When I eventually watched Vance leave, I was reminded of why I’d liked him so much in the first place.  Thoughtful, kind, respectful – he was the one who had always picked up on my mood when I was sad but pretending everything was normal.  He wouldn’t push me for answers, sometimes would just sit with me in silence, watching the ocean from the top of the bluff, never saying a word.  That quiet company, though, was sometimes exactly what I needed, while other times I appreciated his quick wit and intellectual humor.  I’d missed it, when I left.  I could talk to others, but never spend hours with them going over some random detail in a book, debating the implications of a single action as we went deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.

And then there was Hayden.  Quick-tempered, but fiercely loyal, and ready without question to do anything crazy I suggested.  When I’d been in desperate need of an outlet, I knew I could always count on him to be at my side, not questioning my choices even if maybe he should have.  He’d pushed me to try new things, challenged me to join sports teams even though I wasn’t particularly a team player, and was never satisfied if I wasn’t pushing myself to do my best.

They looked identical, but were so different, and I’d loved them both deeply.  Leaving them behind had torn me apart, caused many nights of silent tears falling down my face while sleep eluded me, but – it had been for the best.  I knew that.  Seeing them now, remembering them, it was all pointless.  It didn’t matter if they were the same amazing people they once had been.

The problem was I was still, well, me.  I couldn’t be what they really needed.

I couldn’t be human.  I couldn’t be someone worthy of them.

Besides, I tried to remind myself, it had been 10 years.  They had changed, doubtless.  Even my disappearance would have affected them, made them into people I didn’t really know anymore.  These feelings – these feelings were based on the Hayden and Vance of 10 years ago, not who they were now.  Yes, I saw glimpses of who they were yesterday and this morning, but…they had changed.

While I, well…I had changed physically, a lot.  Behaviorally, a lot.  But my base DNA would always be the same, and it would always be a barrier between me and them.

I couldn’t risk letting them back into my life.  I had to hope that they would become convinced I was someone who was just, what, a doppelganger?  But not the same person.  Not at all.  As long as they never realized I was actually the same Morgan they once knew, then hopefully they would give up, leave, and eventually, move on.

In the meantime, though, it appeared I was going to get a visit from the other twin as well.

Hayden appeared shortly before the end of my shift and waited around outside, looking uncomfortable as he shoved his hands in his pockets, anxiously awaiting my appearance.

I thought about just going out the back way, but I might as well get this over with – the longer I dragged it out, the less likely they’d be convinced.  They needed answers, answers I couldn’t give them, but maybe if they decided I wasn’t the same person after all, they’d give up.

I let out an audible sigh as I got out the door.  “Let me guess, you’re here for an apology, too?”  I was holding the tulip, hoping he knew about it already, because otherwise this might get even more awkward.

Hayden’s eyes did flit to the tulip for a moment, then back to my face, his expression a little chagrinned.  “Yeah, um, Vance told me I needed to.  I’m Hayden, by the way.  My brother is Vance.  Uh, we – well, most I – were really abrupt yesterday, it’s just – ”

I waved a hand, cutting him off.  “I’ve already heard about your friend who disappeared and how I look like him and remind you of him and you don’t have answers.  If it’s more of the same, please don’t.”

“Right.”  Hayden looked a little abashed, but his eyes went back to the tulip again.  “You…like tulips?”

“I like flowers,” I corrected coolly, “I wasn’t familiar with this one, they don’t grow in this area, but I don’t make a habit of turning down apology flowers.”

“I see.”  Hayden shifted a little, probably trying to figure out how to get me to accept his apology since I’d accepted his brother’s, but he hadn’t brought an apology tulip, so.  There was that.

“Can I walk you home?”  He asked.  Chivalry, I remembered, was never dead with him.  He was always nice to girls, surprisingly getting tongue-tied with them sometimes.  Probably he’d outgrown that awkwardness some by now, since he’d had no trouble talking to me yesterday, but he still wanted to be a gentleman.

