Hayden emerged from the master bedroom, seemed somewhat pleased to see Vance had caught me, and motioned to the couch in front of the fire.  “Shall we talk?”

I waited until they started to eat before beginning, anxiety starting to hit me again.  “First of all, I am sorry about the whole memory thing – I know it’s not okay to just erase people’s memories but I didn’t see any other way out of this.  I can’t do a protection mark myself, I can’t ask Bruce to do it – it’s too much of a burden on him – and I can’t afford to pay someone else to do it either.”  My jaw tightened as my frustration started to spill out.  We were back at the original problem – my uselessness.  “I talked to our Elder, kind of the mayor of the merfolk version of Willen Cove, I guess, and she said the reason my magic sucks is because I’m not ‘committed enough to the ocean’ because I keep hanging onto humans.”  I glared moodily at nothing.

Hayden frowned as he swallowed another bite of omelet.  “I’d ask if that meant you were going to erase our memories just to get magical power, but based on what just happened, it doesn’t seem like that.”

“No.”  My frustration evaporated and my shoulders slumped.  “That was never about getting more magic.  I knew I’d just end up resenting the ocean more than I already do because doing so would take away what I really wanted – you.”

Time for brutal honesty, I guess, but given what had just happened, I was too emotionally drained to try to hide all of this from them.

Vance and Hayden both perked up at this admission, a slow smile spreading across Hayden’s face, while Vance – although initially looking happy – started to frown.

“Why do you resent the ocean already?”

I shrugged, not really bothering to hide my bitterness.  “Well, let’s see.  My parents died thanks to some dumb merfolk wars, then I’m sent off to live with an awful human, but I make friends, so it’s not so bad, but then I have to leave my friends, then I get stuck in an awful merfolk community, then no matter what I do I can’t manage to make protection magic – and to top it all off, my magic level in general sucks so much I’m kind of a laughingstock to most merfolk.”  I looked away from them, too ashamed to look into their eyes.  “My life kind of went downhill a lot after I split up from you guys,” I admitted quietly.  “There’s not exactly a lot good about it.”

I had deliberately chosen to sit on the recliner when we sat down, not on the sofa with them, and now they seemed agitated with this choice because they both got up, Hayden grabbing one hand and Vance the other, and literally pulled me up so they could resituate me on the couch between them.

So much for the whole sitting separately idea.

I didn’t really protest, though, and I could have.  They would have stopped if I did, but instead I just let them, but didn’t look at them still, keeping my eyes fixed on the fire.

“You fell in love with the me from 10 years ago,” I pointed out, “and that’s…not who I am anymore.  I’m cold and standoffish because it’s the only way I know to protect myself, and I’m weak and pathetic – ”

Hayden practically crushed his mouth onto mine, a sense of urgency in his kiss as he pressed me backwards into Vance, who wrapped his arms around me, holding me in place.

“You are not weak or pathetic,” Hayden informed me, his eyes blazing down at me, “and if someone told you that, they’re lying.”

“Really?”  I crossed my arms, trying to ignore how thoroughly they were surrounding me.  “I have almost no magic, less than any oceanid has ever had.  I don’t exactly contribute to merfolk society, and I don’t contribute to human society either.  I don’t have friends other than Bruce, I barely talk to people at all.  I don’t know what your definition of weak and pathetic is, but that sounds an awful lot like mine.”

Vance squeezed me tight, resting his head on my shoulder.  “It sounds like you’ve been through some rough things in the last 10 years, Morgan.”

I sighed heavily and turned my attention back to the safety of the fire.  “No, not really.  Just reality.  I don’t belong in the human world and I don’t belong in the merfolk world.  I’m somewhere lost in the middle.”

“You belong with us,” Hayden offered, slowly drawing his fingertips along my jawline.  “We’ll make our own place in the world with just the three of us.  Maybe the reason you never fit in there was because you needed us with you – and you couldn’t fit in with the human world because we didn’t know what you truly were.  But that’s different now.  We know, we accept you as you are.  And you have us now on your side.”

I squeezed my eyes closed and pinched the bridge of my nose.  “Which is just ignoring the whole protection thing because I still can’t take care of that and I don’t know how to fix it!”

“Hmm.”  Vance shifted so that his chin was resting on my shoulder, his eyes looking into mine.  “Well…didn’t you say you can do a basic one, but it doesn’t actually provide any real protection?”

“Yeah, it’s basically like a sticker.  Doesn’t do a damn thing,” I grumbled.  There were some species of supernaturals, like land shifters, whose protection marks didn’t have any magic to create a sort of shield that actually protected the individual, but for anyone with magic, the shield was kind of important.  It was how the protected person actually remained safe.

“But didn’t you say the main point of protection marks was more symbolic, basically just to let other supernaturals know we’re not Hunters?  And then they usually leave protected humans alone since it’s illegal to bother them?”  Vance pressed.  “So…wouldn’t the main problem be solved by just having a mark, even if it doesn’t do much itself?  And…that’s something you can do?”

I blinked, my mouth falling open slightly in shock.  That was – I mean, he had a point.  I couldn’t actually protect them with my mark, but I could make one which would get the main job done.

Why…had I forgotten that tiny detail?

