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Some nights, I dream of escaping to another world. It’s not a new thought, of course, yet it’s one that intrigues me like no other. I wonder if I’ll someday come across a rabbit hole in the ground, or if I’ll be fortunate enough for a tornado to whisk me away to a land of magic and imagination.

Only three months remain before I have to leave my memories behind again. My mother—agent for the photographer-turned-actress Lee Jiyeon—will be relocating us to our old hometown soon. Our family has moved more times than I can remember, but our time in Korea has been the most stable.

We originally lived in Bucharest with the rest of our relatives. The initial move from Romania to Korea was a painless one, seeing as how I was barely older than five during the initial move. It was there that I became friends with an odd girl my age.

Lee Jiyeon’s younger daughter and I would run around and play together on the weekends our mothers had their meetings. Her older sister would occasionally sing for us while we played or danced around.

I noticed the various bruises and marks she had on her body. I pointed them out one day, but she told me to keep the marks a secret from her mother.

“Mommy is really busy! I see her the most on weekends, but I don’t want Mommy to look sad when she’s with me.”

I shushed myself. “It’s a secret!” I admired this girl who cared for her mother in this way, and I found our weekends together to be very enjoyable.

Unfortunately, fame can be quite the monster. I haven’t seen Sarang since the day my family and I relocated to another town.

I hope that all is well with her.

Yuri

“Pick up some milk for the house while you’re out, will you?”

“No problem, Grandpa!” I glanced at Sarang’s home before walking towards the nearest convenience store.

It’s late in the evening, and the sun’s starting to set. To get to the store, I have to walk past a park. There’s a small playground with slides and swings that I used to go to all the time with Grandma.

“C’mon Yuri, don’t be scared of the slide!”

“But Grandma, what if I get hurt?”

I laughed at the memory out loud, looking over as I started walking past the playground. Some of the equipment had been replaced, but it was the same place I’d grown to love.

Sitting on the swings was a single girl, and I hated that I could recognize her silhouette from anywhere. The white butterfly in her hair was a dead giveaway.

Grandpa’s not in a rush to have that milk anyway! Wanting to surprise her, I tried sneaking around the playground equipment. As I got closer, I saw that she wasn’t smiling.

I wasn’t sure if it’d work, but I had an idea that might cheer her up.

I quietly sat on the swing beside her. Something must’ve been weighing hard on her mind with how she didn’t notice me. I waited for her to look in my direction, watching her face cycle through different expressions until a few minutes passed by.

Sarang

“Oi. You there?” I jumped in surprise at the sound of Yuri’s voice. Like a ghost, he’d appeared next to me. I swear the swing next to me had been empty!

“Y-Yuri!” He looked at me with his usual stoic face. I thought I was used to how handsome he was, but being alone with him like this made his features stand out even more to me. I felt myself blushing at the thought.

Yuri reached his hand out to touch my forehead. “Your face looks a little red. Are you sick or something?”

I wanted to say yes, but I also liked the feeling of his hand. “It’s been a long day.” I slyly took his hand from my forehead and started tracing the creases on his hand.

“Was it Pink—Nari again?” His cheeks were flushed, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of me, or because he thought of Nari.

Stop it! Jealousy is an ugly color!

I’ve been having negative thoughts about Yuri and Nari ever since Haru talked to me privately a while ago. We don’t talk a lot without Yuri around, but he came to me to apologize for his sister’s actions.

He bowed profusely in front of me. “I’m sorry for what Sis did to you! I know she should be the one apologizing, but as her younger brother it’s also my fault for not stopping her when I could’ve!” His face looked really remorseful, and I knew I’d feel bad if I left him standing like that.

“It’s okay, Haru. I forgive her.” I said that, knowing I’d never be able to forget what she did. “I’d feel guiltier if you felt bad for something you didn’t do.”

Haru stood up straight with a wide smile. “Then can I make things up to you today? We could go for some McFloopys!”

His boldness caught me off guard. “You’re pretty cheeky for an underclassman, you know that?”

“I’ve gotta be when it comes to talking to a pretty upperclassman like you, you know?” The unexpected compliment made me blush, but I stayed on my guard.

I smiled for him, knowing he’d want to see one. “T-thank you! I see why people talk about you so much!”

