Time may not heal all wounds, but my realization that night was certainly a wound time was capable of healing. Sure, for a while after that, every time I saw Jody, I felt absolutely awful. It was to the point that it was interfering with my studies, which Lucidna promptly noticed. When I told her though, all the advice she gave me pretty much amounted to “get over it”, which kind of sucked.

Though she did get a tad bit more lenient as I went through this rather sad phase, which I do have to give her credit for. Eventually spending enough time with my friends, made me kind of forget about what happened, even if only a little, and helped me remember that Jody was still open to a relationship in the future. If it wasn’t for their support I would’ve been in that depressive state for far longer than I had been.

I eventually got back into the flow of my studies, remembering just what I wanted to do before that talk with Jody that awful night. Being noticed by Kári. I had gone to Lucidna about this, since she was the one basically in charge of teaching me. After I had explained everything that happened that day, minus the thing with Jody “That’s a very long winded way to say you’ve fallen head over heels like a little school girl for a man who’s been dead for 800 years.”

I begin to go to correct her, but she cuts me off. “Stop it, I’m just teasing.” Is she? She’s never teased me before. Also, her expression hasn’t changed a bit, and she isn’t laughing or showing any even remote signs of joy.

“Well, I guess I should have known something like this would happen if you saw something like that. Your soul is like a bottomless pit of desire, after all.” 

Lucidna seems to have a pretty good grasp of the person I am at this point. Even more than my friends at Kári’s cult, or even Kiaran and Aubrey. Actually, I haven’t spoken with them in weeks just because our schedules are so different. I’ll have to take a day off to visit Kiaran at work sometime.

While I’m pondering, Lucidna hands me a small book from the shelf “You’re probably at a high enough level for this. You know, while Kári’s the only one who’s ever flown that high, he actually took the Archon of Frost, Beira up there quite often as well. She’s also written about it quite extensively.” 

“Seriously?” It takes a great deal of effort to not shout again so that Lucidna doesn’t shout at me. 

“Yes, she was quite an excellent astronomer while she lived. She set up quite a few observatories, most of which are still around today.”

What?! The more I learn about the Archons, the more I hate that I didn’t know all this already! The fact that Kári’s actually been to space, and the fact that Beira was an astronomer are the two that are really making me hate myself because of that right now.

“The book I’ve just given you is a summary of some of her notes she took while she was up there with Kári. Check out a dictionary, and trying to read it like that should help you quite a lot.”

“Thank you, Librarian Von Stein.”

Be warned though, she was a bit of a… Oh, Adas, how do I put this?” Lucidna sighs as she looks for the correct words to say. 

“I guess I can’t think of anything else to say. Basically, she was a massive dick.” Hearing those words come out of Lucidna’s mouth shakes me to my very core.

“Stop looking at me like that, I couldn’t think of an apt substitute.” Seeing Lucidna get the closest to flustered I’ve ever seen her also shakes me to my core, although in a very different way.

“ Anyway, she thought very little of those below her, so she wrote deliberately to be as non-understandable and unintuitive as possible so that those she perceived as lacking in knowledge to her wouldn’t be able to understand what she was writing. As a result, her work has a pretty high difficulty curve. The book I gave you is a simplified version written several centuries after her death, however.”

OK, that kind of makes me like Beira a little less. In Jody’s song about her death, she did come off as quite cold and uncaring. She was the Archon of Frost, after all. But, shouldn’t have Kári written about this stuff as well? 

“What about Kári?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He also went to space, and made paintings, shouldn’t he also have books?” 

“Kári’s books on the subject prioritize the reader’s emotions and writing a good story. Beira’s work is much more serious and scientific than his.”

OK, I see. So it’s like a sci-fi writer writing about space vs an actual astrophysicist writing about space. Both are really fun to read about, but they both occupy very different niches. I remember when I was in middle school, I had read an adult book about the universe. I remember how in string theory all the spatial dimensions were scrunched up in microscopic loops, and how it explained time dilation with diagrams in a way I could actually understand. I’d like to read something like that again now that I’m older, but I think that’s way beyond my reading level, especially with how Lucidna described it. Maybe later, but I’ll start by reading Kári’s work instead.