“I’m not a damsel in distress,” my tone was now icy, cutting back against the chivalry even though I knew came from a good place, “and I don’t generally permit strangers to know where I live.”

“Oh, right, that makes sense,” he mumbled.  Hayden now clearly was out of his element, not sure what to say or do, but not wanting to just let me leave, either.

I sighed.  A part of me hated to just walk off and leave him like that, but I couldn’t let myself be soft with them.  Not – not now.

“If that’s all, then I’ll be going,” I told him coldly, brushing past him towards the sidewalk.

“Wait!”  He hurried to follow me.  “Could, um, we, uh, take you out for dinner or something?  Just to apologize?”

I stopped to give him a glare.  “Your brother already apologized earlier for both of you, so as far as I’m concerned, the matter is done.  Forget it, move on, go on with your lives, but just leave me out of them.”

I turned to walk away, when his voice stopped me again.

“How – how did you know I wasn’t the same person who was here earlier?”  His tone was sharper now, as if he’d realized something.

Right.  Most people wouldn’t have known, they wouldn’t be able to recognize which one was which without even thinking about it.

But when I glanced back at him, my face was calm, devoid of all my flustered misgivings.  “You’re dressed different.”

I quickly hurried on, hoping he wouldn’t ask any further, because truth was, Vance had the same coat Hayden was now wearing, although he hadn’t been wearing it, just carrying it, and I couldn’t see what Hayden was wearing under his coat, so for all I knew, they actually were wearing the same thing.  It was just the only thing I could think of that made sense that I could come up with fast enough it didn’t seem like I was thinking about it.

The entire way home, though, I cursed myself and hoped I had convinced him.  If I left even a shadow of a doubt in his mind, they’d stick around, seeking more answers.  And answers were the one thing I couldn’t give them.

Back at home, I hung up my things and then took out my phone, dialing a number I hadn’t used in a while.

“Morgan?”  He answered on the first ring.  “What’s wrong?”

“Someone from my past.”  I pressed my back against the wall, then slowly slid down until I was sitting on the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest.  “Someone I used to care about, someone who cared about me.  They showed up and saw me, heard my name, and now they have questions.”

He paused.  “You think you can talk your way out of it, or do you need some help?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted.  “I may have made a mistake.  They’re twins, and I – may have let on that I knew which one was which.  I gave an excuse, but I’m not sure he bought it.”

“Problematic,” he agreed.  “I can get up there by tomorrow night, if you need me.  Or, well, our door is always open, you know that.”

I did, but I also didn’t want to intrude.  Bruce was one of my few genuine friends, and he and his wife had recently had a son.  Well, recently as in…a year or two ago?  I couldn’t remember the details, but point was, he was happy now with his little family, and while staying a night or two with them would be fine, crashing on their doorstep indefinitely with nowhere to go was another thing.

“Give me another day,” I decided.  “Let me see if they seem suspicious tomorrow, or maybe if I can just throw them off entirely.  They know the height and build differences can’t just be ignored, it’s not something human science can explain, so hopefully they’ll just overlook everything else as coincidence.”

“All right, but call me tomorrow, okay?  It might be safer to just go full aquatic for a while, even.”

It might be, but I didn’t want to go that route.  I’d spent several years after I’d left fully immersed in the sea, and while the sea would always be home, I still wanted that touch of normal life, too.  I’d spent so long pretending to be human, it was hard to just completely give up the idea of coffee and books and flowers and hearing birds singing.  That was why I’d opted to become female before arriving here, thinking it would be a safe bet just in case I ever came across someone from my old life.  Something I never planned to need, but just in case.

And now it was the only thing potentially keeping the twins from realizing the truth.  The scientific impossibility that I was the same person they once knew.

