"You don't have to walk me home," I say when we got back to our neighborhood. "I do appreciate your help though."

Logan doesn't answer as if thinks of something. I go to my house, and he follows me.

"Do you wanna like... hang out?" He finally asks trying to sound confident, but this offer can't be any more awkward.

"With a face like this? No thanks. I want to crawl under my bed and get out only when it's over."

"We can go to my place... or yours."

Obviously, he doesn't want to part. And I'm not sure I want to invite him over. But I feel sorta obliged. He helped me, fed me, let me sleep on his bed, and now he helped me to get my phone back.

It's not because of shining! Just the situation... I don't want to be rude. Even if it's Logan...

"I have a very rough night ahead of me. So... I think I need to get ready... somehow..." I make the last attempt to drive him off.

"What's the point?" Logan shrugs. "To think about it. It'll happen anyway, and it'll be bad anyway. So why don't you just fuck it and have a good time while you can?"

"Fuck it and have a good time... your motto?"

"Not bad, huh?" He grins. I shake my head, but actually I feel that he has a point. I'll be on pins and needles all day, that's for sure. On the other hand - hang out with Logan... It's a mystery box.

"Wanna come over?" I gesture to the house. Logan nods and steps forward eagerly.

Logan surveys the hall and the living room when we pass them. In the kitchen, I open the fridge.

"I'm hungry. Are you?" I ask, peeking at Logan from behind the door. Logan took a seat at the table. He nods and looks around.

As I've said, on the outside our houses didn't look very different. But inside... My parents don't smoke, so there's no smell of cigarettes. It's clean and fresh. And there's a home meal in a fridge... If I had a mess on my desk as Logan had, I would be in big trouble. I don't know what Logan thinks. Everyone has an impression of how a home should feel... Logan's home seemed cold and dark. Just that. But maybe for Logan, it's fine just like my home for me.

I put the leftovers of yesterday's dinner on two plates and warm them up in a microwave. I place one plate in front of Logan and take a seat across from him.

"Do you have hot sauce?" Logan asks.

"Um..." I go to the fridge again. "Sweet chili?"

"Will do."

I give him the bottle, and he pours it on his meal like gravy. I'm a little surprised and chuckle. Logan looks up at me.

"What?"

"Didn't know you like spicy food." Oh... that sounded stupid. Of course, I didn't know! How was I supposed to know?! I never wanted to know!

"I can eat anything if it's spicy," Logan grins.

"I can't. My mom loves it though... And dad too. I'm the black sheep in the family," I shrug and start eating.

"You just..."

"Don't say - haven't tasted it." I cut him off. "I have. I don't understand what's good if your mouth is on fire?"

Logan laughs, "Okay, okay... Have your plain food as you like."

"Thank you very much."

Wow... for a second I have a feeling like we are actually friends, trading quips.

As we eat in silence, I glance at the clock from time to time. Logan's presence keeps me distracted, but I can't completely forget about the evening ahead.

"Do you wanna watch TV or..." I ask, taking empty plates away.

"Where is your room?" Logan asks.

"Upstairs."

I got a little nervous at this. I let him into the house but... to let him into my room feels too much.

But I actually slept on his bed... Oh damn...

We go upstairs, and I open the door to my room. Logan enters and gives a quick glance around. He comes to my bed and plops on it. I hold an urge to stop him. The next second he notices my PS and jumps to it.

Having grabbed a joystick, Logan sits on the floor leaning back on the side of the bed.

"Come on!" Logan pats the floor beside him. I take a joystick, switch the console on, and sit right next to him. Our shoulders touch.

The time flew. We played till the room became dark, and the screen was the only light source in the room. Logan was actually fun to play with. And he was even more fun when he lost which wasn't often. The last game we played was fighting. And we were going tight. But I managed to win the last fight though I was on the verge of defeat. And I even jumped when I struck the last blow, and Logan's fighter dropped.

"Yeah! That's how it's done! Woo-hoo!" I smile broadly and happily. And I was about to turn to Logan to see his face, but first, something brushed against my neck. And the next second, his lips, hot and wet, covered my mouth.

And then it's all in a blur. Shining blur.

It goes on forever. The lips open and close again.

Call me weak. I didn't break the kiss. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop myself. I don't think I could have broken this kiss even without shining but with it... It was impossible. So it goes on and on.

I lost a sense of reality, a sense of time, I really stopped thinking and being aware. During this time, I lost all my memories - bad, good - everything. I only felt something incredible, something that I'd never felt before.

