Sitting at my desk, I groaned again for the twentieth time in the four hours I had been here. The events of a week ago weighed heavily on my mind. Not my anger or my words, but that stupid kiss and how he reacted after it. His anger was both terrible and hot to me, I hated he had got so pissed off with me. It wasn’t my fault he had kissed me; I had only kissed him back.

Maybe that had been the issue, that I had kissed him back. But why would he kiss me, if he didn’t at least think I was going to kiss him back?

I wanted to rip out my hair in frustration. I needed a coffee in the worst way, but I didn’t want to run into Andrei well I was there. Looking through the murder photos made me think about what Andrei had said about his father and the conversation he had that night. He had held me and comforted me. He had known what I needed, and he had been there to give it to me.

Sighing, I got up from my desk and left my office. I was allowed to wander around the offices as long as I didn’t get in the way, and everyone pretty much avoided me when I was wandering so that was good.

It had been a really slow week, and I was running out of actual work to do. I headed back to my office and closed the door. The photos I was processing were for our only murder case and it was a pretty old body so there weren’t that many evidence photos.

Laying on the ground, I looked up at the ceiling well I thought about the case we were working on, but a little about the kiss too. Stretching my hands up at the ceiling I realised something important about the case. I jumped up off the floor at the same time the door to my office opened. The chief stood there, his arms crossed.

“I just had a massive breakthrough!” I said excitedly.

“Better be good Lukas, Because the mafia has made it very clear they would like you to not be in the office for any more of the business meetings.”

“Oh.”

That was not that shocking after what played out with Andrei. But what the hell was I going to tell the Chief about it, he wouldn’t understand it. Not without the complete story and I couldn’t do that, it wasn’t his business.

“Yeah. So what’s this big breakthrough?”

“I figured out why the body was in the position, the way it was.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, the body was in a box, maybe a coffin or something smaller. They had probably scratched at the lid until they ran out of air, hence the position they were in.”

“I’ll double-check that with the lab.”

“I could do that.”

“Stay here, do your job and only yours Lukas.”

“Right.”

I sat back in my chair. I had started at noon today and if I was going to be removed before the mafia showed up that would give me maybe another two hours at work max before they started to show up. This was all just so stupid to me, but it was my fault. I should have thought about this before I fought with Andrei about stupid shit.

At five o’clock, I grabbed my coat and made sure everything was off before I locked up my office. The Chief was just coming out of his office; he looked annoyed, but he waved to me as I left. The first place I headed as soon as I left the office was for a coffee. I danced to the music in my truck as I waited for my drink.

I paid for my drink and then took it. The first sip was definitely the best, and I needed it. I drove home, parking in the driveway. Heading inside, I sat on the couch sipping my coffee. It was a little after five and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I had never been kicked out of work before.

Calling a few of my friends on my phone turned out to be both exciting and boring. I found out a few of my friends had moved up in the world. My two best friends had got married and were now expecting their first baby. I was super excited for them.

We made plans for next weekend and they were going to reach out to everyone and see if they wanted to do a dinner and movie deal and I was super down for that. It had been way too long since I had hung out with any of my friends from college and after that. I was happy to know that everyone had been ok though. That made me thrilled.

The closet of all my friends gave me her condolences on my mom and said she had found out about mom well she was out of the country on holiday and wasn’t sure how to approach the conversation when she got back a few days later. I understood that.

Sitting on the couch, staring at the Tv I got a text from Alessio, I wasn’t sure when he had put his number in my phone but it was there. All it said was that he wanted to know if he could hang out here because he wanted to get away for a little bit. I wanted to tell him, no, but I didn’t.

A little while later a car pulled into the driveway and I expected Alessio, but that was not the case. When opened the door Andrei stood there, He looked just as confused as I was.

“Hi?” I said mildly shocked.

“You are ok? No house intruder?” He said looking at me his hand on the gun on his hip.

“No. I never said anything about a house intruder—-I mean Alessio was supposed—— Oh! Now I get it.”

“I think I’ve been lied to.”

“You and me both.”

Alessio had sent his father here. But why the hell had he done that? His father was supposed to be at the meeting tonight. Things were awkward between us now.

“Did you want to come in? I can make you a coffee, or something else if I have it.”