If they had any idea that science was a lot easier to bend than they ever imagined, they would never be able to look at their world the same way again.

~~~~

The twins were together the next day, carrying coffee and brown paper bags from the restaurant when they found me at the beach.  I sighed as they approached.

“The manager said you weren’t working today but would probably be here,” Vance explained, then offered me a coffee and a small bag of what smelled like breakfast.  “He said you’d like this?”

Reluctantly, I accepted the coffee and breakfast because I hadn’t had either yet, setting aside my book and pretending I didn’t notice that they were both pulling up chairs.  “Thank you, but this needs to stop,” I informed them firmly.  “No more flowers or coffee or whatever.”

“Pride and Prejudice?”  Hayden queried as he sat on one side of me, taking a look at my book.

Vance, on the other side, immediately look intrigued.  “I love that book – well, I’m a Jane Austen fan in general.”

I knew that already, just like they both knew that “their” Morgan loved the same book as well.  My reading tastes had gotten a little more sophisticated since high school, but to be honest, I still read a lot of the same stuff.  Stuff most high school guys probably didn’t care to read, but I wasn’t exactly your typical guy, so I hadn’t felt trapped by gender expectations to begin with.

“It’s a well-loved book,” I said calmly.  “Has been since Austen wrote it.”

“True,” Vance allowed immediately.  “What do you think of Mansfield Park?”

I wasn’t about to discuss books with him – too afraid I’d accidentally reveal something I shouldn’t – so I decided to ignore the question.

“What, exactly, brings you gentlemen here this morning, anyway?  Surely not to discuss books, or even to deliver coffee and breakfast,” which were an excuse, not the reason, “so what is your reason?  More apologies, or more reminiscing about your friend who isn’t me?”

They seemed a little taken aback by my sharp, cold tone, but Vance was the first to recover.

“Actually, we were hoping to get to know you a little bit.  We’re going to be in town for a few days and thought it might be nice if we knew a local, and since we’ve run into you a few times, well, it seemed, um, appropriate.”

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose while squeezing my eyes shut.  “You didn’t run into me, you deliberately sought me out, and I already told you all the sightseeing places of interest to tourists.  I’m not interested in being your tour guide, either, so no.  Just forget it.”

“We can’t,” Hayden piped up, his eyes fixed intently on my face.  “See, we know it doesn’t make sense, but we’ve noticed certain similarities between you and our friend – mannerisms, even, things you like and he liked, your name, your face, your age, the way you can tell between us – it’s not normal.  We know it doesn’t make sense, but we’re trying to figure out what is going on, so, well, talking to you seems to be the only solution.  We won’t stalk you, but if you could just – ”

“No,” I cut him off, seething.  More at myself than them – they had noticed everything, hadn’t they?  And while it didn’t make scientific sense, they couldn’t help but question.  In another situation, I’d probably have praised their determination, but not here.

“No,” I repeated.  “I think you’re seeing things in me that you want to be there because you miss your friend and I remind you of him.  Well, I’m not him.  And I’m not interested in continuing this conversation, or any more with you.”

I set the coffee and remaining breakfast roll aside and rose, grabbing my book as I did.

“Wait, please, Morgan,” Vance begged, his eyes pleading even more than his voice was.  “We don’t mean to intrude, it’s just – we’re just trying to understand.”

“And I’ve already told you, there’s nothing to understand.”  Bold, obstinate denial might be my only defense now, so I didn’t hesitate to give him a cold, unrelenting glare.  “Coincidence – doppelgangers – whatever you want to call it, they happen.  But that does not give you the right to harass me because I remind you of someone who is not me.”

“And I think you’re lying.”  Hayden’s calm words drew my attention to him, where he was leaning against one of the lampposts, watching me closely.  “I think you do know something.  I still think you might be our Morgan, although I don’t know how.  Experimental surgery, maybe?  But at the very minimum, you do know something.”

“Why?”  I demanded, crossing my arms, glaring coldly at him.  “Because I don’t welcome your questions and intrusions into my life with open arms?  Because I don’t share every detail of my past with two perfect strangers?  Hardly a reliable theory.”

I stormed towards the boardwalk, hearing them follow close behind me, cursing myself and them over this whole situation.

Hayden suspected, but he couldn’t prove it.  They were both suspicious.  Denial would only work so far, and I wasn’t sure if it would be enough.

I was going to have to disappear again.