Sophie laid on the ground unconscious. Ari, who had been by my side the whole time, first put their hand on my shoulder, and then hugged me. We remained silent for a while, but I soon felt the water escaping my irises. I sobbed uncontrollably while Ari wiped away my tears.
When I was a bit calmer, they asked: ‘What are you going to do with her?’
I did not answer at first. What was I supposed to do with Sophie? Should I take her life? Did I even have the right to do so? Did I really have to go to such lengths, when my objective was having an easy life?
‘I will banish her from our territory’, I finally replied.
‘That’s it?’
‘Why? Do you have something else in mind?’
‘The maid tried to kill you. She could pose a threat in the future. You should not let her live’.
I looked at Ari’s face and analysed their expression for a moment. Their eyes were devoid of any emotion, and the mouth did not move. When Ari suggested taking Sophie’s life they were serious about it, but spoke as if murder was as something as mundade as getting dressed for work every morning. That was not the behaviour one would expect from a guardian angel.
‘Are you even allowed to say stuff like that?’, I questioned.
‘Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Because… you’re a guardian angel? Last time I checked, God did not approve of meaningless killing’.
Ari burst out laughing. I was astounded by their reaction. Was it really so funny that I thought angels were forbidden from killing? On the other hand, I did remember some films in which angels were portrayed as emotionless bastards. That could be Ari’s case.
‘My dear… you must understand. I was a guardian angel. Emphasys on the past tense. Now I am the Spirit King of Wind. Such morals do not concern me any longer. I’m just thinking of what is best for you, because I too want you to live an easy life here. And killing the maid is definitely your best course of action at the moment’.
‘But.. once a guardian angel, always a guardian angel… right? I mean… we don’t forget our previous lives so easily. I can still vividly remember my days as Sena’.
‘You’re right, but… Once we crossed dimensions we also inherited the memories that came with these bodies. This guy had thousands of years worth of memories, of course they also influenced me’.
‘But then… doesn’t that mean you are no longer the Ari who would follow me around and protect me back on Earth, but a completely different being?’
‘That is correct. But isn’t it the same for you? Are you able to say that Tsisana’s memories do not influence you one bit? You are changing, and so am I, for that is only natural’.
I did not want to admit it, but Ari was right. I was now Sena and Tsisana, which meant I was neither one nor the other. I was a third individual, brought into the world only too recently and, therefore, unable to discern my own identity.
Such thoughts, however, were unimportant at the moment. A woman’s body was lying unconscious on the floor of my office, and I had to make a decision, preferably before she woke up.
I believe the real Tsisana wouldn’t have had any problems with killing a person. At a later point in the narrative, she killed her enemies mainly by cutting off their heads. When reading, I thought her unusual fighting style was impressive, and was thrilled whenever someone’s head went rolling. However, it was a different situation altogether if I had to do it myself.
I took a deep breath and looked at the painting behind me. I searched for a word of advice from Boreas’s portrait, knowing it was useless. Ari avoided my eyes, so as not to pressure me into making a decision. The air felt heavy, and I realised that, no matter what I decide to do, in the end, none of the outcomes would be favourable to me.
If I killed Sophie, I would have to live with the guilt of taking her life. Sena had never killed anyone before, and neither had Tsisana, at least so far. It is true that I would not have to worry about an enemy coming back to haunt me, but could I really ignore her death as if it was nothing?
On the other hand, if I did not kill Sophie, and simply banished her from my territory, she could always come back and pose a threat to me and my loved ones. What was the right answer?
Boreas’s face looked kind even in the portrait. I sighed. I had made my decision.
‘I can’t do it, Ari. It just doesn’t feel right. I’ll banish her and go to the Academy. I’ll never have to see her again’.
Ari looked at me with concern in their eyes. Finally, their just shrugged and said:
‘Suit yourself, but one of those is a bad decision, you have been warned’.
‘They are both bad decisions, Ari’.
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