“Can you point me towards Kári’s work on the subject as well then? I’d like to work my way up to Beira’s level.” 

“Alright, I will, that’s fine. One more thing before I do though.” 

“Yes?” 

“Turn your communication orb off.” 

“What? Now?” 

“Yes, now.” I followed Lucidna’s orders quickly and shut the thing off.

“Repeat your plan from just now, in our language, in my tone.” Oh God, you’re putting me on the spot like this? Oh no, um, I quickly try and put all the words together in my head, oh but I have to make sure to copy Lucidna’s tone, I try and replace the words with more mature synonyms- 

“You have until the count of 3.” Lucidna interrupts, causing me a great deal of panic.

“I would like to read Kári’s books about space… and get better at reading… until I can read Beira’s work on the subject.” Lucidna moves her head slightly and hms. “Put the sentence together faster and don’t slow down in the middle, other than that you did perfectly.” I sigh in relief.

“It’s been five weeks since I first met you. You’ve changed quite a lot, but you are still quite similar. The panic at the countdown still most definitely hasn’t changed.” You’re really going to scold me for stressing out in a clearly stress inducing situation?

“You’re able to read the most basic literature fluently and hold basic conversations without the communication orb with only a little bit of assistance. Soon you’ll be practically an independent user. I believe that at this point we can discontinue our practice sessions.” 

“What?!” 

“Shh!”

Lucidna shushes me again, looking around, people in the library are staring at me again… scary… 

“And I was thinking you broke that bad habit.” 

“Um… Librarian Von Stein, with all due respect… I still have much to learn… I believe you’re being too hasty with your decision.” 

“Nonsense, you got your point across well, in a mature tone, without the communication orb. There isn’t any real need for the kind of practice we’ve been doing up until now. Just gaining experience by reading and talking to other people should be your main priorities now.”

“B-but-” 

“Don’t. My decision is final.” Lucidna raises her voice slightly again for the first time in a while. Honestly, I’m really upset. Our time studying together was legitimately really fun. I’m really going to miss it. Maybe we could still read together. I could ask her for help whenever something difficult came up. Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll have to ask her about that. I turn off the communication orb to make this easier-

“So, now that you’re done studying reading and writing, we’ll move onto your basic magic education tomorrow.” 

“Huh?!” 

“Shh!” Yeah, yeah, shush me, but that caught me off guard! Magic education?! 

“Why are you looking at me like that? When I first hired you, we agreed I’d teach you literacy, then we’d move on to magic, did we not? Don’t tell me you forgot.” 

“No, of course not, I would never forget about something that meant so much to me. Don’t be ridiculous.” I forgot, I completely, totally forgot.

“Moving on, that will start tomorrow, so make sure to enjoy yourself leading up to it. I’ll recommend some books Kári’s penned that you’d find interesting so you can read in your freetime, but your time spent with me will be spent learning magic, understood?” 

“Understood.” 

“Additionally, although I doubt you need to hear this, I should probably tell you anyway. Just because we’ve stopped studying reading and writing together does not mean you do not have anything left to learn. Books for children your age are still beyond your reading level, and you speak our language far too slowly and clunkily to hold conversations. Do not stop reading, and do not stop talking to people without the communication orb. Understood?”

“Understood.”

“Moving on to your magic education tomorrow, as you know, there are many spatial anomalies within this library. They all serve various different purposes, and have various levels of importance, but they all must be maintained. Become adept enough with magic, and you will be allowed to help maintain them.

As you advance further, you’ll be allowed further into more restricted parts of the library. Areas that you could never have even hoped to have found. You’ll be allowed to read books that aren’t even allowed to leave this library due to the inherent risk involved. Information hazards, books older than the Archons, pieces of information taken from different worlds, they all exist within this library, just far out of sight. As you become more skilled with magic you’ll be allowed to discover more and more of them.

