“So my question is, when will you stop scaring people around her?” Marik continues to harass me with his nonsense question.

I’m just sitting on the bench outside the coffee shop, looking at the ghost on the other side of the road who is having a hard time crossing it. He probably died from an accident I bet.

“So you mean I should be okay with those guys? Hell no!” I rather haunt them down for eternity than seeing them making fun of Rina.

I once again looked back at the coffee shop. And saw Rina like an inanimate object and how she doesn’t smile anymore.

She’s like a living doll.

“But seriously, do you plan on following her forever?” I suddenly stopped thinking after hearing Marik’s question.

Marik then continues what I think he’s about to say.

“I hope you didn’t forget about your Date Boundary.”

I shut my eyes. I know that. 

But instead of worrying about my date boundary, I suddenly remember the day I die. It’s been almost a year, and it was so sudden. I just remember that I don’t want to die. Memories flooded me that moment; the day when I was born, how I always cried on my mother, my friends, and our high school memories, the flowers I really loved. And the last thing I saw on drifting memory was the person I love.

Sudden death was the most heartbreaking because whatever you do you’ll never see that person again.

 I watched my family and friends cry for me. 

People I hardly recognized came too.

They talked about how I met them and what good deeds I’ve done for them. 

For some time, I almost became mad.

Because of the simple fact that I can’t accept that I was already dead.

It was a hard process.

Now, I can’t even tell if I accept it or not. Yeah, I know I’m stupid.

And the stupid me still clinging to her, Rina.

“Rina, you’re good to go, just leave it to us.” Rina’s manager said to her.

“Oh right, thank you.” and she walks toward the staff room.

Right after the staff room closes, the manager and one of the staff talk to each other.

“Any progress?” said one of Rina’s co-workers.

The manager shook his head.

The woman sighed, “It’s been a year since she became like that.” 

“Do you think she can recover?” the manager asked.

“Well, I don’t know. Some say it takes 6 months for most people to accept the death of their loved ones. But I know Rina’s situation is very different.”

I watched them walk away as they continued to talk about Rina.

“Well, except for Rina. She’s like a walking doll, she won’t even smile.” The manager continues to talk about it.

I sighed once again despite not having a breath, it’s not like I wanted to die in the first place.

This is my routine, I always walk Rina home every afternoon after her shift. 

I watched the sunset with her. And today the weather looks nice I think since I can’t feel anything.

And I always talk to her, hoping one day, she might hear me.

“You know Rina, you might not notice it, but you become skinny. Why won’t you eat properly? And sleep early?”

She always cries in her sleep, she spends too much time crying. 

I sighed once again, out of habit I guess. 

“I guess it’s my fault, that you have to suffer like this, I hope you can forgive-!”

I stop talking when she suddenly looks back. Does she notice my presence?

After a few seconds, she continued to walk and never look back again.

Sometimes I think you can see me, and you will suddenly run towards me, hug me and say I miss you.

But I know it’s impossible.

8 months ago I had the chance to ask if I could show myself to Rina.

“Why can’t I let her see me?!” I firmly asked.

“That’s a really complicated question. And I’ve answered that for a billion times already.” said the death god who stood in front of me.

“Zeiru, you can’t leave any lingering feelings for anyone here. You’ll just ruin the balance. Not only that but her future too. Do you think she’ll move on once she has the chance to see you? I know you know that answer to that.” 

I still can't accept it. 

“But still I-”

“Remember, you can't communicate with the living, or you might shorten your date boundary. Think better, child.” 

That makes me realize that all I can do for her is watching over her, until the day that I have to finally leave her.

That night, as I came back to our usual corner, Marik was already waiting for me.

“Let me guess, you walked her home, right?” He said like he’s accusing me of a crime.

“Yeah, I couldn't help it.’ 

“Well, since you have the energy to walk her home, I guess you’ll still have some time to spare,” Marik said as he sat on the bench.

“Yes please, I have all the time in the world. What is it?” I said, clearly pissed about everything.

“Prim wants to see you, as soon as possible,” he said apologetically. 

And guess what, I’m doomed.