I could have switched to my female form to swim faster, but I didn’t, instead taking advantage of the slightly slower trip to try to process everything.

The twins knew now.  They knew about me, they knew about the supernatural world.  They’d taken it a lot better than I’d thought, but maybe that was because it hadn’t really sunk in yet.

But now they knew, and I – I couldn’t protect them.  I wished I could, but in general, my magic sucked.  Not even just protection magic, but all of it.  I was vastly underwhelming when compared to other oceanids.  It wasn’t exactly surprising that I couldn’t do the kind of advanced magic that protection spells required, all things considered – I mean, I could barely make a breeze or a jetstream of water, how did I expect to be able to actually protect people?

I could ask Bruce, but…his wife and son were human.  He had to protect them already, and while he’d probably be willing to help me if I asked, it would inevitably tie him to them for as long as either he or they existed.  To tie him to strangers like that, force him to help them if they needed…I wasn’t even sure I could ask that of him.  He had his own family to take care of.  He shouldn’t need to take care of my people, that should be my responsibility.

If only I wasn’t so weak and useless.

I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and went back to trying to figure out how to solve the protection issue.  I could ask Bruce to just place the marks and then not do anything if ever they were in danger.  Call me, at most.  He probably would, but…he was too good of a person to ignore someone in need of help.  If he protected them, he would genuinely help them if they needed it.

But maybe there was someone else I could ask?  The oceanid Elder of the Willen Cove merfolk community, maybe she knew someone who would be willing to place the mark, for a price, but just have it end there?  That would be fine – the mark was more of a symbolic thing, anyway.  Or at least, it was supposed to be.  If I could find someone who wouldn’t care about following up, maybe that would work.  I mean, for the twins, that wasn’t ideal, because if they ever were in danger, no one would come to help, but the protection marks were supposed to be symbolic and not require follow-up, anyway, so hopefully that would be fine?  The downside to this plan was it required convincing someone to help me, and I had nothing to offer anyone.  No family, no wealth, no influence, precious little magic – there wasn’t much I could use to try to convince someone.

I honestly didn’t know what to do.  This was why I was trying to avoid this situation in the first place – trying to avoid letting them find out, because it would only place them in danger.  But now that boat had sailed, so I needed to figure out how to protect them, and I…was stumped.  For 10 years I had tried to figure out this problem, unsuccessfully, so how did I think one night would make me magically come up with a solution?

I sighed reluctantly as I turned slightly to follow the coastline.  I was going to have to just talk to Bruce.  Tell him what happened, see what he thought about what I should do.  He’d probably want to help me, and while I hated the idea for his sake…maybe it could just be a temporary thing while I tried to figure out a better long-term solution?

Right now my only plan was to talk to Bruce.  At least that was something.  He was older than me, almost like an older brother, and he was kind.  He would understand the fear of having humans in need of protection, given his own family situation.  He would help me figure out something.  Hopefully something that didn’t place him and his family at risk, but something.

Without any further answers on that subject, I turned my mind to the other issue waiting impatiently for my attention.

Dating the twins.  Both of them.  At the same time.

It was a crazy idea, I still was having trouble wrapping my mind around it, but I couldn’t deny that the idea of a relationship with both of them sounded appealing to me.  More appealing than with just one, because I knew if I had to choose one, my heart would inevitably get broken watching the other one walk away, hurt.  I couldn’t do that to either one of them.  I’d honestly rather choose neither than try to pick between them, but…both?  That…had some appeal to it.  I loved them equally, and Vance had been right – we were better with all three of us.  Even if it was unusual for humans and supernaturals alike, I found myself much more willing to allow the idea of a poly relationship than trying to make a normal relationship happen with just one of the twins.  They were both so special in their own ways, I felt like I’d be missing part of the dynamic that made us us if I only dated one – it seemed like the relationship would actually be incomplete without both of them.  It wasn’t that they were twins, it was just that we were right together, with all three of us.  I was pretty sure I’d feel the exact same way even if they were unrelated.  Who cared if it wasn’t normal?  Maybe other people shouldn’t get to decide if we didn’t want to be normal.  Maybe that should be up to us, especially if we were all consenting adults and not hurting anyone.  So as far as the idea of a poly relationship…yes, I could probably get on board with that.

For just a moment, I let myself picture it.  Back with them, like we had been when we were younger, but adults now, more aware of who we were, and not hiding our feelings.  What would it be like to come home to them?  Not just see them every day at school, but actually get to live with them?  What would it be like to get to love them, both as male and female?  They claimed they didn’t mind that particular, um, feature of mine, but again, I had to wonder if they just didn’t fully process it yet.  It was a lot to ask anyone to accept.

What they wanted – it felt like a dream.  Too good to be true.  Too impossible to actually happen.  But at the same time, they both said they loved and wanted me, knowing the truth now about what I was, so…was it possible to hope?  To hope that the one dream I’d had for most of my life could actually come true?  That somehow, I could stay with them, be with them?

I tried not to let myself hope too much, dream too much as I swam, but it wasn’t really possible.  The twins had offered me everything I’d ever wanted, and the more I thought about it, the more I longed for it.  Sure, a relationship with humans – let alone with two of them at the same time – wouldn’t be easy, particularly for a merfolk, but being with them was the closest I’d ever felt to having a genuine home since my parents died.  They felt like home, they felt like love – they felt like everything I was missing.

