I hopped out of the water, drying myself with my towel and then trying to wring some of the water out of my hair.  It had been a week since I nearly died, and so far, the merfolk community had been unusually quiet.  Or at least, quiet for a potential threat of war.

When I’d called Bruce the morning after my talk with him and Skye, he’d promised that Skye was taking steps to ensure there wouldn’t be a violent outcome.  He begged me not to do anything yet, give her time to figure out the best way to act.  I agreed only when he’d told me that Skye had promised to let the matter drop if she couldn’t find a peaceful way to stop the Elder.  Well, with the added caveat that she take the whole affair regarding me out of whatever she used to challenge the Elder.  Bruce had sighed, but agreed.

So now, I felt like I was in limbo, waiting to find out if this war was happening.  I’d thought about just asking the twins to leave for their own safety – the threat from that male oceanid kept ringing in my ears – but if I asked them that, I’d have to explain about the whole possible war thing, and then they’d definitely not agree to the idea, so….  Yeah.

We were still at the beachhouse, though I was here alone today.  The boys were in town to make separate calls related to work – cell and internet service at the beachhouse was dismal, so they’d arranged to rent some office space for the day where they could get good internet and make some video calls for their work.

So I was definitely not expecting to have company when I started patting my hair dry with the one towel I’d brought with me as I walked back into the house.  Since I wasn't expecting company, I wasn't as careful about covering myself as I normally was – now that I was back in the house – and had thought it would be safe to just start working on my hair instead.

Vance had apparently just gotten back early and was in the process of taking off his shoes, but now he was just staring at me, mouth slightly opened, as his eyes slowly roamed my body.  When they finally snapped up to my face, his expression was hungry.

Oh, fuck.  This was not what I was going for.  For a moment I froze in place, trying to figure out the best response.  Should I just make a mad dash for the bedroom, where the clothes were at?  Or just…ask him to turn around?  Something?

I decided the best thing for my dignity was to calmly wrap the towel around my waist and then walk towards the bedroom as if that hadn’t just happened, although clearly it had since our eyes had met and I had caught him not-so-subtly checking me out.  Yeah, best to just…pretend that didn’t just happen.

Inside the master bedroom, I grabbed a pair of pants out of the drawer, feeling my face redden slightly, and was about to slip them on when Vance pursued me into the room.  He didn’t even stop before backing me into the wall and then kissing me.  Hard, hungry, passionate.  His hands on my hips, then moving to my back to pull my body closer and my neck to hold my head still.  He paused to kiss my throat, then went back to my mouth while I was still attempting to process what on earth was happening.

“Morgan,” he groaned against my mouth as he paused for a moment to catch his breath, “you are so fucking alluring.”  He lowered his head to my throat again, his mouth against my skin.  “So intoxicating,” he mumbled.

Right, um…brain?  I still had one of those?  I couldn’t quite remember what I was supposed to be doing – I vaguely remembered holding some piece of clothing which I had since dropped and my hands were wrapped around his back automatically, but I was pretty sure that wasn’t what I was planning to do when I walked into the room.

It would be easy to let him just keep going – his hands and mouth felt so good – but I struggled through the haze of lust to remember what I was doing and why this was a bad idea.

“Wait,” I finally managed.  “Not – not this.”

Vance paused the moment I said to wait and reluctantly backed up a bit, giving me some space to breathe while his arms were still planted on either side of me against the wall, effectively trapping me in place.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to push you before you’re ready.”

He stepped back and turned around – though without leaving the room – to allow me to put on some clothes.  “Um, sorry about surprising you – I, uh, got done early and felt bad that you were here alone, so I came back.  I didn’t realize you might be, um, not counting on us being back yet.”

I retrieved the pants and slipped them on, grabbing a shirt for good measure while I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself.

“Well, at least you find me physically attractive,” I muttered to myself.  It was supposed to be too low for Vance to hear, but apparently I miscalculated, because as I went to leave the bedroom – far too risky to remain in there with what just happened – I caught a frown on his face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  He asked as he followed me.

I sighed a little.  “It just means – you were interested in me 10 years ago.  Things have changed since then.”  And there was the whole ability to shift genders, which some people would find a huge turn-off.

“Yeah, you’ve gotten hotter,” Vance agreed, his arms crossed as he watched me intently.  “But we were in love with you back then – it’s got nothing to do with how you look.  It’s got to do with who you are.  Not gonna lie, I really enjoy the way you look, but it’s always been about you, not the external packaging.”

His words were meant to reassure me, probably, but instead they just made my heart ache.  The only thing I could count on was their love for the me of 10 years ago and their physical attraction to the current me.  If the physical attraction was based on their love for the me of 10 years ago…then there was no chance I could ever convince them to stay with me.  I’d briefly hoped, just for a second, that maybe if they liked my body enough – either version of it – that maybe would be enough, at least for a little while, but…even that wasn’t good enough, was it?

“Yeah, who I am,” I grumbled under my breath across the room from him.  “An uneducated, weak nobody with no skills or passions or anything.”

