Aaron didn't know what he found worse. What he was going through in his cell every night, feeling numb and filthy, or the helpless look in Rick's eyes, every time their paths crossed. He knew his friend found it hard to keep his distance, and Aaron found it hard as well. Every hour of every day, he longed for his arms, to feel safe, even when he knew that Rick was no match to Moloch.

Things had become worse; what his cellmate was doing to his body hurt a hundred times worse than before, especially when Moloch groaned in his ear how he would do the same to the "little curly" and how he would force Aaron to watch when Moloch would tear his friend open from the inside. Sometimes he described the scenes so vividly it made Aaron throw up, where after the man hit him or made him smear his puke on Moloch's genitals so Aaron could lick it off.

It was never enough for Moloch; trauma after trauma was building up. Aaron became more willingly each day, forcing himself to pleasure the man as good as he could, hoping he would leave Rick alone.

Until now, it was working and that sick motherfucker hadn't touched his friend. Whether it was because he was satisfied with Aaron, because he enjoyed seeing Aaron live in fear, or because he took Mateo's claim on the boy at least a little serious, he did not know.

The moments with Rick were scarce. They occasionally met in the restroom where they locked themselves up in the bathroom stall and where Rick wrapped his arms around him. Wordlessly, Aaron cried while Rick stroked his hair and whispered sweet nothings. The first two weeks after Moloch's return from solitary, Aaron had acted like he could handle it. But Rick wasn't stupid. He felt his pain and his grief, and it hurt him that Aaron pushed him away. After giving in to his pain, he had cried for at least fifteen minutes. It had given a little bit of relief. Although he'd wanted to protect his friend, he now knew that Rick wanted to share in his suffering; he wanted to help him with a kiss or a hug. It gave him strength — strength to pull through.

Fridays were still the days he looked forward to. There were even a few guards who turned a blind eye if they stayed too long in one of the cells. Although nobody stopped Moloch from doing what he did, some of the guards still seemed to have a bit of a heart and allowed him a few moments with the one he loved.

Rick's cell was in the middle of the row, the most suitable place to take a break. Also this time, Rick had pulled him on the bed and wrapped his arms around him. He told him about the carnival in the city where he grew up, where they would eat cotton candy and kiss in the Ferris wheel once they were out of prison. It were stories and promises like these that made Aaron forget about all the cruelties for a few seconds.

It weren't always nice stories Rick told him. He also told him about the science teacher he'd been in a relationship with and who committed suicide when the truth came out, and he also talked about his last ex who practically sent him to this awful place.

"But I don't mind to be here," Rick had said with a smile, letting his fingers travel across Aaron's jaw. "Otherwise, I never would have met you. And what I feel for you, I've never felt for anyone."

Something Aaron could confirm. They'd lost themselves in a warm kiss that melted away the pain and the fear and directed his face back towards the future. That was what he should focus on; a future in which they were both free.

"Three more weeks," Aaron said. He turned on Rick's lap, putting a knee on both sides of him so he could face him. "Three more weeks and I'm free."

"Yes." Rick's eyes lighted up. "I'm counting down the days."

Aaron's thumb caressed Rick's bottom lip and he leaned forward to kiss the corner of his mouth. "I will visit you as many times as I can."

His friend had to stay six months longer, of which three months without Mateo's protection. That was the period Aaron feared the most. That might be the moment Moloch was waiting for.

Rick smiled. Even after all the times he had seen that smile, the sight of it filled his heart with warmth. The beauty of it never bored; it was spectacular as the sunset. "I really like that. I never had a visitor."

The look on his face became gloomy.

Aaron hated Rick's parents. Their child was inside, innocent, and they hadn't paid him a single visit. They didn't take his calls, nor did they answer his letters. He didn't understand how they could do that to such a sweet boy.

Aaron's mother and little sister had visited him. Twice. The second time, Aaron had a tantrum, after which he had been unable to look them in the eye again. The abuse had already started, which was why he couldn't control his emotions and he didn't want them to see the look in his eyes become emptier and emptier. It would only hurt them.

