Annemarie thought that Jack was a moron. At first, he hadn't been too bad, then they began fighting. Jack remained malicious. He was a tall cheeky boy and had been playing the new class’s leader. He wasn't special or had done something to hold the class together. Everybody had known him because he demanded a lot of attention from everybody. Annemarie had thought that he must be very good at socialising but found that he was selfish beyond any excuse. Jack had taken offence to that evaluation.
Annemarie wasn’t sure what Jack thought of her now, but she knew what her view of things was. “Stop it,” Annemarie cried out. It came out more panicked than indented. She grumbled about it inside. Jack was already a head taller than her. She didn't also want to seem weak. No matter how much of an annoyance Jack was, Annemarie wanted to be serious. She wanted to seem proper. That was the goal she had been working towards for so long. “Stop it,” Annemarie said again. She saw in Jack’s eyes that he wasn’t convinced.
“Hmmm, I hear you, but what are you saying,” Jack mused. He ignored Annemarie’s demands and continued making snowballs in the white street.
“Now come on let's play,” he demanded. Jack was more civil than usual. He had been the type to push someone down the stairs for fun. Maybe something happened, but Annemarie couldn’t put her finger on it. She braced herself for more attacks, while Jack continued his tirade.
“There is lots of fun to have. It is long to the next day,” Jack continued. He had stopped throwing snowballs. Annemarie thought he looked pleased about something. She knew that meant something bad most of the time. Annemarie frowned and began making her own snowballs. There was plenty of snow on the streets.
“Don’t cry, girl, laugh!” Jack finally commanded. His voice was filled with pain, but Annemarie wouldn’t comment on that. She wouldn’t want to delve deeper into the nonsensical display of Jack.
“Stop it, I’m serious Jack! It’s not funny anymore, it never was,” Annemarie said while she shook some snow off her coat. She would have to find an excuse to run away and return home. Annemarie knew she could always turn around and go home, but she didn’t want to leave tonight's events to stay at that.
Jack smiled at her and continued, “oh, I’m not ‘boy’ anymore I’m pleased. But tell me, girl, or what?” Annemarie was astonished at Jack’s ability to make this situation even stranger. She couldn’t remember any time when she had called Jack ‘boy’. She could remember which times Jack called her ‘girl’. She had enough.
“Or that!” Annemarie shouted as she threw snow at Jack’s face. She nearly hit him, but he dogged backwards falling onto his butt. Jack laughed out loud. A weight seemed to have been lifted off his shoulders.
“I knew you had it in you. You can fight, you can!” Jack prattled on. “I’m sure you have been as bored as I. Your parents are horrible too, aren’t they?” he stated more than asking.
“Shut up!” Annemarie answered promptly. She knew that Jack couldn’t move around as well sitting on the street. She promised herself to make good use of that.
“Make me,” Jack challenged her. Annemarie was sure to make use of his position and threw more snowballs. “But really, they are just as ridiculously negligent as mine.”
“Why are you insisting on that?” Annemarie yelled back. Jack was tearing open wounds Annemarie had long buried away. Her parents had a lot of work, and she didn’t see how that would be their fault. The state of the central brick marketplace had always been on a knife-edge. Annemarie was assured of their goodwill.
“Oh, did this cut?” Jack pressed the question after he stood up.
“No, it didn’t,” Annemarie answered with uncertainty. Cold snow found its way into her clothes as Jack tosses snowball her way again. Annemarie shook and ran back up to Jack who kept backing up. Before Annemarie knew it, she stood on the low part of the snow ramp. She had gone along with Jack's nonsense. Annemarie didn’t want to admit it, she was engrossed in this impromptu snow fight. Just doing something without reason was something Annemarie hadn’t done in a long time.
“You’re having fun, aren’t you?" Jack laughed from a spot higher on the ramp. He kicked snow downwards and flailed his arms around.
“Oh, just shut it," Annemarie shouted and lunged at Jack. His insistence on their supposed kinship was getting ridiculous. Annemarie thought that she didn't want to think about what problems Jack had. She didn’t want to start thinking about it.
Jack evaded further back. He hid behind throwing snowballs and kicking up waves of white. On command, he had stayed silent but grinned as if he was playing some joke on her. Annemarie followed suit and ran back up to him. She didn't want to turn her back to Jack. She was sure he would have jumped her instantly if she did. Neither of them were looking where they were going. They have found entry to the bleak maze of the grey city.
A cold wind blew into Annemarie’s face as she yelled "Jack, you crow-handed idiot. What are you on about?” Jack only stuck out his tongue at that and ran further back and over the peak. “Seriously you hornswoggler, where are you going," Annemarie shouted again, but Jack only ran further away. “I’m not going to play any of your stupid games,” she added. Annemarie was grasping at straws by now. She didn’t admit it to herself, but she was playing his games, and she wanted to punch him for it.
