We get in rather quickly. The entrance fee is a bit expensive at 3 silver coins per person. That’s 18 silvers between all of us. Me and Jody are splitting the bill down the middle. Jody said he’d pay for it all since he came from a well off family, but since I was the reason we were here in the first place I really wanted to pay. Jody insisted and Ulfoa eventually just told us to split it 50/50.

We’re walking around everywhere for a good 15 or so minutes admiring all sorts of paintings and sculptures. Apparently Jody comes here often, and he was able to explain the history of all the pieces and their artists way more in depth than the random plaques by the pieces did. He even had dates memorized. Something I was incredibly impressed with since I’ve always struggled with those.

I was having quite a lot of fun, even up until then when I saw a certain painting which demanded all of my attention. It looked to be a painting of this world. It wasn’t a map though, it looked to be a painting of what this world would look like from orbit. You could see the way the horizon curved due to the spherical nations of planets and you could see how the geography of this world curved around it. You could see clouds over the planet, but the background was just pure black. Nothing but black.

“Huh? Azariah, you’re rather captivated by this piece, aren’t you?” Jody says, noticing me just standing here staring at it. 

“I think… it’s rather… beautiful…” Aliya joins me. No, I don’t think you quite get it, Aliya. This painting looks exactly like a photograph someone took from in orbit. This shouldn’t be something a culture which knows nothing of the cosmos would be able to produce. And yet, here it is…

“It’s a rather great piece. One of my favorites. All We Know Is This #3 by the Archon of Wind, Kári.” is what Jody has to say about it. “All We Know is This”... what a title. I go to try and read the plaque under the painting, but a lot of it is written in rather complicated language. I do manage to get “by Kári”, though.

“Ah, that might be a little bit difficult for you to read, Azariah, the language is quite antiquated.” Jody notes. 

“Hey Jody?” I say. 

“Yes?” 

“Can you please tell me what it says?” 

“Yes, it’s a quote from Kári, and it’s quite long, are you ready?” 

“Yes.” Jody then begins reading the quote.

“Even by my standards as an Archon, the journey this high was greatly laborious. The higher you go, the thinner the air gets, the harder it is to breath and eventually there is no air at all, so I had to bring my own air along with me. What’s more, at a certain point, during the day, temperatures will grow so cold, they put even Beira’s coldest frosts to shame, so I had to regulate the temperature of the air I brought with me as well. But it was oh so worth it.

Once I had reached this zenith and looked back down at our world, I was assaulted by a wide range of emotions I had never felt before. Worthlessness, wonder, awe, inadequacy, appreciation, and several others joined me upon my flight and stayed with me even upon my arrival back to solid ground.

Down to my very soul, I could only think of just how pathetic we are all. All of our conflicts, all of our relationships, every man woman and child of every race, and creed were down there, within my view, yet I felt utterly powerless. I had gained a newfound appreciation for just how pathetic I, and everyone else was?

My loyalty to the Earth God? My wives? My husbands? My lust? My magic? My appreciation for the arts? My fame? My life itself, and all my memories & experiences? All down there, yet another unrecognizable speck of dust.

Even with this realization, my only regret is that I was unable to do it any justice at all with my lacking skill. Portraying that emotion I felt then in paint or any other medium is beyond even me.”

Wow… just wow… 

“Azariah… are you… crying?” says Aliya. Holding my fingers up to my eyes, I realize I had shed a single tear. I quickly wipe the tears away. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I was taken aback by that…” 

“I understand how you feel.” says Jody. 

“I need to sit down for a bit…” I say, and everyone goes with it. I sit down and think about that for a bit.

The main question I’m thinking of is why the hell has no one mentioned that yet? Surely that would be the most important thing to mention about Kári, right? The more I hear about him, the more I can’t help but fall more in love with the guy, but this goes beyond that. Learning he was a femboy? Learning he supported art and was an artist himself? Learning he had husbands? This went beyond any of that. The fact that he’d actually been to space makes all of those look like nothing in comparison.

