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“Smile for the camera!” 8-year-old me gave Mom the cheesiest grin I could. She’s a professional photographer, and her job takes her all around the world for exhibits. She mostly takes photos of nature and landscapes, but whenever she’s back home, she makes sure to get as many photos of my sister and I as she can.

Dad never talked about it, but I could see how much he missed her from the look in his eyes whenever he’d see my sister and I playing or talking. We have her eyes, and the older my sister gets, the more she looks like Mom.

I tried not to talk about Mom at school. I wanted to make friends that would like me for who I am instead of for how famous my mom is. Sadly, some little kids can be evil. Rumors floated around that I didn’t have a mom, and I would always try and defend myself by saying she’s just really busy.

“If your mom isn’t there, then she must not love you!” A kid said that, making the other kids laugh. Our teacher told them to stop, but kids don’t really like to listen.

At home, I’d tell my big sister about my day while in tears, and she’d hug me while patting my head. She would always tell me to let my tears out because if I didn’t, I might end up hurting the people I care about most.

It’s a lesson we learned from living with Dad.

He had high expectations of us, but he would always freak out whenever my sister or I mentioned traveling or wanting to move away. He got drunk one night and told us just how much he wants Mom to stay home. He’s scared that one day, we’ll leave him in the house alone.

He’s like a mother bird that’s afraid to let her chicks leave the nest. Unfortunately for us, the day to move came sooner than it should have.

I was nearly a year into my first year of middle school when I was called to the principal’s office. Some students had made reports about me, saying that I was a problem. I defended myself that day, telling the teachers that I was the one being bullied, and they were all lying.

Life doesn’t always work the way you want it to.

Dad was called, and it was “recommended” that I change schools. I was the one suffering the most, yet the teachers thought it would be easier on them if they just moved the victim somewhere else.

I hated that.

I hated how a place like school with all its rules would pretend like those rules didn’t exist if it meant their reputation could stay intact. I was mad, but I didn’t say a thing.

Dad decided to move us to another town a few weeks later, telling our friends and relatives that he’d gotten a better job elsewhere. I told the same thing to my best friend, lying to her for the first time.

When I got to my new school, I forced myself to become a completely different person.

I thought about my mom—the one and only Lee Jiyeon—and the way she taught me to smile.

I thought about my sister—Lee Chunhwa—and how her smile has always been able to ease my own pain.

That day I—Lee Sarang—started smiling more. It didn’t matter if I felt happy or not. As long as nothing was happening to me anymore, I would be okay.

A lie can become the truth if your belief in the lie is strong enough.

Clover

It’s Friday evening, and I’m biking alone through the streets to get to Sarang’s house. I prayed for every red light I saw to turn green while cycling through empty roads.

I know it’s illegal, but I can’t sit still while my best friend’s in pain alone.

Sarang’s always been like this. She cares so much for others, but she’s bad at taking care of herself. A few years may have flown by, but she’s still the same girl I knew back in elementary school.

I didn’t need to guess what or who the problem was. I’d seen it for myself and tried to step in whenever I could.

I knew that bitch Nari was doing something, but today made it clear that Sarang breaking down like that was her real goal.

A few weeks ago, I felt like something was off when Sarang couldn’t find her gym clothes. Luckily, I always kept an extra set in my locker, so we avoided a problem there.

Then things kept escalating.

A girl would “accidentally” trip and fall on her after freshly painting their nails, staining Sarang’s white uniform shirt. I thought the first time was a mistake, but after it happened again, I knew something was up.

During the times we’d sit and talk to each other in the mornings, girls would bump against her shoulder.

“Sorry! You just don’t have much of a presence!” I would then lightly push them back for quick retaliation.

“Sorry!” I said, mocking her tone. “Dress flashier, and maybe some guy will notice you.” The girl prepared to say something back, but I glared at her. She backed off knowing that this was a fight she wouldn’t win.

Back then, I looked at Sarang and asked, “How come you’re not standing up for yourself?” She almost smiled, but I put my middle finger and thumb against her forehead, ready to flick it. “I’m not your dad, your sister, or anyone else. If you hit me with that fake smile, I will flick.”

