Last night was important, at least for me. I had a blast with Enrique celebrating my birthday. Even trough we had to talk about what happened earlier that day. I admit I was out of my mind yesterday. Sleeping made me realize that not winning 5 medals was not normal coming from me. At that moment I was only thinking about the fact Enrique won his first medal. Why? Don't even ask me why. I don't know myself. I can't even remember the last time I reacted that way. Wait a minute....Omg I never reacted like that in my entire life! Now it makes since why I didn't understand why I reacted that way... When I was younger, I was always forced to train everyday ever since my parents saw my talent in swimming. When I was younger, I didn't understand that training everyday and having basically no real fun was not normal. I was raised to be a fine young man that never disrespect his parents. Even trough when I got older, I realized that my life wasn't normal thanks to people from school, I never said anything since I liked swimming. Yeah, when I was younger I had lots of friends because they only wanted to be popular like me. To be honest, I never grew to trust anybody out of all my so called friends. Everyone thought I had it easy. Since my parents are kinda rich... they always did parties for me and my siblings. It made me always the talk of the town. My parents are religious and they only want success out of their children. Don't get me wrong, my parents do like me and my siblings. It's just sometimes I wish I wasn't raised like this. When I mean they want success out of their children, well my brother Ashton is a well known bussiness man despite being only 23, my younger brother Logan is a model and actor both at the same time. Trough he likes to tell me he's more known than me even trough we both know it's not true. Now it leaves to her... him, Thalia my younger and only sister....  Thalia is different than me and my brothers. Since he was young he always knew he wanted to pursue a carrer in music. Music is definitely something to not be ashamed of but our parents always wanted him to pursue a career in modeling. He always refused when it came to that subject. I was never really close with Thalia to begin with so I simply focused on my swimming and not spending time with him. He never reallly minded, in fact he always wanted to alone but my parents never let that happened.  The issue was never bad with Thalia and my family but two years ago I went picking him up from school because my parents asked me to and I was greeted with Thalia wearing boy clothes and kissing a girl. I was shocked to say the least. I was always homophobic since I was a child because I was always taught to not accept gays.  What shocked me the most is that I saw him wearing masculin clothes. I had to recolled myself so as Thalia don't reliaze I saw him kissing a girl. He came back about 5 minutes later wearing his normal feminin clothes. I was relieved to see his wearing his normal clothes but the image of what I saw earlier didn't get out of my mind. When he got inside the car I did the unthinkable and I started lecturing him about gay being a sin and so on. He seemed nervous upon hearing my words. Until I told him I saw him kissing someone that's the same gender as him and wearing what I used to consider boy clothes. He started yelling at me that what I was saying was wrong and we started arguing for a good old 15 minutes until I decided I had enough of hearing nonesense. I drove him back to his house and never really talked to him again unless I really had to. Since that day I have grew to accept LGBTQIA2+ people because after learning Thalia being apperently trans and pansexual, I realized that what I said and think was wrong. One night I was watching a series that liked and that's when they started using the term gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transgender and so forth. I realized I had to learn more about that. It was during the time I tried learning more about that, that I met people at a meet a greet that used those terms. As to not seem homophobic I tried acting accepting of their identity but failed miserably. I was than told that what the bible is saying is not true and that everyone is allowed to be who they want to be. It took me a long time to get accustom to it but now I think I get the hang of it. I slowly came into terms that Thalia is a fact a trans boy and pansexual. I still struggle to this day to call him my little brother. I'm the only one who knows. Thalia has kept that fact a secret ever since then. I still call him Thalia since he never told me what is his new name? Yeah I think I got that right. Seapking of him, he's trying to call me. I don't respond because even trough I accept him our relantionship is still strained and I still haven't apologized to him. Maybe one day I will apologize but for now it will remain this way. My parents have been calling me since yesterday but I have yet to answer their calls. I apologized to Nevaeh earlier this morning for being rude yesterday. She said that she understands but I'm not sure about that. I haven't said it yet but the swimming olympians will leave the olympic village tomorrow. I'm currently watching the news talking about me and my dissapointing performance yersterday. I talked to the media this morning about my dissapointing perfomance yersterday. I still rufused to talk about anything to personal. I have been thinking since this morning that I want to spend the last day here with Enrique since we will be separated beginning tommorow. Honestly, I don't know what the future holds for me but all I now is that I keep thinking about the Spanish man when I should be thinking about what happened to me yersterday. I think the fact that I seem to dodge the fact of what happened to me is geeting scary to think about but it won't stop me from thinking about you Enrique Martinez...