I want to doubt it, I really do, but I can’t. A culture that hasn’t been to space wouldn’t have been able to create a painting like that. Also, what Kári had described there was definitely the overview effect. He wouldn’t have been able to write about it in that detail if he hadn’t at least heard from someone who had experienced it. I had heard that the Archons were essentially Gods, and that Kári was so powerful he could casually create hurricanes, but it's never been as much in my face as it is now.

The feeling that ends up filling my body is a feeling I haven’t felt with such intensity in either of my lives: Loyalty. Loyalty to the Archon from 800 years ago that used his magic to travel to the cosmos and became humbled by just how little he really was. At this moment, I have become a true member of his cult.

Up until now, it was just a fun get together I could use to do art and chat with people I liked. I only gave to the offerings until now to fit in. I never participated in the prayers either. Now it is different. I want to offer my best to Kári, I want to pray to Kári. I know he’s long dead, but I heard through this world’s magic system he was still able to interact with the world and answer prayers.

I think I understand now. I don’t know if anyone else feels the same way, but I feel now as if praying to Kári isn’t for him to listen to us, and to fix all our problems, it’s a constant attempt to finally be heard by such a great being. I’ll give my best to you, Kári! I’ll be noticed by you! Since I’m an otherworlder, maybe even one day I could join you in the group of few people who have seen this pale blue dot for speck it is. Oh, how honoured I would be…

><><><><

Time does not wait for me to come to terms to my realization, and it quickly becomes night. We went around the entire art museum after that, but nothing even came close to that painting. I had asked Jody what the “#3” was about, and he explained that Kári did at least thirty paintings of the planet from orbit, most of which aren’t around today. Apparently #1 is stored in the floating city Aeracrest over in Monster Country, and #2 got destroyed in a fire 600 years ago.

Anyways, I’m sitting on a bench, just outside the art museum looking up at the stars. They’re all so distant, but Kári could get closer to them, even if it was an astronomically small amount of distance he actually covered. Even if it really doesn’t matter, I also want to get closer to those far away stars, like you, Kári.

“Enjoying yourself out here, Azariah?” Jody’s beautiful voice. Turning around, I see Jody walking up to me and Ulfoa following close behind.

“I think we’re pretty much done for today, Ulfoa. Join April and the others, and head back home, will you?”

“If you say so, Jody…” Ulfoa then leaves as Jody closes the distance between us and sits down next to me.

“So, what are you thinking about?”

“The stars… I was just thinking about how Kári got closer to them than any of us ever could…”

“How poetic. I could probably turn that idea into a song, if you’d like.”

“Please don’t. That would be far too embarrassing…”

“If it matters that much to you, I’ll promise not to sing it to anyone. I just want to see what I could do with the concept. You aren’t a song writer, but you are an artist, right? I’m sure you understand the feeling.”

“Yeah, I do.” I’m actually having a conversation with Jody. Completely alone. On a topic that’s near and dear to me. Is it possible for me to be happier?”

“I’ll even let you help write if you want. As you know, the Graham family is an important family within Kári’s cult, so my residence is rather large. I’m sure I could find a well enough place for you, if you wanted to come over and stay the night.”

My heart nearly stops in happiness as I hear this. Stay the night? With Jody? I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it now!

“Of course, if you don’t want to, I understand. I don’t want to be overbearing, after all.”

Overbearing? Overbearing?!

“I don’t really… think that you could be overbearing around me, Jody.” Given some of my more private thoughts about you, that’s probably impossible.

“Are you sure about that? Since you’re a newcomer, I’m not sure how you feel about this, but I’m sure you know that members of our cult tend to be rather… promiscuous…”

Huh? No, this is my first time hearing that. The rush of emotions that starts welling up within me could only be described as intense, though not in a bad way.

“I’m certainly no exception. I’ve had quite a few relationships with both men and women, but I’m currently by my lonesome in that regard.”

Huh?! Seriously?!

“I can understand if that’s a little off putting to you, Azariah.”

