Yes or No?

– The game is simple. – explained Hayley. – I’ll give you three people, and you choose which one of them you’d kill, marry or kiss. Got it?

Alex had placed her cellphone on her stomach, the screen turned down, and was currently listening to Hayley’s voice through the headphone. Her voice was soft almost like a whisper and Alex could clearly distinguish the girl’s breath when she gave small pauses.

– Hmm. – she agreed. – What about rules? Can I choose something wrong and lose a point?

Hayley laughed. – No, no. It’s nothing like that. There’s no wrong or right choice, you’d just place them however you like.

Alex frowned. – Then how do you win the game?

– Well, you don’t. It’s just to have fun.

How can this be fun? Alex thought, even more confused. She had played games that had no objectives before, where the player kept repeating endless cycles, like running or rhythm games. They were fun for a short time, then became easily repetitive to enjoy. But she failed to understand how making any of the three choices could be interesting.

– I don’t get it. – she said finally.

– About what? – Hayley asked.

– The game. How are we having fun with it?

From the other side of the line, Alex heard a sigh: – It’s like a social game. How do I put this… – she heard the small sound of Hayley wetting her lips. – You have fun by interacting with other people and learning more about them.

Alex frowned, pensively. She didn’t fully understand how that still could be fun, but, from another perspective, she also wanted to know more about Hayley and that seemed interesting enough.

– Ok. I think I get it now.

Hayley let out an excited squeal, Alex couldn’t avoid a smile forming on her own lips. Why did she feel like that? Whenever Hayley seemed happy or enjoying herself, Alex couldn’t stop herself from also getting happy. It was a familiar feeling she normally would get when playing an interesting game, but somewhat different too.

– I’ll give you three names… – started Hayley.

– You said that already – Alex cut in.

– Calm down, let me get to it! – Hayley whined.

– Ok, go on.

– They’re all famous people. – she said, then gave a small pause before continuing: – Who would you kill, marry, kiss, Brie Larson, Jake Gyllenhaal or Rosè?

Alex tried recollecting the names, but nothing came to her mind.

– I have no clue who they are. – she answered.

– What? Seriously? – asked the girl, a faint dubiousness cracking her voice.

– Yup. – Alex responded, unaware.

– But… Ok, let me send you some photos – insisted Hayley.

Alex waited until her cellphone vibrated with the images. Alex stared at them still having no memories of seeing these people before.

– Sorry, I still don’t know who they are.

– Uhm… then, let’s do this: who do you think is hotter, Rosè or Jake? From the pictures I sent you.

Alex pondered a bit. If she had to answer that truthfully, she would choose the girl, since she was clearly more attractive to her. But didn’t she say this is a “social game” that people play to know each other better? Then giving a biased opinion would be unfair, she needed to put her own preferences aside and give a neutral, but fairer answer:

– Uh, if I were to place my own sexual preference aside, I’d say both are very attractive people.

She heard Hayley grunting something in response.

Did I say something wrong?

***

Hayley was biting her own lips. Of course, Alex wouldn’t know them, as if Hayley’s luck could get any better at this point, but Alex, on top of that, was also too good of a person to hastily judge people based on their looks.

She closed her eyes. Hayley felt as if she was impersonating some villain trying to deceive a good-hearted person. Maybe she should just drop the subject? No. She wanted to know the answer. She needed to know.

– How about: imagine you’re walking into a bar… – Hayley tried again. – On the drinking area, there are two dudes looking around at the girls, they see you and smile. But, on another corner, there are two really pretty girls kissing, they also see you, and wink at you. Which one of them would you go to?

– I don’t go to bars that often. – answered Alex.

Hayley suppressed a sigh. – But, let’s say you did. Would rather stay with the girls or the guys?

– Uhmmm… Neither? I don’t like sitting with people I don’t know, so I rather stay on my own. Besides, they seem weird.

Hayley was about to object, but she couldn’t argue against that. Knowing how Alex was, that probably described her well.