Of course, with a soul like your’s, you could likely become a Librarian with just one or two years if you practice well enough. You could also earn many raises, although I know that’s not what you’re studying magic for. You’re lustful, not greedy after all. There is a difference between the two.”

“I really don’t like to be called lustful…”

“Whether you like it or not, my words remain the truth.”

Ignoring the last things Lucidna said, this is really getting me excited. It’s triggering a whole lot of things within me. It’s getting to the point I’m starting to feel pain knowing I have to wait until tomorrow to start. I just want nothing more than to start learning magic now! Are all the things I’ve found in this library really just the beginning?! I have to know! I really have to know!

“Yes, that is certainly the reaction I’d expect out of your soul after that little monologue, Azariah.”

><><><><

A day has passed, and it’s time for me to finally start learning magic. It’s been quite a long road up to this point but I think I’m finally ready. I woke up early today in an incredibly good mood. I got everyone I knew in Kári’s cult to wish me good luck, including Jody! Despair at not being his girlfriend right now? Never heard of it!

 Fortunately, Lucidna couldn’t just teach me in the middle of the library, which takes us to the first place in the library that I’ve “unlocked” as I’ve called it. The first place Lucidna’s taking me to that I never would have discovered, and would have gotten reprimanded sternly on the spot had I even done so. It’s just so exciting!

Lucidna leads me down a long, dark stairwell, lantern in hand. I’m following close behind her as I’m honestly quite creeped out, which is also exciting me even more. I guess it’s kind of like watching a really good scary movie, and it starts to really unnerve you right in the first few minutes. You just know the rest of the movie is going to be good, even if it’s giving you the creeps. 

I’ve divided the areas that I haven’t explored in the library yet into two categories. The first is places that I knew were there, but I just wasn’t allowed to go into, and the second are areas that I wouldn’t have even begun to think could have possibly been there in the first place. This stairway is the former. 

In the basement area Lucidna and I usually work, there’s a back area that can only be unlocked with a key. Inside that space is a secret door behind a bookshelf which takes us to this dingy place. What other places like this in the library are there that I’d never have any hope in hell of finding? Thinking about all the unimaginable things that could be in this library, never to see the light of day scares me, but also excites me to no end!

“Lucidna? How much longer?” As exciting as all this is, walking down stairs gets rather boring quickly. 

“Stop complaining, we’re almost there.” Almost as if on cue, we reach the bottom of the stairwell, which leads to a large and thick solid iron door. Lucidna takes out more of her keys and unlocks the thing. Lucidna has to exert herself quite a bit to open it. It opens with a screeching sound. It’s the sound of metal scraping against metal, which causes me to involuntarily cover my ears. 

“Come on.” Lucidna says after it’s opened. I follow her through.

The area that we walk into is a hallway with an incredible amount of evenly spaced doors that seems to go on forever. Looking into the distance, I can see Lucidna and myself. Beyond them is another Lucidna & Azariah, and so on. It’s like that in the other direction too. 

“Mirrors.” The word escapes my lips. 

“No, actually. It’s an infinitely looping hallway.” Huh?! Seriously?! That’s way cooler than my explanation! I’ve been in a few hallways like that while in this library, but I could never see myself all throughout it like this! What’s the difference?! I have to know!

I start waving my hand at the other Azariahs, and mess around with my hair. If left to my own devices, I could play around here for hours. 

“Come on, we aren’t here to play around.” 

For better or for worse, Lucidna ruins the fun and forces me into one of the doors in the infinite hallway of doors. How many times must she have been here for her to not be even the slightest bit interested? I can’t see myself not playing around every time I encounter a place like this. I did the same thing in my past life whenever two mirrors were organized into such a configuration in my past life, after all.

I follow Lucidna into one of the many rooms within this infinite hallway. Alright, this is it. My magical education will finally begin! After so long within this world, it’s finally happening! How exhilarating!