It’s like my mind is melting, the contents sloshing over everything from all those other times with the here and now instead. I can’t seem to stop it, even while I come to terms with the fact that I really can’t do this. My body starts to stiffen when I feel his teeth on my collarbone, deliberately nibbling in that way they did when he succeeded in leaving marks on me last year. He’s calculated enough not to break skin, but the suction is firm, like it was when he formed that trail down my chest. The bruises were barely visible through the deep umber pigment that covers all of me, but I knew they were there. I knew where to look to find the marks. I watched them heal through the mirror that I got discounted at the store because it was slightly cracked in the corner. It took a full week for them to disappear, which was long enough for me to realize I would never be able to return any of it.  

Something near a scream builds up my throat until it’s catching on a lump and exploding out of me. “Micah!” 

Even though my voice has gone hoarse, he hears me this time. His breaths are hot on my face when he lifts away with his eyes so wide I can see my own panic looking right back at me. 

“Are you okay?! Ethan-!”

“I’ve got to go!” My whisper interrupts him, and I watch with a sinking gut as those beautiful greens close for just an instant while he rolls off me. 

“I’m sorry.” His voice is softer than usual, with no arrogance or jokes lacing his words. “Did I do something to-?”

“I just really need to sleep-I...I don’t feel well.” My entire body begins to tremble while I scramble to get my pants back over my hips. 

“Are you still drunk?” He hands me my shirt from the mess of sheets that surrounds him, his touch still incredibly warm from everything that just happened and almost happened. “Do you need help?”

“No, I’m-” I hold my breath while I struggle to fasten the buttons, remembering much too late that I should’ve started at the top. “I’m fine, just...here.” I pluck the water bottle from the floor and press it into his palm before I can even come close to explaining a single thing. 

“I’ll help you, just give me a minute to-”

“No.” My tone is much too harsh to come across as anything but upset, and Micah freezes with both hands clutching the covers over his otherwise naked existence. 

“Ethan-”

“I’m gonna go, just please finish that water before you sleep!” I rush towards the door, stumbling with every step I take. I can faintly hear him cursing to himself when I close myself out in the hallway. My eyes are blinking so fast I can hardly see the worn black flooring beneath my bare feet. Crap. My sandals. I leave them behind, and take to the stairs like I’ve even got the strength to go up to the fourth floor at this point. 

~

Someone’s showering in the men’s bathroom when I push my way in to brush my teeth, but the floor is otherwise quiet. It’s nearly two in the morning, so I figure most of my residents are in bed by now. 

I’m just starting in on scrubbing my molars to really get that cheap jello shot vodka out of my mouth when the water shuts off behind me. I don’t think anything of it until the squish of footsteps in flip flops closes in, accompanied by a throat clearing. 

“Hi.” The gentle rasp of Quinn Cassidy startles the toothpaste foam right down my chin, and I have to lean over the sink in a frenzied series of giggling to rinse it all away. 

“You scared me,” I mumble while I pat my face dry with my bath towel. I freeze when I catch his reflection in the mirror, that thin face and firm jaw relaxed slightly in a crooked grin as he flicks on the sink. He’s...not dressed. 

It takes every ounce of brain power I’ve got left not to scan his lanky form while he sets a plastic carrier similar to mine on the counter and plucks a tube of toothpaste out of the smallest compartment. I let every droplet of mind goo trickle away when the towel wrapped around his waist slips a little, and my gulp chokes me just as his hand catches the thing before all is revealed. He’s got freckles on his hips.

“Is everything okay?” He mumbles, his toothbrush paused mid-scrub in his mouth. 

“Ahuh!” I grasp at my shower supplies, nearly dropping the shampoo when my arm knocks into it. “Tired. Gonna go wash-”

“Wait a sec.” The sudden deep tone woven into his words stops me in my scramble to be behind a curtain and not interacting with other humans right now. 

I watch, frozen in place, as he rinses his mouth in the sink. Just once. Just one rinse and spit. “You didn’t brush for very long,” I mutter before I can stop myself. 

Quinn uses the front of his wrist by his palm to dab at stray water droplets on his chin while he turns to face me. “Forgot I already did,” he says, his voice back to carrying that lightness I’ve detected in it the few times he’s spoken to me. “Before I showered.” 

“Ah...”

“Is everything okay?” He asks again, taking quite a large step towards me until we’re eye level and I’m discovering I didn’t know he was my height until right now. 

“Ahuh, I just-hold on. Why’d you want me to wait?” I clutch my clattering supplies against my chest as those deep gray orbs pierce through my entire existence. “Uh-” My voice shuts off when his arm raises by my shoulder, and my body flinches on instinct. 

“You…” Quinn’s dark brows furrow at my reaction, but before I can apologize or something, there’s a light tugging on the back of my shirt.

“What are you-?”

“This.” He interrupts softly while slowly moving his hand from behind me to brandish a pair of pine needles stuck together with a tiny blob of sap at the tips. “This was on you.”