Then as they crossed the abandoned road one after another Jack finally spoke, “just wait till sunrise and look. I’m just having my fun and aren’t you too? Just stop pretending. I know I’m right.”
“Shut up! Just, just eat your boots,” Annemarie yelled back desperately. That took the last bit of steam out of her. She stopped and looked around. She knew chasing Jack had been ridiculous and she should be back home. There was barely any light. She blindly followed Jack’s footsteps up here. Bleak towers of concrete loomed over them. A chilly wind blew above her head and darkness enveloped them. Exhaustion weighed down Annemarie’s limbs and thoughts.
Annemarie panted through her sore throat. It slowly dawned on her where they were. She did not like it.
They stood atop a mountain of snow, somewhere, nowhere in darkness, alone. Light reflected to here from far away and a cold monotone grasp lumbered over the dead buildings. Annemarie backed off from Jack and recovered her tired mind. “We shouldn’t be here,” she murmured, “we need to return.”
“You have run out of steam?" Jack barked back, and commented, “I thought idiots don’t get cold."
Annemarie frowned and closed in on Jack again. “Right back to you! That wasn’t even the correct saying. Listen, moron, I mean it, seriously,” Annemarie said. She meant it, they had to turn back, but Annemarie also wanted to get back at Jack. “But not before I do this!” Annemarie shouted and slung a handful of snow into Jack's face. It was overdue revenge.
“You fib!" Jack cursed and latched onto her arm. He was going to hit her over the head for that and pulled her towards himself.
“Get your hands off me!” Annemarie cried as she pushed and pulled. Trying to get away from Jack. Her momentary bravery had faded, and she was disgusted by Jacks touch. She could not stand his annoying speeches and could not bear his awful games. She hated herself for playing along this night. To Annemarie Jack was an arrogant and boneheaded idiot. She had thought herself better. They struggled on a grey, black blanked of barely illuminated snow and for the second time that night, she barely knew what was happening around them. Her efforts would be in vain.
Jack was the first to react, as the snow they stood on began to slide. Annemarie was still struggling to get away from him. In desperation, Jack released Annemarie and pulled himself past her. He twisted around and rolled out of the forming avalanche.
The sound of sliding sheets of snow became a deep rumbling as the mountainside disappeared downhill. The torrent of white rushed into the darkness of the night as the valley between the soulless grey behemoths left and right reverberated.
Jack had finally done it. His heart pounded as he sat on the snow for many heartbeats. It had been a pointless fantasy at some point. Then it became a repeating one as his annoyance at Annemarie only grew. Now he had done something bad, but he would not go down and search for her.
He didn’t know what to think of it. “Now I have done it," Jack repeated aloud. He had not wanted it to happen. Jack for all his bad behaviour thought of himself as a decent person. He thought himself to have standards. His arms ached from violent movements from before, but his mind was somewhere else.
He stared up the clouded night sky as he recomposed himself. Annemarie had put his standards in a bad light, but what he did hadn’t been good either. “No, it was an accident,” he told himself. He knew that just because he had vivid dreams, he wouldn’t truly act on such impulses.
Jack recalled having to entertain himself for days and nights before he thought of going sneaking outside. Since then he had had fun visiting classmates and walking around the centre marketplace alone. His parents didn't know or didn't care, and he didn't care which it was.
“What is, that is," he thought out aloud. He decided that everything that had happened till now was a coincidence.
Jack stood up properly and oriented himself. “The way home had to be somewhere in that direction,” he mused. He walked past his and Annemarie’s footprints. It would take some time to return home, but he knew he wasn’t going to be missed.
Nobody else had seen this. Nobody else had heard this. And nobody for sure would speak of this. Let bygones be bygones, Jack mused. He wanted it all to be buried away deep below the valley of snow. He knew the bleak buildings would protect his secrets. And he told himself that Annemarie’s parents wouldn’t notice either. He insisted to himself that neither his nor her parents would be home early.
Jack calmed bit by bit. He composed himself a little more and he found that he was in great luck. The way back would have been hard, but it was twilight, proper twilight, and grey clouds rolled past the sky revealing fading starlight. He would take time to enjoy the open heavens.
He couldn’t hurry either way. The many buildings looked the same to him, and he had to interrogate his memories many times for directions. He knew that the way would not take too long. He knew the general direction.
Jack knew he would be back soon. He knew nobody would be there to notice him returning and no one would find this place ever again.
Jack
repeated this calming mantra, as he returned. What had happened tonight
was not what he wanted, but he was assured that he was always the best
he could be. But he wouldn’t complain now. Annemarie was gone. He knew
how convenient everything had just fallen in place for himself, but he
didn’t want to question his actions. Everything had resolved naturally,
and he could claim innocence under the scrutiny of his conscience. He
could sneak back home and return to the normal way of things.
Comments (0)
See all