We talked about school and our hobbies on the way to the McRonnie’s. I was surprised that he didn’t mention Yuri at all during the walk. Something was different about Haru today, and it was making me feel nervous.

After grabbing our orders, I could practically see the air around Haru changing. I kept up my smile and asked, “So why’d you really bring me here?”

Haru laughed. “I knew you were smart!” His laugh faded, and the smile on his face fell away. “I didn’t wanna tell you at school, but there’s something else about my sister I thought you needed to know.”

I grit my teeth. “I thought you said she was sorry for what she did?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that Sarang. What I’m about to tell you doesn’t have anything to do with you.” His mouth twitched, and I could see him suppressing some emotion. “It’s about Sis…and Yuri.”

Ouch. That explains why they’ve been talking so much. I tried to act ignorant. “Huh? What’s that got to do with me?”

Taking a bite of his ice cream, Haru casually said, “You like Yuri, right? It’s pretty obvious.” I stood up. Before I could move, Haru added, “The last thing I wanna see is one of my friends getting hurt. I’m talking about you, Sarang.”

I took his bait. “Yuri’s his own person, and I think you’re misunderstanding something. We’re just…friends.” It hurt to say, but I’m used to being hurt. “If he’s dating Nari, then that’s his decision.”

“Dating? I didn’t say anything about dating. He just comes over sometimes and exercises with her alone in her room.” I looked in his eyes, praying that I’d find some kind of lie in them.

Haru’s telling the truth, isn’t he?

He finished his ice cream and stood up from the table. “That’s all I wanted you to know. Sis is sorry for what she did, but I also don’t want to see you accidentally getting involved with her again. After all, she’s very passionate when she’s in love with someone.”

Haru smiled at me, but I saw a flash of something else in that smile.

Something snake-like and evil.

“Anyways, I wish you luck in finding someone who really loves you! He might be closer than you think.” He winked at me and left the McRonnie’s.

I didn’t want to believe what he said about Nari, yet another part of me didn’t believe that a friend of Yuri’s would lie to me.

Oh god.

I have to ask Yuri about this myself.

“No, Nari didn’t do anything to me.” I said calmly. “My mom’s coming down to visit soon and I’m not sure how I should feel.”

“What do you mean by that?” Oh, that’s right. I never told Yuri the truth about Mom. I can trust him, right?

An invasive thought suddenly burst into my mind. Why was he friends with the girl that bullied me? I know he’s a good person and all, but it feels wrong to see him talking to her when she’s the one that hurt me.

What if he’s trying to play me too?

I don’t wanna lose another friend. It would be my fault. It would be my fault again!

No! I want to trust Yuri! I can’t push another friend away like this!

Not after what happened with Luca all those years ago.

Yuri

I felt Sarang’s hand start to shake in mine. Even though it’s not hot outside, I could see sweat droplets starting to form on her face. “My mom, s-she’s…” She started breathing faster and faster, her shaking getting worse. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but it sure as hell wasn’t good.

I held onto her hand tightly. “Sarang! Just breathe for me. In. Out. In. Out.” She tried nodding and copying me. “Good! Everything’s gonna be okay, alright?” Her hands were still shaking, so I used my free hand to hold her other hand. “Just keep breathing for me.”

I had no idea what I was doing. The only thing I knew was that I needed to stay calm for her. If I started panicking with her, then we’d both be screwed.

I tried thinking of something to say. “When I was little, my grandpa wouldn’t let me eat honey butter chips. He thought they were too sweet.” Her grip tightened. The shaking from before had calmed down slightly. “Grandma loved sweet things, so whenever Grandpa would go to the gym, she’d secretly let me have some of the chips she hid.”

“Y-yeah?” The pain was still visible in her eyes, but hearing a response gave me hope that whatever’s happening would be over soon.

I told her more stories about Grandma and my childhood over the next ten minutes.

“Thank you, Yuri.” I expected her to pull her hands away from mine. Instead, they stayed interlaced in our laps. “This doesn’t happen often. I just started feeling anxious.” I waited for her to continue. “I’m not an optimist the way my sister is. I feel like the sun itself would shine brighter if she could speak to it.”