I’d been terrified when I saw them on the street that day, worried it would break me apart to see them again, but instead this had ended up as a crazy nightmare that was trying to change into an impossible dream.  I wanted that dream.  I really wanted that dream.  But I was still scared it was too much to hope for.  What if, after everything sunk in, they changed their minds?  What about the whole protection mark issue?

I hadn’t been allowed genuine, free happiness in a very long time.  Now it was in front of me, and I was afraid to reach out and take it.

I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath of salty water.  If this was real – if they still wanted me after thinking things through – then I had to at least try.  I had to try to take the one thing I’d always wanted.  Them.  This might be my only chance for happiness like that and I couldn’t turn it away, not if it was being freely offered.  Not even for societal rules of “normalness.”

My mind made up – though my fears not entirely dissolved – by the time I reached Willen Cove in early evening, I was anxious, but cautiously optimistic.

Bruce was hanging out by the outer islands, where the entrance to the cove was, apparently waiting for me.  As soon as he saw me approaching, he swam up to one of the tiny outcroppings and switched to human form.

Shifters, unlike oceanids, shifted with their clothes on.  It was kind of like flipping a switch – human one second, their animal form the next.  This applied to both land and merfolk shifters, and because their change was more magic than physical, their clothes shifted with them.  Oceanids, on the other hand, because our bodies actually went through more of a change, we unfortunately had to worry about clothes when we got out of the water.  It was fairly common for oceanids to wear sarongs or some type of clothing that could easily be tied over our aquatic form without hampering movement but would be able to cover us once we shifted back.

Watching Bruce shift back in a second with his clothes intact, I felt – not for the first time – a stab of jealousy over that particular ability.  Having to worry about modesty when getting out of the water was sometimes a pain.

I surfaced enough to rest my elbows on a rock so we could talk.

“You’re later than I expected,” Bruce told me as he sat down.  “And you changed to male.”

I shrugged a bit.  “Things happened.  A lot of things.”  As concisely as I could, I ran through the events of the prior night.  Not the part about the twins wanting to date me, but about rescuing them, having to explain things, their reaction, and the plan to meet them here.

I hesitated a bit before pointing out the obvious.  “I can’t protect them, you know that.  I’m not sure what to do – I wanted your thoughts.  Do you think the Elder would know someone who’d be willing to protect them for me?  For a fee I could pay?”  That was the problem, I had nothing really I could offer anyone.

Bruce rubbed his jaw in thought.  “She might.  But what if I just – ”

I interrupted him before he could finish that sentence.  “I can’t ask that of you.  You have your family to protect, and I know you – you wouldn’t just stand by and let them get hurt if something did happen.  I can’t ask that of you.”

Bruce sighed, but didn’t disagree with me, either.  Shifters generally didn’t have as much magic as non-shifters, anyway, because their magic was more in the physical aspect of shifting their bodies into animals, although merfolk shifters like Bruce were the only exception because they did have some small amount of elemental magic.  Bruce actually had more magic than I did just because mine sucked so much – normally oceanids had quite a bit more than merfolk shifters – but asking him to perform advanced magic on two people, in addition to the two he already protected would be a huge strain on him personally.  Even if nothing ever happened to them.

“Maybe the Elder would know,” he allowed, “and if that happens, let me know if I can help with the cost side.  My brother-in-law has resources if necessary, he’ll help if I ask.”

That was kind – and possibly my only way out of this mess – so I couldn’t exactly turn him down, but I felt terrible even thinking about needing his help.  This was my problem, I shouldn’t be draining my friend’s limited resources or making him owe his brother-in-law.

A thoughtful look came across Bruce’s face.  “Or…maybe you should try looking for another solution.”

I raised one eyebrow.  “What, another solution to a protection mark?  I can’t exactly follow them around like a bodyguard all day.”  The only other “solution” I could come up with was erasing their memories, which was the last thing I wanted to do.

“Not that.”  He waved his hand dismissively.  “A new approach to the protection mark.  You haven’t tried to do one in years, right?  Maybe the Elder has ideas that could work for you.”

I was highly doubtful that would accomplish anything.  My magic level hadn’t changed in the last 10 years – sometimes I actually thought it was worse – and protection marks weren’t exactly something you could work around.  Each species had its own way of doing it, sure, but that didn’t mean you could cheat the magic somehow.

Still, it might be worth a shot.  “Fine,” I agreed tiredly, “I’ll ask her if she has any ideas for how I could make a real one, and if that doesn’t work, see if she knows someone else who might do it.”

Bruce gave me a kind look.  “I know it’s a lot of worry, but it sounds like you didn’t have much of a choice under the circumstances.  Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out.”

I wished I could be as optimistic as him, but my optimism had been mostly killed off a long time ago.

“I’m going to go back to shore,” Bruce informed me, “in case your friends show up.  You’re going to be down underneath?  To get answers?”

I nodded.  “I’ll try to get back soon.  I’ll at least come up by the morning to check and see if they’ve arrived.”

“Good luck,” Bruce told me, and then he dived into the ocean himself and shifted back into his orca form.  He paused long enough to splash me with his tail, earning him an eyeroll from me, and then I dove down, down, deep into the ocean beyond the dropoff, down to where an underwater city thrived.