The drill instructor really went above and beyond for my idea. Not only did he bring the equipment I asked for, but he also enlisted at least 2 dozen referees, who would oversee that the rules of the game would be honored and who had the authority to act on infringements. Just one look at them was enough to tell everyone, that it’d be better to not mess with them. Furthermore he brought a hundred orange headbands, 10 blue ones and about 30 yellow ones, which were for the referees.
“Okay everyone, listen up: Everyone gets one of these and they will
determine the team they are on. These pieces of cloth are your life.
Loose them and you’re ‘dead’. As such, without your headband
being openy visible, you are not permitted to attack opposing
players. Attacks on the referees will not be tolerated either. Lethal
force is also not allowed and punishable by law. Break the rules and
you’re getting out of here and into prison or the gallows,
depending on what you did. Everything clear so far?”
I asked,
“So it is not allowed to attack an active player without wearing a
headband of the opposing team, is that correct?”
“Yes, that
is correct. Any more questions?”
Nobody raised another
question and that suited me just fine.
“Good, now for how the
game works. Usually there’d be two flags, one for each team, and
the team who manages to snatch the enemy flag and bring it back to
its own flag scores. However this time we are playing by different
rules, because there is only one flag. The orange team is in the
defense today, the blue team on the attack. If the blue team manages
to raise the flag on the arena square before sundown, they win. If
they don’t, the orange team wins. And please remember, this is a
game. So do try to have some fun.”
The drill instructor stepped off the podium and both teams went to their positions. Naturally the orange team crowded around their flag, but of course we expected that. Only about 10 of them started down into the streets, probably looking for some trouble.
While I was going over the last nuances of the haphazard plan which
would take a small miracle to actually work, the drill instructor
walked up to us and listened in.
After I dismissed everyone to
their positions, he said, “I’ll say, that’s a bold plan to say
the least.”
“It needs to be. Sheer numbers aren’t going to
cut it. We need to do something they don't expect.”
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the
stars,” the drill instructor commented and gave me a warm smile
before saying, “Well, I should let you get to it. I’d love to
help you, but I’m afraid that wouldn’t be fair.”
“They
wouldn’t acknowledge it if you did. Besides, you already helped us
far more than you know. The rules you laid down made a last minute
change of plans possible, increasing our odds greatly.”
“Oh?
I must have missed that part of the plan.”
“You’ll see
soon enough, I’m sure.”
Just then, I heard a horn signal echo through the mostly empty
streets and said, “Well then, it’s showtime.”
The drill
instructor nodded again and we parted ways. While I headed straight
for the wall, where the flag was fluttering in the wind, he went to
his own post, donning the yellow headband himself.
The game had begun.
Upon arriving at the wall, I was, of course, immediately spotted, but the people were reluctant to come for me. They didn’t trust my presence. After all, I was the face of the enemy team. And I wore my blue headband as open as could be, impossible to miss by anyone.
However instead of making a dash for the flag or anything else, I
stood in front of the group of a hundred people and took a deep
breath.
‘Relax, you’ve got this. This is just like back
home, on that Cola truck stage during Christmas a few years ago.’
And
then I started singing. For the first time ever since coming here I
raised my voice in a melody and despite being a little hoarse in the
beginning, I quickly got back into the flow.
The effect was
complete and absolute confusion from the opposing team, but none
attacked.
They all just stood there and listened and only after
I was done, a few of them started clapping, which quickly spread
among the group, with some of them whistling.
Eventually
however, the applause stopped and the apparent leader of the enemy
team walked up to me, “That was nice. Didn’t know you could do
that. But what in the world did you do that for? Aren’t you
supposed to try to fight us?”
“Me? Fight the lot of you? I’m gutsy, but I’m not bonkers.
Besides, it’s not even necessary.”
“Oh? And how do you
intend to win then? Sing us to sleep?”
“Do I look like a
Jigglypuff to you?”
“A...what?”
“Never mind.
Buuut…” I say, eyeing the flag pole just a few dozen meters away
from me, “I suggest you turn around.”
“What do y...what?!
How?!”
I smirked and said, “You see, I am what you would call, a
‘distraction’. And now, I need you to excuse me. Oh and: You’re
dead.”
“What do—” the guy asks, slowly turning back from
the empty flagpole, but it’s already too late. I had already
grabbed his headband and tore it off his head.
The coming moments were a little hectic and I don’t remember them all too clearly, but there was a lot of shouting and yelling involved. Oh and maniacal laughing.
