osias sighed, taking one last look at me with a sad smile before silently walking out of the room. 

I waited a long moment until I was sure he was gone before walking out of the room toward the infirmary. It felt as if there was an itch underneath my skin that I couldn't reach and the pain in my chest was reaching ridiculous levels. I almost fell down the stairs as a particularly painful spasm shook me, my entire body burning. I quickly stumbled down the hallway, the infirmary door in view as I breathed heavily, my mind transfixed and mouth watering for the pills that left me in a state of careless bliss. I craved the feeling of the drug entering my bloodstream, leaving my cool and numb, deadening my confusing emotions that grew more and more complicated as the days passed. 

I needed it.

I craved it.

I almost collapsed to the ground with pain as I crashed through the infirmary door, my vision hazy around the edges but hyper-focused on the fingerprint-access medicine cabinet across the room. Luckily, being Beta gave me access to everything in the pack, aside from Osias's personal Alpha apartment in the far end of the pack house. I was so close to passing out from the pain when I finally pressed a sweaty thumb to the sensor. 

Beep!

I cursed under my breath when the light turned red, denying me access to what I needed most. Assuming it was due to my sweaty thumb, I frantically rubbed my hands against my shirt in an effort to dry them before pressing my thumb against the sensor once more. 

Beep!

"FUCK!" I nearly roared when the light turned red again. I was hyperventilating at this point, my vision wavering as I tried again and again, confused and apoplectic with rage, desperate for the fucking machine to just fucking comply with me. 

"It won't work."

I whipped around in shock at the sound of Osias's voice behind me, my knees so close to giving out. He stood in the doorway to the infirmary with his arms crossed and eyes laden with concern. Regardless of how much he cared however, at that moment he was the only thing between me being rid of this bitter pain.

"I- I- Please! I need it! You- You don't understand!" I screamed in agony, tugging at my hair, my chest burning as if it was engulfed in liquid nitrogen and molten lava at the same fucking time. 

I looked up at Osias, pleading for him to give me what I needed. He simply shook his head.

"Benji noticed an unusual number of painkillers missing from his medicine supply a few days ago. And after looking at the fingerprint sensor logs, it seems as if you'd been coming here every day and taking medicine." He spoke softly, explaining the situation with an unusual level headedness to his tone. "I noticed you'd been... off lately. And once Benji explained the side effects of the opiate, it all made sense." 

At this point, the pain was so intense that I was on all fours, panting ferociously in an effort to get oxygen to my burning lungs. My eyes were fixated on a spot on the floor, which was all I could do as I tried to focus on staying alive, the burning pain spreading from my chest to my limbs, licking my nerves and setting them ablaze.

"You need help, Ortiz. And these these drugs are not the answer." Osias's voice got closer as he crouched, setting a hand on my back. I recoiled away from his touch, growling low in my chest as the burn intensifying in the place where his hand was. I licked my dry lips in an effort to give them moisture, forcing my vocal cords to croak out a few words.

"You... Don't... Understand..." My breathing was extremely labored as I begged, not knowing what else to do to convince him that those pills held the key to my survival. 

"But I do. I've seen this before. You need him." Osias's voice was still soft as ever as he spoke to me, but even so they felt like daggers to my ears. 

My body stiffened, my neck snapping up from the floor as I suddenly felt Corey's hulking presence in the doorway, his eyes flashing with concern. My body reacted immediately, with Luka whimpering in the back of my mind. I breathed a sigh of relief as the red hot hand of pain slightly released its hold on my lungs, but I stiffened as yet another callous reminder echoed its way through my psyche. 

If you are vulnerable, you are nothing.

Submit to nothing.

Submit to no one. 

I gritted my teeth, using the slight burst of power from the pain subsiding to push Osias away with a growl before standing up and ducking around Corey's frame in the doorway, bolting for freedom. The hairs on the back of my neck raised from my brief proximity with my mate. 

But then, 

Approximately five feet later,

I ran into a wall. 

My eyes bulged and the breath was viciously yanked from my body as I was suddenly brought to a standstill. I tried to run further, but my feet simply wouldn't move. They couldn't move, no matter how much I strained against whatever force was keeping me in place. It was as if someone'd attached an invisible collar to my body and tethered it to the strongest steel pole. 

Fuming, I whirled around in my spot (since I obviously couldn't go any fucking further), ready to scream at Osias at the top of my lungs for this practical joke that I didn't find funny at all. However, the looks on both of their faces when I turned were anything but comical.

Corey looked just as stunned as I was, his face red as he haphazardly stumbled a few feet closer to me. I knew he had to be serious because Corey never haphazardly did anything. He was born to be a warrior, all of his movements and actions were always calculated, down to a T. Osias also looked completely confused at the situation, seemingly trying to read our faces for what the hell just happened. 

I tried to step a few steps back again, but as soon as I maxed out the space of 5 feet that Corey had shortened when he stumbled towards me, I felt the tug again. Still painful, but less so because I wasn't sprinting this time. Corey had the same reaction, wincing as he stood and stared at me. 

It was as if there was an invisible rope connected between Corey and I, not allowing us to go any further than roughly five feet away from one another. 

I almost threw up.

This had to be a cruel, sick, barbaric, nefarious - and all of the other words that are bad - joke. 

It had to be. 

Then, when I was absolutely sure I wasn't going to throw up and after a long moment of stunned silence...

I completely lost it, screaming at Corey from the top of my lungs. 

"What the fuck did you do to me!?"