“Thank you for telling me, Logan. Now I’ll at least know what awaits me in there.” Ciaran sighed.
“You’re welcome. Take care.” Logan raised his hand and waved them goodbye before he walked up to his own classroom.
A glimpse told Ciaran that Mael actually waited closely while he got the news. He didn’t have to, but it was nice to know he needn’t walk to the class alone. A faint smile crossed his lips while he nodded at him.
They both set in motion, walking towards their own classroom. Before Ciaran had a chance to take his seat, another person stopped him in his track. He wasn’t too happy to see Helen anywhere close to him. Especially not with her pack of hyenas in the back. These cheerleaders could turn uglier than most guys in school if they were out to get someone.
“Good morning, Ciaran.” Helen’s demeanor didn’t seem feisty, though. “Actually, I wanted to apologize to you about Friday. Pierce told me you had broken up already. I had no idea that you were still in a relationship.”
Was this supposed to be an apology? He wasn’t sure if she wanted to rid herself of guilt by pushing the situation onto the dead man who couldn’t defend himself any longer. Maybe she actually believed the karmic retribution talk that went through school? So, she was out to apologize before the weight or her sins would pull her to hell, too?
“Listen, Helen. To be frank, I don’t care if it were you or Pierce or you both taking the initiative. You both were fully aware what you’re doing. You both knew we were in a relationship and that this was far from ok. If you're telling me, you actually believe he broke up, then you’re either more blind and naive than I thought or you simply wanted to calm your conscience in it. But if you were as surprised as me back there, why did you keep silent throughout the whole talk?”
Ciaran saw her flinch. Perhaps she felt guilty, or it was the shame catching up to her. He wasn’t out to hear any apologies, though. “What I’m getting at is, you were both fully accountable for your actions and their consequences. If you’re looking for my forgiveness, then I’m sorry. I have no intention of accepting a half-baked apology you came up with after a whole weekend. If you really felt so bad, you could have apologized already.”
Her facials told him clearly she hadn’t expected this. Probably because all the boys she ever wronged only looked at her, and the anger vanished when she used her physical charm. In Ciaran’s case, however, all these traits were wasted. “But I’m not out to get any revenge on you if you’re worried about that. I’m not that kind of lowlife, in contrast to certain other people.”
He seated himself and packed out the things for the first lesson. “So I’d actually appreciate if you left me finally alone. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll think about whom you’re cheating on next time.”
Helen cleared her throat to finally find her voice again. “Alright, I understand. But I’m really sorry, Ciaran. I never expected for things to turn out this way.”
He actually believed that, just in a different sense. She probably never expected to be caught in the act, deluding herself it would be alright, just as long as the other person didn’t find out. What the eyes don’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over - wasn’t there a saying like that?
Thinking about it in that sense, he might be lucky to have known Pierce’s true nature before his accident. If he hadn’t caught him, he would now grieve for a man he loved dearly. It pained him still to think about him. A part of him felt empty, knowing they would never see each other gain.
Even with the weekend in between, Ciaran hadn’t had a chance to fully process all that occurred yet. How long did these things take? How many days would continue like that? He was glad to see their teacher entering the room. At least the lesson kept him from thinking about all these things.
With no training on Mondays, he was glad to leave school as soon as possible. The day only passed slowly, with each lesson flowing viciously. The worst thing had been the lunch break. Even though he seated himself close to Mael and managed to escape any actual small talk in his proximity, the gazes didn’t disappear.
Thankfully, Mael acted as an unintentional human shield. His behavior, the height and the fact that barely anyone knew how to talk to him, ensured that no one got any closer to bother Ciaran. Ciaran wasn’t sure if Mael was aware of this and accepted him sticking close, or if he simply didn’t care about it.
Luckily, they had to walk the same streets home anyway, so even after school, no one dared to approach him. He stopped in front of his house, throwing the man who walked with him in comforting silence one last glance. “See you tomorrow, Mael.”
Mael only raised his hand to wave him goodbye before he took the route to the woods.
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