Andrei stopped into Alexi’s office to pick up paperwork for the club well, Ryer stayed out in the hall. Andrei looked at me before looking back at the hall.

“Oh. It’s a lover’s spat.”

“We are not lovers.” I hissed.

“Here is your paperwork,” Alexi said before passing it off to him.

“Bring Ryer back in one piece,” I said quietly.

“I’ll try,” Andrei said before heading out of the office.

Alexi narrowed his eyes at me.

“Bring Ryer back in one piece, My god Sasha, you are in over your head. That right there is called falling in love with someone, you care about him.”

“I don’t, I just don’t——”

“You want nothing to happen to him and the thought of something hurting him makes you ill. Welcome to love my friend, buckle up because it gets so much worse.” Alexi chuckled.

I looked at Creed to see if he was going to be offended by Alexi’s comment, but no. He actually looked like he agreed with him about the whole thing. I hated they were both in agreement about this.

“It’s not that bad Sasha. So you’re falling in love with Ryer, He can be a pretty decent guy. Or is it because he is a man and not a woman?”

“No, that’s not the reason, his gender is the least of my worries, Ryer is hardly the first guy I’ve been attracted to. I’m pretty far from straight, but I’m also not gay.”

“So you’re bisexual then?” Alexi asked, pretty interested in knowing.

“Honestly, If I had to give myself a label I’d fit more into the pansexual label.”

“Yeah, that fits too then.”

“Then the problem is Ryer?”

“The problem is me. I am the largest problem.”

“Details on why you are the problem, please.”

“It’s simple, I’ve never been in love, I don’t even know how to connect with anyone on that level. Shit, Every single sexual encounter I’ve ever had has either been a one and done or casual fucks with people who I don’t even see as friends.”

“So it’s the being in love thing that is the confusing part.”

“No. It’s more than just that, It’s all the feelings that have invaded, it’s the want to be closer to him, it’s the fact I went from being a perfectly single man to now if I think about sleeping on my own it pisses me off.”

“Sasha, give it time. I promise you it will go away, and you won’t even remember how it felt to be this confused. Trust me, I wrote the book on this shit. Now, how about we get down to some business-related shit?” Alexi said.

“Alright.”

“I need your bank account number, cellphone and just about everything else.”

“Right, I’m going to need to get my wallet then.”

“Go then, hurry back.”

Coming back, I handed Alexi my wallet and told him to help himself. Well, he worked on filling out some things; he was asking me other questions.

“So exactly how much of a dent are you going to put in my budget?”

I looked at Creed, who looked back at me with the same look.

“Anything I need that isn’t standard, I can get for myself, I have a bit of playable cash, I’m not loaded, but I don’t exactly need to work.”

“Oh yeah? Got paid the big bucks?” Creed teased.

“Hardly, I just spent none of it, and got a large payout from other things.”

“Ah, That makes sense.”

Alexi went back to work before he looked at me with a nasty glare he normally reserved for those that fucked up his budget.

“Sasha I’ve given you a bit more than I would like to for the first few months in your budget, That’s for all the shit you are going to need to get. After that, Massive bills need to be signed off by both Maddox and me. I’m sure we will give you a proper rundown of how the paperwork works.”

“Thank god.”

“You can ask me questions about any of the paperwork at any time, and for god’s sake, don’t think just because Maddox is setting you up in the office across the hall that you stop coming here to hang out.”

“I’ll be here more than I will be in my office, I can promise that.”

“Oh, and if you have a meltdown, the good doctor is only right next to us. Yell and scream load enough and he will appear.” Alexi said.

“Good to know.”

I hung out with Alexi and Creed till around eleven just talking and helping with some paperwork that Alexi had. They had been nice enough to fill me in that Ryer most likely wouldn’t be back until two or three at the soonest. So I had some time to kill. I didn’t want to bug Alexi and Creed anymore, So I didn’t bother asking them if they wanted to drive around with me for a while.

I only headed back to Ryer’s wing to grab my keys and shoes. My SUV was still parked on the front lawn along with some of the other personal vehicles, that didn’t fit the garage. Lukas and Andrei’s truck which had to stay outside because Lukas bought a new car was among them. It was pretty close to Alexi’s car but was bright red. I had seen pictures when he got it after I first got out of the hospital.