A light laugh left her lips. “Thanks for stopping me.” She glanced at the girl who’d bumped into her earlier. “I’m tired of fighting it. I don’t like the way they make me feel, but it’s only for two more years.” She looked at me with glossy eyes. “I’ll be happy once we graduate, right?”

I couldn’t answer her question then, but now I wish I’d given her some type of reassurance.

The bullying continued with the Queen Bee herself taking no actions of her own.

After school one day, I went to the teachers’ office. It was a large room with spaced out desks that teachers used when they weren’t teaching classes. I could see several other teachers drinking coffee, grading work, or dying inside. I silently wished them luck with their work.

I approached my homeroom teacher and swore I saw her jump when she saw me. She was just surprised. Don’t overthink it. She kept her black hair in a short bun, and she looked like she was in her late twenties.

“Excuse me, Teacher?” She’d been in the middle of grading papers when I approached her. Luckily, my homeroom teacher was one of the nicer ones. She’s approachable and even makes the occasional joke while teaching us.

I want to trust her. I need to.

“Clover!” She quickly started looking through her papers. “If this is about your recent test, then you really need to brush up on—”

“Sorry Teacher, but that’s not what I came here for.” I might ask about it later though. “It’s about Sarang.”

“The transfer student!” Teacher’s face brightened. “I heard that the two of you were already friends. I think it’s amazing that the two of you can finish out your school years together after spending so much time apart. Is she enjoying her time here?” She looked so happy, and that only made my next sentence harder to say.

“Some of the girls in our grade have been harassing her for almost two months now, and I think it’s starting to take a toll on her mental health.” Her smile fell away, and I took that as a signal to continue. “You’re right. We’ve been friends for years, and I love that girl. The thing is, I love this school too. I’ve been through a lot with her in the past, and the last thing I want is for the past to repeat itself.”

I tried to sound as respectful as possible. “This school has helped me out a lot. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make the basketball team here. My coach and teammates actually believed in me despite…the way people usually look at me. I hope it’s not too much to ask for, but I want the same school that helped me in my time of need to help my best friend too.”

I’d spent the entirety of last night thinking about what to say today. It was risky, but if there was even a 1% chance of it helping Sarang, then it would all be worth it.

Teacher sat at her desk in thought for some of the longest seconds of my life. She then asked, “Do you know who may have started the harassment?”

This is it! Snitches may get stitches, but stitches are there to help aid in the healing process.

This time, I’ll let myself get hurt for you.

“Jin Nari is behind the bullying.”

I told her everything I knew and left the office feeling lighter and happier. She told me that she’d look into it. I believed in my homeroom teacher.

I really did.

The next week during one of the breaks between classes, Jin Nari herself approached my desk.

I was nervous, but I held my ground. “Are you gonna talk to me or what?”

With eyes that didn’t seem to see anyone but herself, Jin Nari took Yuri’s seat. He’d left the classroom for a reason I didn’t know, and Sarang had gone to the bathroom.

Nari purposely chose this moment to speak with me.

“You know why I’m here, so for both of our sakes, I’ll make this conversation a short one.” Not bothering to look at me, she pulled out her phone and started scrolling. “With both my younger brother and I here, my father has been making hefty donations to this school. That very money is what’s allowing the athletic program to run smoothly.”

She looked at me, her eyes filled with venom. “I don’t care what you do from now on. This situation won’t have anything to do with you as long as you don’t let it.” She leaned in closer to me. “Of course, if you can distance your idiot friend away from Sora for me, then that would solve both of our problems, wouldn’t it?”

I moved my head away from hers. “I don’t have control over who my friends talk to, just like you obviously can’t control the fact that your ex isn’t into you.” I spotted Sora on the other side of the classroom helping someone. “With a girl like you, he must’ve been relieved after breaking up.”

Nari’s right eye twitched, but she kept her usual composure. “This is why I don’t like speaking to foreigners outside of business.”

I was frozen. I wanted to say something back, but Yuri had returned with Sarang before I could speak.

The day after, Friday, is when things really escalated.

Throughout the hallway, you could hear people whispering whenever Sarang walked by.

“Is that really her?”

“I can’t believe she’d show up to school after what she did.”

“Some people should just know when to lay low.”

