...Valarichard? No that wasn’t it... Valaronaldo? Hmm... definitely not that... Valarandall? Maybe?

There I was, awkwardly sitting on the massive cadaverous horse, back within the dark and oppressive claws of the forest, watching as Valaricky sliced up some sort of nasty and rather aggressive sentient plant. It was still very dark out, leading me to believe that I’d somehow slept all through the day. I felt rather guilty that he’d held me in that uncomfortable-looking position for so long... I must have been incredibly tired.

Thick suffocating mist obscured the dolorous undergrowth, which struggled to grow within the twisted roots and jagged stones that embroidered the perilous forest floor. It swirled around Valarodney as he sprang backward, trampling a poor unsuspecting fern with his boot, just as three slimy barbed vines viciously lashed out at him like deadly whips. He quickly dodged them, and with a few swift metallic slashes, they were immediately shredded by his menacing blades.

I inwardly cheered, then covered my mouth and gasped, while he effortlessly jumped up and impaled the thing’s sickly black stalk. Crimson goo disgustingly oozed down its front side as it let out an ailing hiss of anguish. The rest of its vines abruptly plopped to the root entangled ground below with a few soft thumps. Then it keeled over, dead as dust.

Yikes...

We’d been back in this damnable forest for about an hour now, and already several harrowing creatures, including massive walrus-sized zombie spiders, had tried to attack us... They might as well have thrown themselves into a blender. Valarobert had been swift to slice them all to mangled smithereens, making me feel far safer than I did the first time being out here.

But regardless of the newfound sense of trust and security that I felt with this strange shadowy man, I was still not pleased that we’d come back. By the way he had been intently looking around and jumping off of the horse to tap on random roots, I had surmised that he was searching for something, but it was hard to know for certain.

I seriously wished that I could just ask him what we were doing out here and if it had any relevance to getting me home. But alas, we were as linguistically unavailing as my stupid useless foot currently was for walking. And I felt as frustrated as a seagull trying to communicate with a baboon.

I tried to comb my fingers through my disheveled golden locks the best I could, while curiously watching his muscular arms powerfully rip the now dilapidated plant’s spiky roots right out of the dark putrid soil. His ridiculously long shadowy hair cascaded down behind him, as he used the sharp tip of his sword to carefully cut two spikey thorns from the root.

With the thorns held safely in his palm, he discarded the rest of the plant by throwing it against a corpse tree. The tree eagerly grasped at it with its skeletal claws, then gobbled the apparently scrumptious thing down with a hiss of satisfaction. I noticed the dull metallic glimmer of a strange sword woven into the bark with it.

Our gazes met, and he had a similar apologetic look to the one when he was about to remove those pesky pebbles from my foot. The whirling veil of mist ominously caressed his cloaked frame like the long spindly fingers of a lovelorn specter, as he strolled back over and began rummaging around in the saddlebag. He pulled out a simple-looking black book with strange dark grey symbols on it.

“Lucilia, come.” His pale clawed hand gently wrapped around my elbow, as he carefully guided me off of the horse and into his arms.

“Oh, okay.” I floundered a bit while trying to wrap my arms around his neck.

He cradled me against his chest, then gently placed me down on a large gnarled root covered in squishy black moss. Luckily I was still wearing his black shirt, so I didn’t have to worry about staining any clothes. Then with the grace of a swan gliding across water, his large frame knelt down on the rugged terrain before me, and he flipped open the book’s aged pages to a marked spot.

I nervously cleared my throat, then gently pointed at the book. “Earth? Yes?” I was extremely curious to know if this was a part of how he was going to get me home.

Please say yes... Please say yes...

“No.” He softly replied.

God fucking dammit.

He pointed to the book while saying something, then began motioning as if his hands were talking to each other in an unintentionally humorous way. A small giggle chimed out of me, but he didn’t join in on my laughter. An apologetic smile flittered across his lips, as he carefully placed the thorns between us.

I stopped giggling and warily watched as he ominously lifted his hand over the thorns, and began chanting some sort of harrowing sounding incantation from the book. His voice was insanely deep and dark, shaded with an otherworldly inhuman ambiance. The harrowing words themselves made my skin crawl, and bile rise in my stomach. It literally sounded like he was trying to summon the devil or something... What in the world?

A ghostly crimson mist began creeping up from the soil and around the thorns. It eerily swirled as it wisped into them with a whispery sounding whoosh. I watched with wide frightened eyes, as Valarafiki carefully picked up one of the misty thorns between his fingers, then said something to me and pointed to his dark grey tongue.

He placed the thorn on the very tip of his tongue, and the thing literally latched onto it. It looked as though he had some kind of bizarre tongue piercing. The crimson mist began creepily pouring from his mouth, then to my horror, he picked up the other thorn, and held it out for me to take.

Oh, fucking hell no! I want absolutely no part of this diabolical ensorcellment!

“Oh no, no, no! There’s no flippin’ way that I’m doing that!” I stubbornly shook my head in refusal. Then I pathetically tried to leave this accursed eldritch ritual, and crawl back to the friendly zombie horse who was happily munching on some ferns. The only other creature in the miserable place that didn’t completely terrify me.

“Lucilia...” He warily drawled with a look of reluctance.

My hand wrapped around a particularly slimy root, while I actively ignored him. “Nope, nope, no- What the!?.”

He suddenly crawled right on top of me, and carefully flipped me over so that my back was firmly pinned to the ground. He looked both penitent and determined, as his legs swiftly imprisoned mine. The crimson mist was still swirling out of his sharp-toothed mouth, making him seem incredibly redoubtable in the misty darkness.