"Adam!" Mom's voice sounds somewhere in the distance. And then there's a loud knock on the door. "Adam!"

Logan's lips are still locked with mine. And my mind is cloudy. Like I'm drunk.

"Adam! Are you there?" It's hard to get through shining. But I hear her. It stirs something inside me, but I still can't get a grasp on reality. Mom opens the door.

Logan breaks the kiss, and I open my eyes. It's dark around. But we are shining. Waves are coming through my whole body, the skin is tingling, and my mind is befuddled.

Mom turns on the light and obviously sees our heads behind the bed. She makes her way around the room and looks down at us. I don't raise my head. It's hard for me to raise it, and the light made me blind. So I sit, head down.

"Logan, I presume," says mom coldly. "Please see yourself out. I need to speak to Adam in private."

Logan silently gets up and leaves. I don't see it but hear and feel that our shoulders don't touch anymore.

"What happened?" mom asks. Her voice is stern, she's angry but tries to hold it back. But I don't answer. I feel like I'm drifting in a warm ocean. I just couldn't care less. I'm still in a haze of a dream, still in the middle of the kiss. "You weren't at school today! There was no project yesterday! What happened? Why did you lie to me?!"

No reaction.

"Look at me when I speak to you!" She pushes my head back and sees my face. Stupidly happy face. Though I think she sees my bruised and junkie-high face... She gasps at the sight.

"Did this guy do it to you?" she asks in shock. Why is she worrying so much? I've never been better!

I shake my head. It comes out slower than I expected.

"Get up," she says firmly, then picks me by the elbow and helps me to my feet. I stand unsteadily. Mom walks me down the stairs and to the car.

I don't know where we are going but the distance between me and Logan is growing, this I feel. My consciousness slowly comes back. And by the time we get to the hospital, I only feel a bit tipsy.

We sit in line and mom doesn't talk to me. She was silent all the way here, she doesn't even look at me.

"And please check him... on drugs..." she says to a nurse before I enter the room. A doctor looks at me and offers me a seat.

"Looks serious," says the doctor, pointing at the eye.

"Been worse," I shrug.

"Okay, let's check you up. Did you have a fight or something?"

"I fell," I answer. The doctor starts to examine me. He checks my pupils, asks me to stick out my tongue. And then he asks me to take my hoodie off (actually I'm still wearing Logan's hoodie), and at this, I flinch nervously.

The doctor looks at me questioningly.

"Is everything all right?" he asks.

"Yeah... I mean... I need to... please. Don't tell my mom," I plead.

"About what?" asks the doctor puzzled.

"About anything you'll see."

I pull the hoodie up. The doctor sees shining first and then bruises on my ribs.

"Please..." I repeat.

The doctor sighs heavily.

"Are you sure? If you're in trouble, it's better to tell your parents..."

"I'm not... I'm not in trouble. Yeah, I don't look like it. But... really... those bruises look bad, but I'm not hurt, and those who did this... they are far away. I don't think I'll ever see them again. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... That's all."

"What do you want to hide then? Your shining?"

I nod.

He studies my face for a moment.

"How does it feel?"

"Um... it's fine... I guess... I mean, it actually helps with the pain, and... it's fine. I just don't want my mom to know about it."

The doctor purses his lips.

"You know, I have a daughter of your age... she doesn't like when I try to peek into her personal life, especially if it's about boys..." he exhales loudly. "So... let's run some tests to see if you have a concussion. And your mom insisted to test you on drugs." He looks at me intently, but I just shrug it off.

"If you must."

"Good."

After a while I come back to the hall; the doctor speaks to my mother, showing her the results. I don't have a concussion. No drugs, obviously.

We're going home in silence again. And when I'm back in my room, mom stands in a doorway and finally says, "You're grounded, Adam. No TV, no PS, no money for 2 weeks. And I'll be calling school every day. I hope you understand why. After school, you have to be home."

I don't answer.

"And... that boy... Logan was it?" She adds. My heart makes a flip. "I forbid you to talk to him."

She gives me a serious look and closes the door. I dart a glance at the place where Logan and I kissed. It seems like it was forever ago!

I take a shower, eat dinner in my room, and go to bed. But I can't sleep. I miss it. I miss the feeling.

I look at the dark silhouette of my chair where I left Logan's hoodie hanging. I get out of bed, come up to the chair, and put the hoodie on. Just now I notice that it has a scent. It's Logan's.

I blush. That's just pathetic...

But I justify myself - I need this to sleep, to recover, to get my strength back. And then I can overcome shining.

It's good and all, but... all my dreams that night were only about the kisses.