The sun had almost finished setting, and the sky had turned a blueish purple. Sarang looked up at the now-visible half-moon above us. “She’s amazing, and so is our mom. Chunhwa’s a botanical genius. I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up in a textbook one day. She’s pretty, smart, and she’s great at talking to people.” She turned to look at me. “Have you ever heard of Lee Jiyeon?”

The name sounded familiar. I think my cousin Minji used to talk about her being in dramas or something. “Barely. I don’t keep up with celebrities too much.”

A small laugh left Sarang. “That’s so like you, Yuri. That celebrity you barely know is my mom. She’s a photographer at heart. Luckily, being pretty along with an eye surgery or two can take you places.”

I chuckled. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

“Huh?” She looked confused because of what I said.

“You may think your sister and mom are so amazing or whatever, but you’re not giving yourself enough credit.” I hated seeing her look sad because of something like her insecurities. I let go of her right hand and leaned forward, getting closer to her face. “Looking at you right now, you don’t need to be a celebrity like your mom or some girl that can talk to the plants and the sun.” I pointed at the moon. “The moon may be shining, but you’re the brightest thing my eyes see right now.”

Cheering someone up is the only time I’ll let myself be corny like this.

“You’re a good friend for saying that.” Sarang’s smile was weak while saying that. “I bet you say that to all the girls that need cheering up.” Her eyes were wet with tears, but none fell. “Even Pinkie, right?”

I raised my eyebrow, not understanding what she meant. Is she trying to imply something?

She broke eye contact with me. “Someone told me that you’re really close to her. I’m trying to forgive her for what she did, but it’s really hard when I think about how…close you two have been.”

I wasn’t sure who spoke to her. Whatever they said, it was enough to shake her like this.

Someone’s trying to sabotage our friendship.

“Sarang, it’s not what you think.” She looked up at me as if to say Then what do you think? “Pinkie’s just a friend. I’ve been keeping an eye on her since the day Sora went to your house to check up on you.”

“Wait, how do you know about that?”

I smirked. “I had a talk with him right before he went. I still don’t like the guy, but we agreed that you needed some help that day.”

“…mmy.” She spoke so softly that I could barely hear her.

“Say that aga—”

“You’re a dummy!” Sarang cried while laughing. “The whole time I was at my house, I wanted to see you, you dummy!” She started laughing even harder, and I could feel her relief. “Sorry I’m such a mess tonight, but it’s true. I kept wondering where you were and thought you didn’t care about me. Then after hearing that you visit Nari a lot, I started overthinking things and—”

I hugged her. I didn’t ask her if she wanted it, but I felt like I had to in the moment. I still wasn’t sure if this was the sign I was looking for, and I honestly didn’t care either. I had my own paranoid thoughts about her and Sora. If those thoughts had persisted, I probably would’ve ended up distancing myself from her.

The last thing I want is to lose her, only to see her again years later after it’s too late.

“You’re right. I am a dummy.” I’m a dummy for not doing this earlier. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but there’s one thing I need to be sure of before I say something like that.

I broke the hug, poking her nose with one of my hands. “Boop. Isn’t that what you said?” I remembered that day, and I remembered the kiss that happened too. I brushed some of the hair away from her eyes, thinking about how dumb I was letting Sora comfort her instead of going to her house myself.

Sometimes, I still dream about that day on the rooftop. I hadn’t mentioned the kiss since then since it was our secret, but I would always wonder,

Was that really an accident?

I brushed her bottom lip with my thumb. It was just as soft as the ones my memories. The thought of someone else kissing them made my heart hurt.

“That day on the roof, were you trying to kiss me on purpose?” I needed to know the truth. I’m the worst at reading someone’s feelings, but if she told me that our first kiss was intentional, then I’d let myself give into my feelings.

Sarang smiled. “I’ll answer your question if you answer a little question for me too.” I nodded and waited for her to continue. “It’s something I’ve been curious about for a while now. I realized it after she started talking about you more. I tried asking her, but she’s been avoiding the question. That’s why I’m asking you instead!”

She? Who’s she talking about?

Sarang squinted her eyes at me, smirking at how lost I looked. She got up from her swing and sat beside me on mine. We were shoulder to shoulder, and she cupped her hands around my ear.

She whispered, asking “How do you and my sister know each other?”