– Okay, fair enough – she ceded, then proceeded – But what would you do if this lady comes to you saying she is, I don’t know, ill or something like that, and she needs to have sex with you otherwise she will die. Would you do it?

A small pause from the other side of the line. Dammit, maybe I went too far? She could feel herself losing control of the situation. She was getting desperate for an answer and creating absurd situations at this point.

Alex's voice finally reached her again: – I’d think this lady is lying, there’s no disease that could kill people for that.

Hayley felt as if the last straps of her self-control were loosening up.

– It’s just a “what-if” game. – she groaned. – Let’s pretend that there’s a disease that kills people if they don’t do sex.

– Does it have to be me? Can’t I just send her to someone nearby?

– No! – Hayley pressed her temples. – It needs to be you and there’s no one around.

– Then…

– And she’s about to die! – reenforced Hayley.

– Maybe? – offered Alex. – I mean, if she’s about to die, then yes, I wouldn’t want someone to die because of me.

Aargh! Why can’t you be a little more selfish?! Hayley cursed silently, knowing Alex’s answer didn’t prove anything. She was too good of a person, so even if she was heterosexual, Alex would still help someone in a situation like that. Was this game a bad idea? At the end she still had no clue if Alex was or not into girls. If that was a different occasion, then she would have no problem in getting that answer, chatting with someone in a bar or a nightclub, even a college friend. Normally, she could make people comfortable enough to know who they were or if the pretty girl she was chatting wouldn’t mind to have some fun later.

Fuck this! She couldn’t let her efforts go to waste.

– Alex. Are you attracted to girls or not? – Hayley asked, objectively  

After a long pause, Alex finally answered, her voice was brittle and faint:

– Why are you asking this? Did I bother you or something?

– What? No. – Hayley immediately replied. – I…

– Don’t worry. It’s not a first time. – interrupted Alex; her voice becoming cold. – I won’t bother you more than I did, sorry for that.

– Wait, Alex, don’t turn off. – pleaded Hayley.

– What is it?

Hayley closed her eyes. How would she clear that misunderstanding without telling Alex the truth? She felt ashamed of being so reckless and selfish, because of that she hurt someone she cared, someone who had only did good to her and now… Is she gonna hate me too?

– I… I... – Hayley stammered, struggling to organize her thoughts.

– I bought you this cute notebook – she lied. – It had the gay flag… but it was really cute… and I wanted to give you as a… uhm, gift… but I didn’t know if you had a problem.

Will she believe me? She thought, covering her face with her palm.

– Ah – said Alex. – You could’ve just asked me, though. But yeah, I don’t mind it.

Hayley sighed in relief. – Go-good. I mean, that’s good to know.

A strange silence enveloped them. Hayley wanted something to break it somehow. It didn’t fit them to be like that, or rather, she didn’t want to stay like that with Alex.

– So, you are… – she started.

– Gay? – offered Alex. – Yeah… Does it bother you?

She likes girls. She likes girls. She likes girls. She likes girls. She likes girls. She likes girls. She likes girls. She likes girls. YEES!

– Yes! Wait, no! Sorry – Hayley quickly corrected. – Of course not, I mean, I’m also bisexual, so…

– Ah? So, you…?

– Yup.

An awkward silence surrounded them again. She never had a problem talking about her sexual orientation before, so why was she becoming jittery to talk about that with Alex?

Hayley chuckled, distressed. – Sorry, I making a huge mess right now, huh?

– No, not really. – Alex responded in a calm, but firm voice. – I had fun talking with you. Although, I just discovered that I suck in social games.

For the first time, in the last few days, Hayley laughed, a heartfelt laugh. – I guess we need to work on that a bit more too.

She heard Alex clicking her tongue. – I don’t like going out that much.

– Why so? – she asked.

– Dunno. Too much people and noise.

– Aw, it’s not so bad. – Hayley objected. – If we went out together, we could go to amusement parks, then eat ice-cream and cotton-candy.

