My body is urging me to just stay with Alix and not go our separate ways, I guess I get attached too easily to people and I don’t want to drive away the first person I’ve met, plus I really like her and I think we’ll be able to be really good friends based off our meeting. One can hope. 

Wondering if my roommate would be homophobic isn’t a new topic for my brain to occupy itself with, the scenarios have been playing over and over in my head for weeks leading up to today, now standing in front of the dorm room, I wonder if I should have maybe not worn eyeliner and a pride pin on my jacket. My neck gives up on supporting my head upon my shoulders, letting it drop and hang limply in front of me, I can’t do this. 

“You're gonna just stand there forever?” I blurt out a short shriek of shock, when I feel a presence behind me, matching an unfamiliar voice. I whip my head around and look at the tall man looming over me. 

“Are you my new roomie or have you come here for me?” He asks, straight, shoulder length hair, falling over his eyes. 

“Um, this is my assigned room number.” I manage to speak, barely. 

“Cool, come on in then.” The guy walks around me, unlocking the door and opening it wide before gesturing for me to walk in. I pick up my luggage and heave it through the door, turning around to find that he had picked up the last one and was carrying it in behind me.

“Thanks.” I say, internally cringing immediately after for no specific reason. He flops back onto his own bed, folding his arms behind his head and leaning against them before sticking a cigarette into his mouth and pulling out a small lighter. He pauses before lighting it, his eyes shifting back to me.

“You don’t mind do you? Sorry.” I honestly couldn’t care less, as long as I opened a window afterwards so I set to work unpacking. 

After  a few minutes of somewhat comfortable silence, I feel the bed behind me creak, alerting me to the guy's movement of sitting up. 

“What’s your name kid.” he addresses me, still wary, I turn around slowly to face him before glimpsing up at his face. 

“Connor.” He nods in thought, I look anywhere but him.

“My name’s Sean, let me know if you need anything. I’m willing to help out.” A genuinely kind half-smile graces his features. I think this will be okay. I think that too myself right before his eyes drop subtly to the rainbow flag pin on my jacket. Every part of my body is set into a frenzy of tingles, maybe I spoke to soon, his gaze only lands on it for a split second but it's enough to make my nerves sky rocket, as quickly as it happened he’s staring at my face again, with a calm expression, contrasting my own. 

“I like your eyeliner. Did you do it yourself? You’ll have to teach my girlfriend how to do it properly, she can’t do those wing things for shit, she gets very frustrated with it.” He chuckles to himself, probably at the thought of his girlfriend getting upset over her makeup. I can’t help the small smile that itches onto my face at the small gesture of acceptance. At least I think that’s what it was. 

I had just sat down on the comfortable bed, the vibes just made through conversation making me feel a lot more comfortable, it was only when I had settled down that Sean asked more questions.

“So how old are you? You look pretty young?” he starts, leaning forward, head propped up on hands while simultaneously man-spreading. 

“I’m 19” My friends had decided to either take more time away from school or go to other colleges, leaving me to fend for myself. 

“Huh. I guess that would seem about right. That makes me…” He pauses to count on his fingers while staring idly into space.

“4 years older than you, geez that’s quite a lot.” he giggles a bit. I couldn’t tell if he was high or just like this honestly. Probably both.

“Anyway, what are you studying? I myself am an expert photographer.” he gestures to himself, sloppily, canceling out the slight chance that he could be in any way fully sober. 

“Cool, um, I’m studying game design.” The smile I give him is tight-lipped and his face clearly shows his interest in what I've said. 

“Dude, that’s so cool. I have big expectations for you man.” He points at me with a goofy grin and I let out a small laugh. 

We had spent a while in the small cafe, it wasn’t getting busy so we weren’t exactly holding up the table, but we felt bad and decided to leave after a while. The city was a new place and it was filled with brands and stores both popular and unheard of, lots of cafes and restaurants. The rest of the day was spent looking around, neither of us buying anything or trying to find anything in particular, just getting used to our new home. 

We’re heading to the beach, on the other side of the college, there was an easy shortcut on the outskirts of the city which was probably how most other people got there who weren’t students. Our bare feet hit the sand as soon as golden hour arrived. I stop and stare far out to sea, taking a deep breath. 

I try to just focus on the calming sounds of the waves, the fresh air, and the beautiful view, not on all the tears threatening to escape. 

They weren’t sad tears.

They were happy tears.

I hadn’t expected college to go so great, let alone the first day. 

I thought it’d be hell.

Instead I got heaven. 

Today alone was better than anything I could have wanted my college experience to be. 

I want to soak up as much of today and it’s moments before it’s torn away from me by sleep and the false fantasy it was disappears, leaving everything to go to shit. 

I can feel Alix’s eyes on me and I realize that I’ve probably been zoned out and teary eyed for a bit too long. I snap out of it, putting my head down before I make awkward eye contact with her, I’m ruining everything all by myself. 

Something cold is pressed up against my skin, a shiver shoots up my spine. I look down at my hand to see what caused it but my eyes are met with Alix intertwining our fingers, not saying anything, merely holding my hand, grounding me and letting me know she’s there. We’ve only known each other for a day but this person is so far the best friend I could ask for.

