Nicolai wanted to talk.

Aston’s nerves had gotten the best of him as they walked away from the warmth of the campfires, entering the soft silence of the night. The moon shone down on them illuminating their way to the grassy patch that his mate had pointed out. Aston looked back at the others retreating forms, wondering if they had been surprised by Nicolai’s statement like he had. His sisters had seemed content leaving them to their own devices, maybe silently hoping that them being alone would solidify any issues that they had, or that was what Aston had assumed. 

A million reasons for this situation ran through the tiger’s mind as they settled into the grass, their bodies becoming caressed by the coolness of the blades underneath them. It was strangely comfortable, Aston stared in wonder at the stars before him, a sight that he rarely got to look at due to his lack of time as of late. His relationship with Nicolai had progressed very slowly over the last few months, the level of their bonding coming down to simple touches and breathless kisses. He had felt unsure in himself, the lack of intimacy reminding him that he had held back on purpose, being with Nicolai had felt so right yet so wrong.

Nicolai was his mate and their bond had seemed to rock his very world, but the pair of chocolate eyes that haunted his dreams and reality had become too much for him. It had invaded their personal time, not allowing for his feelings to flourish with his mate like it should have in the last few months. The looks of love that those golden orbs had held in them many times had pained him, he felt so unworthy of those feelings that seemed to radiate from behind them, his own feelings feeling so conflicted. 

“It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful it is out here without the lights of the city” his mate's voice had snapped him out of his stupor.

He looked over towards the lion, seeing his eyes staring into the night sky with wonder, his hazel eyes looking down to see that their hands were surprisingly still joined, the feeling of his touch feeling so right to him. The guilt flooded him once more. His eyes followed Nicolai’s gaze, his vision opening up once more to the majestic sight of the night sky, a sense of calm starting to battle the guilt within him. The stars glittered like diamonds in the sea of the midnight sky, the cosmos flooding the heavens with an arrayment of colors that seemed to keep the two males in a state of awe. The waning moon shining brightly amongst the army of stars that seemed to protect it from all types of harm.

“It is quite amazing, isn’t it?” Aston replied, stealing his gaze from the spectacle before him to look once more at his mate. 

Nicolai had looked so breathtakingly handsome in the light of the moon, the masculinity of his features causing Aston to feel a tight warmth coil itself within his stomach. It reminded him of that butterfly feeling that he had heard from others when it came to talking about matters of the heart, Rhea saying that it felt comparable to an unshakeable sense of certainty. He could have looked at his mate like this forever.

“But not as amazing as you are, kitten” Nicolai’s golden eyes turned to stare deeply into his, the tiger’s heart fluttering at the reply.

Aston’s face burned a bright crimson, his heart thudding in his chest so loud that he had been so sure that Nicolai could have heard it from where he lay. 

“Oh gods, you’re so cheesy!” Aston whined, turning his head to look at the moon out of embarrassment, silently hoping that Nicolai wouldn’t catch the deepening of his blush. 

“Oh you know that you love that about me” Nicolai laughed, his eyes glowing in the moonlight. 

Aston froze before looking towards his mate with widened eyes, the weight of the four letter word lingering in the air heavily between them, the sight of the lion’s smile filling him once more with that fluttering sensation. He did not know how to react. The word being something that had yet to cross his mind over the past few months, his feelings had still been up in the air until the vocalization of that word, a word that made his guilt shoot through the roof. The tiger’s mouth suddenly became dry, knowing that a reply was still expected from him. He opened his mouth to speak, placing a small smile on his lips silently hoping that his words rang true.

“Of course!” He sputtered. 

His words had felt so empty.

A lie to protect both of them from his lack of conviction about his feelings, the sight of deep brown eyes flashing through his mind's eye haunting him once more. Nicolai released a silent breath that he had been holding, the action confusing Aston. A sense of cold dread seeped into his body, had Nicolai been awaiting that answer from him? Had his mate caught on to the actions that he thought had been so subtle? 

“You better” the lion teased, giving him a mischievous look.

Aston rolled his eyes with a smirk, consciously trying to play along with the facade that he had sadly created for himself. Why couldn’t he have just been honest with his mate? Why were the memories that haunted him and prohibited him from feeling feelings toward Nicolai feel like betrayal?

“So you’re probably wondering why we’re both out here in the grass?” Nicolai stated, looking back to stare deeply into the cosmos. 

“Well you did say that you wanted to talk, Nic” Aston replied, following his mate’s gaze into the night sky.

“Yeah I did”

“So spill, you can talk to me, you know that”

“Can I ask you something?” 

This caught Aston’s attention as he turned to look at his mate seeing that Nicolai was already looking at him, with an emotion behind his eyes that caused the dread in Aston seep in even deeper. 

Fear.

 “Anything, Nic” Aston answered, hoping that his words would give his mate some kind of reassurance. 

“Did I do something wrong?”

The words cut deep. It was as if a million needles were slowly digging into his skin, pushing deeply into it from the weight of Nicolai’s question. Aston felt numb.

“What are you talking about?” his words feeling empty once more as they escaped from his lips.

