Ryer was gone when I woke up and that annoyed me a bit, but then I remembered his words from last night and my annoyance with him grew. But now it wasn’t him I was annoyed with, but rather me. I had confessed that my feelings were messed up; I knew I should have just kept them to myself.

Heading downstairs after getting dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and an LHPD sweater, that I didn’t pack, Ryer did. My back was a little sore, but it wasn’t too terrible, I might even be able to go for a light jog. Ryer was sitting at the table with my parents having a conversation. Which seemed to end the moment I sat that the table. Snagging an apple off the table, I got up and left the kitchen. I ate the apple before deciding to commit to the jog.

My keys for my SUV were on the hook on the wall and I snagged them as I walked out the door and down the little bit of the driveway both to test my back and the weather outside. Opening the trunk I pulled my shoes out and pulled them on my feet. I walked back up to the house only to open the door and toss my key on the top of the table by the door.

One lap around the neighbourhood proved to be a decent amount of work for my back to handle, but I pushed it to two laps just to extra and make my back understand that this was just the beginning of the hell I was going to put it through.

After the two laps, I headed back into the house and was sweating just slightly. Ryer was pacing the foyer his phone to his ear.

“Do you not know how to answer your phone, I’ve called you six times.” He said, his tone icy.

“I don’t have my phone, It’s up in my bedroom on the dresser, I’m pretty sure it’s dead. What’s up?”

“Where were you?”

“Jogging. Did something happen—-”

“Jogging? You went fucking jogging, Christ Sasha you are still recovering, What would make you think that was a good idea?”

“It’s a me problem, I don’t see why you care so much,” I said, kicking my running shoes off and using the sleeve of my sweater to wipe the thin layer of sweat off my forehead.

Ryer looked less thrilled by my answer than normal. My back was slightly sore, but I was managing it just fine. I felt better after being able to do the two laps. Both mentally and physically. I walked past Ryer into the kitchen and grabbed a cup before getting a glass of tap water and drinking the whole thing down. He stood there his arms crossed in annoyance.

“We are supposed to be doing your recovery together Sasha, this will not help you at all.”

“I’m handling it just fine. I can figure my problems out on my own.”

“Is this about my comment——”

“Nope, I’m sick and tired of sitting around and not doing what I want to.”

Ryer narrowed his eyes at me not buying a single word of my bullshit.

“When you have a hard time walking tomorrow and are in massive amounts of pain, Sasha, Remember that you said you are handling it just fine and can figure out your problems on your own.”

I watched Ryer help my mother with her garden all afternoon; He was helping her plant and weed and many other tasks. My father sat beside me on the deck and watched too.

“He’s very polite and helpful, good guy.”

“Him, sure.”

“You two got into a fight didn’t you?”

“Not so much.”

“Hmm, Sasha I won’t judge you for your choice of who you are involved in romantically or otherwise. You can be honest with me.”

“I don’t talk about my feelings, there is no point.”

“It’s clear there is something between you two, he had nothing but high praises for you all morning well we were discussing you and how things have been going for you.”

“That’s nice of him more so after last night he was clear my mess of feelings were my problem, not his.”

My father frowned.

“I think you might be reading too much into the comment alone and not what caused it or the entire picture.”

“This is why I don’t do relationships,” I said flatly.

“Whatever the reason, he is not the only one to blame. It takes two to fight and you are more prickly now than ever.”

“I am aware of this.”

“It’s because of the spine right?”

“I can't do things I normally would, I can’t work, I can’t run, I can’t work out, Hell I can barely drive. I’m supposed to sit on my ass and just heal, But I feel useless and I hate this.”

“If you don’t heal properly now, you will have more issues down the road.”

“It doesn’t help that every single day my feelings for a man I wanted nothing to do with, deepen.”

“I can’t offer much help here Sasha, I want to but I’m not sure what to tell you.”

The sun was warm and I honestly could have just fallen asleep there in the chair, but Ryer and my mother came to sit down a little while later. I felt his hand on my knee.

“You shouldn't fall asleep out here in the sun, you will get a sunburn.”

Truth was, I would have gone inside but my back was seized up and without his help, I couldn’t get up, but I would not tell him that. It would only prove that he was right and I would not let him have that victory.

“I’m fine here. The sun is warm and I like it.”

“When you want to go inside let me know and I’ll help you.” He said softly.

“Sasha, are you able to dine out? I would hate for you to be uncomfortable if we go out for dinner.”

“I should be able to manage that.” High off my ass on pain killers.

“Alright, you both eat Chinese cuisine?”

“Still my favourite.”

“I am more than down for a good Chinese meal,” Ryer said politely smiling at my mother. I wondered how long he could keep up this act of his, being polite and well mannered here. Hell, this was not the same man I fought with at the complex, unless it was behind closed doors here of course.

Ryer helped me inside as the sun started to go down and I bit my lip to keep from cursing at him as he yanked me up from the chair. He took me back to my room and dished me out some pain meds. But not the good ones.

“I want the ones Alessio gave me.”

“Oh no, this is a good lesson of when not to push it.”

“Fuck off.”

“Those are dirty words coming from someone who said they were fine and didn’t need my help.”

“This is hours later.”

“I told you it would hurt.”

“You just have to be right don’t you?”

“It has little to no reason with having to be right, Sasha.”

I kept my mouth shut. I wanted the tell him it had everything to do with him wanting to be right, but then I would just be making this worse than it currently was. He left the room and came back with a couple of icepacks.

“Did you tell them how bad my back is?”

“No. Not in the slightest, I asked them if they had ice packs I could use for your three times weekly cold treatment to heal your back faster, and It wasn’t exactly a lie.”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t do it for you, Sasha, This is me being selfish because I want good Chinese food,” Ryer said chuckling.

He helped pull off my sweater and the t-shirt underneath. His fingers brushed my back, and he groaned.

“You’re really sweaty.”

“Yes, I would have warned you, but that’s a you problem.”

His fingers felt heavenly on my back. But it wasn’t his fingers that I was actually thinking about. I was more deeply thinking about how he kissed me in this room last night, his hand tightly gripping my chin as he brushed his lips over mine.

“Why did you kiss me last night?”

“I’m sorry, it was an accident.”

“Oh.”

“It won’t happen again.”

That frustrated me because I wanted him to kiss me again, I needed to know why I felt like this for him. No one, not even the few people I had sex with felt like this. I wanted to blame the close contact with him, but I had been in close contact with plenty before and it had never happened.

Why was I so invested emotionally in Ryer?

It made little sense to me. The touch of the ice pack to my back made me jump.

“You could have warned me,” I mumbled.

“I did, Twice, you were somewhere else thought it seemed.”

“Yeah, I have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Talk to me about it?”

“I would, But I just don’t feel like it’s wise to do right now.”

“Alright, I’m here to listen when you're ready to talk.”

I hated how much of my emotions this man controlled without even realising it, or if he did, he didn’t play into that he did. My head was a mess. I had never wanted another human the way I wanted Ryer. The more I was realising it, the more forbidden it was feeling.