Sunsets are always beautiful, but this one was special. I hope I remember it forever. The sky was filled with reds and oranges, clouds changing color to fit the theme. We had somehow chosen the best time to go to the beach all week, as the giant, bright yellow ball of gas sank slowly past the horizon. We both can’t take our eyes off of the sky, not having to talk to enjoy each other's presence. I let myself fall back onto the sand laying flat and staring up into the endless red, which Alix fit right into with her fiery hair. I wasn’t expecting her to join me in laying down in the sand, that is already consuming our clothes and making itself unable to get off of our bodies for several days. I laugh and it kinda turns into a fake sob.

“We still need to eat, and then walk home.” I complain, only half joking, raising my arms up a bit and letting them flop back down, Alix gives a real laugh.

“You're right, now that you mention it I'm starving.” she sits up easily before getting to her feet and extending a hand to where I was still laying, looking up at her. Her hair fell over her shoulders, I could see it, but she blended in too well with the colors in the sky. Just like I thought, she looked like a part of the scene,like an actual ray of sunshine. I grab her hand to help myself up and am immediately reminded of the fact that despite looking like the literal sun, she has freakishly cold hands. 

“Are you sure you’re not dead?”

We finally reach the path back to the city. I'm not unfit but walking all day has been exhausting. 

“ I am so unfit, I’m gonna pass out now.” Alix exclaims and is about to lay down but I hold onto her arm stopping her from going anywhere. 

“You don’t want to be covered in anymore san- Shit, we're still covered.” I realize we haven’t taken the time to brush ourselves off and were about to walk right into a city with sand all over behind us. We start frantically flicking off all the sand we can, while laughing uncontrollably. 

“We can’t go anywhere like this.” I was hungry but I do have at least some dignity left.”

“Fast-food it is then” 

“Do you think we could walk through the drive-thru?” I was not walking into McDonalds or some shit in this state. Alix gave me the ‘really?’ stare and I dropped it.

“Fine, I’ll go in, since you're too socially inept.” I roll my eyes and she fake scoffs before agreeing. 

We spend the walk talking about where we’re getting food and where exactly we’re going to eat said food, I say we can get something for my roommate and eat there, Alix agrees faster than I thought she would being the introverted little shit she is, though I have no idea if Sean will actually be there or if he wants food so we decide on getting an unreasonable amount of nuggets, fries and some drinks, enough to feed a group of three hungry wolf-pigs.

 After securing the bags, the automatic doors open in front of me, letting in the cool night air and revealing Alix standing around in the parking lot under a fluorescent street light, looking at her phone. 

I contemplate sneaking up behind her and trying to scare her but I guess that's not really a good idea; we're not exactly strangers anymore but I haven’t been around her enough to know how she’d react to that and whether my face would get permanent damage or not. Instead I just call out to her and we fall back into step with each other. 

“Alix” I say, not thinking of something to say after that, she hums in response and looks at me, waiting for me to continue. 

A weird grunting/groaning/voice crack noise drains from the back of my throat as I throw my head back in defeat. 

“ I dunno, I just started a sentence without having anything to say.” 

Ugh why did I do that! 

Alix only smiles 

“Well I have something to say to you.” I raise an eyebrow, eager for her to go on.

“Thank you.” I wait for an elaboration but low and behold there is none, I have to search for one myself. 

“What for?”

“Today. Being nice to me. Being my first, and maybe only friend.”

Turns out Sean is home, I find out unlocking the door to him sprawled out on the middle of the floor between our beds. 

“Sean, you okay?” I cautiously walk up to him, checking to see if he was still conscious. Closed eyes snap open meeting mine above him. 

“Oh hey you’re back” he greets me with a dopey smile before sitting up and reaching for his beanie and plopping it back on his head. From where he’s sitting and where I’m crouched, trapped in between the beds he moves his head around me to see Alix standing at the doorway.

“And you brought a guest. Makin’ friends already kid!” 

“Yeah, this is Alix” I laugh, Alix gives Sean a little wave and I motion for her to come in, to which she shuffles a few steps forward. My eyes roll before I can stop them.

“Are you hungry? We bought extra food in case you were here and wanted some.” Sean's face turns into one when you see the cutest little kitten or something and start crying from adorableness. Because his eyes were definitely tearing up.

 Did I trigger him or something!

“Connor, you are the best roommate ever! Never leave me!” he starts clinging onto me in a desperate hug. I pat his shoulder weirdly, because we’re still a bunch of limbs tangled on the floor in a small space. It's hard to move, I look up at Alix who is chuckling softly.

“Damn, looks like you did luck out on roommates Connor.” she says, I remember her situation. Sean finally lets his arms drop and face returns neutral like he wasn’t just sobbing over cheap takeout.

“Why? Who's your roommate?” he asks Alix.

“Well all she said was her name’s Jayden-” 

“OH GOD YOU POOR THING” He interrupts yelling in sympathy. Yikes, it must be bad. 

“I pray that you get a new roommate instead, surely they can’t let that monster live with someone!” he continues, I think he’s being a bit dramatic. 

“Actually I’ll need to find one anyway because she kicked me out immediately.” she explains, he sighs shaking his head.

“Do you know her personally?” he must know her very well for this to be his reaction. 

“Oh no! But she is terrifying, I see her around a lot and she never seems to even tolerate ANYONE.” 

We dig into the food and the chatting continues, just talking about everything, mostly Sean telling us things about the college. When Alix leaves it's pretty late so we clean up and I spend my first night trying to fall asleep in my new home away from home.