“Have I done something to upset you, kitten?”

“Nic, what do you mean?” Aston replied, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

“Did I do something to make you feel uncomfortable, Aston?” Nicolai asked once more, a troubled look planting itself along his brow, “For the past few months I have been thinking nonstop about how you have been silently rejecting my advances. At first I was worried that I had overstepped your personal boundaries, and if I have, then I’m sorry, but the more and more it happened I believed that it was me. Is it me? Because if it is me then you can tell me? Am I not worthy enough for us to consummate our bond?”

Aston was stunned by his mate's revelations, in the back of his mind knowing that his actions had not been so subtle, that his mate was now in front of him doubting himself. He had caused Nicolai to feel something that had never been Aston’s intentions from the beginning; rejection. It had been three months since their meeting, and they had not consummated their mate bond, so that they could proudly bare their respective marks on their necks to the world. The guilt was eating Aston alive. 

“No, that’s not it” he whispered, knowing that Nicolai could hear his words.

“Then what is it, Aston? Do you not find me attractive? Have the reservations that Ephraim and Lydia still have stuck with you? Because in all honesty their opinions don’t matter, yours does” Nicolai’s frustrations started to pour out, “Is it because we are not the same species? Has that somehow made me unworthy of acceptance and admiration?” 

“No, Nic, never” Aston said timidly, feeling so out of character. 

“Then what is it?!” Nicolai snapped before his voice became small, “Do I not turn you on? Do I disgust you?”

“Nicolai, stop!” Aston spoke aggressively, his mate staring at him in shock, “There is nothing wrong with you, you haven’t done anything wrong, and I am not upset with you. Also fuck Emphraim and Lydia, what they think holds no effect on how I feel about you. I am attracted to you and no, you don’t disgust me, I wouldn’t have kissed you as much as I have if I was. Stop thinking like that, because you are my mate, and yes I care deeply about you, so don’t sell yourself short. Please.” 

Nicolai looked at him in disbelief, Aston’s words visibly rocking him to the core as he looked deeply into the tiger’s eyes hoping that all he said wasn’t a lie. Aston maintained eye contact with his mate, mentally trying to give the lion reassurance that he needed to push those worries away. He had been the cause of his mates' doubts, the guilt silently eating away at him and his soul, his tiger letting out a mewl-like whine. His tiger had been loud in his anger towards Aston for the last few months, mentally beating the man for rejecting their mates advances. The tiger had wanted to be with its mate more than anything else in the world, and Aston had denied him that since their first kiss on their first night together. 

“So it's not any of those things?” Nicolai asked, giving his mate large sad eyes.

“None of them,” Aston replied, reassuring him.

“If not that then….” the lion looked away from him. 

“Then what?” 

“Is there someone else?” Nicolai looked back into Aston’s eyes, that fear from before suddenly making a reappearance. 

The question caused Aston’s world to stand still, the image of Nicolai’s face becoming replaced with the sight of warm chocolate eyes once again. The smell of an earthy pine mixed with the warm caress of cinnamon flooded his senses like a tidal wave, a rugged masculine face with just the right amount of facial hair filling his vision. The memory made him breathless once more, his heart shattering with the loss of those feelings that hid behind that warm gaze. The face gave him a soft grin that made him want to break down in tears, a look that he knew he would never see again. 

The image started to slowly melt away, the sight of Nicolai’s golden eyes bleeding through the picture of someone one he missed so dearly. His mate’s stare reminded Aston that he was still awaiting his answer, that hidden fear still so present and taunting the tiger. He knew there was only one thing to do. 

He closed his eyes before releasing a long sigh, his eyes opening to look into Nicolai’s awaiting gaze, “No, Nic, there is no one else.”

Aston had done his best to believe the words that he had spoken, seeing that his mate searched his hazel eyes for any kind of deception. He silently hoped that Nicolai had believed him. His mate stared at him for what seemed to be an eternity, knowing in the back of his mind that his words had not been what he had wanted to say, yet he knew it was what had to be done.  

“I believe you,” Nicolai said, huffing out a breath in relief. 

The hazel-eyed man felt a moment of relief, his heart feeling as if it could finally relax after the worry it was put through, but his brain knew that they were not out of the fire just yet. 

“Is there anything else you want to talk to me about?” Aston made eye contact with Nicolai once more. 

“Hmm let me think” Nicolai answered, getting lost within Aston’s addicting gaze, “Why does Ephraim go on and on about The Gathering? Are Ransom and Bianca that bad?” 

Aston looked at this mate with a small smile, surprised that Nicolai had not asked this question sooner. 

“No, they aren’t. They are pretty….special, but they are practically harmless, Ephraim just likes to over exaggerate. Those two have known me for a long time, so them finding out about us is going to be interesting to say the least. Other than those things you have nothing to worry about” 

Nicolai chuckled, “Are you sure?”

“You’re just going to have to find out for yourself when the time comes,” Aston teased, watching Nicolai laugh at his reply. 

“I’ll take your word for it” 

Aston smiled at his mate's lightheartedness, knowing that his mate seemed to believe his words, not aware of the subtle warning that hid within his words.