Getting into my SUV, I moved the seat back the way I liked it and started the car. I was surprised to find it was full of gas and my check oil light was gone. If I remembered, I was going to ask Ryer about it. I passed Lukas and his red sports car, as I was leaving the complex. He gave me a wave before continuing on his way. He must have just been finishing up from work.

There was a beach only about forty-five minutes away from the complex. It seemed to be the best spot to just stop and debate everything I was doing. I linked my phone to the radio and put on my playlist, cranking the volume and jamming out.

The thoughts about how I didn’t want to join the endless list of people Ryer had slept with seemed to roll back into my thoughts and it seemed so stupid to think about that now, more so when I was no better. I was just as bad.

Parking in the sand, I got out and hopped up on the hood. Just watching the sky. It was windy, but it was a warmer wind. So it was pretty easy to tolerate. My thoughts drifted to Ryer and about what he might be doing right now and hoped he was safe and not having too bad of a time.

Laying back, I just watched the stars in the sky. It had been a long time since I had done this, just relaxed and watched the stars with not a single care in the world. Everything could wait until after this point.

I had an alarm set for two at the soonest so that I could drive back and make it either before or just after Ryer. The wind started to get colder, so I went back into the SUV and opened the moon roof so I could still watch the stars. I broke out laughing when I thought about telling Ryer how I spent my night looking at stars for hours because it was relaxing. He would probably look at me funny.

The alarm sounded, and I sat there for a few minutes more, not even thinking twice about it. Breathing in one last good deep breath of the clean air, I started my SUV and backed out onto the dirt road again. I rolled all the windows down as I drove back towards the complex. My music was moderately loud since I was on all dirt roads it really didn’t matter. No one was going to hear it unless they drove by me.

I made a quick stop in town at the corner store by the station that was open twenty-four hours, seven days a week and grabbed some kind of flavoured water. I needed a drink in the worst way. I made a mental note as I drove by my apartment to find out from Maddox if I would be keeping it or not. Since he seemed to have all the others living in the building.

It was about three ten when I finally got back to the complex and the big black truck beside my empty spot told me Ryer was home again. Pulling into the spot, I made sure all the windows, the moon roof and everything were closed and sealed before I shut it off.

I barely made it back in the door of Ryer’s. He was sitting at the kitchen table; the chair turned towards the door, his tie undone, his suit jacket hung over the back of the chair, the sleeves of the dark grey shirt rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons popped open. I would have guessed he might have still been mad at me, but I could focus on anything other than how good he looked this way.

“Where did you go, Sasha?”

Slipping my shoes off, I picked them up and carried them to the trash; I dumped the sand out of them into the bag. Before setting them on the top of the trash can.

“To the beach, to watch the night sky.”

“I see, You could have texted me to let me know.”

“I thought you were too busy with work so I didn’t bother, hell, I intended to be back before you got back, but I stopped to get a drink in town.”

“Next time, text me and let me know.”

“Alright,”

He stood up, and I got a good look at him in his suit. He cleaned up really nicely.

“Hey, Ryer,”

“Hmm?”

“The monkey suit looks sharp on you.”

He looked at me with an eyebrow raised. I closed the space between us and wrapped my arms around him and enjoyed the moment. The scent of pine was ever-present, and I smiled softly before I let go of him.

“Just a moment longer than I’ll let you go,” Ryer said lowly.

True to his word, he let me go. I walked to his bedroom stopping in the doorway to look at him, before speaking truthfully,

“Don’t be too long, the bed just isn’t the same when you’re not in it.”

My heart rate was in a panic as I stepped into the dark, dropping my sweater on the floor, setting my keys and phone on the nightstand. I didn’t regret what I said; it was the truth after all, and he needed to know that. I peeled off my sweatpants and flung them to the floor.

The bed was cold on my bare skin. This was the first time I had gone down to boxers in Ryer’s bed, this was honestly me being lazy but another part of me hoping that if we just laid skin to skin, it would help us be closer. I closed my eyes well I waited for Ryer to join me.