– Then… – Alex paused. – You’d go with me?

Hayley felt her cheeks warming up, realizing that she basically had invited Alex to a date.

– Ah-ah, yes. – she said, hoping her voice didn’t betray her own thoughts. – I mean, if you want us to go together and since we’re friends…

– Yes – agreed Alex; spelling in such a way that made Hayley wonder to what exactly she said yes to.

– So, how was your day? – Hayley changed the subject, hoping to lighten the heavy atmosphere around then.

– Nothing much. – answered Alex. – I just met a friend today.

– Hm~, then you actually can meet other people – Hayley took the chance to tease the girl.

Alex voice cracked with visible embarrassment. – It’s nothing like that. It’s just that I haven’t seen her in a long while.

– Oh, I see how it is. – continued Hayley, slowly going back to herself. – I just need to not see you for a while so we can go out together?

Alex was struggling to give her an answer; Hayley couldn’t stop entertaining herself with the other girl’s flushed reaction. I shouldn’t tease her so much.

She chuckled. – I’m just joking, silly. So, what did you guys do? If it’s okay to ask.

– No, not a problem. We just went for bowling for old time’s sake.

– I always wondered how it would be like playing that game. – she said, remembering the times when her other classmates would invite her, but she had to turn them down.

– You never went for bowling before? – asked a surprised Alex.

Hayley shook her head, even though Alex wasn’t there to see her. – No. Funny, ain’t it?

– Why? – asked the other girl after a time. – I mean, why didn’t you?

She almost said: because I was too busy working to leave home, but she didn’t want to ruin the mood between them.

– I guess I never had the chance. – she said instead. Then lowered her voice, enjoying the opportunity.  – But you seem to know a lot, you can teach me that too?

– Hm, I suppose. – answered Alex.

– Really?

– Yeah.

An image of Alex with her arms around Hayley, while giving instructions of how to play the game sent shivers through her skin. She smiled in response. – I’ll wait for it then.

– What about you? – asked Alex. – How was your day?

– Me? Well… – small tidbits of that day came back to her: college, Monica’s apartment, feelings and Alex, and Alex again.

– Uhm, it was normal I’d say. – she answered. – I had the day off, so I went back home earlier. Besides seeing some friends here and there, nothing particular to remember about today. – she gave a little pause, before adding: – I mean, besides talking with you, that made my day a lot better already.

– You’re just messing with me. – argued Alex.

– Yes. – she agreed. – But I’m also speaking the truth.

– u-uhm.

– Why? Aren’t you happy to talk with me? – she pursed her lips.

When Alex spoke, her voice was barely audible. – I am.

Hayley smiled. – See? You should believe me when I say it too.

– Okay.

They kept talking until she could see the dark veil of the night change to a fainter blue that welcomed the morning, alongside with the city slowly getting back to life. She didn’t have any sleep all day; her body was sore and her eyes were heavy. A yawn came out from her mouth.

– Sorry. – she groaned.

– Tired? – asked Alex. – I guess it’s really late right now. We should go to sleep.

For some reason, that thought scared her. What if she starts avoiding me after this? She couldn’t let that happen, not after knowing… that at least she had a chance.

– No. I’m not so tired. – she tried to conceal another yawn, but failing at doing so.

Alex laughed. Her voice was hoarse, but soothing, like the sound of the wind rustling through the grass.

– We can talk later. – said Alex.

– But… – Hayley tried to find an excuse, but her mind was too tired to elaborate any words besides sleep.

– I’ll see you at college. – reassured Alex.

– Really? – her voice sounding hopeful in her own ears.

– Yes. – reaffirmed the girl again, then added: – I even buy you coffee. It’s my fault you’re going to sleep late.

She felt her chest softening. – You don’t have to buy me anything. Just promise to see me in a few hours, okay?

– Okay. Good night, Hayley.

– Good night, Alex.