The next day, I woke up feeling sluggish and sick.  Definitely ate way too much.  It wasn't hard to tell with the obvious bloating that was still lingering.  Grateful I didn't have to work that day, I curled up even more under my blankets.  It was too cold outside of the blankets to leave bed just yet.  Slowly, I started to drift off into a light sleep.  Just minutes from being unconscious, my body suddenly decided that nope, not sleeping, and instead, I would be puking.  Without any warning, I hurled over to the edge of my bed and puked.  

As puking normally was, it was an unpleasant experience.  Nobody particularly likes having undigested food and stomach acid run up their throats.  Instead of a quick round of it, my body prolonged it, making me hork up small bits and pieces here and there.  

"Adam??"  Mum must've heard me puking and came upstairs to see what was going on.  "Oh, dear.  Let me get the bucket."

Quickly, she ran off to grab what we called the puke bucket.  I'd say the name explains it.  Before I could ruin the flooring any more than I already had, she ran in with the bucket and placed it in front of me.  Groggily, I sat up and cradled it in front of me, leaning forward a bit, anticipating the next round.  Mum wasted no time in cleaning up my mess.  She did so quietly and only once she cleaned it up did she sit beside me and talk to me.  

"Are you feeling any better?"  She asked gently as she rubbed my back.

I shook my head no.  There was still more to come up, I could just feel it.  Right as I thought that, I puked even more.

Mum sighed.  "You probably ate too much last night.  Your father and I noticed how much more you ate compared to normal."

I just groaned in response.  

"Was there a reason for that?  We found it quite odd."

"Grandparents…"  I coughed.  "I-I was upset…"

"Oh.  Yea.  They really went at you.  I don't blame you for feeling upset and emotionally eating.  How about you rest up, okay?"

Tiredly, I nodded and slid down onto my back more, finding comfort in my pillows.  

"If you ever need to talk, I'm here."  Mum smiled as she moved my hair out of my face.  "Rest up."

Quietly, she left me there with my new best friend, the puke bucket.  As she closed the door behind her, I heard Dad approach her and the two talk.  

"Is he sick?"  I heard Dad ask.  He was most likely asking because he needed me for more wood chopping.

"Yea.  I think he ate too much last night and it's coming back up."  Mum sighed.  "Best to let him rest for the day."

"Hm.  He better be good to go tomorrow.  He's got work."

"Oh, I don't think it'll be any worry.  I'm sure he'll be good to go by tomorrow for sure."

"Good.  Maybe he can think about what his grandparents told him yesterday."

"Dear, they were downright rude to him!  Who would want to think about that?"

"They were right about getting married and having kids though.  And how useless he is as a man."

"Well, maybe he's useless as a man because she's a woman."

Hearing that made me smile.  I couldn't help it.  Nobody used female pronouns for me!  This was the first and I LOVED it.  It almost made me do a little dance.  I'll admit, it was a bit awkward too.  Never hearing people use 'she' for me was obviously going to make it a bit strange.  Still, I loved it.

"Oh, now you're calling him she?"  Dad said in a bit of a growl.  "Did he ask you to do that?"

"No, but I'm smart enough to be able to tell what she wants,"  Mum said.  Hearing that made me smile even more.  The amount of euphoria I was getting at that moment was unbelievable and almost made me feel instantly better.  "In fact, I will talk to her tomorrow and if she wants me to, I'll start referring to her as a woman from now on."

"He is a MAN.  Nothing he does will change that, Matilda.  NOTHING."

With that, I heard him storm down the stairs and out of the house, presumably to chop more wood.  Got to love winter and the constant need for wood to burn.  Always gives a way to let out your anger.

By the next morning, I had nearly forgotten that Mum was planning on talking to me.  I was pretty out of it when I heard them discuss my gender, so not everything stuck. All I really remembered was the euphoria.  Without much thought, I got up and prepared for work like usual.  I was definitely feeling much better than the day before.  No feelings of being sick, nor bloating.  

As usual, I headed downstairs to grab my usual breakfast of bread and butter.  Oddly enough, I found Mum sitting at the dining table, seemingly waiting for me.

"Morning,"  I said as I went to grab my breakfast.

"Morning."  She smiled.  "Are you feeling better?"

"Yea."

"That's good.  Do you mind sitting at the table for a moment?  I want to ask something."

"Sure." I quickly buttered the bread, popped it in my mouth to hold it while I closed the bag it was in, and then sat down at the table.

"So, I was talking with your father yesterday and the topic of gender was brought up,"  She explained.  "Obviously, we disagreed on a couple of things-"

"Don't worry,"  I said.  "I heard the conversation.  You guys weren't exactly quiet."

"Oh… well I guess you know what I want to ask then."

"Mhm."  I nodded.  "If I want to be referred to as a man or a woman?"

"Yes, exactly."

"Well… I know it's not possible around the family or outside, but… I would prefer being referred to as a woman.  Hearing you call me a woman last night… I don't know… It just made me so happy.  It's hard to explain."

"If that's what you want, then I'll do it for you.  I want you to be happy.  And truth be told… I've always wanted a daughter and it's nice to know I've always had one."

I couldn't help but smile.  "Thanks, Mum.  You're the best.  Honestly."

