The Garden
Nov 07, 2015
I'm afraid of hugging someone... I used to be called a tease because I wanted to be affectionate.. I forgot how to feel safe in anyone's arms...I'm afraid to kiss because all of a sudden... I've produced a sensual reaction..I..I don't want that..
...I'm afraid of attaching to people because no one has stayed with me long enough to truly feel that safety. They just..g-go away eventually you know..? They stop talking or...or they say I'm just not that fun of a person..to be with.....I'm..eh..scared..
I do my best though..I really do... whether I'm told how good or bad I am, how loved or hated I'll be...I do my best because I want you to be the one..smiling for us today.
When I'm told...I'm loved.. I fidget.. I smile and I begin to shake a little. I nod my head and want to say so truly " I love you too. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it! " but..I just sort of mumble out.. " likewise" ...I've always been a bit timid..guess it got worse..
Jude
Top comment
Shane... I just don't know what to say. Is probably quite stupid, and not what you want to here, but I actually adore you. You're like that friend I never had, that could just read me so well. I would love so much that we could have a real conversation, but I'm so shy. I don't even know what I should say to you. You always sound like a really smart person, deep and thoughtful. Everything you say hit me so hard, I can see myself in you. And I don't want you to be afraid either. I want you to be happy, just as happy as you want all of us to be. And if you ever want to talk, I'm here. I know people always say things like that when another person is feeling down, but I actually mean it.
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