Vance hadn’t heard what I said this time, but he apparently realized I said something he deemed important because he crossed the room and backed me up against the wall again, this time tipping my chin up with his fingertips until I looked into his eyes.

“What did you just say?”  His tone was inquisitive but his eyes were steely, searching my face.

I shrugged and broke our gaze, dropping my eyes towards his collarbone, a much safer zone.  “Nothing important.”

“Morgan.”  Vance nudged my chin again, trying to get me to look at him, and when I refused, he sighed a little.  “I have a feeling it wasn’t something unimportant, but if it really was, would it hurt to tell me?”

Damn him, his perceptiveness, his determination, and his stupid, beautiful, intense eyes.  “I was just pointing out the problems with the object of your affections,” I snapped.

Vance’s brow furrowed.  “Problems?”

“Yeah, all the things you and Hayden keep overlooking because you’re so focused on the me of 10 years ago – you’ve ignored the problems of the me of now.”  I was just frustrated enough to forget that I was trying to hide this side from them for as long as possible, and now I was just about to spell it all out for Vance.  Well, maybe it was for the best – keep us from dragging this out too long.

“Like how I’m worthless as an oceanid, as I’ve been reminded repeatedly, the weakest, most pathetic example of merfolk ever to exist, not to mention I don’t have any skills, I legally don’t exist anymore so I can’t legally work anywhere so menial jobs that pay under the table are the best I can ever do, I never finished high school, let alone college, and basically – basically there is zero reason for you to like me if it weren’t for knowing me from 10 years ago,” I told him angrily, “except I’m not even like that anymore!  The only thing that has stayed the same is me physically, and that – even that is debatable.”

I looked away from him, taking a shuddering breath as I folded my arms across my chest defensively.  “I’m waiting for you to both wake up and realize that who you’re in love with – the me from 10 years ago – doesn’t exist anymore.  He hasn’t existed in years.”

There was a long moment of silence while I waited for him to respond.  I wasn’t sure what exactly I expected him to do – back up, go someplace alone to think this through?  Get upset with me?  Even worse, be disappointed in me?  I mean, I was a disappointment, there was no doubt about that, but still, the idea of disappointing the twins was devastating to me.

The one thing I did not expect from Vance was for him to gently pull me into his arms, one hand gently rubbing my back while the other was pressed against the back of my head, holding me close to him.

“You still exist, Morgan,” he whispered in my ear.  “The you from then – we still see glimpses of him.  Yes, he’s been locked away, we know that.  We didn’t know why, although I have some guesses now, but I don’t think you’ve quite killed him off.  Struggling to survive, perhaps, but you’re a fighter – you don’t give up that easily.”

I felt tears fall from my eyes unbidden as I buried my face in his shoulder and slowly hugged him back.  “Apparently I do.  I gave up on me a long time ago.”

“No, you just haven’t had a chance to be yourself.  You’ve been too busy being pushed into a box you don’t belong in.  No one should ever tell another person they’re worthless or pathetic.  If supernaturals care that much about your magical power, then, well, fuck them.  That doesn’t impact someone’s value as a person.  No one is worthless, no matter how weak they are, and you’re not pathetic – you’re pretty amazing, you’ve just forgotten that because people keep telling you otherwise.”  He was gently rocking me, just slightly, as he spoke.  “Education level – eh, that doesn’t affect anyone’s value as a person, either.  There are plenty of brilliant people who have changed the world and yet never went to college and plenty of fairly useless people who do nothing with their lives but have degrees.  Besides, that’s something we can fix, if you want.  And we can figure out the legal stuff.  The only thing we can’t fix is your magical power and that, my dear Morgan,” he leaned back to cup my face in his hand again and look me deep in the eyes, “isn’t you.  It’s a facet of what being an oceanid is, I suppose, but it’s no more your defining characteristic than your hair color or your skin tone.”  Vance pressed a soft, lingering kiss to my forehead, then another to my lips.  “Please, please don’t call yourself pathetic or worthless.  Whoever told you that was lying and probably – definitely – only said it to be mean.  Don’t listen to bullies, sweetheart, they’re not worth it.”

I closed my eyes and leaned into him, wishing I could really believe what he said.  Skye had said something similar, come to think of it.  But it was hard to believe them after 10 years of everyone telling me differently.

I heard the door open, a pause, and then Hayden seemed to be tiptoeing towards us.

“What’s going on?”  He whispered.

“Um, I think – I think we’re having a breakthrough?”  Vance answered hesitantly.

My short laugh was muffled into his chest.  “Don’t decide if we’re having a breakthrough all on your own.”

“Can you talk to us now?”  Vance begged, his hands still gently rubbing my back.  “Really talk to us?  Tell us what’s going on?  We can work through this all together – we were always better at problem solving with the three of us, right?  We may not be able to fix your magic problem, but – I don’t think it needs to matter, not really.  We don’t care about that, so just…let us convince you to see you through our eyes.”

I thought for a moment, sighed, and then gave in.  “Fine.  Let’s talk.”