"Why thank you."  Mum pretended to be all that before resuming her normal body language.  "On that note, I also have something else for you!"

"You do?" 

"Mhm!"  She pulled out a big box that somehow, she had secretly hidden under the table. "It's a late Christmas present!  I didn't want you opening it with your father around because well, you'll see."

Excitedly, I popped open the box.  What I saw made me gasp.  

"You didn't!"  I said in shock as I pulled out the brilliant blue, winter-themed dress that I couldn't take my eyes off of at the boutique.  

"I did."  She beamed.  "I kept an eye on it, and when it came on sale, I went and got it right away."

"Oh my gosh!  Mum, you shouldn't have!  Honestly!"

"Oh, but I had to!"

"I wish I could try it on now."  I marveled at it.  A bit sad I couldn't wear it then, I placed it gently back in the box.  "When I get home, putting this on is the first thing I'm doing."

"And I'll be right here waiting to see your happy little face when you do."

Happily, I got up and gave my mother a big hug.  Honestly, I didn't deserve her.  She was too good for me.

All-day, I counted the minutes until I could go home and put on that absolutely stunning dress.  I just couldn't wait!  Picturing myself as a wintery princess made me smile.  While I knew I might not look like that, I knew I would definitely feel like it.  With my boost of mood, dealing with customers was actually fun.  I would chat with them and confidently point them in the right direction.  Even my co-workers noticed my boost and were curious as to why I was so happy.  As much as I wanted to say why I knew I couldn't share the news.  That did upset me a bit, but nevertheless, I wasn't about to let it get me down.

The moment I was released from the iron grips of my work hours, I rushed home, running faster than I thought I could ever run.  Excitement ran through my veins as I kept picturing how magnificent I would feel in that beautiful dress.  Not to mention how warm it would be too!  It took me a total of two seconds to yoink that dress out of its box once I got home.  Impatient as I was at that moment, I already had the dress half on by the time Mum came to help.  Finally!!  I was able to wear what I considered my dream dress!

When it was on, I took a deep breath and looked into the mirror.  Unlike my first one, it fit a lot better, surprisingly.  Mum must've tailored it beforehand.  The shoulders fit perfectly while the sleeves remained a tad loose.  The collar of the blouse hid my cursed Adam's apple perfectly.  And the skirt.  Oh my gosh!  It was stunning!  I still couldn't get over the detail put into the bottom stitching.

"Wow…" Even Mum looked surprised. "You look gorgeous."

"I feel it, too."  I beamed.  "You know what?  I'm wearing this for the rest of the night.  It's too comfortable to get out of."

"I don't blame you."  Mum giggled.  "The lining on it looked quite warm."

"Oh, it is."

I wore that dress for the remainder of the evening.  One giant piece of cloth made all the difference and gave me more self-confidence than I have had in a very long time.  It made me feel like nothing could stop me.  Well… except my Dad.

When he saw it, he flipped his shit.  Nearly flipped the table too.  Seeing it irritated him immensely.  Realizing my mistake of wearing it around him, I backed off rather quickly.  Before he could actually flip the dining table, I ran upstairs to my room and hid.  From there, I could hear Mum get upset with him but it sounded like Dad had had enough.  

"I want that dress burned!!"  He demanded.  "No man should be wearing such a thing!!!"

"She's a woman, and she looks perfectly fine!"

"Matilda, I don't know what world you are living in, but he looks like a clown!!"

"She does not!  And if you would just-"

"Just because you want a daughter doesn't mean you can turn our SON into a one!!"

What he said shocked not only me, but I imagined my mother as well.  There was a silence before I heard Dad storm out of the house, slamming the door loudly behind him, and Mum beginning to sob.  Knowing I was the problem, I quickly changed out of the dress and into clothing Dad would approve of.  Although the moment I had with the dress was magnificent, I wasn't sure it would be happening again.  Not with Dad around anyway.  Fearing he actually would burn it, I hid it in my closet so he couldn't find it.  Then, I headed downstairs to check on my mother.

I found her sitting on the couch, sobbing.  Clearly, what Dad said had really upset her.

"Are you okay?"  I asked quietly as I sat next to her.  Comforting people wasn't my strong suit at all and instead of creating a comfortable atmosphere, I created more of an awkward one.  

"I'll be okay…"  Mum nodded and wiped her tears.  With a small, sad smile, she looked at me.  "I'm sorry he got upset with you like that."

"It's okay… um… about what he said earlier to you?  I swear all this, uh, gender stuff?  It isn't your fault.  I promise."

"I know.  You've been like this since you were an infant.  I guess I'm just a bit… surprised."

"Yea… I am too."

"I would suggest being more careful around him for a bit."  Mum sighed.  "Wait for him to adjust.  Okay?"

"Okay."  I nodded, a bit sad I wouldn't be able to have as much freedom as before.  There was a bit of awkward silence before I instinctively gave her a hug.  I really did feel bad for being the cause of everything.  First, it was Dad always getting upset, and now it was causing a rift between my parents.  Handling it was really hard.  It made that emptiness that I felt not too long ago begin to come back, along with the desperation to fill it.  Thinking I could simply numb it with a small snack was where I messed up.  A simple slice of bread with butter turned into a whole mess.