“If you want me to come in, we didn’t leave our last meeting on good terms.”

“Yeah. No, we didn’t.”

I stepped aside so he could come in; it felt super weird to have him here again. He was acting as of we hadn’t fought about things a week ago. He slipped his shoes off and followed me to the kitchen.

“I’m surprised you are not at work still.”

“They asked me to leave before the Mafia meetings, Chief said they made it clear I wasn’t to be there for meetings anymore. I’m not allowed in the building. So I had to leave.”

“Right. I can look into that for you?”

“No worries. Means I will just have to hang out with my friends again, I'll live without working until I drop.”

“Lukas, I'm sorry about my behaviour last week.”

“I also am sorry, you have a super wicked grip when your angry, I had your whole handprint on my arm. It’s pretty much fading now, but it was pretty neat.”

“Shit, I’m sorry Lukas.”

“Hey, it’s fine. I was just as much to blame for it all. You told me to get the car I didn't, I was too busy trying to figure out if I wanted to fight you or fuck you. So.” I said, setting his cup of coffee on the table.

He looked at the cup of coffee on the table. He pulled the chair out before sitting down.

“Want anything to put in that?” I asked.

“Nah, I’ll drink it black.”

“You are a strange man.”

I went to the living room to fetch my drink. I drank the rest on my way back to the kitchen. Andrei shook his head when he saw my cup and spoke.

“I’m the strange one? You drink a dangerous amount of caffeine just to function.”

“Years of practice. I have a caffeine tolerance.” I said chuckling.

“You would need to, to even think about tasting it.”

He gave a genuine smile, and I swore it went right to my heart.

“So about you being here, are you going to tell me what Alessio told you? I got home intruder, and that was about it.”

“Oh, he said you had called him looking for me because you had a home intruder and thought I wouldn't answer my phone for you. I was to hurry over and make sure you were safe.”

“Of course. Sounds about right.”

“I should have known. But I was actually worried about you having an intruder.”

“I appreciate you came to check.”

"I wouldn't have felt good finding out you were in actual trouble."

“I’m sure I would have been fine.”

“We should talk about what happened last week.”

“Is that a good idea Andrei? We argued the last time.”

“I only took Caleb out on a date so that I could threaten him. I had to tell him it was a date so he would go with me. What you did with the bottle of wine was uncalled for, and shooting me the finger. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking—- I wasn’t actually, I was mad that you had unvalued yourself so much that you would go back to that. And you would hurt your own child that way.”

“There was nothing going on with Caleb and me other than lunch. I threatened him not to hurt my son. Alessio and you got this whole other story twisted up.”

“In my defence, you were ignoring me. Then seeing you with him, I connected the dots. Alessio was very much in the same boat, Caleb was ignoring him and you two have a history. You can't blame him.”

“What’s your reason? Why were you so invested?”

“I don’t like being ignored, and I didn’t want to see you get hurt. That’s my reasoning.”

“Why do you care so much when you don’t know me, Lukas? I’ve never given you any good reason to care for me.”

“If I had the answer to that, I would tell you, trust me. But that is still unknown to me. It’s probably because despite that you broke my camera the first time we met, you have been nothing but respectful and kind with me, most of the time. I enjoy spending time with you. I didn’t want to lose that to him.”

“Lukas, I don’t want you to get attached to me.”

“I didn’t——”

“Hear me out. Please.”

“Fine.”

“I don’t want you to get attached to me, you deserve something better than me. One day I might not come home in anything else than a pine box if there are enough pieces, or might go to jail again. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

"Andrei you kissed me," I said my hands clenching.

“I know I did. I wanted to know what I was going to miss out on. I was selfish at that moment and I knew it. I didn’t want you to think——-I had to tell you to go, I couldn’t let us stay in that moment. I didn’t want to let you go. When you kissed me back Lukas, I knew I had to tell you to go before you got hurt because of me.”

“Do I not get a choice in this?”

“No. I know what you would pick and I can’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you.”

“You know what, I’ve wanted nothing more than to touch you intimate ways, and you being angry that way last week really did nothing to put that fire out, if anything it made it worse. If you are going to take my choices away, then just give me the one thing I want.”

“Lukas, We can’t sleep together. It will make it harder.”