“Holy shit!” I screamed, while frantically trying to wiggle away. “No, please, no! Valarogerick, please!”

“Valarogerick?” Confusion briefly contorted his features, then he quickly shook it away. “Okay, Lucilia, okay.” With furrowed brows, he held the other thorn up to my mouth, trying to get it in. I pinched my lips as tightly closed as I possibly could. “Lucilia...” With a few muffled pleas, I wildly thrashed my head from side to side. “Okay.”

My eyes widened in horror, as he quickly shoved two of his fingers into my mouth, breaking the seal of my lips. “No, please, what are you doing!? What are you doing!?” I tried to say, but it sounded more like the gargled squawk of a strangled guinea hen.

He gently spread his fingers apart, forcing my mouth to open, then he slipped the misting thorn between my lips. I hissed in both displeasure and fear when I felt it latch onto my tongue with a slight pinch and prickling sensation.

“Good.” He calmly said.

Crimson mist was now pouring out of both of our mouths, as he slowly lowered his head to mine. I thought for sure that this otherworldly voodoo freak was about to kiss me, but his lips stopped mere millimeters over mine. His entangled hair cascaded down beside us, as he looked into my eyes with compunction in his scarlet gaze.

What hell is even happening right now!?

“What are-” My words were abruptly cut off and I thrashed in horror, as he swiftly shoved his silky wet tongue into my mouth. The thing was long and powerful. A force to be reckoned with.

I desperately tried to shove him away, but his tall muscular frame was far stronger and heavier than what my noodley lissome arms could manage. The tip of his tongue pressed firmly against mine, and a surge of terror shot through me. My eyes widened in panic, as I felt our tongues literally become attached to one another via the thorns. I hysterically tried to pull my tongue away with a few gaggling noises, but they were locked tightly together.

What the fuck!? What the fuck!? What the fuck!?

The unsettling bones on his forehead furiously twitched, while his mouth muffled all of my terrified screams. I watched in fright as his eyes rolled into the back of his head, making them look like two pools of fathomless midnight. Then my own eyes rolled back, shrouding my vision in complete darkness.

A strange sensation moved through my tongue as if tiny veins were rapidly growing out of the thorns and into my flesh. The feeling swiftly crept to the back of my throat and webbed up into my brain, coiling in the cerebral cortex. The veins tightly wrapped around our entangled tongues, and everything gave one final intense squeeze, then abruptly dissipated.

My vision came flooding back and I unceremoniously gasped for air... What even was that!?

Valarodolphus sat back up, with his legs still imprisoning mine, and spit the thorn off to the side. “Can you understand me?” His deep voice questioned with uncertainty, causing a feeling of shocked bewilderment to fall upon me. It was so strange, He was still speaking in that uncanny language, yet I could understand each word perfectly.

What in the world?

“Lucilia, can you understand what I’m saying?” He reiterated, as I blankly stared up at him with a dumbfounded expression. I was way too frickin baffled to answer him. “Dammit.” He muttered in frustration while climbing off of me and standing back up.

I slowly pulled my bedraggled form up into a seated position while staring at him in complete befuddlement. He’d begun hastily looking over the book with a confused frown, while kneeling back down onto the labyrinthine roots.

“I-gluagh!” I tried to speak but abruptly choked on the sharp thorn in my mouth. Valarodolfo immediately looked up with concern, as if he was worried that I might collapse and die or something. He swiftly glided back over and knelt down before me. I grimaced and spit out the thorn. “I-I can understand you.” I softly spoke, while peering up into his anxious crimson eyes.

A look of pure excitement instantly beamed across his handsome features. “It actually worked!?” He exclaimed and closed the book with a slight thump. “That’s wonderful!”

Then there was a brief awkward silence between us. It was as if we both had too much to say and no idea where to even begin. “Where am I? And what did you just do to me?” I frantically blurted out.

“How did you get here?” He calmly asked at the same exact time.

A harrowing screech resounded nearby, causing a wave of fear to crash over me. “It’s best not to linger here for too long. Come, I’ll explain all that I can.” He softly spoke while picking me up.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, while he effortlessly glided the sort distance back to the horse. “So, um, how is it that we can suddenly understand each other?” I curiously asked, although I highly suspected that it had something to do with that freaky tongue ritual that he’d just performed.

“Well, I just performed a tongue rooting spell.” He said with a slight chuckle, while gently placing me back on the saddle with both of my legs hanging off to one side... Knew it.

“A tongue rooting spell?” I curiously tilted my head, while he placed his book back into the saddlebag.

“Yes, and I apologize for how invasive that was. I understand that it was probably rather frightening for you.” He remorsefully smiled, then continued to explain as he climbed up behind me.

“What it did was spread microscopic roots throughout our tongues and into our brains. They exchanged information from our minds, and are now translating each word we hear.” He pointed back and forth between our heads. “The roots in our tongues should also allow us to fluently speak the other's language if we choose to.” He spoke in perfect English as if testing it out. I stared blankly at him and blinked, while the horse playfully whinnied in front of us.

I have fucking roots webbing throughout my brain and tongue now!?

His muscular arms encaged my frame as he grasped the reins, with my side pressed snuggly against his front. “Oh and, you’re in The Abyss.” He casually mentioned while gesturing all around, then looked me directly in the eye. “How did you get here?”

The Abyss!? What the mother flipping fuck is The Abyss!?