On the way back to my mother's house, my mood was a mixture of sadness and joy, partly because I still had feelings for my ex-husband, and partly because my long-standing expectation of meeting relatives had become a reality. Sitting on the palanquin, I imagined the happy scene when I met my parents and younger brother with so many longing feelings.

 After three years, I finally got to see the mother that I longed for day and night.

 At the thought of being soon returned to the arms of my family, I couldn't help but feel the emotions welling up in my heart.

 The palanquin stopped in front of the Luu family's house, I lifted the curtain in front of me to look, but I didn't see my parents coming to meet me. The housekeeper ran into the house to report, after a while ran back out again, signaling the palanquin carriers to enter through the back door.

 An not auspicious sign was foretold.

 All the furniture in my old room did not seem to have been changed, they were just covered with a thick layer of dust, it seems that no one has come and cleaned it for a long time.

 I saw my paper kite when I was a child, I saw my guitar, I saw the eucalyptus bed carved in the shape of a flower that has followed me for fifteen years. Recalling that night three years ago, the day I was about to be married to the Ngo family, my mother hugged me on that bed. Everything seems to have happened just yesterday.

 Mom! My eyes were filled with tears. Will the pain of missing her daughter make the mother's hair much grayer?

I hurriedly ran out, to find my mother for safety.

 But the housekeeper stopped me on the doorstep, said that father and mother were having an important matter, and could not see me for the time being.

 "Young lady, you should stay in your room and rest." The butler said calmly. The voice of the young lady he called was so embarrassing, I heard it but also played with my ears.

 In my heart I seemed to understand, from the young lady of the Luu family to the missing lady of the Ngo family, to the young lady again, what that meant.

I remembered what my mother told me three years ago, she said she hoped I never came back.

 Like someone who just woke up, now, I fully understand the meaning of that statement.

 A daughter who gets married is like a bowl of water that has been spilled, how can it be collected?

 It's been four days since I got home, and I still haven't seen any relatives.

 From initial expectations, to disappointment, to despair, now to serenity. I gradually understood that, after being abandoned from the Ngo family, the Luu family no longer had a place for me. Not being able to see loved ones, for me, can also be a relief.

I was used to being alone in an empty room, used to wandering alone watching the sun and enjoying the moon. During those lonely times, I often talk to myself. The peach garden below my attic is still there, it's the middle of winter, not yet the time for the cherry blossoms to bloom.

 I still love to go for a walk in the peach garden early in the morning so that the winter dew drops wet my flower-embroidered canvas shoes. Sometimes, I also relax my soul, recalling the memory of the first love that used to take place here. I still remember the feelings of those youthful days, the first time I had the excitement, the thrill, the first time I had contact with the opposite sex, the touch that makes people always feel both happy and embarrassed. Now, it has been four springs and autumns of reincarnation, so many peach petals have fallen, my one-sided love has also fallen along with those petals.

 Only the thin, lonely peach tree trunks stood in the middle of a large space.

 “Do you still have the face to return?!” An angry voice called out from behind. I turned my head in surprise.

 Is… is my younger brother.

 When I left the house, he was only twelve years old, still a boy who still didn't understand everything. Remember, when I was a child, the affection between the two sisters was very deep, I liked to see her innocent face every time she raised her head to call her sister. Four years have passed, from a teenager, a younger brother has become a handsome young man.

"Younger brother!" I was both surprised and delighted. The joy of seeing my loved ones again after many days back home prompted me to tell about the events in my life. I moved towards my brother, smiling brightly. The response was a scornful face.

 “vile woman!” said brother.

 Those two short but cold words crushed my enthusiasm, I didn't even have time to capture the smile that was on my lips. 

“I…” I was much surprised, feeling extremely confused, and feeling like my brother had not recognized me “I am your sister!”.

 “vile woman! Do you still have the face to return? I don't have a sister like you! The honor of the Luu family has been defiled by you! You are a great disgrace to our Luu family!"  The younger brother raised his voice to scold, his eyebrows furrowed, his face revealed a disdain.

 “…”

 I stood frozen in place, with no more words to say.

 “What are you still doing here? If it were you, I would have committed suicide by jumping into the river a long time ago!" Finally, the younger brother was so excited that he screamed.

 I suddenly felt very calm again, after four years of pain and torment, I was able to calmly face any scolding or contemptuous glances.

 I quietly looked at my brother.

 My brother has really grown up. He was much taller than before, his voice was more resonant, and he looked like a grown man. The sweet, innocent memories of four years ago were gone, I couldn't hold my brother's hand, fly kites together in the yard or catch dragonflies together.

 The younger brother has changed, the former relatives are now strangers, the old smile has disappeared.

I suddenly want to laugh again, I can't control the corners of my lips that are gradually curling up anymore.

 “You say go? What do you say? Now, are you really woman Ngo or Luu? We have an abandoned wife in our house? My sister! Are you laughing? Can you still laugh? Shameless indeed! You still laugh… Huh!”  Younger brother learns from adult speech, shaking his head in despair “Unfortunate family!”

 Finally, the younger brother waved his sleeve and left.

 Unhappy family… this sentence must have been learned by the younger brother from his father's place. I can picture my father's anguished expression as he stood in front of the ancestral altar uttering those four words.

 Unfortunate family. I remember, my father-in-law also gave those words to me.

 In the end, my unhappiness affected my family, or the family's unhappiness was poured out on me.

 After all, what did I do, wherever I went, that house became unhappy. I agonized over, I really couldn't find the answer I didn't do anything really.

 I have begun to understand life better.