He did miss them. His mother hated him for what he had done, yet, he knew she loved him. And his baby sister... He swallowed at the thought of the little Lina. He was going through this for her. He had saved her from a monster; that he had gotten his own monster in return... Well, so be it. At least she was safe now.

Aaron laid two fingers under Rick's chin and lifted his crestfallen face. "But I will visit you. I promise."

Rick's cheeks turned pink. He wrapped his arms around Aaron and pulled him to his chest. "You never told me why you're inside. Sometimes — it's hard to imagine that you really did something horrible. You're so sweet."

Aaron showed him a small smile. He found it hard to talk about it, but Rick made everything easier. He leaned back in Rick's embrace so he could look at him. "My father was an alcoholic. He hit us sometimes. Mom wanted to leave, but she didn't have a job, and she did have two children. Lina is only ten. She has a form of autism, and for her, it was hard to see when she should stay away from Father." He swallowed. "One day, he stumbled inside with a bottle  of whisky in his hand. Right after school; he'd been away all night and day. He stumbled over one of Lina's toys, and the bottle fell and it broke. In his anger, he stomped on the kids' telescope and she ran to it. As she started to cry, he hit her. First with his hand. Then..." The memory made him flinch; suddenly, he saw her bleeding face before his eyes. "Then, with the broken bottle. He lashed out to her face and injured her badly. I was reading on the couch, and I yelled at him, telling him to stop. When he didn't... I grabbed a vase and hit his head, again and again, until he stopped. And then... then he was dead." The last words were barely a whisper. "I killed my father."

Despite everything, it had still been his father. He hadn't been himself; the alcohol had turned him into a monster. Even when his father was no longer moving, Aaron had continued to hit him. The fear for his sister's safety had such a strong hold over him that he'd completely lost control. He'd never wanted to kill his father. He had just... wanted him to stop. He had wanted him to become normal again. Before... whatever problems made him drink so much.

Rick cupped the sides of his face. "That's horrible. I'm so sorry for you."

Aaron's eyes dropped. The most horrible thing was that their household income was gone. Aaron couldn't contribute financially, for he was stuck in here. He had no idea how they were, if they still had a roof above their heads, if they had enough food.

He didn't dare to think about it; the fear that he had harmed his family more than his father had done was extremely painful. Sometimes, he really believed they weren't doing well and that Moloch was his punishment. That he no longer deserved happiness because he'd caused them so much misery.

A caress across his cheek made him look up. Also now, guilt was pooling in his stomach. Maybe he neither deserved Rick. His angel.

"Do you miss him?"

The question was a bit unexpected. Aaron rubbed his neck. "I miss who he used to be. The good memories. But not... who he had become." He sighed softly. "What about you? Do you miss your parents."

Rick stared down and stayed silent for a long time.

"I'm glad to have you," he said eventually.

Rick had no one else while he had never done anything wrong, which made Aaron sad. He had just fallen in love with the wrong men. What did that say about Aaron? Was there something wrong with him too? He was in prison, he couldn't protect himself, had brought Rick in danger, and he had killed his father. Deep down, he knew the answer.

Aaron bent his head until his forehead rested against that of the other boy, and he looked into his warm brown eyes. "I think I love you," he whispered. A blush spread across his cheeks, which was mirrored on Rick's.

"I love you too," Rick answered. "Do you, uh — I was wondering for some time... Do you want to be my boyfriend? Or — or are you already my boyfriend?"

Was he? Aaron didn't know. He wanted it, he wanted Rick, but it was strange to call someone his boyfriend why someone else possessed his body.

"If you — if you would want that," he said, hesitating. "Despite that I'm..." He swallowed. "Well, you know."

"I want you to be my boyfriend." Rick caressed his cheek. "I want that very much."

They leaned closer and kissed each other intimately.

Then, the moment was over and they would have to wait another week before they could be together again.