Hayden laughed softly.  “He’s shocked,” he informed Vance, still grinning widely.  “I think that means you’re probably right.”

I sank back into Vance, a mixture of humiliation and relief filling me.  “Okay, look, yes, I didn’t think of that because I had it too drilled into my head that my mark was worthless since it can’t actually do any real protecting, so I forgot – forgot that it could still have some use.”

“Aww, Morgan, baby, we’re not upset.”  Hayden was smiling brightly at me, then leaned forward to press a kiss to my lips.

For not officially agreeing to date them yet, it felt like I was getting a lot of kisses, hugs, and random physical contact.  They were definitely taking advantage of my inability to tell them no.

Vance nuzzled the side of his face against mine.  “Kind of had a bit of an emotional roller coaster going on the past few days,” he admitted, “but we’re not upset with you.  Just – just promise us, please, that first, no more running off anymore without telling us, and second, no more potentially killing yourself by trying to protect us.”

“Hmm.”  I considered that.  “First one is easy, yes, I promise no more running off, but second one – I mean, if you’re in danger, I’m going to try to protect you, and I can’t guarantee no potentially fatal incidents.”

“Fair enough,” Hayden allowed.  “We feel the same way about you.  So let’s modify the second promise – no more unnecessary risks.  If you’re about to do something that has serious supernatural consequences, let us know so we can have some input.”

“Why do you get input?”  I grumbled.  “What happened to freedom of choice?”

“Because we’re your boyfriends and love you,” Vance stated calmly.  Then he paused.  “We, um, are your boyfriends, right?  You basically admitted you love us enough it would literally kill you to be away from us and kissing us healed you, somehow?  Which I don’t quite get but I’ll take it.  But I guess we didn’t actually confirm that.”

I was silent for a moment, then sat up, detangling myself from Vance and sitting back so I could look at both of them at the same time.

“I love you,” I informed them, “both of you.  Deeply.”  Apparently, fatally so.  “And yes, I am willing to accept both of you as my boyfriends, do the whole poly thing with the three of us.  Just remember, sometimes I’ll be your girlfriend instead of your boyfriend.”
Hayden had a broad smile on his face by the time I finished while Vance’s smile was more shy, but just as happy.

In unison, they leaned forward and kissed both of my cheeks.

“We love you, Morgan,” they told me.

And for the first time in years, I felt true happiness bubble up inside my heart, spreading through every vein.

Finally, I was where I belonged.

~~~~

It wasn’t until the emotional high wore off that my doubts started to creep back.  How was this really going to work?  Would this really work long-term?

The first problem was the protection marks.  Hayden kind of looked at me doubtfully when I informed them I was going to go ahead and make them.

“Is this going to involve more visits to witches?  Which, by the way, was a little weird.”

I shook my head, folding my hands together and focusing on summoning up every last thread of magic I possessed.  “That was just for the memories.  Normally it’s pretty straightforward, depends a little on the supernatural how and where they place the mark.”

“Right, but….”  Hayden trailed off as I placed my cupped hands against his skin, right below the hollow of his neck, took a breath, and then blew softly on my hands while I released the magic.

Hayden looked down, confused, while Vance was watching curiously.  “Did it work?  I don’t see anything.”

It was faint, but…it was there.  It wouldn’t do anything beyond just be there, but hopefully that would be enough.  “Yeah, it worked.  You won’t see it, but supernaturals will.”

“Do we need to wear something that doesn’t cover that?”  Vance asked as I started to repeat the process for him.

“Nope, it’s a magical mark – shows over clothing if it’s in a place clothing would cover.”  It was a little harder to summon enough magic to do this the second time – maybe I should have taken a break in between.

“So…some marks go in different places?”  Vance was definitely the scholar of the two, eager to learn everything he could about the supernatural world.

“Depends on the species.  Shifters usually put theirs on the upper arm, witches on the back of the neck, fairies on the forehead – it just depends.”  Just a little bit more – come on, magic, please.

Hayden had gone over to the mirror to try to see what it looked like, but of course he still couldn’t see anything.  “What does it look like?”

“Sea green symbol.  The symbol tells what species is protecting you.”  Some symbols also told what family was involved, but for me, I didn’t really have a family symbol, so that wasn’t the case.

Finally pulling together the last bit of magic I needed, I placed my hands on the same place on Vance’s chest, then blew softly as I released the magic.

While they were curiously investigating the invisible marks on their chests that they still couldn’t see no matter how hard they tried, I took advantage of their distraction to sink into the recliner and hope they didn’t notice how drained that left me.

I glanced around the beachhouse, taking more of it in.  Two bedrooms, one open concept for the rest of the place – kitchen and dining room closer to the ocean, living room with fireplace closer to the shore.  Lots of windows on the ocean side, but since they faced the ocean and there was a fair amount of shrubbery planted on the grounds, a surprising amount of privacy.

Bruce had already shown up earlier, relieved I was okay but furious at the Elder for the whole thing.  He’d told us to stay at the beachhouse for as long as we wanted and even taken care of getting some groceries for us.

But we couldn’t stay here permanently.  We needed to figure out what we were doing, which meant I needed to figure out where they lived since I was fairly transient and could just go there.