Oh, it’s quite the opposite actually. Especially the relationships with men part…

“What about Ulfoa though, you two are so close.” Jody looks at me with a rather cute blank expression.

“Oh, I don’t think the relationship between me and Ulfoa is the relationship between a man and a woman. We’re just friends, I think. Friends with certain pleasurable bonuses involved, but friends nonetheless.”

Oh… Oh… I can’t quite describe the emotion that fills my body right now, but I do know it’s a positive one. It quickly gets replaced by concern however.

“Is… is she really OK with you talking about her like that?” Jody looks at me with a cute, confused expression. Every single expression he makes is cute.

“No, she doesn’t mind. It’s not like we make any attempt to hide it. Or anyone else in our cult for that matter. I’m honestly quite surprised the first time you’re hearing this is from me.”

I’m really conflicted. On one hand, that sounds awesome, on the other there’s no way I could possibly handle that sort of thing right now.

“Well, moving on with what I wanted to talk with you about. I’m currently by my lonesome. It’s just that seeing just how much you appreciate art, has caught my attention. I know that you draw every single day for the mass offering, and the level of emotion you showed upon seeing that painting… well I guess I might have caught a few feelings for you, recently.”

Huuuuh?! Am I dreaming, I have to be dreaming, there’s no way this is real!

“I have no intention of stopping my activities with Ulfoa, and I know that can be a huge deal breaker for those outside our cult, so I understand if you don’t feel the same way towards me.”

Oh, it’s quite the opposite for me. I wonder if Ulfoa’s into women. If she let us have a threesome I think I’d actually die of happiness.

“But your passion and love for art, hidden behind that reserved personality and that mysteriously alluring appearance off yours are things I absolutely adore about you.”

I’m being completely overwhelmed. Yes! Yes! Yes! This is the perfect time! Tell him just how you feel about him!

“Of course, if you don’t want that kind of relationship with me, I’ll just forget about it and move on. But if you gave me the chance to be with you, I’d love nothing more than to spend time with you, Azariah.”

Aaaaaaaaahhh! This is perfect! There’s no other words I could possibly use to describe it!

“So, what do you say, Azariah?”

Yes, please! I want to tell him I want to be his girlfriend. I want to tell him I want to live with him. I want to tell him to take me right here and now. But when I do, I seize up. Anxiety. No, not now. Anytime but now. He’s right here, he’s offering himself to me, so why do I feel so nervous? What could possibly go wrong here? I don’t understand.

Maybe I’m not ready for this sort of thing? Yeah, that’s why I’m getting so nervous. I’m scared because of the possibility that this kind of thing might not be all it's cracked up to be. That thought terrifies me. Whether it’s healthy or not, a huge part of my personality revolves around the idea of what personal relationships are like. Not having my preconceived notions confirmed when I actually go through this sort of thing could shake me to my very core.

Yeah, I don’t think I’m ready for this yet. I’m still far too immature. For my emotions to be showing themselves like this, it’s just confirmation I still have a lot of growing to do before I could be in a relationship with anyone. There’s also the fact that Jody’s being so mature about it, which is just adding to those feelings.

The fact that this is the case only highlights my childishness, but what I’m about to say might just be the saddest thing I’ve ever said.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m ready for that sort of thing yet. I would love to continue being friends, though.”

Jody doesn’t even look a little bit upset as he stands up. “Alright, that’s fine. If you think you’re ready, and I’m still not with anyone, feel free to talk to me again. I’d also be fine, if you approached me if I was already in one or two relationships already, but if you’re not OK with that, there’s no need to force yourself.”

Being in a polyamorous relationship with Jody… I want it… I want it so badly…

“Well, see you tomorrow, Azariah.”

“See you…”

Jody then leaves, completely unaffected by my rejection. He’ll be fine. He’ll continue writing songs, and performing for Kári’s cult. He’ll go about his life completely fine, as if nothing even happened. As for me, though… I begin to cry. I already know I’m not going to take this well.