When we reached our homeroom, we found out why. There was a note on Sarang’s desk. She looked at it and started shaking. She threw the note to the ground and ran out of the classroom.

I looked at our homeroom teacher, pleading as hard as I could with my eyes. She broke eye contact with me. My other classmates did the same.

Nari’s words from the day before came to mind. Her father had been donating to our school, and it was more than enough to fund one of our programs. If the school did anything to one of the Jin siblings, they’d be at risking that funding.

When the first break came, I picked up the note that Sarang had dropped. It only had a few words:

Will you move for a third time?

Yuri

I’ve never wanted to leave school as much as I did today. I heard the rumors about Sarang, but I didn’t care. I was more worried about the fact that I didn’t see her in class today.

During the first break, I went up to Reily’s desk and asked, “Do you know where she is?”

She scowled and looked past me. “She’s probably at home crying right now because of what she did.” I followed Reily’s eyes, leading my gaze to Pinkie sitting at her desk surrounded by her entourage.

I started to walk towards Pinkie’s desk, but I hesitated. Luckily, she saw me coming. She shooed the girls away from her. Several of them blushed when they looked at me, and for the first time I felt grateful that my appearance made talking to me hard.

Pinkie turned her phone face down on her desk. “It’s about her, correct?”

I sighed. “What’s the point in asking me when you already know the answer?”

She chuckled to herself. “You’re not the type of person to go looking for trouble, are you?”

I shook my head. “That’s how you got away with all of this without me knowing.”

“You’re easy to read, but it’s made becoming friends with you stress-free.”

“Friends, huh?” It was weird hearing her call me her friend, but I guess that’s what I am. “If we’re really friends, then why would you hurt a friend of mine like this?”

Pinkie—no—Nari bit her lip after hearing my question. She looked away from me and began reaching for her phone, stopping herself before touching it. Her foot started to tap as if she were waiting impatiently for something. She glanced at me again, her face softening.

“I was so focused on what I could gain that I didn’t deeply consider all of the things I could lose. I’m not blinded by love, but the rose-colored glasses I see through are missing a lens.”

For just that moment, her façade had fallen away.

She continued. “You probably don’t think of me as a friend in this moment, but there’s something you can do that I can’t.” Her eyes drifted to the front of the classroom. “Today’s incident was the last thing I had planned, and it did exactly what I expected it to do. Nothing I do could hurt her more, so there’s no point in continuing.”

Nari traced the shape of a heart on her desk. “I trust you, Yuri. Whether or not you hate me right now, I trust you. Because I trust you, I need you to do something that will help stop this pain I’m feeling right now.”

I took a deep breath and asked, “That depends on what it is.”

“I need you to talk to Sora for me.” My disgusted expression must’ve surprised her, but she kept going. “You hate him, and the feeling is mutual between the two of you. He would have no reason to lie to you if you asked him how he really feels about me. I’m aware that his feelings for me disappeared years ago, but if someone I trust tells me that it’s over, I know I’ll be able to move on.”

I thought about it for a minute. I doubted that he’d want to talk to me, but I remember the way he looked at Sarang. I’d be an idiot if I ignored how much I’ve seen him change since she came to our school.

We still don’t talk to each other, but with Sarang’s desk being next to mine, he doesn’t instigate arguments the way he used to. It was a risk, but if getting closure helps Nari move on and stops my friend from being bullied, talking to ol’ Jeff Bozo’s not a bad trade.

The girl in front of me has issues, but I couldn’t find it in myself to be mad at her.

After all, I have someone I hate the same way she does.

I took a deep breath and said, “I’ll help you if you promise me something.”

“Anything!” She grabbed my hand in desperation. I could feel them shaking slightly.

“When you start feeling bad like this, come let me know. Someone important to me once said that you’ll erupt like a volcano if you don’t vent often, and it’s obvious to anyone that you’ve caused Pompeii to erupt twice.”

While I was internally cheering at my history reference, Nari nodded. “Get ready for a lot of texts.”

I laughed and braced myself for talking to Sora. I tried to let go of Nari’s hand, but she gripped my hand tighter. “One more thing.”

“What’s up?”

She interlaced her fingers with mine. “If I let Sora go, will you take his place?”