Monday, February 10th

With a soft sigh, Eden waved Dean in from the hallway. “What are you doing just standing out there? Come inside.”

“I didn’t know...” He hesitated another moment, then gingerly stepped in and shut the door behind him, glancing between the three as if he would be scolded any minute.

Justin, in his always cheerful, friendly way, stepped forward and stuck out an arm. “I don’t think we’ve ever properly met,” he greeted, wrapping his fingers around Dean’s uncertain hand with a grin. “I mean, we’ve seen you on campus and said hi I guess, but...”

Now that the crisis was averted, or at least downgraded to a minor concern, the whole situation grew awkward. Justin elbowed his girlfriend, who managed a partial smile and light nod. “Yeah, hi. Welcome. Thanks, for coming when I called you.”

“Of course!” Dean spit out, a bit too energetically. “You said it was an emergency.”

Eden groaned. “Yeah, okay. Enough of this.” He turned to his roommates, pointing a finger at his bedroom. “I think we need to talk, so...”

“We were just leaving.” Taking a confused Alex by the shoulders, Justin turned her toward the door, grabbing his wallet, coats, and keys on the way out. Eden could hear her muffled complaining slowly dissipate down the hallway.

Without saying anything, Eden headed into his bedroom. Dean followed behind him like a scared puppy, then halted in the doorway as Eden sat on his bed. He gently pat the edge of the mattress. It felt kind of wrong, coaxing him to his side like this. After closing the door, Dean joined him, his head still low and his gaze averted.

Before dealing with that problem, Eden grabbed his phone and powered it on. Finally, it began to ding, one after another after another. It looked like crazy Alex alone had sent him over fifty messages. Scrolling through, he didn’t see anything from Auggie, so he pulled her message thread up and texted.

< I heard from Em >

< We aren’t mad, so just go home before she starts to worry >

< Text me to let me know you’re ok >

Setting the phone back on the bedside table, he turned to Dean, who had only grown more timid and pale during the wait.

“Why are you so nervous?” Eden knew exactly why he should be nervous, but didn’t think Dean would have figured that out.

Dean shrugged. “You’ve just never actually told me where you live and now I’m in your bedroom. And I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for your friend.”

That was true. In fact, he wasn’t ready to have this conversation, but it seemed the universe had other plans. It seemed the universe really liked fucking with his life.

“That’s probably true,” he replied honestly, then put a hand on Dean’s thigh. “But that doesn’t mean I’m unhappy about it.”

Barely hazel eyes sparkled and normally smiling lips were uplifted again. Eden smiled a little in return. With a heavier groan, expelling the stress of yet another strangely eventful day, he fell back onto the mattress with a thud and pulled his arms behind his head.

“It’s been a confusing day...” He paused a second, then glanced at Dean’s wide shoulders, already feeling guilty. “Is there anything you want to ask? I’ll tell you, if I can.”

That shocked him, his head snapping around to stare, but Eden only smiled a little wider and a little softer. He really didn’t want to lose this, whatever this was, but he didn’t know how he could keep it. It was probably selfish to even try.

“I guess... I mean... I guess I’d like to know who Auggie is...” Dean stammered the words out, his cheeks slightly pink. It was cute and Eden looked up at the ceiling to avoid laughing.

“Auggie is my younger sister.”

Dean hummed, his smile growing. “You were really worried about her. You must be close.”

“Yeah. I love her more than anything. We’re pretty far apart in age, so our relationship isn’t really just brother and sister.”

“How old is she?” Dean grew a little more comfortable and a little more confident. It made Eden’s heart hurt.

“Twelve,” he said, finally turning to look at him. “So, I was her age when she was born, I guess.” He huffed out a small laugh. “Time really flies.”

Dean only nodded. It seemed like he had more questions, but he wasn’t sure he should ask them, so Eden sat up and shifted a little closer.

“Can I ask a question now?” It came out quiet. He didn’t really want to ask and he felt Dean tense up beside him. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t let this continue. “Do you like me?”

There was no response for several seconds, then Dean lowered his head to look at the floor. “I think you already know the answer to that.”

“Yeah, but I need to hear it. So I can say what I need to say.”

Dean clasped his hands over his lap. “Yeah, I like you.”

The words were so sincere and Eden sighed. He thought he would feel frustrated in this moment, confronted with the hassle of having to turn him down and any reaction that came afterward. Instead, he felt genuinely awful. It was like he was dumping someone without ever being in a relationship. Like he was hurting someone he cared about for his own selfish reasons. Really, Dean was the one who went beyond their agreement, but between the puppy dog eyes and the affection in his tone, Eden felt like a complete asshole.

“Dean... We both agreed we didn’t want a relationship. That this arrangement was beneficial to both of us.”

Dean copied his sigh. Now he was the one who sounded annoyed. “I guess it was difficult for me to have sex with someone for over four months and not feel anything.” He also sounded a little bitter. “Even though I know you didn’t really enjoy it. And that you don’t like me back.”

“Yeah...” Eden wanted to make him feel better, but he couldn’t lie about that. “I don’t really know what to say. But I do like you. Not the way you like me, but you’re a really good guy.”

“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.” The confidence was gone and even Dean's sweet, simple mind knew this wouldn’t end with what he wanted.

“I wish we had met some other way,” Eden confessed. Dean was no longer looking at the floor and Eden locked onto his brown-hazel eyes, feeling just as upset about this. “I think we could have been good friends. I know it’s selfish, but I really hate to lose this...”

Dean huffed out a laugh and looked away again. “That is selfish. But I was selfish too, pretending I was okay just fucking you so at least I’d still be able to see you.”

“We could try. Being friends...” Eden wasn’t hopeful, but he didn’t expect what was said next.

“Who was in the car? Where were you this afternoon?” Dean paused only a second, then added, “Was it that guy, from the restaurant?”

Eden thought of hundreds of different, perfectly plausible excuses - places he could have been, people he could have been with, reasons he hadn’t noticed his phone died. In the end, only one word came out.

“Yeah.”

Dean huffed again, a little more bitter and a little less sweet and innocent. “I saw you leaving campus with him. So thanks, I guess, for telling me the truth. At least I know why you’re bringing this up now.”

He stood and without thinking, Eden reached out for him, grasping at his wrist. “You don’t have to go... You could stay...”

So selfish Eden.

“Really?” Dean asked, but it wasn’t because he was interested or happy to hear it. He said it out of disgust, an emotion Eden had never heard from him. It made his heart drop into his stomach. “I’m pretty sure you would make a really shitty friend.”

Breaking free from his grasp, Dean stomped out, doors slamming behind him. Even through his bedroom window on the third floor, Eden could hear the outer door bang as he exited the building.

Well, at least the conversation is over.

Eden huffed his own bitter laugh.

I really am a piece of shit.