The orange team dispersed into all directions most looking for the flag that had gone missing, another, smaller fraction trying to get me for tricking them like that.
They had no idea, that my team had already won at that point. The drill instructor had made sure of that. Now, that we had the flag, there really was nothing left they could do.
I gave them a little chase through the city, them almost catching me a number of times, but never quite managing to. This improved body with the superior strength and stamina really earned its keep that day.
After a while, I lead the group chasing me to the arena plaza, where most of my allies were already waiting, each of them wearing a orange headband they had taken from stragglers.
I stood behind them, pulled out the headband I had taken from their leaders and put it on and stepped forward to face them.
The first ones tried to attack me, but a sharp whistling tone
interrupted them and the drill instructor stepped in between them and
me, demanding, “Hold it!”
He then turned towards me and
asked, “What is the...no, you did not.”
“Yes. Yes, we did.
All in accordance with the rules. They cannot attack me, because
‘they do not publicly wear a headband of the opposing team’. Just
like my comrades here.”
“You...that’s not how I meant
it!”
“But it is what you said. Do you want to deny that?
Change the rules mid-game? Go back on your word?”
The drill
instructor clenched his fist and then erupted into laughter, “Damn,
that’s good! Of course it’s never going to work on a battlefield,
but…”
“In fact, it would work great on a battlefield.
Without insignia or uniforms, how are you supposed to tell ‘friend’
from ‘foe’? I employed the simple tactic of disguising my people
as ‘the enemy’. On that note, let’s end this game, shall we?
Hand me the horn, please.”
“And you really know how to use
it?”
“Eh, I’ve been a trumpeter for 20some years, I think
I’ve got it covered.”
“Singer, trumpeter, tactician...you
are an interesting man,” the drill instructor admitted.
“Eh,
all in a days work. Anyway…”
I gave the signal for Martha,
who had been hiding in one of the houses of the sisterhood with the
flag to come out and deliver it to the arena, of course also wearing
an orange headband.
Shortly after she arrived in nothing short of a triumph procession, with her sisterhood trailing after her and, again after them, two referees and a bunch of guys from the orange team, hanging their heads in defeat. Apparently they too had attempted to attack Martha and got stopped.
When she arrived at the plaza, she said, “I simply can’t believe
that worked.”
“All thanks to the rules. Now, would you
please do us the honors?”
Martha smirked and said, “You may
not be Batman, but you’re at least as crazy.”
“I’ll take
that as a compliment from you,” I replied and watched her as she
walked to the flagpole and hoisted the flag with the patience of
someone who has all the time in the world.
Finally the leader of the opposing team, who had of course seen the
flag getting raised, arrived at the plaza and asked, “Okay, how did
you do it? Did the instructor give you those?”
“No, he
didn’t. He’s been neutral from start to finish. I tricked him the
same just as much as I tricked the lot of you guys. Remember when I
asked for verification about ‘it being not allowed to attack an
active player without wearing a headband of the opposing team’? He
did not explicitly state it, but he acknowledged my statement to be
correct. That was, when I bent the rules towards ‘the way I needed
them to be’. The rest is simple, really. You made three mistakes.
The first one was, that you allowed a few stragglers to roam the
streets. They were easy picking for my ‘troops’. That’s how we
got the orange headbands we now wear. The second one was, that you
allowed yourself to get distracted by me. That way, my disguised ally
was able to take the flag from your pole without raising an alarm.
Though it really was a moot point at that time, seeing how you were
not allowed to attack them anyway. You could still have given our
team a lot more trouble though, if you had noticed in time. And the
third one was, that you allowed yourself to be ‘killed’ by me so
easily. All in all, you guys lost because you underestimated us
greatly. But don’t worry. It was just a game. And the next time,
you’ll know better, won’t you?”
“As will I, you sly dog. Anyway, this concludes today’s
exercise,” the drill instructor stated and patted me on my back,
“Good job, Thomas. I will make sure, that the report to the royal
court will mention what you did today.”
“You are too kind,
Sir.”
“And do keep up with that singing of yours. If nothing
else, the court might employ you as bard.”
“Hah, now
wouldn’t that be something!”
“You never know, Thomas. You
never know. You may not have reached the moon today. But you’ve
certainly made it to the stars, as far as I’m concerned. Godspeed.
And...don’t get yourself killed.”
“I don’t intend to.
Thank you again.”
“No, thank you. Maybe there’s hope for
these people after all.”
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